Lance Kerwin: The swimsuit boy of "James at 15" offers gay promise for about five years, then vanishes to Hawaii and fundamentalism

Link to the n*de photos

Fall 1977.  Thursday night meant staying downstairs with the family to watch The Waltons (ugh!) or going up to the room I shared with my brother to watch the ABC lineup of hip sitcoms on our small black-and-white tv: Welcome Back Kotter, What's Happening!, Barney Miller, Carter Country.  But if my brother wasn't around, I changed over to CBS before Barney Miller to watch the opening sequence of James at 15 

James (17-year old Lance Kerwin) jumps out of bed, checks for acne, does overhead presses (shirtless), swims across the pool (displaying his bare shoulders) -- practices the flute, goes skateboarding, photographs some iconic sights of Boston, walks in the rain, walks through a crowd -- and walks through the locker room (in his swimsuit). Teenagers had never seen so much teen idol beefcake.  

I didn't actually watch the show because it was almost entirely about girls: James dates a girl who is "easy," a girl who belongs to a cult, who's taller than him, who plays basketball for a rival team; "becomes a man" with a Swedish exchange student (whereupon the series becomes James at 16), has a disease scare. But just seeing James in a swimsuit was a queer code.

Lance had already been a busy child star, with roles in Emergency, Police Story, Cannon, Gunsmoke, Wonder Woman, and lots of others.  Even as a child, he specialized in contemporary angst drama, like:

The Loneliest Runner (child abuse)

The Death of Richie (drug overdose)

Four episodes of the Roman Catholic "contemporary issues" series Insight (on alcoholism, stalking, unemployment, and hydrophobia).

Five After School Specials (on bullying, stepparents twice, being short, and being poor).

The guy staring at Lance's chest in "The Amazing Cosmic Awareness of Duffy Moon" is Ike Eisenmann, who would go on to a future of jaw-dropping physiques.

But it was James at 15, with its controversial decision to make a teenage boy active with girls, that made Lance the Golden Boy of the 1970s.  He had one memorable foray into horror, a gay-subtext buddy-bond with David Soul in the tv-version of Stephen King's Salem's Lot (1979).

But otherwise it was a lot of angst with his shirt off: buddy-bonding with alcoholic high schooler Scott Baio in The Boy Who Drank Too Much (1980)

Dealing with his parents' divorce (in Children of Divorce, 1980)

Accidentally shooting Wil Wheaton in "The Shooting" (1982)

Being threatened by his murderous Dad in A Murder in the Family (1983). 

Eric Stolz played another threatened brother (n*de photos on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends)

More after the break

Gemstone Episode 4.5, Continued: Kelvin crashes, the Monkey fumes, and we find out who's bigger, Adam Devine or Joey Stefano

 Link to the n*de dudes

So far in this episode, we've learned that Vance Simkins has destroyed his parents' empire by being a violent, reactionary jerk; Lori's ex-boyfriends keep getting killed; and Kelvin's hubris is off the charts.  

Lori's Edibles: Lori and Eli want to give the siblings "some space," so they move to her house. Wait -- I thought she was living in Pigeon Forge.  If she's been living in Charleston the whole time, why hasn't she visited the Gemstones for years?

Corey meets them at the door: he dropped by to bring dinner, "Kung Pao Dynasty." Also, he left her edibles by the microwave.   Eli doesn't know what edibles are, so Miss Lori explains. Apparently he's ok with drug use now; he wasn't in earlier seasons.

Corey shakes Eli's hand and says "Have fun, you two," but as he walks away, he grimaces.  He's been killing the ex-boyfriends.

Meanwhile, Kelvin in a flamboyant costume is being photographed with the conservatively-dressed nominees for Top Christian Man. And it's time for the Live TV Roundtable.  

The full cast list is not in the episode credits or the IMDB, but I think the conservative minister being hugged by Kelvin is Chad Darnell, who is gay in real life.  He works primarily in casting, but he has 21 screen credits, and a lot of theater work, including the gay-themed Love! Valour! Compassion!, Forced, and Hedwig and the Angry Inch.

Plus some gay-themed screenplays and two novels.

He's got a biopic coming out of of gay model and adult video star Joey Stefano (1968-1994), one of the icons of my years in West Hollywood.

