Skyler Gisondo's Hot/H*ng Photos, Part 1: Birthdays, biceps, and a Viking Satyr. Plus Asa Butterfield

 
 Link to the n*de photos.

Skyler Gisondo is not my favorite actor.  Endless gay crumbs with no resolution as Gideon on The Righteous Gemstones, then deliberate queerbaiting as Jimmy Olsen on Superman.  But technically neither were his fault, he's cute, and up to 2025, his social media was overbrimming with gay teases, so let's look at some photos.   

 

1. 24th birthday, with cat, odd presents, and a bare chest.

2. That's how I play basketball, too.

3. When gay guys have a party, they usually don't play Monopoly.

4. Skyler starred in The Santa Clarita Diet as the boyfriend of the daughter of the zombified Sheila Hammond.  Thomas Novak, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends, played their high school principal. 

5.Skyler dressed as a Viking Satyr for a competition in Wet Hot American Summer.   If you don't like eating hot peppers, I have another suggestion.

6. A more realistic Viking-Satyr costume for you to consider. 

More genuine Gisondo after the break.

Davo Hardy: Australian filmmaker with a lot of gay roles and an adult video. And his boyfriend's. And his buddies' d*cks

Link to the n*de photos

This morning I started my usual circuit of entertainment and beefcake sites, when two gifs popped up on the celebrity d*ck subreddit: a middle aged man looking very proud of himself as does...you know.  Nice d*ck, but ruined by the prominent wedding ring.

Photo after the break. 

The blurb said that he was David Hardy, an Australian filmmaker. Actually it's Davo Hardy

According to Model Mayhe, he's primarily a life model, with ten years of experience "at some of the most prestigious fine arts colleges around Sydney."  He's 5'9", 176 pounds. 

His profile on the IMDB says that he's "an auteur of confronting and cerebral independent films," "exploring heavy subject matter with deep academic research."

I checked a few of them for gay content.

Boy Toy (2012): Andrew has a small d*ck, so he asks a urologist about enlargement surgery, with "hilarious results." 

Complex (2014): Two men share an apartment.  One is a nudist.  He specifies that they are heterosexual.

Aaron's Consent (2014): Not consent to gay activity. Aaron has cerebral palsy and profound deafness, and wants a heterosexual relationship.

A Silent Agreement (2017): A stammering writer (Davo) and his profoundly deaf partner (Joshua Seeley).  They are a gay couple, not writing partners. The first film to showcase Auslan, Australian Sign Language.  

Desire/Ability (2023): A man with multiple disabilities (Matthew Archibald, top photo) discusses s*xuality and romance. The trailer shows him with his boyfriend (David Charlie).

The you-know-what scene is from Public Eye (2021): "Children's entertainer Elliot (Davo) falls from grace when his NSFW content circulates online."  There's  no synopsis available, but the trailer shows people being interviewed (it was filmed during the COVID lockdown).  There are also clips of n*de activity, mostly with actors who have appeared in several of Davo's films:

More after the break

"Weapons": Mysterious disappearances, a positive gay couple, a scary clown lady, a femme boy, and a lot of n*de dudes. What's not to like?

Link to the n*de photos

Weapons (2025), on MAX: in the stereotypic small town of Maybrook, Pennsylvania, 17 of the 18 children in a third grade class disappear from their beds at exactly 2:17 am.  Security cams show them sneaking out of their houses and running into the woods, with their arms out like they're pretending to fly.  

I thought this was going to be a mysterious disappearance with no solution movie, like Picnic at Hanging Rock, but there is a solution: we find out what happened to the kids at the end.  Before that, we see the effects of the tragedy on five people:

Justine

The teacher, Justine (Julia Garner), and the surviving kid, Alex (Cary Christopher), are interrogated, and their houses searched, with no clues.  They had no idea that it -- whatever it was -- was going to happen.

A month later, still with no clues, Justine speaks to the parents at a memorial assembly.  She swears that she  doesn't know what happened, but they don't believe her. "You did something to our kids!" the parents yell.

It doesn't help that she's an alcoholic who picks up booze every day on the way home, she picks up strange men in bars (well, to be fair, I do that, too), and she was fired from her last job for inappropriate behavior with a child.  Principal Marcus (Benedict Wong) decides that it would be best for her to take a leave of absence.

One of her hookups is the Cop Paul (Alden Ehrenreich), who is trying to get clean and sober and stop cheating on his wife, but she gets him drunk and takes him home (no beefcake).

The principal has forbidden her from contacting the traumatized surviving kid, but she starts staking out his house.  Weird -- the windows are covered with newspaper, and when she snoops inside, she sees his parents sitting on the couch, motionless, like zombies,  Alex yells for her to go away, but she continues the stake out.  She falls asleep in her car, and a lady in scary clown makeup bursts in and cuts off a lock of her hair.

Archer

Construction worker Archer (Josh Brolin, left, backside on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) is sleeping in his missing kid's room and mourning their loss (I thought it was a girl due to their long hair and femme features, but it turns out to be a boy, Matthew).  His wife insists that he go to work, so he heads to the house he's building.  The construction crew is having problems: no sodding, and the door is painted the wrong color, darn it!  One expects him to start yelling, but he quietly puts the red paint in the back of his truck to exchange later.

Next stop, the police station, where the Chief says they have no more leads, so stop coming in every day.  

