Jan 23, 2017

My Date with Nate Richert and his Kielbasa

West Hollywood, March 2000

In March 2000, I was back in West Hollywood for my friend Larry's annual Oscar party.  March 25th, the night before, Lane and Randall (the bear with the pierced penis) took me out to all our old haunts: Bodhi Tree, Different Light, the French Quarter, the Gold Coast, Mugi, the Faultline.

But we never made it to the Faultline.

I was struck by a twink sitting at the bar in the Gold Coast. A little shorter than me, broad shoulders, very handsome round face with sandy hair and glasses, kind of a Harry Potter look except for the lumberjack shirt.

I sat next to him.  He said "Howdy, pardner," and held out his hand to be shaken.

I made a quip about Hogwarts.  He countered with a quip about Lemony Snicket's Unfortunate Events.

Our legs pressed together under the bar.  "Can I buy you another beer?" I asked.

"Heck, I'll buy you a beer.  I'll buy everybody a beer.  Drinks are on me!"

"Well, I don't really drink."

"A virgin margarita, then.  You have to let me buy you something.  I can afford it.  I'm Harvey, and I'm always going to be Harvey, no matter what they say!!"

Was that name supposed to mean something?  All I could think of was Harvey the Giant Rabbit in the James Stuart movie.  "Ok, Harvey, a Coke will be fine."

He seemed a little soused, but not unbearably so.  I reached out, unbuttoned a couple of buttons of his lumberjack shirt, and slid my hand down to feel his firm, hairy chest.  Few twinks have that much hair -- I was hooked!

I reached down and groped him.

The full post, with nude photos (not of Nate Richert), is on Tales of West Hollywood

Jan 22, 2017

Searching for a Gay Connection for Jackson Lueders

Someone found his way to this blog by searching for "Jackson Lueders shirtless."  I'm pretty sure there is no reference to Jackson Lueders on Boomer Beefcake and Bonding.  I never heard of him before.

So I googled him.

Ok, here he is shirtless.  A skinny blond teenager at the beach. 17 years old.

Here's another shirtless shot, again at the beach, darker hair, a bit younger.

But why should Jackson Lueders get a post?  Why is he famous?

Google reveals Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, a high school sports timeline, and a site that will tell you his height, weight, and eye color.

Still no idea why he's famous.

Jackson is second from the left.  According to Google Images, another of these people is his friend Jordyn Jones.  The farthest right is his brother Carson.

 I blocked out the girl in the bikini.

Carson, age 15, seems to be more famous.  He has Twitter, Instagram, Facebook (2.2 million likes), Pinterest, and his own website, where we hear that he's a singer.  He has performed on The View, and his music is available on Youtube and Spotify.

Ok, but you can't get on this blog unless you are gay, or there's some gay content in your work.

 Carson's songs include "Get to Know You Girl" and "Bae Back" (2015), about losing his girlfriend.  Sounds hetero to me.

There are gay "accusations" by homophobes on the internet: "ur gay bro" and "Carson is GAY!!!!"  I'm not sure that they qualify.

Nor does having a soda with Greg Marks, another pop singer who tweets "I need a girl who will be my best friend."

Carson's beach buddy here is pop singer Dylan Summerall, who tweets that it doesn't matter if a girl is "thick or thin," he likes them all.

Dylan Summerall is seen here with his brothers Hayden and Jimmy, who are also pop singers who write extensively about girls.  I blocked out the girl in the bikini next to them.

I've got nothing.  No gay content, just a lot of photos of  shirtless hetero kids.

But at least that guy who found his way by searching for "Jackson Lueders shirtless" won't be disappointed.

Jan 21, 2017

Brad Pitt or Skyler Stone: Which Celebrity Dating Story Should David Use?

San Francisco, October 2010

Everybody has dated or hooked up with someone famous, or at least someone who's been in front of a tv camera, but a good celebrity dating story has to have five characteristics:

1. He has to be recognizable to the audience.  Someone who starred in five episodes of a long-gone sitcom doesn't count.
2. He has to be attractive.
3. He can't be out.  Who cares about your date with a gay guy?  We want closets, down low, dish.
4. The sexual activity should be explosive.  This is an erotic story, after all.
5. The date or hookup should be verifiable.

That's why my go-to celebrity dating story is Michael J. Fox, even though it's been 30 years and nothing erotic happened. He's a recognizable star, he's attractive, he's straight, and I can prove that we had lunch.  I can invent the explosions.

My friend David in San Francisco has been hooking up with at least one guy per day since 1996, but that good celebrity dating story has always eluded him.  He usually goes with Brad Pitt, even though it was actually a 4-way, and the details aren't verifiable.

But today, David calls and tells me, "I found a new celebrity hookup story:  Skyler Stone."


"Do you watch Raising Hope?"

"Of course."   Unlike its predecessor My Name is Earl, there are no gay characters.  But there are ample gay subtexts, and endless beefcake: hunky Lucas Neff and Garret Dillahunt are shirtless in nearly every episode.

"Skyler Stone played Cousin Mike in the first episode."

The full story, with nude photos and sexual situations, is on Tales of West Hollywood.

Here's a link to the story of David's hookup with Skyler Stone.

And Brad Pitt.

Which do you prefer?