May 30, 2026

"Under the Banner of Heaven": Murder and a crisis of faith in a fundamentalist Mormon family with five brothers (and five d*cks)


 Under the Banner of Heaven, a Hulu series about corruption in the LDS Church, was written and produced by Dustin Lance Black, who is gay, so there's bound to be some gay characters or subtexts.  Besides, who isn't interested in cute Mormon missionaries?  

Link to NSFW version

Scene 1: Establishing shot of Salt Lake City.  Jeb (Andrew Garfield), a super clean-cut nuclear family Dad, is listening to "Let's Hear it for the Boy."  A gay anthem!  So the protagonist is gay?   His preteen daughters, who wear long pioneer dresses, ask him to do loving-father activities, like lasso them.  Wife, who wears a modern t-shirt and cut-off jeans, calls him to the phone.  He has to go to work, so everyone has to do the evening prayers early.

We hear all the prayers: for the Mormon missionaries (how about a visual?), for Church President Kimball, for Grandpa in heaven, and for an Easy-Bake Oven.  "Let's Hear it for the Boy" came out in 1982, and Spencer Kimball died in 1985, 

Scene 2: Continuing to pray, Jeb the Cop puts the siren on his car and heads to a house surrounded by yellow tape and police cars.  Inside: the tv on, bloody footprints, scattered toys, a dead lady, and something in a basinet that makes him say "Evil."  The dead lady's murder was not evil?    He goes out to the yard and arrests the bloody young man who happens to be walking around.


Scene 3: 
At the police station, Jeb the Cop and his Gentile (Non-Mormon) Partner do the good cop-bad cop routine on the blood-splattered suspect, Allen Lafferty (Billy Howle), who happens to belong to one of the most important familiies of the Church.  He claims that for the last year, "peculiar men" dressed like Mormon prophets have been stalking his family, so no doubt they did it.  They are probably after his brothers and their wives and kids, too.

Scene 4: While they book and strip Allen (nice body), Jeb watches, flashing back to someone he saw at church (was this a flash of same-sex attraction?).  They send a squad car out to check on the only brother whose address Allen knows: the others all moved to hide from the humiliation of having a brother who left the Church.


Scene 5:
Jeb is too disgusted to continue the interrogation, so his Gentile Partner continues alone.  Stunt casting: he's played by Gil Birmingham, a bodybuilder who appeared in Diana Ross's music video "Muscles" in 1982.

Allen: if you want to know who did, check out the Mormon saints.  

Flashback to his future wife Brenda winning runner-up in the Miss Twin Falls, Idaho contest in 1980, then going to Brigham Young University, to stay away from the "Democrats and crazies," and studying broadcast journalism.  She meets Allen at church.  

Back at the interrogation, Allen blames the Church on his wife's death: "My only regret is that I didn't drive her out of Zion (Salt Lake City) to protect her from our people."  

Scene 6:  Jeb the Cop continues to ruminate about how evil Allen is, to do that to a baby (and an adult?).  They're still having trouble tracking down the addresses of his brothers and their wives/kids, so Jeb calls his wife -- they went to church with the Lafferty family, so maybe she has some of the brothers' addresses.  

He returns to the interrogation: Jeb: "So, you despicable monster, was there anyone besides you who hated Brenda enough to do it?"  Allen:  Everyone hated her because she was so perfect."  Yeah, I heard that a lot in high school.


Scene 7: Flashback to Allen introducing Brenda to the family at a picnic. "Just don't say much," he warns. Patriarch Ammon (Christopher Heyerdahl, left) wants to know why she abandoned Twin Falls, Idaho for the evil Big City (Provo, Utah?).  There are an endless number of boisterous brothers, Stepford wives, and staring kids to meet. 

I have beefcake and nude photos of most of the Lafferty men,  but I won't ask you to know all their names. We'll call them Oldest Brother, Second Brother, and Little Brother (although there are two more). 

Back at the interrogation, Allen tells them that Brenda was attracted to Second Brother because "everybody was attracted to Second Brother"  Even men?  His Oldest Brother was also into her, and flirted by condemning the use of coca-cola and promoting lawn-clipping juice instead.  She raises some eyebrows by having opinions (Allen: the LDS Church killed her because she wasn't subservient enoough.)