He checks the security cam footage of his child leaving, and notices that he's moving in the direction of the radio tower.  Maybe it sent a signal?  He asks the other parents for security cam footage of their kids, but doesn't get very far.

Then he sees Justine at the gas station/liquor store, and decides to ask her some questions.  But while they are talking, Principal Marcus comes rushing up, his arms spread as if he is flying, his eyes all white, and attacks her!  Archer tries to help, but the guy is incoherent, like a zombie.

Paul

Cop Paul happens to be the son-in-law of the Police Chief (Toby Huss) -- and he didn't get the job because of his qualifications.  They discuss how his wife is coming back early from her trip, and then he goes to work.

The long-haired, scuzzy-looking James is jaywalking -- better stop him!  He runs, so Cop Paul gives chase.  He finally catches the guy, handcuffs him, and starts searching his pockets -- uh-oh, a needle prick!  He's so outraged that he pummels James-- with the dashcam recording everything. 

When James regains consciousness, Paul lets him go -- but don't come anywhere near the police station, or report the assault, or you're dead!  

Back at the station, Paul asks his Police Chief father-in-law what to do.  He suggests getting checked for HIV, and forgetting about the video.  In 30 days it will vanish, so as long as James doesn't report, he's clear. 

James

Crack addict James (Austin Abrams. top photo, the one with the curly hair) calls everyone he can think of to beg for money, but they've all had enough.  He steals some things to pawn, but the pawn broker won't give him enough.  He breaks into Survivor Alex's house, and finds his parents, sitting like zombies.  Thinking "they must be high," he tries the basement, and finds the missing kids, standing still, lifeless, like zombies. 

There's a $50,000 reward for finding them!  He calls the police and asks about the reward, but they want him to come to the police station.

As he approaches, Paul sees him, gives chase, and attacks.  "But I know where the kids are!" he exclaims.

Paul drives him to the house, and leaves him locked in the police car while he goes inside.  Hours later, he returns, his movements shaky, his eyes white, and drags James in with him.

More after the break. 

Banksters: Nonbinary actor plays a probably-gay Turkish-German teenage bank robber. It's not a comedy. With some co-star d*cks.

 

Link to the n*de dudes

I misread the MAX series Banksters (2025) as Banksies, devotees of the gay-positive street artist Banksy.  It's actually "based on a true story" about teenage bank robbers.  But it stars the nonbinary actor Eren M. Güvercin, who played gay characters in Druck (2018) and Eldorado: Everything the Nazis Hate (2023), so he's certainly playing a gay guy here.

Scene 1: Berlin, 2004.  A group of teenagers trade something off.  It finally gets to Yusuf (Eren) who joins his friend in a car.  Suddenly red dust explodes.

Cut to Yusuf and his little brother (Momo Ramadan, left) doing sit-ups before breakfast.  Brother retrieves a lot of cash from his various toys.  Yusuf puts it in his trunk and drives through Berlin, while listening to news stories about a series of bank robberies.

Momo, not to be confused with the Egyptian singer, looks much older than his character, and gives off a gay vibe.

He visits Baba, probably his father (Numan Acar), in a building being constructed.  Baba is delighted: "I kiss your eyes!"  But when Yusuf tries to give him some cash, he refuses, and advises, "I want you to stop this day trading."

Google AI: Day trading is the buying and selling of securities, such as stocks or options, within the same trading day to profit from small, short-term price movements. 

Scene 2:  An evening soccer game.  Suddenly a Detective arrives, plus a lot of cops in riot gear.  Continuity error: suddenly it's raining.  They wait for Yusuf to make the winning goal, and then arrest him for the bank robberies.

Scene 3: 18 months before the arrest.  Yusuf looks at a bill for 8,100 euros, draws the money out of his bank account, and pays it.  "And pretend that it comes from my father's account: Mohammed Arslan."

The bank clerk finds this suspicious, and calls for the manager to do some research.  Turns out that Dad the 8,100 € is just for the taxes on the real amount due,120,000€!   Couldn't Yusuf still pay for some of it?  Or set up a payment plan?

Scene 4: While Dad is cooking dinner, Yusuf calls his sister into his room, and gives her the dets: Dad has already declared bankruptcy.  Then he was talked into getting a loan, and can't pay it back, and now it's all due!  Yusuf already spent all of his savings on the taxes.

They start to tell Mom, but she rushes right into the kitchen and starts groping and fondling Dad, so they change their minds.

Scene 5: In the present, Yusuf is interrogated by the arresting Detective, who does the Bad Cop routine: "You think you're tough?  You think you're smart?"  

The IMDB only lists three cast members, Eren (Yusuf), Numan (Dad), and Merlin Von Garnier (Malte, not introduced yet). Other sites list Momo Ramadan (the Little Brother), Andreas Pietschmann,  Omid Memar, Michelangelo Fortalezzi, and David Bredin (n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).  I don't know which plays the Detective. 

Yusuf he calls his sister and tells her to retrieve an envelope taped underneath his desk.  It contains a business card: "Call her -- it's my lawyer, Dr. Julia Rieger."  Why would you go through the trouble of hiding her card?  Lots of people have lawyers.  

"Plus bring me some clothes and books, and don't tell Mom and Dad." In the U.S., you must notify the parents when you arrest a minor.

More after the break..