Link to the n*de dudes
Scene 1: A young woman awakens in her luxury apartment, vigorously scrubs herself while growling, and sits at the kitchen table with her laptop , looking angry. Her roommate Connor (Keen Ruffalo) is in love again. Could he be gay? Nope, "what's her name?"
She's stressed out because she's waiting to see if she got into the summer program at Wharton, the most prestigious business school in the world. So you're a high schooler, and the dude is your brother? I had you figured as a grown up.
"Forget college. It's the summer before your senior year. Spend it going buck wild."
Dad Steven pops in with bagels, and asks about Wharton. She gets word: "No. My dreams are shattered. It's the end of the life I've been imagining for myself." Couldn't you, like, get into a good college even without the program? On TV they're always getting into Harvard.
We finally get the girl's name: Annie.
"Now you can have fun this summer," Brother Connor says. "Why don't you go to Thailand with your 100% straight heterosexual boyfriend?"
"I can't break up with him until he's ready to come out." It's 2026. Nobody comes out. Parents just say "Someday you'll meet the man or woman of your dreams."
Scene 2: Establishing shots of New York, and then Annie's Glee-era gay-stereotype boyfriend Oliver (Luke Avoleda) asks if she wants to watch Cynthia Erivo sing "Edelweiss" at the Kennedy Center. You're super-femme, you live in New York, and you're not out? Girl, everyone has known since you were in kindergarten.
"What am I going to do all summer, now that all of my dreams have been crushed?" Annie asks.
"I don't know. Go on anti-depressants?"
She suggests going to Thailand with him, but he doesn't like that idea. No getting his gay on with a beard hanging around.
Annie tries to get him to come out, yet again, when Brother Connor bursts into the room: "Grandpa died -- but not the one we like. Gordon, Mom's Dad, the one who was shady as f*ck, and everybody hated him, so Mom and Dad cut him out of their life, and we've never met."
Scene 3: Meeting with the lawyer. Grandpa Gordon left Dad nothing. The kids get a trust, which they can access when they turn 18, and property in Canada. He also left them letters, but Dad snatches them up and won't let the kids read them. Weird family history.
Left: A professor from Toronto and his hookup, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.
Cut to Annie trying to sleep. She looks at a photo of their Mom, who died when she was little (of course). Why did she hate Grandpa? Why is Dad so secretive?
In the morning, she breaks into Dad's safe (never make your birthday your password), and finds dozens of letters -- Grandpa was writing to them all along.
The one that came with his will: "I'm sorry I didn't fight harder to see you. I shouldn't have agreed to the plan. I hope Sterling Point will reveal the truth. Find her." Obfuscation for its own sake. Any normal person would reveal who she is.
Downstairs, Brother Connor is being fed and smooched by his girlfriend. Gross -- I hate adults feeding each other, like they were babies. She reveals the new intel. "We have to go to Canada and investigate!"
"What for? We're adopted, so he's not even our biological grandfather."
"Ok, I'll go by myself, but cover for me. Tell Dad I went to Thailand." So Connor and the gay boyfriend won't be back?
Scene 4: On the plane, Annie pops an Ambien and asks for a blanket and a pillow, not realizing that the flight to Toronto is only 45 minutes long. Didn't she look at a map?
At the airport, drowzy, she meets Ellis (Jacob Whiteduck-Lavoie), who will be flying her to Muskoka, the island her grandpa owned. He's the one in the Heated Rivalry romance. She's afraid of the seaplane but the only other way to get there is by car, and it would take forever (the real Muskoka Lakes are just 2 1/2 hours from Toronto).
Scene 5: Establishing shots of Muskoka Island. Ellis notes that Grandpa Gordon, who owned the whole island, said that he would never rent this house, so it's weird to see Annie moving in. Isn't she the new owner?
Next question: Nope, no stores on the island, so you have to take a boat to the mainland to get groceries. You could have stocked up before leaving Toronto.
Inside, the place is a mess. Annie finds her mom's old room, and...a squatter! Nope, just squirrels bringing nuts in to store.
Next stop: The Marina, where she has to rent a boat to get to the mainland. She asks Joe the Boat Shop Guy (Negan from The Walking Dead) if he knew Gordon who owned the island. "Yes. He was great. Everybody loved him."
"Did he have...um...family around? A daughter maybe?" Terrible sleuthing, girl.
Problem: She doesn't have a driver's license (many New Yorkers don't bother, because why would you ever drive in the City? It takes five times as long as walking). Or a boater's license. So she can't rent a boat, but his son will give her a lesson. How will that help? She needs groceries now, and it will take a lot of lessons to get her license.
Wait -- the son isn't around, so the teenage Oona offers to teach her. "Oona -- beautiful name for a beautiful girl!" Sounds like we got some lesbian representation. But Annie is straight. Or was that why she was happy with a boyfriend who didn't want to do bedroom stuff -- she's not into guy parts.
"But you're a terrible boat driver!"
"No, I'm not. I can handle her," she counters, gazing at Annie. I'll bet you can...
The lesson begins. "You handle the tiller -- this thing that looks like a d*ck -- just like a (censored), except twist more." Are you sure you're a lesbian, Oona?
She tries it, but they start spinning in circles, and she doesn't know how to stop. Let go?
More after the break
