Noah Beck: Shirtless Soccer Player, Too Soon Steve, and Jowsey's boyfriend's ex shows his d*ck to 33 million TikTok followers

N*de photos of Noah Beck have been sitting in my "to profile" folder for two months.  It's hard to get enthusiastic about profiling someone when you've never seen him in anything, and aren't even sure if he's an actor.  All I know is:

1. He appeared in a music video with the Zoey 101 gang, so there's a d*ck pic in the profile of Matthew Underwood.

2. He is the ex boyfriend of Harry Jowsey's boyfriend. 

That's not much to go on, but it's a really nice d*ck, so let's get started:

Instagram: Noah's taglines are  "Do what makes you happy" and "sideline the QB and me," so maybe he's a football player.  Or is dating a football player.

Posts show him boating, going to Disneyland, cooking, jumping on the bed, modeling a pink shirt, and telling us what he ate today (several times).

No pictures of men or women, at least not in the first two hundred posts.  That's usually a sign of gay identity, but we already know that he's gay from being Harry Jowsey's boyfriend's ex, so his Instagram is useful only for its beefcake images.

Wikipedia: Noah was born in 2001 in Peoria, Arizona, a suburb of Phoenix, about 13 miles from downtown. He graduate from the Real Salt Lake Academy, which trains professional soccer players (presumably you take academic subjects, too); then he attended University of Portland for a year before dropping out due to COVID isolaiton.

He is a content creator, specializing in dances and humorous skits, with 33 million TikTok followers.

He also owns a gender-neutral underwear brand called Iphis (top photo).  In Greek mythology, Iphis is born female but raised as a man so she can take the throne.  When she falls in love with a woman, she is horrified by the "monstrous" lesbian desire, and asks the gods to make her a "real man."  They do.  Transgender affirmation, or a paeon to universal heterosexual desire?

The IMDB: Eight acting roles. 

Some music videos.

A guy who dumps his girlfriend on an episode of Side Hustle (2021).

A shirtless soccer player who flirts with a girl on an episode of Doogie Kamealoha MD (2023).

A more substantial role on an episode of Doctor Odyssey (2025): Steve (Noah)  looks uncomfortable when his buddy invites three bikini babes into their hot tub.  Just when you conclude that he's gay, it turns out that he suffers from a disorder that makes him...um...finish at the slightest stimulus: a big problem on a date or even when trying to meet a girl.

I've been with thousands of men, again and again.  They promise the moon.

They're always coming and going, and going and coming,

And always too soon -- Madeleine Kahn in Blazing Saddles

 Fortunately, it's an easy fix with medication that the doctor prescribes.

The full profile, with n*de photos, is on  RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

See also: Harry Jowsey: New Zealand reality star, Boyfriend Dick Podcaster, Onlyfans n*de model, "Call me gay."

Matthew Underwood: The "Zoey 101" It-Boy Logan plays himself again and again...and again, posts d*ck pics. With bonus Noah Beck

Cody Kearsley: Metis actor with two gay roles, Moose Mason and a post-Apocalyptic zombie. Plus Cody and another Metis guy n*de

Bamm-Bamm's Muscles: Gay Promise on "The Flintstones"

Quick, name a cartoon character who came from outer space, was adopted by a human family, and has superpowers?

Right, Bamm-Bamm Rubble.

In an October 3rd, 1963 episode of The Flintstones, about "a modern prehistoric family," Betty and Barney Rubble are upset because they can't have children -- apparently Barney's sperm count is a little low.  They wish on a falling star, and the next morning a baby appears on their doorstep, asleep in a turtle shell, holding a club.

He can only say "Bamm-Bamm," so that becomes his name. He turns out to have superhuman strength, easily carrying furniture and tossing his adopted father around.

As a kid, I was intrigued by Bamm-Bamm's mysterious origin.  Could he be an alien -- a falling star could mean a UFO!  His white hair certainly looked alien.  And the superhuman strength surely meant super muscles!

I didn't see The Flintstones often, so I didn't notice that the writers failed to make much use of Bamm-Bamm's potential.  His supernatural origins were rarely mentioned, and his super-strength became little more than a comic nuisance.

No gay symbolism: in fact, he began expressing toddler heterosexual interest, mooning over toddler-next-door Pebbles, romancing her in baby-talk.  Eventually they were closing episodes by singing the treacly Sunday-school song "Open Up Your Heart (and Let the Sun Shine In)." Yuck.

