Adam Devine's House Party, Episode 1.1: Adam shows his tree trunk, eats fro-yo, and flirts with Andrew Santino

 Link to the tree trunks

In 2013-2014,  while Adam Devine was starring in Workaholics and Modern Family and guesting on  Community, Arrested Development, Sanjay and Craig, and American Dad, he somehow managed to find the time for Adam Devine's House Party.  He plays an insecure, jerky, penis-obsessed version of himself, hosting a huge party in a mansion.  Each episode has a brief plot framing the sets of three up-and-coming comedians. I'm reviewing Episode 1.1, "Ex Girlfriend."

Scene 1:  Adam checks the food, booze, and comedians.  Whoops, there's some poop on the floor.  He covers it with a dollar bill. Gross! Everything is ready!  A hundred people burst in.  

Scene 2: To demonstrate how wild he is, Adam smashes a beer bottle on his head.  Uh-oh, too far.  We cut to him with his head bandaged, blood sopping down. Can they keep filming?  Director Kyle says it's fine.

Adam introduces the concept: "Comedy Central gave me a bunch of money to throw an awesome comedy show, and I blew it all on this house party."

Nope, that doesn't work.  Let's try repeating the opening amid gyrating butts --- a boy and a girl.  The boy's is obscured by the title, but that's the one he gawks at. Adam likes boy butts, and he cannot lie.

Scene 3: Andrew Santino invited Adam's ex-girlfriend to the party!  Adam gets all jealous and threatens to not let him perform. Santino claims that he didn't know, and the girl says that they just went out on one date, so who cares?  He counters: "We should have grown old and died together, but someone thought that someone was strange."

Scene 4: The first comic "won't stab you in the back by f*king your ex girlfriend: Ahmed Bharoocha. 

"Gay marriage is still illegal.  Can we get a boo for that?  Aha!  If you booed, you're gay!"  Wait -- anyone who supports gay marriage is gay, and that's a bad thing?   

He continues that it's crazy that gay marriage is still illegal. How can they allow someone who doesn't know any gay people to "vote on their happiness."  It's like going to a restaurant and ordering cake, but the guy at the next table cancels your order: "I don't like cake, so no one gets cake."

More riffs on a teenage God having kids too early, and baby crows.

Scene 5: Montage of a guy drinking, a guy kissing a girl, and so on. Ahmed and Adam discuss his head injury and the likelihood that Santino "won't get out of here alive."  

Scene 6: Adam introduces Andrew Santino, "a shit dog of a human being, but he's super funny."  

He riffs on his father's objections to him moving to California, with all the gay slurs: "you gonna roller blade and give blow jobs for cash."  "That's ridiculous.  Not everybody in California is gay."  

Then his friend asked him to go sky-diving.  The first time, you go tandem, which means that another adult male is strapped against you, his genitals against your butt.What if the parachute fails, and they both die, and his Dad comes to identify the body: a guy's dick in his ass!  He turned gay after all!

Santino lives in West Hollywood, the "gayest place in the world."  His apartment is at the intersection of Rainbow Avenue and Butthole Road.  You know, not all gay men are into anal sex.  His neighbor is a bear, but he eats penis instead of pic-a-nick baskets.  

If Santino was gay, he'd be a power bottom.  He demonstrates how he would clench to guide the action.  That's not what a power bottom is, but I'm surprised that Santino knows about the clenching. 

Scene 7: Adam asks the ex-girlfriend why she prefers Santino.  "Is his dick bigger than mine?" She doesn't know, having never seen Adam's dick.  Don't you go to movies?  Everyone's seen it.    

"Adam, you just took me out for fro-yo, and didn't pay for it.  You don't love me...you just get obsessed, and can't think of anything else."

"I do not get obsessed...wait, fro-yo?  I forgot about that."  He calls a fro-yo - frozen yogurt -- shop and orders enough for everyone.

Scene 8:  Next comedian: Barry Rothbart (top photo.  At least, he claims that's him).  He riffs on why he's so good at sex; ordering in a restaurant using hand signals: and dolphin sex.

Scene 9: Adam shows Santino a photo of his dick.  It might be the "tree-trunk" trick of perspective, or not a dick at all, but Santino is impressed.  He breaks up with the ex-girlfriend: he can't compete with a dick that size.  

The ex-girlfriend is ready to go back to Adam, but the fro-yo machine arrives, so he loses interest.  

Adam and Santino apologize for letting a girl come between them.  We cut to them feeding each other fro-yo.  Gross!   Uh-oh, there's some on Adam's mouth. Santino leans in to...the end.

Beefcake: None except for the blurry tree-trunk cock.

Gay Characters/Comedians: None. A lot of riffing on gay people, and a deliberate gay subtext between Adam and Santino

My Grade: Adam is similar to his Workaholics character: clueless, delusional, but generally pleasant. But the grossness ruins it -- why spend the entire episode bleeding? B-

Bonus: Adam and other guys show off their tree-trunks on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

See also:  Adam Devine's House Party, Episode 1.3: A Bisexual Foam O*rgy is promised

Adam Devine's House Party, Episode 2.9: Adam's O*rgasm, Nick Rutherford's Bulge, and Guys Sucking...