Back at the picnic, an old man appears, yelling  "They're coming for me."  Eventually we discover that the government is planning to take his land unless he clears it of rocks by Monday, so the Laffertys must help.  That's all?  I was expecting the Angel of Death. 


Scene 8: 
Flashback to the Laffertys starting the rock-clearing job.  "No one is allowed to pee until we're finished!"  Just the men work, of course; the women watch, pray, and serve lemonade.  Suddenly Brenda rushes out to help.  Everyone is aghast! 

When the job is over, the old guy prays while the men pee  (no cock shots, but use your imagination).

Patriarch Ammon announces that he's been called away to the mission field, and the Holy Spirit told him to leave his Oldest Brother (Wyatt Russell) in charge of the family business, with Little Brother as his assistant. Uh-oh, Second Brother is going to be upset.  

The Patriarch also orders Allen to "get your harlot" to be properly mousy, timid, and subdservient! 

Sceene 9:  Back at the interrogation, Allen says that after they were married, he cut off his family and left the Church, but he still misses some things about it, like the belief that "God is love."  Really?  So far the Church sounds terrible oppressive.

Flashback to Joseph Smith, the founder of the church, digging up the golden plates that he would translate into the Book of Mormon.  But here the revelation becomes heterosexual: God chose him as Prophet because he loved his girlfriend Emma so much.  I know the Mormons are all about being heterosexual, but that interpretation still seems way over-the-top heterosexist.

Meanwhile, the police get the address of Little Brother and break into his apartment: some burning books and papers, a gun chest emptied out.  "This is bigger than just a domestic."  Maybe he and his family were killed?  They put out an APB.

Scene 10:  Jeb's Gentile Partner decided to notify Brenda's parents of her death, angering Jeb, who wanted to do it.  They argue about who has the biggest cock.  Turns out to be Gentile Partner,  who has new intel: Brenda's father said that Allen was abusive.  Now who's the prime suspect?    Allen still denies everything: "My father-in-law hated me, just like Emma's father hated Joseph Smith.  It was the peculiar bearded men, I tell you!"

Later Jeb the Cop speculates that Allen may have killed his family in a Satanic ritual.  After all, he left the Church, and Gentiles are capable of anything.  This is in the mids of the Satanic panic, where they thought that thousands of kids were being abducted every week to be sacrificed or used in sex rituals.  Actually, less than a hundred kids are kidnapped by strangers every year, most for black market adoption.  

Scene 11:  Little Brother wasn't murdered: he's hiding at a cheap motel.  He runs away, and prays that God would smite his enemies, but they're not smitten, and he's arrested for the murder of his brother's family.

Scene 12: Gentile Partner suggests that, since Jeb went to church with these people, his wife and daughters may be at risk -- go home and check on them. Har-har, you really just think he's too close to the case to be objective. But he goes, and talks to his mother, who has dementia in a subplot. The end.

Beefcake:  Allen takes off his clothes twice.

Heterosexism:  Constant, of course.  What did you expect in a tv series about Mormons?

Gay Characters:  There are some flashes where it looks like Jeb is dancing with a guy and hugging a guy, but they come and go so fast that it's impossible to tell what's actually going on.  

Update: They're just a gay tease.  The only same-sex desire or practice in Utah appears in Episode 5, one of the brothers investigates a Mormon-like cult where they drink wine and practice plural marriage.  They try to get him involved in a bisexual orgy in the hot tube.  But after kissing the guy in charge, he decides that he's not into it and leaves.

My Grade:  Jeb is an extremely unpleasant character, rigid, imperious, demanding, and intolerant.  He's less worried about the murders than about the horror of Allen leaving the Church.  C.


See also: Billy Howle: A serious actor, crazy cute, with frequent n*de scenes. Do you need anything else? With bonus Tommy Knight d*ck

The Testament of Ann Lee: The origin of the Shakers, with a female Christ, energetic dancing, gay guys, and a lot of male n*dity

"After the Hunt": Pretentious philosophy professors have problems, with some p*nises and Will Price. With Andrew Garfield.

