Operation Taco Gary's: A gay video star, Keefe, the "American Pie" guy, the d*ck that got censored, tacos, and aliens. And everybody's gay.

  

Link to the n*de dudes

Tony Cavalero (yes, I still follow his Instagram) announced that Operation Taco Gary's, which he completed in 2023, has finally found a broadcast home, on Amazon Prime. I've been waiting for this for awhile, so here goes:

Scene 1: As the radio announces the death of actor Jason Biggs (best known for the American Pie franchise), a guy runs through the woods in his underwear, holding a book or a box.  He yells "F*k you, Biggs!"

Flashback to the child Underwear Guy and his buddy or brother trying to destroy their neighborhood.  As an old fat guy sunbathes in s Speedo, Child Underwear Guy accidentally pushes his buddy into a wall, knocking him out. He runs away, past a sign saying "Moving sale. Please buy my stuff." 

Scene 2: In a run-down house, a guy is lying on the bed, despondent, while his roommate or boyfriend, Luke (Dustin Milligan), sells off their stuff. They're moving to Ottawa. Wait -- the moving sale is in the present. What about the kids?  They weren't Underwear Guy and his buddy?

Someone asks about a painting of the Pope eating dinner with Big Foot.  "It's not mine.  I'm basically Jewish."

"That's not true," a voice calls from another room.  "I've seen his p*nis."  (Censored description).   

It's Underwear Guy, Luke's long-lost brother!  He's a conspiracy theorist who lives off the grid, and he brought the painting because the Catholic Church is supressing evidence of Bigfoot.

They discuss Luke's move to Canada.  "You got a girlfriend  up there?"

"No.  I wish." Heterosexual identity established at Minute 7.  "I'm a new paleontology researcher. I start on Monday."

Underwear Guy guilts his way into an invitation to come along.  Who was the roommate despondent over Luke leaving?  Maybe a random person trying out the bed?  A little confusing, director!.

Scene 3: Driving to Canada on narrow country roads through the woods.  On the radio: "Jason Biggs' death has been ruled a homicide"  Underwear Guy looks suspicious.

Left: Research reveals that Underwear Guy is played by Simon Rex, unrecognizeable from his early days in gay-ish videos.

They stop at Taco Gary's for lunch.  Undewear Guy claims that his days of scamming the Portuguese mafia out of Taiwanese ketamine are over.  He just wants to be a good brother.

Cut to the police breaking into Luke's empty house.  They find a Taco Gary's wrapper and conclude that Luke is now helping Underwear Guy. 

Scene 4: An ugly guy with a physique that's um...well, I'm sure he has a nice c*ck.  He awakens, brushes his teeth, and heads to the dentist office to protest the practice of putting microchips in our teeth.   

Getting gas nearby, Luke and Underwear Guy see him. So he's going to join the team?

Uh-oh, Underwear Guy sees a car, rushes over, and accosts the old lady driving with a hunting knife. He shows her a taco, and refers to the "TG Truce of '21."  She doesn't know what he's talking about.  "Sorry, I mistook you for a member of the Coalition."

While he's gone, Luke checks his backpack and finds that his brother is not taking is meds.

Scene 5: They zoom off.  Hey, what about the ugly guy with the sign?  You spent so much time showing him getting dressed, I thought he would be a major character.  

Luke confronts Underwear Guy for not taking his meds, destroying his cell phone, and attacking the old lady.   He can't accommodate his brother's craziness anymore, and orders him out of the car.  But Underwear Guy gives him an injection that knocks him out, and drags him into the woods.

Scene 6: He awakens at night, by a campfire, remembers what happened, and tries to run away, but Underwear Guy injects him again.  And a third time. Just tie him up, dude.

Underwear Guy explains: he needs Luke's identity to sneak into Canada.  He's already stolen Luke's passport, wallet, and car keys, so he can't say no. "You'll get them back when we cross the border, and you'll still be in Ottawa in time for your new job."  How are both of them going to get into Canada with the same passport?

He gives Luke a high-tech, alien-made homing device to use instead of a government-hacked cell phone.

"This is a Rubik's Cube painted black."

Uh-oh, the cops have found their car!  Underwear Guy yells "We are armed and extremely dangerous!"  They approach with guns pulled.  Run!