Adam Devine's House Party, Episode 3.1: Adam marries a dude. And it's not Tony Cavlero.

"Difficult People": Billy pretends to be straight, Julie pretends to be Italian, and the son of the guest star takes his shirt off

  

Link to the n*ude photos

Yesterday on the treadmill, I watched Difficult People, a two season sitcom about two jerks, the Jewish Julie and the gay Billy (Julie Klausner, Billy Eichner. below). I've had a file of photos for a long time, so why not write a review?

Julie and Billy are trying to break into stand-up comedy as a pair. We only see snippets of their act, but it seems to involve insulting people.  Plots often involve pop-culture name dropping or the pairs' crazy relatives.  Among the famous guest stars are Amy Sedaris, Lucy Liu, Tina Fey, Mark Consuelos, and Kathy Lee Gifford.

Rounding out the cast are James Urbaniak as Julie's business suit-wearing husband, who works for PBS; Andrea Martin as her yenta mother; and Cole Escola, left, as the swishy queen who works with Billy at his coffee shop gig. 

This episode, "Italian Piñata" begins with the pair walking past the Stonewall Tavern, where the Gay Rights Movement began: queens upset over the death of Judy Garland weren't going to take the police harassment anymore, and fought back.  The Judy Garland angle has been completely discredited.  These were young adults in the 60s. They were into the Beatles and the Rolling Stones, not some singer from their grandparents' generation.

Billy notes that it's National Coming Out Day, when super-hot A-gays who spend the rest of the year snubbing everyone who isn't a Greek god do their public duty by offering to introduce newly-out guys to the culture.  It doesn't even matter if they're ugly or have a horrible personality -- or both, like Billy -- if you're newly out, you're in. 

Julie Turns Italian: On their way to a horrible party that Julie's husband had to plan for his PBS job, in Hoboken, the pair drops into an Italian meat shop, where some ladies like Julie's jokes about "meat in my mouth."  They have big hair, eat everything in sight, carry purses that "fell off a truck," and discuss what they'll do to the penises of boyfriends who betray them.  Julie is in love!  She announces to her mother and husband that she's coming out -- she now identifies as Italian!  The two are horrified.

Mom works as a therapist whose client -- the famous Mink Stole -- has a daughter in a cult.  They discuss deprogramming -- kidnapping the brainwashed girl and yelling at her until she "believes what I want her to believe." Mom thinks this would work on Julie.  

Billy Turns Straight: Meanwhile, Billy and Julie go to a New Jersey gay bar, where he gets the idea of pretending to come out.  He announces that he was straight until today, and Julie is actually his soon-to-be ex-wife.  The gay guys, including bartender Pasha Pelosie, left, all want to welcome him into the gay community.  

He gives the hunky Joey (Mark Consuelos, top photo) the job, hoping to get into the guy's pants for his "first time."  But Joey wants to take it slow.  First, a long, detailed course in gay culture -- which he gets all wrong, even the Judy Garland-Stonewall connection. Billy turns him on by pretending to be straight -- wearing cargo pants, thinking that Judy Garland was hot -- but it doesn't help. No sex.

Left: The guy with Mark in the top photo is his son Joaquin, now attending Michigan State University, where he is a wrestler.

When the two groups get together, Julie and Billy are outed -- he knows who Liza Minelli is -- and they are dumped by the Italians and the gays, respectively. At that moment, Mom and the Husband shove a bag over Julie's head to kidnap her for deprogramming.  The Italian ladies think that she's getting an  "Italian piñata." Use your imagination.

Subplots involve Mink Stole, bad hair resulting from getting it styled by students; and the husband's PBS party, which ends up with an office full of kids and a scary clown chasing his boss down the hall.

Beefcake: A split-second of Mark with his shirt off.  When you have to depend on the son of the guest star and guys far down on the cast list, you know there's something wrong. 

Left: Ben Bauer plays a Gay Rights Activist in one episode.

Heterosexism:  Not much. Julie and her husband don't seem to like each other. The swishy queen at the coffee shop notes that he came out a year ago and left his wife, but he still thinks about her all the time, so maybe he should give her a call. Maybe you're a swishy bi guy?

Homophobia: Billy's boss at the coffee shop, who is trans, calls him a "fag": "I can say it because I used to be one."  One of the Italian ladies suggests that they go to the gay bar next door and hang out with her "fag" brother: "I can say it because he is one."

Left: Sean Martin Hingston shows the pair his penis in another episode.

My Grade: I liked the episode construction, with the various subplots linked together, but the humor was outdated and trite.  Jewish mothers, har har.   A swishy straight guy, har har. 