By the way, Sean Ryan Fox will finally appear as Young Corey in Episode 4.6 .

No, I am not stalling.

How about a nice beefcake shot of Adam Devine?

Back to the roundtable discussion, led by Stevie from Eastbound and Down.  First question:"Should children be taught a comprehensive overview of all major religions in school?" 

Kelvin jumps in, but doesn't answer the question.  Instead, he blathers about "I teach my followers everything good about Jesus.  The Bible can be confusing, so we translate it for modern, cutting-edge times." You're not qualified to be a Bible translator.  How about explaining passages in their historical/cultural context?  

Vance complains about "a homosexual" being nominated for the award.  "God's Word is clear on this issue."  Uh-oh, how are you on the Clobber Verses, Kelvin?

He's not good on the Clobber Verses.  "Um...um..lots of parts of the Bible are outdated." No, they don't refer to contemporary gay people at all!  Get with your queer theology.

When I was just coming out, I jointed the gay-specific Metropolitan Community Church.  Most members were recovering from Evangelical trauma, so every sermon -- every sermon -- was about how being gay is not a sin or a defect.  Sometimes there was detailed exegesis of specific Clobber Verses (there are only five of them), sometimes just "God loves you."  

More after the break

Nude photos of Bobby and Jake Cannavale: father and son, not in prison or the Mafia, but sometimes gay

  

Link to the nudity

In the prison drama Oz, lawyer Tobias Beecher (Lee Tergesen) is sentenced to prison for a drunk driving.  He starts a romantic/sadistic relationship with the violent Chris Keller (Bobby Cannavale).  It's a homophobic portrayal, tawdry and sinister, juxtaposed with the bright, shiny innocent image of Tobias going on a picnic with his wife.  After he is released, Tobias wants to visit Keller, but Keller refuses: go back to your normal heterosexual life, and forget about the nasty stuff you did here.

Wait -- according to the Oz wiki, Keller is played by Christopher Meloni, not Bobby Cannavale

Ok, let's try again.  On The Sopranos, Mafia boss Jackie Aprile tries to get his son Jackie Aprile, Jr. (Bobby Cannavale) interested in the family business, but the boy would rather go to college.  He gradually drifts into crime with his gay-subtext buddy Dino, and...wait -- according to the Sopranos wiki, Jackie Jr. is played by Jason Cerbone, not Bobby Cannavale. 

So who the heck is Bobby Cannavale?

He has 124 acting credits on the IMDB, including regular roles on Nurse Jackie, Boardwalk Empire, Vinyl, Will and Grace, Angie Tribeca, Mr. Robot, Homecoming, Nine Perfect Strangers. and The Watcher. 

I've only seen him as Will's boyfriend on Will and Grace.  But apparently I mistook a lot of other actors for him.  I was going to write about his many gay characters, but I'm not familiar with any but Will's boyfriend.  Let's just skip to the dicks.

In Boardwalk Empire (2010), Bobby plays Gyp Rossetti, a Sicilian gangster who gets naked while killing a woman. 
He shows his butt in Win Win, a "sports comedy"

In Bupkis, a comedy series about the life of Pete Davidson, Bobby shows what is probably a prosthetic.

Bobby's son Jake has 16 acting credits on the IMDB, including a recurring role on Nurse Jackie.  He has been cast as gay ball player Aaron Hernandez in the upcoming American Sports Story.  

The Bobby and Jake frontal and rear pics are on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

See also:

Johnnie Gordon: Black Mafia, Wicked Lips, Terror Lake, and Chick Fil-A.  With bonus Black Mafia d*cks

Kelton's Cute/Cool Photos, Part 1: chanting, wrestling, growing a beard, and going blond.  With a James Dumont bonus

Kelton's Cute/Cool Photos, Part 2: James Dean, Orson Welles, and Bam-Bam Rubble.  Plus more Daddy James

"Too Much": Jess moves to London expecting Jane Austen, and gets Will Sharpe. With bonus Gaz d*ck and Sharpe backside

  

Link to the n*de dudes

A show just dropped on Netflix with one of those instantly forgettable names -- Too Much -- but it sounds like a comedy, a welcome change of pace from those endless "after his wife dies, a detective tries to find a murderer"; "a detective solves murders in Chelsea"; and "a cleaning lady helps the police solve murders."  The icon shows a femme boy standing behind two women, so there must be gay content.  