They run. Luke and the two cops all hurt their ankles on the same log (not funny, painful to watch). 

They stumble across a white-haired guy camping, and by taking off his pants, Underwear Guy convinces him to give them a ride. So he liked your underwear?  

"By the way, I've kidnapped my brother, and I'm forcing him to help me against his will."

"No problem," White-Haired Guy says, no doubt thinking that they both must have big d*cks.

Scene 7: They stop at a gym and ride the mechanical bull while waiting for a badger (someone who helps you illegally cross the border).  She descends the stairs in slow motion while Luke gapes in Girl of My Dreams squishiness. I was wondering when he would meet The Girl.

She actually works at the gym, at the smoothie bar.  While they are talking, Underwear Guy tells Luke, "I know that look. You're attracted to her, aren't you?"  Hey, that will ruin his chances with The Girl.

Turns out that she's not really a badger.   But she has nothing else to do today, and Underwear Guy always has "crazy, fun" ideas, so why not?

More after the break

Zak Ford Williams: "Better," "Battery," "Bridgerton," and the British Stonewall: all gay roles all the time. With a lot of c*cks.

   

Link to the n*de photos

Awhile ago I profiled Ruben Reuter, the "short guy with a d*ck" who starred in the Channel 4 Britcom Pushers.  In 2023 he appeared in the short Mobility,  about three high school students with different disabilities riding the same bus every day.  

I decided to check out his co-stars -- maybe the others were gay, too -- and found the extremely attractive Zak Ford-Williams. 

Zak was born in Ramsbottom, about 15 miles from Manchester, in 1999.  Growing up, he was deeply involved in the theater, joining Summerseat Players and the Manchester Royal Exchange Young Players.  He took his secondary school at the London Academy of Music and Dramatic Arts and university at the Manchester School of Theatre (B.A., 2020).

His first on-screen role was in a 2021 episode of Wolfe, with Babou Ceesay as a university professor/ murder investigator.  The team finds evidence of a ritual killing in a "giant fatberg" in Manchester's sewers ( a fatberg is a giant blockage).  Zak's character offers to guide them into the sewer, and then attacks.

Next Zak had a recurring role in Better (2023), about a corrupt police detective striving to "do better."  Her son Owen (Zak), disabled after a bout of meningitis,  starts a relationship with the Crime Lord's son Donal (Ceallach Spellman, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

The short Battery (2023) is set during a lockdown that has turned London into a post-Apocalyptic nightmare.  A boy with cerebral palsy (Zak), forbidden to leave the flat because "it's not safe," sneaks out and braves the mean streets to reunite with his boyfriend (Nadeen Islam, who performs stand-up as "the only brown deaf gay man in England")  It was repeated in the anthology movie 4Love (2023).  

Next came an episode of the long-running  Midsommer Murders.  He plays Ludo Trask, a teenager obsessed with a book supposedly containing clues to a treasure -- and its author, who ends up murdered.  Spoiler alert: he didn't do it.  No heterosexual interest mentioned.

Two episodes of the historical soap opera Bridgerton, as the snarky gossip-girl Lord Remington (dig the old-timey wheelchair).  He hangs out with Penelope (left), but does not express any romantic interest in her.

And she is is busy courting Colin Bridgerton (Luke Newton, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) and Alfred Debling (Sam Phillips).

If you're keeping score, that's five roles, two canonically gay, one gay vague, and two queer coded through lack of expressed heterosexual interest.

More after the break. 

Ten n*de and nearly n*de photos of the "Santa Clause" Elf, David Krumholtz. With bonus Rob Morrow and Jason Biggs

 I had a full profile of David Krumholtz, but it vanished.  Fortunately, I still had a lot of photos of the cute short guy, including his c*ck and backside.

Link to the n*de photos

1. His most icon role, Bernard the sardonic Elf in The Santa Clause (1993).

2. David singing in his underwear.

Bonus: Jason Biggs trying to hide his c*ck behind a glass pan lid (on RG Beefcake and Bonding).

3. Shirtless.

4. With Wednesday Addams

5. His backside

More after the break

Beef, Season 2: Reggie Mantle and his lady fight Poe Dameron and his wife. With Reggie's d*ck, Poe n*de, and heteronormative erasure

Link to the n*de dudes

Beef Season 1 (2023), on Netflix, featured a road rage incident that spins out of control, plus the cute Steven Yeun in a gay subtext romance with Young Manzino. Hopefully Season 2 (2026) has more beefcake and buddy-bonding, or maybe even a canonical gay guy. 