Some dicks and butts from far down the cast list on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

See also: Stonewall: A movie about the riots that started the Gay Rightes Movement

The naked pres bro on the bus on "The Girls on the Bus"

Gogo Lomo-David: "Shameless" actor, model, motivational speaker, host. Did I mention his c*ock?

 

Link to the c*ocks of Gogo and some other guys

 The Nigerian-American actor Gogo Lomo-David was born in Indiana, Pennsylvania but grew up in Greensboro, North Carolina, where his Dad taught business analytics at the North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University.  

He graduated from Dad's school (free tuition!) in 2013.  Summa cum laude, with two degrees: a B.F.A. in Professional Theater and a B.A. in Business Management.

Gogo has 28 acting credits listed on the IMDB, quite a lot for someone whose screen career began in 2014.  Well, except for a short, Wrap It Before You Slap It (2011).

His first major screen role was Israel in Field of Lost Shoes (2014), which, he tells us, won Best Dramatic Feature at the GI Film Festival (for movies about military veterans).  It's about the cadets at the Virginia Military Academy drafted into the Civil War, oddly presenting them, and every Confederate, as not at all racist. 

Other significant roles include:

Loterna in a 2015 episode of Zoo, with Jason Wolk as the leader of a team trying to figure out why animals are starting to attack.

Walter in Evil Nanny (2016), also starring Demetrious Stear (c*ock on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends)

Danjuma Okafor in two episodes of the crime drama Shameless (2019), "Adios Gringos" and "Sparky."  The character is not listed in the fan wiki or wikipedia synopsis.

Gogo's biggest role to date is Craig Simkins, the younger brother of the Simkin siblings, arch-rivals of the Gemstones, in the Righteous Gemstones.   He defeats Jesse at car racing in Episode 3.1 and defeats Kelvin at Bible Bonkers in Episode 3.9.  

And he'll be back in Season 4, maybe as an ally of Big Bad Vance Simkins, maybe working against him. 

His resume says that he appeared in Iron Man 3, Banshee, Homeland, and Under the Dome, but they aren't listed on the IMDB. Maybe he was a background player.

Also commercials for Bojangles, Inforeach, Republic Wireless, the North Carolina Lottery.

And theater: A Raisin in the Sun, A Streetcar Named Desire, The Shadow Box, Black Nativity, Midnight of the Soul, and The Wiz.

More after the break

Gemstones Episode 4.4: Gideon is gay, Jesse jealous, and Kelvin scared. With a Big D*ick and a play within a play

  

Link to the Big D*icks

Previous: Gemstones Episode 4.3, Continued: Vance is homophobic, Jesse is sad, and Kelvin is doomed.  With Ryan, Vance, and Hamlet d*cks

Title: "He Goeth Before You Into Galilee."  Matthew 28.7 Mary Magdalene and the other Mary see that the tomb of Jesus is empty.  An angel tells them to tell the disciples that he has risen from the dead, and "he goeth before you ointo Galilee."  

Welcome to Galilee Gulch.  Baby Billy water-skiing naked, nice shots of his dong.  That's two Baby Billy dongs in four episodes.

Then the Gemstones and Milsaps arrive at Galilee Gulch, a huge "lake house" on Lake Marion, about an hour north of Charleston.  Coincidentally, the house where they filmed is owned by a gay couple.

Pontius complains; Jesse makes him carry in some bags.  

Some cute attendants, who aren't in the cast list, take care of the wheelchair-using BJ, who complains that the whole place is inaccessible.  He'll be constantly complaining about everything through the episode.

Keefe wants to go waterskiing n*aked, like Uncle Baby Billy, but Kelvin doesn't want to hang dong with his uncle.  Then he forces Keefe to carry the gigantic trunk full of shoes into the house.  That's no way to treat your partner, buddy.  At least he calls Keefe "Sweetheart."

The Breakup Plan: Uncle Baby Billy disapproves of the Eli-Lori relationship -- we aren't told why, but maybe he knows something from Lori's past -- and pushes the siblings into a plan to break them up. The siblings point out that they arranged this weekend retreat because the lake house is full of Aimee-Leigh's things, and will certainly cause Eli to feel guilty about "abandoning Mama." 

For instance, Eli and Lori's bedroom still has Aimee-Leigh's clothes in the closet,  He orders the eavesdropping siblings to call "the help" and have them moved out.  

Kelvin is pretending to read the complete works of William Shakespeare.  Another clue that we're in the middle of Hamlet.

To refresh your memory: Hamlet, Prince of Denmark (left), suspects that his mother and uncle, Gertrude and Claudius, conspired to murder his father and take the throne.  He kills his trusted advisor; his girlfriend commits suicide; Gertrude is poisoned; he kills Claudius, then dies himself.  "The rest is silence."  Well, there's no one left alive.

The New Nanny: Baby Billy is being nasty to his wife and children ("Get them out of here!"), and expresses his hatred for the butch Germanic nanny, Sola (Kirsten Schultze).  So why not fire her?

