1. Illinois. Tough call, since I grew up in Rock Island and went to college there. But I'm going to go with Dylan, the 28-year old retro twink met in 2015. He acted like it was still 1985.
2. Indiana. Another tough call: visits to relatives twice a year, graduate school at Indiana University, visiting my parents in Indianapolis. I'm going to go with Tyler, the "son" of my first boyfriend Fred, who I met in 2012. He was actually the son of Fred's housemate, but I still got a weird family vibe.
3. Iowa. Davenport, Iowa was right across the river from Rock Island. Plus I've been to Des Moines several times. But my favorite hookup was with a 48-hour long date with Sammy, the son of my old speech teacher Mr. Blowfish, a Swedish-Vietnamese art history professor who took me on a 36 hour date in Cornell, Iowa.
5. Minnesota. At a conference in St. Peter, Minnesota, I picked up a Vietnamese undergrad at an art gallery, but ended up on a date with his gym rat cousin.
6. Nebraska. In 1980 my boyfriend Fred and I moved to Omaha for a terrible month. He brought home Mike, a teenager from his youth group at church. Years later I tried to find Mike again. He had died, but I found out from his nephew that he kept a picture from that night all his life.
8. Wisconsin. We lived in Racine, Wisconsin from Kindergarten through second grade, but of course I was too young for sausage sightings. I didn't meet anyone in Wisconsin until January 2014, when I went to Milwaukee for a post-Christmas vacation, and picked up Superman.
9. Connecticut. When I was living on Long Island, my first year in grad school, I went out on a date with a guy who lived in Greenwich, Connecticut, three hours away by train. I spent the night, and the next day he gave me the wrong directions, so I had to spend 2 hours standing on a train platform.
10. Maine. In 2010, my boyfriend Troy and I went to the gay resort town of Ogunquit, Maine. I don't care much for resorts, but we did manage to pick up a guy on the beach.
11. New Hampshire. Drove through, but didn't stop.
12. Rhode Island. In 2000, Yuri and I visited my friend Zack, who was studying at the Rhode Island School of Design.
13. Vermont. On the way back from Maine in 2010, Troy and I stayed overnight in Burlington, Vermont, and hooked up with an undergrad French major at Middlebury College.
Middle Atlantic States
14. Delaware. I've only been here once, when Jermaine, the Biggest Guy on My Sausage List, took me to Bowers Beach for his uncle's 50th birthday party.
15. Maryland. November 2016: Three guys in my bed in Baltimore, each more hung than the last.
16. New Jersey. When I lived in New York, one night I broke every rule of gay cruising and ended up in the house of a cute Hispanic guy, with his parents in the next room, somewhere in New Jersey.
20. Florida. I lived in Wilton Manors for 4 years, but my most memorable hookup was probably when David and I drove down to Key West, and picked up the hitchhiker.
The full list, with nude photos and sexual situations, is on Tales of West Hollywood.