Every year beginning just after Halloween, the Hallmark Channel releases a deluge of Christmas rom-coms with the same plot: a woman with a high-power job in the City finds love and fulfillment in a small town. At Christmas.
Wait -- aren't small towns places you escape from, and return to at Christmas to have uncomfortable conversations with redneck relatives?
I can't imagine that the intended audience for Hallmark Christmas rom-coms is clamoring for LGBTQ representation, but this year there have been a few non-Hallmark productions with gay brothers and best friends. Christmas in New York even has a lesbian primary plot. Anxious to avoid being labeled "square," Hallmark chimed in Christmas with the Darlings.
Terrible name, reminiscent of the Peter Pan stories, and there aren't even any characters named Darlings (they are Darlingtons).
The plot: Jessica (Katrina Law) has a high-power job in the City, working at the law firm of the hunky Charles (Steve Bacic). Will they fall in love? Of course not -- true love can only be found in small towns. At Christmas.
Charles' Australian brother and sister-in-law have just died, so he has custody of his orphaned nephew and nieces. Don't worry, they are not at all traumatized by losing their parents. In Australia Christmas falls in the middle of the summer, so they're excited about their first Christmas in a place where sleighbells ringing, chestnuts roasting on an open fire, and guys in red fur suits actually make sense.
Gulp: Charles has to be away "on business" for Christmas, so where will the kids go?
Could his goofball brother Max (Carlo Marks) take care of them? No, the "confirmed bachelor" has no place in his life for kids. They'll have to stay in boarding school through the Christmas holiday.
Perfect stranger Jessica swoops in and offers to give them a "real New England Christmas." Charles agrees, as long as Max tags along to make sure she's not a wacko who intends to sell them, or eat them.
Jessica doesn't like Max -- he's a goofball, a screw-up, and "arrogant." Uh-oh, "arrogant" is tv for "sexy."
So they all descend onto the Small Town for sleighbells, chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose, tree trimming (why do they call it trimming, anyway?), caroling, presents, and lots of red and green color schemes. Of course Jessica and Max fall in love, and get a ready-made family (presumably Charles won't mind giving up guardianship.)
Beefcake: No.
Gay characters: Oh, I almost forgot. Jessica's best friend is a lesbian, who has a blink-and-you miss it flirtation with a barista back home in the City.
What, you wanted a full subplot, with a gay couple descending upon the Small Town to sing carols and trim the tree?
On the Hallmark Channel, even acknowledging that LGBTQ people exist is a big step.
Hallmark is producing a holiday movie with a gay couple as the main characters- there is also another holiday movie with gay cowboys- you know "Christmas on Brokeback Mountain"
ReplyDelete"The Christmas House," airing November 22nd. The promo shows two boy-girl couples and a gay couple in Christmas ornaments. The preview gives you an idea that the two guys are a couple by showing them almost kissing (but to be fair, the boy-girl couple almost kisses, too).
Delete"Dashing in December" is the title of the gay cowboy movie on the Paramount Network.
ReplyDeleteThanks for clearing that up. I thought he was joking with "Christmas on Brokeback Mountain," or referring to a porn movie.
DeleteBoomer I was kidding about "Christmas on Brokeback Mountain" but actually I can see a plot in that...there was good porn movie called "Bi-Broke Mountain" about bi-sexual guys
ReplyDeleteA lot of rural bisexuality. It's much more furtive. I mean, when I grew up, I didn't want to confess to my parents exactly what I was doing with friends when we went camping or swimming. And my parents were decidedly on the accepting end of the spectrum, having provided a roof for gay kids from within two counties. (Funny story, my dad used to say the women in porn were basically slaves. So presumably gay porn is acceptable. Moot point, since there were no porn shops in our county.
DeleteDannell Leyva the Cuban-American Olympic gymnast recently came out as "bi-sexual" or " pansexual. He is still has not made up his mind. Leyva also said that he is never had a boyfriend but I'm sure there is long waiting list for that.
DeleteFrankly I'm not sure the difference.
DeletePersonally I love how Boomer's on Team Veronica but all the movies are on Team Betty and meanwhile I want to resolve all love triangles à la Adventure Time.
Team Veronica? I'd actually rather have a date with Archie. Or Reggie. Or Moose. or Pop Tate.
DeleteI mean the more "exotic" one versus the "small-town" love interest.
DeleteThe Adventure Time reference was of course Finn crushes on Marcelline and Princess Bubblegum, who meanwhile have this centuries-old romance (They literally antedate the cataclysm that created the Land of Ooo.) that he's completely unaware of.
As I recall, Marcelline was a little girl at the beginning of the Mushroom Wars, and eventually turned into a teenage vampire and stopped aging. Although her father is the Prince of Darkness, so she might be immortal anyway. Princess Bubblegum was created several centuries afterwards; she's always a teenager, except when she lost so much of her body mass that the doctor had to refashion her as a child.
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