More after the break

Kevin Quinn: "Bunk'd" hunk, singer, mental health advocate, gay Christian. Or not. With the hunk's junk and Mykelti's bottom

Link to the c*ocks

I have about eight profiles ready to post, plus reviews of tv shows and movies.  This one has been sitting in my files for awhile:

After reviewing the gay-engagement episode of the Disney Channel's Bunk'd, about a summer camp where the campers stick around for years, I checked for male cast members who were gay or had posted n*de photos as adults, and found two:  Nate Stone, below, and Kevin Quinn.

Kevin is gay and Christian, of special interest to me due to my hardcore evangelical childhood.  

The Chicago native had performed for the Children's Theater of Winnetka, but he was primarily interested in baseball until 2013.  Then,  a week after his 15th birthday, he auditioned for American Idol -- the youngest contestant ever.  He made it through the Long Beach and Hollywood rounds before being eliminated.

After doubling up on courses to graduate from high school early, he returned to  Los Angeles, where he was immediately cast in Bunk'd as Xander McCormick, the handsome, muscular, but dim-witted summer camp counselor who draws the attention of "all" of the female counselors (and none of the male; this was still the Disney Channel)

He also appeared in an episode of Shameless and the remake of Adventures in Babysitting on the side.  Plus he was touring in a musical group.

After two seasons, Kevin left Bunk'd  due to exhaustion, stress, and mental health issues -- he was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder.  He began concentrating on his singing, although he still appeared occasionally on screen:

Three episodes of Champions (2018) as Greg, who draws the interest of the gay boy Michael (Josie Totah before she began transitioning).

Brian in Canal Street (2018), a Christian movie with teenage Jackie (Mykelti Williamson, left) accused of murdering a classmate.  He and his Dad, or both, find God.

A member of a social anxiety group in an episode of Love Daily (2018).

A starring role in A Christmas Love Story (2019), as a boy who has a "golden voice," and may be just who focus character Katherine needs to win or save whatever needs winning or saving.   Complication: the boy's father (Scott Wolf) disapproves of singing. Not macho enough for you, Dad?

Another starring role in A Week Away (2021), as an orphaned boy who finds a parental figure, a best buddy, a girlfriend, and God at a Christian summer camp (at least it only lasts for a week, not forever like "Bunk'd").  He originally auditioned for the best buddy role, but the showrunners thought he would shine as the lead.

A third starring role -- boyfriend is on fire!  -- in Send It (2022), as an extreme sports player who finds a girlfriend, and I assume God, at a kiteboarding competition.

More after the break

Da Vinci's Demons: An absurdly heterosexual Da VInci, a bi guy who only likes ladies, two monstrous gay predators, and a lot of p*enises

  

Link to the p*enises

The problem with Peacock is, they don't tell you the date of any tv series. So when we clicked on Da Vinci's Demons last night, we didn't realize that it was from 2013.  

Of course it would turn gay artist and inventor Leonardo Da Vinci (1452-1519) straight: every historical figure from Shakespeare to Cole Porter gets straightened in contemporary media.  But when I was studying comparative literature, one of my fields was Renaissance Italy.  Plus there were hints of the paranormal, secret societies and such.  So why not?

Big mistake.  It was disgusting.  I can't even bring myself to do a scene-by-scene, but I'll post some of the nude photos.

1. They straightened Da Vinci (Tom Riley) in the most offensive, slap-in-the-face way possible.  He starts out painting a n*aked woman of "exceptional beauty," then discuss the incredible beauty of the Woman of His Dreams, Lucrezia Donati, over and over and over.  Finally he manages to schtup her for ten minutes of her boobs.  .  

2. His apprentice Nico (Eros Vlastos), who grows up to be Niccolo Machiavelli, gazes longingly at the bare boobs, too.  It is absolutely imperative to demonstrate that every man on Earth is heterosexual.  

At least Machiavelli was straight in real life.

3. DaVinci's buddy Zoroaster (Greg Chillan) mentions that he's been with men in an offhand comment, then goes into detail about the exceptional beauty of the hundreds of women he's had s*ex with.  He likes ugly women, too, because they're better in bed.  

4. There are two gay guys.  I know, every man on Earth longs for women's boobs, but these people are not men, they are odious, slimy monsters who have nonconsensual sex with teenage boys.  The first, the Duke of Milan (Hugh Bonneville), is killed immediately after he kicks the boy (Matthew David) out of his bed.  Serves him right for being gay.

Hugh and David's bums on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

More homophobia and p*enises after the break

"Mid-Century Modern": "Golden Girls" with gay guys. Plus Bomer's backside, Adam's c*ock, and Tommy's bj

Link to the d*cks

In West Hollywood in the 1980s, every Saturday night at 9:00 pm, you could hear "Thank You For Being a Friend" coming from every apartment:

Thank you for being a friend

Traveled down a road and back again

Your heart is true

You're a pal and a confidant

as gay men sat down for a surcease from the AIDS crisis to  watch the adventures of The Golden Girls, four golden-aged ladies sharing a house in Miami.  Somehow they always ended up with cheesecake, and we did too.

