"3 Caminos": Catholic Pilgrims Hook Up

 "3 Caminos tells the story of five friends connected by El Camino at different moments in their lives."  Wait -- isn't an El Camino a car, the one that Clint Eastwood and a drag queen bonded over in a movie a few years ago?  Who wants to watch five friends bonding over a car?

Ok, that was Gran Torino.  This is a Spanish tv series.  El Camino means "the road," so it must be about auto racing.  Five friends bonding at a racetrack in Spain.

Prologue:  People with backpacks walking through the countryside.  A woman narrates: "When you arrive in Galicia, don't be fooled.  No matter what it looks like outside, it always ends up raining. For the Camino, be sure to wear waterproof rainwear."

I still don't know what El Camino is, but it's sure not an auto race.

Scene 1: The Royal Conservatory of Music, Madrid. Yoon (Alberto Jo Lee) is playing for a committee.  They say: "Thank you.  We'll send the results by mail"

 Meanwhile, Raquel (Veronica Echequi) is trying on shoes, Luca (Andrea Bosca, top) is standing on his boat shirtless, flirting with passing women, and Jana (Ana Schimrigk) is walking on a highway through a snowy woods, talking about the importance of good shoes for El Camino.  

Scene 2: Roberto (Alex Gonzalez) walks through the snowy woods.  Flashback to him as a firefighter, then taking a shower (a lot of beefcake so far!).  He approaches Jana to tell her to walk on the left side (facing traffic).  She refuses, and almost gets canned by a truck. 

Scene 3: Berlin, a squatter house, 2000.  The police burst in and arrest Jana, now dressed in a Goth costume.  "Fuck the police!" she screams.  

Back to modern-day Jana, now walking on a country lane.  She stops to take a plant cutting.  Narrating, she explains (finally!): El Camino is a pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela that they used to do in the Middle Ages, except now they start out in southern France and walk the 1000 or so kilometers. 

Flashback to Jana playing handsies with a girl, asking her to do El Camino with her. 

Back to modern-day Jana.  Agnes (Lucia Saavedra) approaches, and asks her to take a photo of her and her boyfriend -- Luca, the shirtless guy on the boat!  But why does Agnes call her Leni?  

Flashback to jail in Berlin. Leni/Jana is bailed out by a blonde girl who touches her face, and by her Dad, who isn't happy.

Meanwhile, Yoon the Pianist is on the phone, arguing with his Dad about "the executive position" waiting for him after El Camino.  Raquel approaches and rescues him.  

Meanwhile, Leni/Jana sends a money order to the other Leni/Jana: two girls played by the same actress, one wholesome, the other wild.  I assume the wholesome one is going on El Camino.

Scene 4: A hostel for pilgrims.  Luca wakes up Agnes for sex, but she refuses -- not before the wedding.   Later -- or before?  -- he goes downstairs to a wild party and approaches Roberto the Firefighter: "What are you drinking?"  Lame pick-up line, dude. Rebuffed, he moves on to Leni/Jana.  These wild and crazy people are all going on a solemn Catholic pilgrimage?  

Meanwhile, Agnes announces that she's getting married, starts a conga line with Luca and Yoon, and gets really drunk.  Yoon helps. Wait -- I ithought Agnes was upstairs in bed, refusing to have sex with Luca before the wedding.

Scene 5: Morning. A dorm room in the hostel.  Yoon wakes up to a shirtless Roberto getting dressed.  He looks horrified. Did they hook up, or is he just horrified by the sight of a semi-naked dude?

Roberto stops into a church and prays.  Meanwhile, Raquel's Mom calls to discuss her upcoming wedding to someone named Jay.  Yoon is downstairs, playing the piano,  They bond. Wait -- I thought Agnes was getting married, and upstairs refusing to have sex with Luca.  Or was that Raquel?  Or was it Raquel who got really drunk last night?  Who is marrying who, when? .  

Actors who look the same but are different characters, actors who look different but are playing the same characters, flashing back through various time periods intermittently.  This is way too confusing.  I'm going to just fast-forward to see if anyone is gay.  My money is on Yoon the Pianist -- sensitive, musical, and bonding with Raquel/Agnes, who ends up with Luca.  

He marries Raquel in Episode 2, but in Episode 4 he kisses a guy several times.  I'm not sure about the tenting when he's making out with Raquel again in Episode 5, especially when it is followed by a discussion of why he can't perform in bed.  In Episode 7, he's talking to his son about "your mother."  Presumably they have gotten divorced. 

Must have been a painful coming out.

Why is coming out always so painful in moves and on tv?  In real life, it's like "Wow, I'm gay!  Let's celebrate!"  

And the scenes are mostly countryside; there's only the briefest shot of the exterior of the Santiago de Compostela Church, the point of the whole pilgrimage.

It's not worth the trip.