Jack Barlow: "Real Housewives" teen, Mormon missionary, hair-care guru, gay tease

"Merli": Catalan boy studies philosophy, gets with cougars, displays his backside


In college I took a class in "Modern Philosophy," assuming that the philosophy would be modern.  No, it's 18th century.  All I remember about it is: "Berkeley" is pronounced "Barkeley."  But the teaser to Merli, a Spanish teen drama about a philosophy student, shows a guy gawking at another guy's backside, so I'll give it a try.

Scene 1: Score!  Closeup of the backside of Pol (Carlos Cuevas) as he showers!  We see most of the rest of him, too, as he dresses while getting a plot dump: He and Dad have just moved into an apartment together, he's going to work instead of applying to Uni, and his friend Bruno has just lost his Dad. I thought this was a Spanish series, but I don't understand anything they're saying.

Bruno appears. More plot dump: Pol hooked up with Bruno once, but he's actually straight.  Bruno doesn't really believe him, but what can you do?

Scene 2: Pol runs into Dad and his new girlfriend, and decides that he should get on with his life, too.  He applies to Uni after all, in philosophy.


Scene 3: 
  First day of class at the amazingly ornate Universitat de Barcelona.  That explains the language: not Spanish, Catalan!    Pol has a meet-cute with Biel (Pere Valribera), who guides him to the wrong class: math, not philosophy.  Finally they find the correct class, Philosophical Issues, with a jaded, world-weary professor (world-weary after just 10 years on the job?  Get back to me after 30 years!).   They also take classes in the History of Culture (all Marxist) and Symbolic Logic (which sounds like gibberish), and meet a Just-Friends Girl.

Scene 4: In the library, they get all-tongue tied over the Girl of Their Dreams, Minerva.  Unfortunately, she already has a Rich Jerk boyfriend, Rai (actor not in the cast list).

Scene 5: Ethics Class with another world-weary philosophy prof.  She makes a bigoted joke to see if the students understand freedom of speech, and brings in a janitor to explain social inequality, and half the class walks out.    


Scene 6:
They all hang out after class.  Pol sees Bruno eating Rainbow Flag cake with his new LGBT friends.  Rich Jerk Rai (Pablo Capuz) stops by their table for a few minutes, then accidentally takes Pol's wallet!

Scene 7:  In a palatial mansion, a rich blond lady is giving a blow job to a chunky working-class guy.  Did I accidentally switch channels?  This doesn't seem to be the same series at all.  Someone rings the bell, so she sends working-class guy -- Henry -- to answer the door.  It's Pol, bringing Rich Jerk Rai's wallet.

Mom comes downstairs and flirts with Pol before Rich Jerk Rai appears -- in a swimsuit!

Scene 8:  They go up to Rai's room  -- erm, suite --  to exchange wallets.   Rai invites Pol to take a swim, but he refuses -- he has to work.  But he sticks around long enough to gawk at Rai's backside as he dives into the pool.

Scene 9: Just Friends Girl goes to visit Minerva, who has a flat in the Temple of Augustus. Imagine living in a museum, looking out your window at the crowds on tour.  We are introduced to roommates: Amy, a bubbly American, and Etin, a musician.  Then on to Minerva's room, where she admits that she has a crush on Rich Jerk Rai.   Wait -- I thought they were already dating?  

Scene 10: Rich Jerk Rai's Mom having cupcakes with her friends.  Rai comes in: Mom criticizes him for dropping out of Business to study...ugh...Philosophy.  "Now you have somewhere to vomit your existentialism about being different from everyone else."  So Rai is gay?

Nope: one of the friends excuses herself and goes to the bathroom to get with him with him. (No beefcake.)

Scene 11: Pol at his job. mopping the floor at a parking garage, when a middle-aged woman drives up: she needs help parking.  They do stuff.  Wow, two college boys doing stuff with cougars, one after the other.  I guess the director has a f*tish. 