Episode 1: "Nonsense and Sensibility"  Jane Austin reference, har har

Scene 1: Establishing shot of London. The woman  crosses Tower Bridge, telling someone named Wendy about the many women she could become here: Catherine from Wuthering Heights; Marianne from Sense and Sensibility; one of the prostitutes killed by Jack the Ripper; a detective solving murders in Chelsea. 

She goes back to her apartment to check Wendy's Instagram.  Oh no, a POV of her getting engaged to her boyfriend!  The woman sobs "No, no, no!" and screams "F*ck."  Wendy must be your ex-girlfriend.  Not over her yet?  

Brooklyn, one month earlier; The woman gets out of her cab late at night and heads to her ex's apartment, but the locks have been changed. So she breaks in. She finds a man and a woman in bed asleep and screams. Wait -- you didn't know they were there? The man yells "Home invasion!", then recognizes her: Jessica. Nice chest, buddy.

The man is her ex, Zev Goldstein (Michael Zegen) and Wendy is his new girlfriend.  Heterosexual identity established at minute 3.40, but that was a clever queerbait.  Wendy is tired of Jessica stalking, and warns that she's crossed a line.  Ex boyfriend starts crying. Why, was it an abusive relationship?  Were you a victim?  We don't pay much attention to male victims of domestic abuse. 

Jessica continues to rant: "Leaving me is the worst thing you have ever done!"  Looks pretty smart from here; lady is unstable. 

They threaten  to call the police, so she breaks a lamp and runs out.  

Scene 2: After Wendy "stole" Boyfriend Zev , Jessica was forced to move into "an intergenerational hell," her mom, grandma (Rhea Pearlman!), and sister, all of whom married goys, so of course the marriages couldn't last (let's see the goy boys already).  New York Jewish household: plastic on the furniture, a costume romcom starring Alan Rickman on tv.  Jessica says: "I want to take him out back and have him (censored)" 

Grandma thinks Jessica should work on being prettier and try to win Zev back.  "No, you do it.  Go (censored)."  I volunteer for the job.  

A child with no identifiable gender, maybe nonbinary, says that at age 13, they're not expected to have any plans for Saturday night, but adults should be out having a life.  Why are you such losers?  The ladies kick them out.

They may be Dash South, played by Oliver Nirenberg, who has no other acting credits on the IMDB.

While watching tv, Jessica dreams of Regency England -- the costumes, the drama, the romance.  The madwoman in the attic?

Scene 3: Jessica at her job, doing some sort of low-level production assistant stuff for a movie starring Jessica Alba.  She complains about the script, but director Jeff dismisses her (the name does not appear in the cast list)  

Jessica defends her: "You made a lot of changes in the script that she couldn't see until now."  He storms off.

Director Jeff may be Barry, played by Erez Rose, seen here with his boyfriend in Cambodia (well, to be closeted, he just refers to the guy as "my best friend" and "my favorite person in the world).

But if he's Barry, why do Jessica and Jessica call him Jeff?  For that matter, why name the character Jessica when a main character is Jessica Alba playing herself?  Didn't anyone think that might be a tad confusing?

The ladies buddy-bond.  Jessica suggest that they fire Jeff, and then she and Jessica can shoot it together.  Jessica is so overwhelmed by Jessica's offer that she runs away. See what I mean?

Her coworker finds her in the bathroom "gnawing on a Danish and trying to pull your hair out." 

When he mentions that he is her brother-in-law, she strikes back: "Ex brother in law. You left my sister to explore non monogamy with a couple that are both named... [disgusted expression] Cody."  Ooh, Jess definitely disapproves of gay/bi people!  

Brother in law may be Jameson South, played by Andrew Rannells, top photo.  He's gay in real life, although he's being intimate with a woman in the photo on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.

"You used to slay!" he points out.  "And now you're matte!  What happened?"

"I had a terrible year.  You dumped my sister, my boyfriend dumped me, and we both moved in with our mother, who lost the house, so we all moved in with my grandmother."

He suggests a job producing a Christmas ad in London.

"Nope, I can't leave.  I love New York."  But what about the build-up of loving Regency England?

So she goes.  And she takes Astrid, a very ugly dog.

More after the break