Jul 18, 2018
Rick Sanchez is a foul-mouthed, misanthropic, drunken mad scientist who drags his squeamish tween grandson Morty (both voiced by series co-creator Justin Roiland) on complex, blood-and-puke filled adventures in the multiverse.
Sometimes his other relatives (forceful daughter Beth, her sitcom-inept husband Jerry, self-involved teenage granddaughter Summer) tag along.
Example: when his spaceship battery goes dead, Rick reveals that he has created an entire microverse inside the battery and populated it with beings who generate the electricity by stomping on foot-generators.
They know that six people belong there: the main family, and Sleepy Gary, who is actually married to Beth. Ok, seven: Frankenstein has been a close friend for years. Ok, eight, including the Raptor. Ten...ten people have always lived in the house. No, twelve...
I have to admit, the plotlines are interesting, with effusively creative universe inside of universe. The blood and puke, not so much.
And Rick's habit of ending every sentence with "Morty" gets annoying.
"We got to get out of here, Morty. Hand me that cosmic defrazzler, Morty. This should do the trick, Morty. But there's no telling what universe we'll end up in, Morty. We'll just have to wait and see, Morty."
And I can't stand Morty's whining. Or his hetero-horniness. He has a crush on The Girl of His Dreams back at school, and in most parts of the multiverse, he finds a cute alien babe and "lets his penis do the talking."
Then there's the homophobia.
Rick doesn't even like gay people. His favorite slur is "cocksucker!" It's not just a denigration of oral sex; although men and women both can engage in that activity, Rick only uses it to demean men, by implying that they are gay. For instance, in "The Wedding Squanchers," he denigrates his son-in-law Jerry: "My name is Jerry, and I love to suck big hairy boners and lick disgusting testicle sacks."
I happened to watch the episode about an hour after doing just that.
Obviously the show expects us to find gay sex disgusting.
"Gay" is also used as an all-purpose put-down: "That's gay."
According to the fan wiki, there have been several actual LGBT characters on the show. Let's take a look at them:
2. Father Bob, the priest at the town church, has gay desires that he must hide, because, of course, God hates gays.
3. An alternate universe version of Summer is a lesbian, who is dating the alternate universe version of Summer's nemesis, Christina LaCroix. She is attacked by other alternate versions of herself. Can't have those lesbians around!
4. An alien tv commercial tells us about Trunk People are men who have elephant trunks on their faces, which allows them to have sex with both men and women.
Silly me -- I thought there were people right here on Earth who had sex with men and women both. Apparently the writers believe that bisexuality is physically impossible.
Or did they mean sex with men and women at the same time is physically impossible?
News flash: you have a penis or a vagina, a mouth, a butt, and two hands. That's five partners, of whatever gender configuration you want. Try a cisgender man, a cisgender woman, a transman, a transwoman, and someone who is intersexed.
5. Maybe that's why bisexual actress Kristen Stewart has a cameo, having sex with an alternate universe Jerry. See -- she's actually straight.
Yep, all gay men are sexual predators and pedophiles. Teenage boys better be careful in public restrooms!
Even Family Guy never went that far.
I won't be watching any more episodes.
On the way home, we drove into Lasalle for ice cream or hamburgers, and passed a "haunted house," four stories, dark and spooky, with rotundas and staring windows. Once I saw a naked man staring out the window.
See: The Naked Man in the Haunted House
I haven't been there for over 30 years, so I thought it would be interesting to check on the beefcake at the edge of the world.
Their main rival is St. Bede Academy, a Catholic prep school in Peru. It was male only until 1973.
I don't know what any of that means, but Jeremiah 29:11 says: "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Nice to be sure.
The eastern edge of the universe seems to be populated mostly by bodybuilding shills.
I think I'll stick to the YMCA.
And beefcake. It took awhile to get your big break, so the teen idols were adults, in their late teens or 20s, with physiques and bulges. They appealed to guys in high school and college. Even adults often found them hot.
Today any 10-year old with a Youtube account can upload a video of him singing or telling a joke and suddenly gain 3,000,000 followers, sponsors, a movie deal, and fame. As a result, the teen idols tend to be very, very young, of interest to junior high kids and maybe, in a stretch, high schoolers, while the adults, if they have heard of them, are saying "call me in about five years."
To illustrate, here are the top 10 male teen idols from the website Teen Idols 4 You:
At least he has abs.
I think he's the one on the right.
Have you noticed that, regardless of age, they all have shirtless or underwear photos uploaded for the edification of their fans? And they all seem to have abs.
#3. Carson Lueders, age 16, an internet celebrity with 3 million instagram followers, a singer who loves his friends, family, and God. He's legal to date in some states, but why would anyone over the age of 13 want to? Even though the stars-and-stripes shorts are kind of cool.
And the #1 teen idol in the world:
He's the one second from the left, making gang signs while immersed in a pool. Call me in about 5 years.
I do like his choice of friends, though, especially the red-trunks guy with his boyfriend leaning against his crotch. Is Asher gay?