Scene 12:  Back to class.  World-Weary Prof asks if it's ethical to discriminate against people because they are ugly.   Then she has pastries with her friend and complains that students used to enroll in her classes because she was beautiful; now she's ugly, and attendance has dropped off.  10 to 1 Pol starts dating her before the term is over. We already know that he's into older ladies.

Scene 13:  World Weary Prof meets her daughter, who appears to have Down's Syndrome.  They discuss her chances of becoming Chancellor -- nil.   Meanwhile Pol's Dad discusses moving in with his girlfriend, which makes Pol furiouos.  

Scene 14: The pool at the palatial mansion.  Rich Jerk Rai is pretending to be dead, but Mom isn't falling for his prank.  They argue: "I've spent years tolerating your eccentricities, and the calls from school about your bad attitude and stupidity."  "You should talk!"  And so on, while Henry watches.


Scene 15:
Pol and Bruno (David Solans) , his friend from Scene 1, talking over the recent events in Pol's life.  They flirt.  Bruno: "When you hook up with guys and girls, you're bi."  Pol: "It was one time, and there was a girl between us.  I only like girls. Besides, I'm not into labels." I've heard that one before.  It means: I'm into guys, but I don't want to suffer the discrimination that comes from being out as gay.  

He takes off his clothes and runs naked into the ocean (nice rear).  Bruno muses: "I'm going to get you, Pol.  In the end, all roads lead to Bruno."  He strips and runs naked into the ocean, too.  They frolick.   The end.

Beefcake: A lot of backsides, no lady parts (which is a good thing).

Other Sights: A lot of Barcelona.

Gay Characters: Bruno, the possibly bi Pol, and maybe Rai.

Heterosexism: Two cougar bedroom scenes.

Character Dump:  There are about 20 named characters in this episode, impossible to keep track of them all, or to decide which ones are connected. Especially the middle-aged blond women who want to do bedroom stuff with college boys.  The director definitely has a f*tish.


Merli:
 In the last scene, Pol says that he wants to get a scholarship, graduate, and become "a merli,"  so I assumed that Merli was a Catalan term for a kind of philosopher.  But Google Translate is not familiar with the term.

IMDB lists a tv series called Merli, about an inspiring high school philosophy teacher.  It has a Pol, but otherwise the characters are all different. This must be a sequel or a remake or something.  So they named a tv series after a character who doesn't appear and is only mentioned once? 

Plot Arc:  No paranormal, no secret society, no mystery of any sort.  What is this series about, Pol's  LGBTQ identity?

My Grade: C- for the plot, A for the beefcake.

See also: Off Campus: Hannah must choose between a hocky star with a nice backside and a bad boy with tats. Plus a gay bestie and fratboy c*cks

"After the Hunt": Pretentious philosophy professors have problems, with some penises and Will Price

Connor Newall: The Hottest Property in Fashion buddies with Alfie Williams, models in gay ads, plays gay guys, shows his....

The Red Band Society: Buddy-Bonding Teens in a Barcelona Hospital



May 29, 2026

Minute-by-minute research of Kue Lawrence: his gay codes, gay movie roles, and n*de co-stars. With a big reveal that changes everything

 


 

Link to the n*de dudes



5:00 am.  I begin my usual sweep of my n*de celebrity, teen idol, and Instagram feeds, looking for actors with gay codes for potential profiles. Kue Lawrence looks promising: no girl-hugging and lots of guy-hugging photos.  They just keep going.  Dude definitely prefers masculine company.  I download six, and prep them for posting.


5:15:  On to Kue's Instagram.  Many more guy-hugging photos (I download another five), mention of several movies, and no girls except someone named Jenna, who turns out to be his sister.  Here they are going to her senior prom together.  Weird.  What straight guy would do that?  Dude must be gay.

5:30:  Searching for Kue and "gay." I find articles saying that he played a gay character in Sneak Peek and Hell of a Summer, but they are both behind paywalls, and I find no evidence that movies with those titles exist.  Maybe are descriptions of movies, with the actual titles inaccessible. So I'll check Kue's acting roles on the IMDB. 