Then they would head out to the Rage or Mugi or the Faultline, hoping to end up like Matt Bomer in the top photo.

180 Saturday nights with cheesecake, hookups, and Sophia's one-liners.  I'm misting up.

From left to right: Ditzy Minnesotan Rose, beset-upon Dorothy, horny Southern belle Blanche, and hanging back because the kitchen table only seats three, wisecracking Sophia.

Hulu has just dropped a 2025  homage to The Golden Girls, Mid-Century Modern, except it's in Palm Springs rather than Miami, and it features gay men: ditzy Jerry (Matt Bomer), horny Arthur (Nathan Lee Graham), beset-upon Bunny (Nathan lane), and wisecracking Sybill (Linda Lavin).  Lavin died in December 2024, but she appears in all ten Season 1 episodes.

I'm going to review Episode 1.6, "Maid Serviced," in which the guys hire a "se xy but unqualified" housekeeper.  

Scene 1:  I watch with the sound off to avoid annoying laugh tracks, but I'm imagining "Thank You for Being a Friend" as we zoom into Bunny's mansion (Bunny?  what kind of name is that for a guy, regardless of how swishy he is?).   It's the kitchen where the Girls ate cheesecakes, but now it's Arthur and Bunny at the table, Jerry cooking.  Arthur complains about the leaky sink; Bunny, busily sorting his pills "by Jew," ugh, assures him that a plumber is working on it now, and Jerry says that he dated a plumber once, with no details or dirty double entendres.  Come on, Blanche, say something about your pipes!

The pill-sorting turns into a girl-group song: "He had it coming."   This is painful to watch.  Why is it that gay guys on tv act nothing like any gay guy I've ever met in real life?  

Scene 2: Jerry asks if it's ok to store his energy drinks in the fridge.  Arthur: "I can answer for her.  Miss Havisham wants everything arranged like it was when she still had hope."  Calling gay men she?  Come on, is it 1958?  

Mom enters and announces that the housekeeper quit.  She said she didn't sign up to clean for three men. "I told her, what three men ?  They're gay. Together they barely add up to one."  Being gay makes you a woman, I get it.   The Will and Grace gang used to say the same thing. 

Bunny wants to prove that it's the other guys' house, too, so he suggests that the three of them work together to hire a new housekeeper.  Mom: "What about me?  Did women lose the right to vote?"  Not right now, but by summertime, probably.

Scene 4: Interviewing an applicant who podcasts about her cleaning hacks.  "I'm obsessed with cleaning.  My friends say I'm a little anal." Jerry: "My friends say that, too."  He has gay se*x, har har.

She demonstrates her trick for opening a jar.  "There's nothing too tight for me to open."  Looking at you for a dirty double entendre, Jerry.  Nope, Arthur says it.

"We're all impressed, and think you would be perfect..."  The next applicant, hunky Bo (Adam Hagenbuch), comes in..."Sorry, the job is filled."  I saw that joke coming a mile away.  Jerry, I said "coming."  Where's your dirty double entendre?

The complement him: "You're so handsome, you should have a one-man show, Bo on Broadway.  People would come to that.  I'd come every night."  There it is.

The interview: he's been in Palm Springs for two months.  He came with his boyfriend, but they've broken up, so he's single. 

Gay and single!  The guys squeal and shriek with absurd over-eagerness, as if they've never seen a hot guy before.  Come on, this is ridiculous.

They're ready to hire him, but he's confused.  "What about the push-ups?  In every other job interview, I have to do push-ups."  Naturally.

While they are watching with absurdly over-eager glee, Mom calls Bunny into the kitchen and warns, "Never hire someone that you want to schtup."  It's ok if you don't pressure them into it.  Bunny insists that he is the best qualified.

More after the break.  

Gemstones Episode 4.3, Continued: Vance is homophobic, Jesse is sad, and Kelvin is doomed. With Ryan, Vance, and Hamlet d*cks

 

 Link to the n*de dudes

Previous: Gemstones Episode 4.3: Keefe has s*ex with the Devil.  So does Eli.  With a pole dancer's d*ick and the Groundskeeper's bottom

In the first part of the episode, Kelvin has night terrors and a feeling of impending doom as his last safe place is destroyed, the siblings worry that Eli is schtupping Aimee-Leigh's best friend, and BJ (Tim Baltz, right)  falls on his head during a pole dancing contest.

Stuntman Ryan Mooney and his little friend is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

 BJ is.....: The family gathers at the hospital.  Everyone wonders why Eli and Lori arrived at the same time, suspecting that the two are having s*x.  Maybe focus on the crisis?

A doctor appears and tells Judy "I'm very sorry."  BJ isn't dead, but he's paralyzed, and will have to use a wheelchair.  Judy cries.  "What are we going to do?"