In 1971, a highly publicized spin-off appeared, The Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm Show (1971-72, and rerun long after).  With the characters as teenagers. 

But Bamm-Bamm dit not transform into Superboy.

He and Pebbles went to high school and belonged to a rock band, like everyone on Saturday morning in the 1970s.

No mysterous origin.  No superstrength.  He wasn't even built -- he had skinny arms and legs and a shapeless lump of a body.  

More after the break

"Best Foot Forward": Boy negotiates middle school with a prosthetic leg, a h*ng ad, a bodybuilder brother, a gay buddy, and no annoying girl-craziness

  

Link to the n*de dudes

We just dumped Peacock in favor of Apple Plus, so now we can watch Best Foot Forward (2022), based on childhood experiences of  "Paralympian, comedian, author, disability advocate, and Halloween enthusiast" Joshua Sundquist (underwear photo on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) 

Focus character Josh has been home schooled since he lost his left leg at age nine, but he finally convinces his parents to allow him to start seventh grade in public school.  He faces the standard junior high problems of friends, math tests, soccer practice, movie night, and school dances.

Josh is played by Logan Marmino, fifteen years old in 2025 and thinking about college.  Maybe Johns Hopkins?

He's an accomplished athlete, competing in Paralympics track and high school basketball and baseball.  Plus surfing and skateboarding. 

When showrunner Joshua Sundquist invited him to audition for Best Foot Forward, he had no acting experience, not even a school play.  And he doesn't really seem interested in an acting career -- he hasn't appeared in anything since. Sports and disability activism keep him busy.

While Josh is experiencing the joys and hassles of junior high, Dad and Mom (Stephen Schneider, left, Joy Suprano) have B plots of their own, like when they tried to order two pizzas, and accidentally ordered twenty. "Sometimes older people can't see the order screen very well," the delivery guy explains, to Mom's consternation.

Stephen Schneider may be best known for a five-minute long n*de fight scene in The Righteous Gemstones, but he has 37 acting credits on the IMDB, including three tv series reviewed here: You're the Worst, Broad City. and Nobody Wants This, 

Josh's younger brother Matt (Roger Dale Floyd) mostly tries to help, or feels left out when Josh gets all of the attention.

Roger Dale Floyd, 13 years old in 2025, has appeared in The Walking Dead, Doctor Sleep, Greenland, and Stranger Things.  He is a junior bodybuilder, interested in promoting fitness among teens and tweens. 

In Greenland (2020), Roger and his Mom and Dad (Gerard Butler) must flee cross-country to safety after a comet-Apocalypse.  Whoops, they forgot to bring his insulin. 

N*de Gerard Butler on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

Josh makes two friends, Kyle (Peyton Jackson, left) and Gabriella (Trinity Jo-Li Bliss).

Peyton Jackson has 14 acting credits on the IMDB, most recently Pet Investigators (2025), about three teens who crack a pet-theft ring.  The baddies are played by former teen idols Sean Astin, David Faustino, and Corin Nemec, and the hunk by Mike Markoff (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

I have bad luck with junior high and high school comedies.  They invariably present their male characters as absurdly girl crazy, their every action designed to meet, impress, or win Girls! Girls! Girls!: "Let's join chess club -- there will be girls there!  Let's buy a new skateboard -- we can use it to get girls!  Let's jump out of an airplane -- maybe a girl will see us!"

I'm reviewing the "School Dance" episode with my "heteronormative erasure!" complaints ready.

Review after the break

Gavin Munn's Cute/Cool Photos, Part 4: A boy and his bully, a boy and his stuntman, Kelton Dumont, a selfie, and Santa Claus

Link to the n*de photos

This is a collection of cute/cool photos of Gavin Munn, who plays Jonathan on Raising Dion and Abraham on The Righteous Gemstones.  He's under 18, so no n*de photos of Gavin, but I may have included some of his costars and friends.

1. A boy and his Mom.

2. In Dear Santa (2024), a dyslexic boy writes a letter to Santa Claus, but it accidentally goes to Satan (Jack Black), who appears to help him gain self-confidence, best a bully, and win the Girl.  Gavin plays the bully.  

I don't know why he needs a mannequin.  Does Satan, like, shoot him out of a cannon?

3. In case you want to see Satan and Santa Claus at the beach.  That's actually Kyle Gass, who plays a science teacher.

4. A boy and his fish.

5. A boy and his boat.

More after the break