5:45: Marshmallow (2025).  Troubled teen Morgan (Kue) is sent to summer camp, where he is bullied by a boy (Sutton Johnston, right) and meets The Girl.  Kue notes that he and Sutton are friends off-camera. 

I check Sutton's Instagram: no gay codes.









There's also a monster (Pierson Fode, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).  Kue hugs him, too.











The School Duel (2024): A bullied boy (Kue) signs up for a program where kids are given rifles and permitted to kill each other without consequences.  It's an allegoryy on the school shooting epidemic.  Kue goes out to dinner with costar Rashaan Rondo and hugs Kalon Cox (left) and Hudson Meek (below).

I check their social media. Kalon has some gay codes. Rashaan (an adult) has d*ck pics.

More after the break

Sam Lerner: Is the "Goldbergs" star gay-teasing, coming out, or from a parallel world? With his tree-trunking d*ck and his boyfriend's backside?

  


Link to the n*de dudes


Sam was born into a show biz family.  His Dad and Uncle Michael have hundreds of acting credits, ranging from Laverne and Shirley to Barton Fink.  He expressed an interest in acting at age five, but his parents didn't think he was talented enough, not even when an agent friend offered to represent him, and the jobs started pouring in: episodes of Malcolm in the Middle, Two and a Half Men, Oliver Beane, and The King of Queens, and the movie Life with Men.

Tell me more about those men...



Finally, at his Bar Mitzvah, Sam took the stage and performed a comedy roast of his younger sister, and the parents relented.   Dad even offered to become Sam's acting coach.

Can I get an invitatiion too your J*zz Fest, buddy?  Spoiler alert: It ain't "jazz."

42 acting jobs followed.  Sam states that his best work is in:

Envy (2004): Stick-in-the-mud Tim (Ben Stiller, backside on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) becomes so envious of the success of his chaotic friend Nick (Jack Black) that his wife and son (Sam) leave him, and he harms a horse. It's a comedy.



Monster House
(2006): a sentient haunted house bedevils DJ (Mitchel Musso), Chowder (Sam), and The Girl of His Dreams.

Project Almanac (2015): A found-footage film about a high school student (Jonny Weston) who builds a time machine, along with his buddies (Allen Evangelista, Sam).  He wins The Girl of His Dreams.















Plus two tv comedies:

Suburgatory (2011-14): He appears in six episodes as Evan, a stereotypic nerd with an interest in chess, crossword puzzles, and Dungeons and Dragons, and a crush on cool girl Tessa. 

The Goldbergs (2014-23):  He appears in 175 episodes as Geoff, a stereotypic nerd who dates a variety of girls before settling down with the Girl of His Dreams.  Fun fact: Geoff's Dad is played by Sam's real-life Dad. Ken Lerner.

Looks like it's straight guys all the way down.  I don't even see any projects with gay characters played by other people.

Maybe there are some gay hints in the movies Sam has produced?

Drop (2025): A "widowed mother" goes out on her first date since her husband died, and things go terribly wrong. Brandon Sklenar plays her date-with-a-terrible-secret.

Sauna Dreams (2024).  A mockumentary about sauna athlete David Roffman (Ephraim Rimsky) on his way to the 2023 World Sauna Championships in Detroit. Were you expecting a gay sauna?  Me, too. 


Well, is Ephraim at least gay?  In 2018, he celebrates his second anniversary with this guy, and says "Mazel tov on five years." Which is it?  Maybe they've been together for five years, but only married for two?

 But in 2024, Ephraim tells us that he has moved in with his girlfriend. 

So, is he bi?  Was he just pretending to be married to this dude?  Or are they writng partners who didn't think there would be any confusion because gay men don't exist, and what else could they be?    

This may be relevant to Sam, as I check his social media.

Sam shows us his backside several times, often in a femme pose.  Maybe once or twice, you're just fooling around, but over and over, you are obviously signaling your interest in doing gay bedroom stuff  

He compliments Monster House co-star Mitchel Musso on his attractiveness.   That's usually the statement of a gay man.

Curioser and curioser. 


More after the break
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