The Quail Hunt: Eli, Jesse, and some members of the Cape and Pistol Society in ridiculous floppy-hat uniforms shooting quail.  I don't see the significance of this scene, except to contrast with the Civil War scenes in the trailer.  

How Many Gay Gemstones? Cut to the Cape and Pistol headquarters, where a minister congratulates Jesse on his brother being nominated for Top Christ Following Man of the Year.   Rival megachurch pastor Vance Simkins (Stephen Dorff), one of the Season 3 antagonists, has also been nominated, and complains: "I guess your homosexual brother is the one with the juice nowadays." 

This doesn't upset Jesse, so Vance tries again.  "I heard your brother-in-law fell out of the sky...Word on the street is that he was stripping..how many homosexuals does that make in your family now?"

"Two," Jesse answers.  "The same number of dead parents in your family."

Wait -- he can't be agreeing that BJ is gay, so who is the second "homosexual"?  Keefe?  But he and Kelvin aren't married.  

Gideon?  Remember, Aimee-Leigh admitted Scotty to the family after his death, and Gideon hasn't expressed any interest in anyone since.  Maybe he's still in mourning.

Vance tries again: "You're losing in our rivalry due to your poor character."  You're not exactly a saint yourself, Vance Baby.   His churches have turned into bathrooms, "with that filth your brother's been preaching. It's what your church is becoming known for.  Does that bother you?"

Of course Kelvin's success bothers Jesse, but not for that reason, so he counters that he is succesful too.  And the ministers start to circle.

More after the break

Jonah Platt: Ben Platt's brother rants about "Snow White," podcasts about being Jewish, shows his d*ck

Link to the d*ck pics

In October 2024,  when Rachel Zegler introduced the first trailer for her Disney movie Snow White, she tweeted to her followers, "and always remember, free Palestine."  I'm not sure what that means, but it sounds like she supports  establishing a separate Palestinian state. 

The results were catastrophic.  Costar Gal Gadol, who didn't say it, began to receive death threats, so Disney had to hire extra security.  They gave Rachel a social media guru to make sure she didn't post anything else controversial, Producer  Marc Platt he flew to New York to reprimand her.

On March 26th, 2025, a few days after the movie bombed on its first weekend, someone tweeted Marc's son Jonah saying that his father's actions were "creepy."  Jonah responded with what Vanity Fair called an "unhinged rant."

I read it.  He criticizes Rachel for forcing Marc  to "leave his family" and fly across the country to attempt damage control.  Her "selfish statement" destroyed the box office and jeopardized the livelihoods of the hundreds of people involved in filming: "blue collar workers."

JustJared posted an "OMG, I can't believe he would say that!"  Others pointed out that Marc Platt is 67, with grown children, so "leave his family?"  And the "blue collar" workers get paid regardless of how much money the movie makes. 

A few hours later, Jonah posted n*ude photos for his followers.  I don't know how that contributes to the dispute, but we'll see them later on.  First, who the heck are these people?

Marc Platt, born in 1957, grew up in New York, got a law degree from NYU, and worked as an entertainment lawyer before moving into production.  He has produced a number of popular and not-so-popular films, including Legally Blonde, Josie and the Pussycats, Scott Pilgrim vs, the World, Dear Evan Hanson, Better Nate than Ever, Babylon, and Wicked.  

He has five children, including:

Ben Platt, left, has been in a lot of Broadway plays, including Dear Evan Hanson, Camelot, The Book of Mormon, and Gutenberg: The Musical.  I've reviewed two of his films, Pitch Perfect and The People We Hate at Weddings.  

He came out to his parents at age 12, and married Noah Galvin in 2024.

According to the IMDB, Jonah Platt is "a multi-platform creator and performer whose unique career spans many facets of the entertainment industry."  Can we get beyond the buzz words? His Instagram just says  "Actor/Jewish Advocate/Dad," and host of the Being Jewish podcast.  The posts are all about his guests.

He's got 30 on-screen credits, including episodes of A Million Little Things, Harley Quinn, Country Comfort, and Uncoupled.  That last one starts Neil Patrick Harris as a 40-ish gay guy grieving over his deceased partner. 

Jonah has two movie roles of interest, but I can't find them on any of my streaming services:

Menorah in the Middle: A woman's father has a heart attack on Hannukah.

The List: Her boyfriend sleeps with a celebrity on his "free pass" list (a list of people your partner agrees to let you sleep with), so a woman gets upset and tries to sleep with someone on her list.  But you agreed that it was ok

Jonah's production credits include the upcoming Bookends, about a Jewish guy (Noam Ash) who has to move in with his grandparents after a breakup. I don't know if he's gay or not, but both Noam Ash and next-billed Jared Reinfeld have played gay characters. 

Jonah is also a singer.  In 2020 the three Platt brothers, Jonah, Ben, and Henry, recorded Ahavat Olam,  typically recited during the Maariv, the evening prayers.

Ahavat olam beit Yisra'el amcha ahavta, 

Torah umitzvot chukim.

