A review of Our Flag Means Death, the pirate comedy on HBO Max, lists three queer relationships -- out of a cast of eight! And no queerbaiting; although reviews of the first few episodes talked about "buddies" and "bromance," at least two of the guys are kissing by Episode 8. After weeks of close textual analysis and fan-board debates over Kelvin x Keefe (I'm writing a scholarly article, so give me a break), my head is spinning. I reviewed Episode 3, where "things come together."
The premise: Gentleman pirate Stede Bonnet leads the mismatched crew of the Revenge, and falls in love with rival pirate Edward Teach, aka Blackbeard (according to Wikipedia!)
Scene 1: First mate Izzy (Con O'Neal, left) sights the Revenge, and goes to inform the grey-bearded, opium-smoking Blackbeard (Taika Waititi). He wonders if it is worth the trouble, but Blackbeard thnks that a "fancy ship" with a crew of "imbeciles" will be easy to plunder. Besides, he's really interested in meeting Captain Bonnet. "Wait till they make landfall, and then invite them aboard. We want to make a good impression."
Scene 2: On The Revenge, Captain Bonnet (Rhys Darby) is discussing how to be a gentleman pirate with his assistant, Frenchie (Joel Fry, top photo). He'll be a ruthless killer, but "kill with kindness," a polite menace. Next topic: the scribe Lucius has disappeared.
Scene 3: On deck, the pirates brainstorm what to do with their British naval officer hostage. Kill him? Cook him? Or they could sell him at the Republic of Pirates!
Olu (Samson Kayo) and his buddy/boyfriend, the male-presenting nonbinary Jim (Vico Ortiz) can't go back to the Republic of Pirates: the ruler, Spanish Jack, has put a price on their heads for "that thing with her husband" Were they having a male-male-nonbinary three-way? No, Jim killed him.
They're the ones who kidnapped Lucius from Scene 2 (Nathan Ford), because he discovered Jim's secret. While they're trying to decide whether to kill him, Captain Bonnet enters, so they have no choice but to let him go.
Scene 4: They arrive at the Republic of Pirates, and are disappointed: it's become gentrified and touristy. Captain Bonnet drags the hostage through the marketplace, yelling "Man for sale!" A customer asks for all three of them; he thought they were selling sex, not a slave.
Jim sees a poster with their female-presenting name, Bonifacia, wanted for murder! The actor is nonbinary, but is the character? I see a woman disguised as a man to avoid a murder rap.
Scene 5: They go into Spanish Jack's saloon so Captain Bonnet can make his debut as a gentleman pirate. Lucius announces him. The pirates are not impressed.
Uh-oh, the bartender recognizes Jim's friend Olu: "You've got some titanic balls, coming in here. Jackie's going to want a word." Olu trudges to Jackie's table. She wants to know where Bonifacia is: "I killed her. She was gauche." Then she wants to meet his "sexy friend" Jim!
Meanwhile, Blackbeard's mate Izzy invites Captain Bonnet to the ship. He refuses.
Scene 6: When Spanish Jackie is called away, Jim rushes into her room to confront the mummified remains of her husband: "The man who killed my family!" The plot thickens. They try to retrieve an important dagger, but the corpse doesn't have it -- and Spanish Jackie returns, ready for sex. But if Jim gets naked, they'll be revealed as Bonifacia!
They embrace. "You're stiff in the wrong places," Jackie notes. I'm confused. If Jim has female body parts, what part of them gets stiff? Never mind, I'd rather not know.
She is called away to handle Captain Bonnet, who is causing a ruckus. Apprised that the famously bloodthirsty Blackbeard is interested in him, she banishes him from the island.
Scene 7: On the way out, Captain Bonnet and Lucius get an offer for the hostage, but the buyer wants to "disassemble" him. Captain Bonnet has become quite fond of the hostage, and refuses.
Then the Bartender says he has a side hustle going on, with a client who likes sophisticated guys. So he's offering Captain Bonnet a sex job?
Scene 8: Olu and Jim are in their room, arguing: "You almost got us killed, and she didn't even have the dagger!" Suddenly, there's a knock on the door: Lucius found the dagger!" Jim is so overjoyed that they kiss him. Lucius admits that he's into Jim, which upsets Olu. Weird -- I didn't see any evidence that Olu and Jim were a couple. Maybe it's unrequited?
Scene 7: First mate Izzy telling Blackbeard that Captain Bonnet refused his invitation. "But does he know who I am?" "Seemed to."
Meanwhile, we discover that it's not a sex thing (again). The Bartender wants to sell the hostage to the Spanish navy. They row to the ship with Lucius and Jim, and a tray of tapas to make a good impression.
Uh-oh, when they climb aboard, the Spaniards stab Captain Bonnet to death and imprison the others. Except for Jim: the Bartender pulls their fake nose and beard off, revealing Bonifacia: 'Jackie knew it was you all along. She just wanted you to sweat a bit."
Scene 8: Captain Bonnet is still alive; they're going to hang him. As he dangles, he flashes back to his wife and kids in Barbados. Suddenly a pirate ship attacks -- Blackbeard!
He stands over Captain Bonnet. "The gentleman pirate, I presume. I've heard all about you." The end.
Beefcake: None. The cast seems to be mostly elderly, which is fine if you like that sort of thing.
Gay Characters: A lot of same-sex activity is mentioned. Everyone seems to be pretty much pansexual.
Queer Romances: The article mentioned Olu and Jim, but Jim is a woman disguised as a man, so it's more Victor/Victoria (or Viola in Twelfth Night).
It also mentions Captain Bonnet and Blackbeard, who have only just met, and Lucius and Black Pete, a pirate aboard the Revenge whom he does not interact with in this episode. But apparently they kiss in Episode 1.
My Grade: B
Update: A youtube video shows all of the queer kisses in the series. There are three: Bonnet-Blackbeard, Lucius-Black Pete, and Olu-Jim, one each. Better than some other shows I could name.
Pirates were society's rejects, so it wouldn't be historically accurate without the queer romances.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great title for a show.
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