Scene 1: A Male Caterer hands a tray of drinks to a Female Caterer, and kisses her.  Ugh!  That's inappropriate in the workplace. Strike 1. 

She serves a bottle of beer to an older man, who hugs a woman and kisses the top of her head.  Strike 2. 

 They walk toward the outdoor gathering, where an Old Guy thanks his Beautiful, Talented Wife for organizing everything.  They smooch -- for a long, long, long time.  Everyone applauds.  Strike 3.

How annoyingly heteronormative!  I'm only going to continue because of the Male Caterer -- not listed on the IMDB, but Wikipedia calls him Austin, played by Charles Melton, Reggie on Riverdale. (c*ck on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends). 

After the presentation, the Old Guy and his Beautiful, Talented Wife walk through the crowd, being congratulated by everyone.  

A guy in a limousine, who may be William Fitchner (backside on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends), invites Old Guy to Vegas with The Boys.  A boys only weekend? Tell me more.

Then the two get into their car,  growl at each other, and drive away. 

Beautiful, Talented Wife is upset because the Old Guy, Josh, accepted a date with Troy on her birthday.  He promises to cancel, but the forgetting is the main problem.  

Scene 2: The Male Caterer demonstrates his bicep to the Female Caterer before they're called away to clean up. The new owner of the country club is coming tomorrow, all the way from Korea, so everything has to be spotless. I think they're employes of the country club, but I'm still going to call them the Caterer and her Boyfriend.

They ignore their chores to sit in the tennis court and smooch for a long, long, long time.  Suddenly they're interrupted by yelling.  They look up to see Old Guy Josh and his Beautiful, Talented Wife, now at home, with some new topics of argument: why does he never install the herb garden she wants, and why isn't he as unhappy as she is?  Wait -- is Old Guy/Beautiful Wife's apartment directly above the tennis courts?  But they were driving away!  

In other news, Old Guy Josh promised to build them a bed-and-breakfast, but after six years it's only halfway done.  So he goes outside to scatter the mulch right now!  She follows to continue the argument.  He squandered her inheritance, she's a drunk, they haven't done bedroom stuff in a year, and so on...

Scene 3: Discussing how much they love each other, the Caterer Couple drive to Old Guy/Beautiful Wife's house.  But if they live far away from the country club, how was the Caterer Couple interrupted by their argument? 

They almost run into an additional Old Guy as he pulls out of his driveway.  

Is there going to be a second road rage incident? 

Nope, it was just a tease.  The Caterer Couple arrive at the house, discuss how much they love each other again, kiss extensively (fast forward time...)

Inside, Old Guy Josh (Oscar Isaac, Poe on Star Wars) asks his Beautiful Wife if she would prefer him to go back to the way he was before they married. "S*xual deviant or celibate?  Not much of a choice." So, what was his deviance?  Was he gay?  They discuss how much they hate each other.

It seems that Caterer and Boyfriend have come to return Old Guy's wallet, which he lost on the tennis court.  How did a wallet interrupt them?

They hear screaming and approach the house, camera on.  Old Guy Josh and his Beautiful Wife are now throwing things  and wrecking each others' prized possessions.  He is about to attack her with a golf club, when they see the Caterer Couple watching -- and filming -- them.  Old Guy: "Sh*t!"

Scene 4: On the way home, the Caterer Couple discuss how much they love each other, and then what they should do about the domestic abuse incident. Caterer: " I love you so much...they come to the country club every day.! We shouldn't get involved."  

Boyfriend: "I love you so much...whatever you want is fine with me, as I have no agency of my own.   Want to kiss for five minutes at this stop sign?" 

At home, Old Guy Josh and Wife discuss what they should do about the situation.

Old Guy: "I hate you so much...We don't need to do anything. It was just an employee dropping off my lost wallet."

Wife: "I hate you so much.  I think you should threaten to fire them if they talk. Want to fight some more?  There's some stuff in the other room that we haven't thrown at each other yet."

Phone call!  It's the new owner of the country club, speaking through a translator, asking if everything is ready for her arival tomorrow.

More after the break