Umishpatim otanu limad'ta.

Eternal love for Your people, House of Israel,

Torah and Mitzvot, laws

and precepts have You taught us.

The n*de photos are on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

See also: The People We Hate at the Wedding: Two sisters and their mum find love, but the gay guy doesn't

Noah Galvin: Seven gay characters, a Pride cake, and a husband, and people still think he's straight.

A Real Pain: Buddies have wacky adventures or a Dark Night of the Soul in Poland

Phil of the Future's Future: Former Disney teen Raviv Ullman on the Torah, wearing dresses, and his p*enis

Dale Stones: Boylesque performer practices his masculinity, shows his d*ck while tied up. With a bonus n*de vampire

Link to the n*de dudes

My rumble through nude celebrity sights resulted in Dale Stones, n*aked, tied to a St. Andrew's Cross,  in Blood of the Tribades (2016).

It's a pro-queer take on the lesbian vampire trope ("tribade" is an old term for lesbian).   A reviewer for the Boston Underground Film Festival calls it: "a love letter to offbeat lesbian vampire films that offers powerful discourse on self-identity, feminism, and the violence wrought from religious dogma."

His character is named Jacob, but doesn't appear in plot synopses.  Probably he's being sacrificed to the vampire cult.

Andrew C. Wiley (left) and Jake Vaughan also appear nude.  Maybe other sacrificial victims.

I don't want to see it -- doubtless it will be female body parts all the way down -- but I'm interested in Dale Stones.

Presumably it's  the stage name of an adult video performer ("stones" means "testicles," get it?).

Dale has five acting credits listed on the IMDB.

Tribades, plus segments copied in Grindsploitation 2: The Lost Reels and Trashploitation.

And two shorts:

Male Student in Bjorn (2015): A member of the college sketch comedy crew has big ideas.  It stars John Ovesen, then a student at Boston University, so I'm concluding that Dale was a student, too.

Sprinter in Irreparable (2019).

I couldn't find a Dale Stones adult video performer, but he is mentioned a lot on the Internet:

He participated in Elle Villanelle's Poetry Bordello at the Massachusetts Poetry Festival in 2017

He's a board member of the Boston Circus Guild.

His favorite vampire is Spike (James Marsters) from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  I can see why.

More after the break

Grosse Point Gardening Society: Heterosexuals garden, have affairs, and murder someone. With a hung Hodge and a Wolfe wang

  

Link to the wangs

Don't you hate it when you subscribe to a streaming service for one movie or tv show, and then find nothing else of interest?  We just finished Paramount Plus for Twin Peaks, and now we've in Peacock for Wicked, Nosferatu, and since I'm trying to watch everything from Adam Devine, the hottest guy on the planet,  Break Point.  Done. But I'm not going to spend $18 a month to watch three movies, so here's a review of Grosse Pointe Garden Society: one of the garden-society members is male, gardening is gay-coded, so surely he'll be gay.

Note: Grosse Pointe is an affluent suburb of Detroit.  It just means "big tip," as in tip of land, in French, but it sounds funny. 

Prelude: The gardeners dump a body into a hole they dug. The four stories are interspliced, but I'll separate them to make the plots easier to follow, and give them nicknames: From left to right, Entitled, Pink Hat, Male Gardener, and White Hat.

Pink Hat's Story: Six months earlier, a park area with a lot of flowers. Pink Hat puts up a "lost dog" flier on the community bulletin board and narrates: "They say people look like their dogs, but when you're in a garden club, you're more like the flowers you plant." She begins unloading geraniums, but the Snippy Leader tells her that they're not good enough to win the award this year. 

"I think I'd be a geranium," Pink Hat continues, flashing back to smooching with her underwear-clad boyfriend (they don't unclench long enough for a screen shot).  Then to her high school class, where they're discussing the Romantic Poets (that's the Romantic Era, 1790-1830, not "romance').  She hates it, although she does gaze lustfully at one of the Hunkoids (Christian Finlayson).

Cut to Hunkoid's Mom coming in to complain about her son's grade -- "D on a poem?"  He copied the lyrics to a Kenny Lamar song.  So why not an F?    Mom threatens.  

In other news, Pink Hat's application for a job at the New Yorker has been rejected. 

Later, Pink Hat and boyfriend (Alexander Hodge) have dinner with his parents, who criticize her writing ambitions and his job painting restaurant signs.  They want them to move into their rental property, four bedrooms and two baths, for when you have children.  "You know the heterosexist trajectory: job, house, wife, kids?  Have some kids, already."

Pink Hat doesn't thnk she wants kids, which horrifies them."  But...you have a uterus...

After the horrible dinner, Pink Hat meets Male Gardener outside a garage to drink.  He reveals that they found her missing dog -- she's dead.  At least it doesn't die on camera.  Someone shot her!  Pink Hat seethes for revenge.

At school, the Hunkoid who plagiarized his poem drops by to explain: "That song moved me."  White Hat isn't impressed.  So does this mean that you'll stop lusting after him?  "So why did you give me a D?  D means d*ck. You think I'm a d*ck."

He approaches threateningly, and hints that because she "got personal," he killed her dog.

Seething, Pink Hat complains to the Principal: "He's rude, disrespectful..." Arrogant?   But the Principal won't expell him, because his parents are rich: they built the lacrosse stadium, the library...well everything.  "We work for them; they can do what they want."

Hung Hodge is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.

So she accosts Hunkoid's mom at the beauty parlor and says that she's reconsidered his grade: now it's an F, "because you've failed him as a parent."  That's not a good reason.  "Your son killed my dog."  Not a good reason either. 

Cut to Pink Hat being fired for standing up to the rich people.  Hunkoid drives up in his new car to gloat. 

Potential Victim: Hunkoid or his Mom

Male Gardener's Story: He's Ben Rappaport, top photo, introduced talking to Pink Hat about cars: "Coyote-V8 with dual Blistein shocks. It's the exact '66 Bronco I restored with my Dad"  What's with the car talk at a garden club?  Are the writers trying to prove that this guy is "a real man," that is, heterosexual?

Pink Hat tells us that Male Gardener is a dandelion.  They can grow anywhere.  Cut to him bringing his two toddler kids to "see Mommy."  Heterosexual identity established at Minute 2.14, unless you count the car talk.  He bursts into the office to find Mom "pollinating with another flower," har har.   So they broke up, and now he's gazing longlingly at Pink Hat.

In the present,  Male Gardener drops off the kids at his ex-wife's elegant Tudor.  But he has them for two more minutes, so he forces them to stay in the car, while they complain and ex-wife and Current Husband (Josh Ventura) glare at him.  

Left: on his Instagram, Josh Ventura claims that he's one of these guys, the stars of the tv series Satisfaction.   His followers commiserate over having a guy lying next to him; that must have been awful! 

But he not actually in the photo. They are Family Man Matt Passmore and Blair Redford as the hustler his wife hired.  Josh appears in just one episode.

Back to Gardening Society: Male Gardener waits in the back yard, glaring, for the kids' clothes to be washed and dried (by the ex-wife, naturally). In other news, Husband is speaking at his kid's career day.  Male Gardener offers to do it, but they say "Don't be silly, you have an awful job."  But it's Ex-Wife's fault: she promised to stay home with the kids while he started his car restoration business, but then she had an affair and cancelled the deal.  

Male Gardener and Current Husband compete to see who can throw a football at the son (into sports, like all "real boys."  Annoyingly gender polarized).  

Later, Male Gardener is driving with his kids, when he callously drives by a stalled motorist, even though he's a skilled auto mechanic.  Then he thinks, this might be a way to prove that he has a bigger d*ck that Current Husband, so he turns around and helps, blabbing car trivia and grunting.   The Motorist wants to thank him somehow.  Male Gardener grins.  No, of course he doesn't have that in mind.  No gay people in this universe.

More after the break

Gemstones Episode 4.3: Keefe has s*x with the Devil. So does Eli. With a pole dancer's d* ck and the Groundskeeper's backside

Link to the d*cks 

Previous: Gemstones Episode 4.2, Continued: Pontius' private parts, Gideon's b*utt buddy, and JR's junk.  Plus Karen from "Will and Grace" sings

Title: "To Grieve Like the Rest of Men Who Have No Hope," 1 Thessalonians 4.13.  Paul is telling his followers not to grieve "like men who have no hope," since they will see their loved ones again in heaven.

The Intruder: 2002.  During a thunderstorm, an intruder breaks into the house, smashes a photo of Eli and Aimee-Leigh and some other memorabilia, and takes the gold-plated Bible from the Civil War.  Close up of a destroyed framed magazine cover promising "Hot Gossip" and featuring someone I don't recognize, maybe Brendan Fraser.

The intruder continues into the playroom and smashes a photo of the siblings and Kelvin's army men.  There's a muscle man in skimpy underwear, denoting that Kelvin is gay.

He lifts up the bed to find a hiding 12-year old Kelvin, who screams.  Notice the enclosed space. They will appear often in the episode, giving the viewer a sense of disquiet. The family is trapped.

Night Sweats: Kelvin awakens screaming from a nightmare.   Keefe notes that his nocturnal terrors and night sweats are getting worse, and uses a towel to daub him, but Kelvin insists that it was just a nightmare, and goes back to sleep. I'm worried about the night sweats, but surely they don't mean that Kelvin is sick.  

S*x with the Devil, Part 1: Kelvin hates storms; it's like the Devil is doing his business on you.  Keefe agrees, with a amazing monologue about the Devil pouring down his TT on people, who think it's a wine cooler or kombucha, and drink it.   He looks out into the storm and says "Your hot sorcery p* can't hurt us in here. Begone, Devil"  but the Dark Lord is already inside: Keefe has a no-hands org*asm. 

More after the break