Krapopolis Episode 2.14: Tyrannus on "The Bachelor," some gay guys at a party, Jordan Young, and Jerry O'Connell

Krapopolis (2023-25) is a Fox animation sitcom set in ancient Greece, where the inept demigod Tyrannus (Richard Ayoade) rules over a crappy city-state.  Many gods and heroes have guest shots, including Achilles, Heracles (the Greek form, for once), Hermes, Homer  (really?), Pan, Poseidon, Odin (makes as much sense as Homer). 

I'm reviewing Episode 2.14: "Love Trap, Baby," because Tyrannus becomes a contestant in a Bachelor-like dating show.  I want to see if any of the contestants are women.

Plus 1990s mega-hunk and gay ally Jerry O'Connell appears

Jordan Young, reputedly in the running for Tyrannus before they decided on Richard Ayoade, is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

Scene 1: A messenger from the city of Messenia appears before demigod King Tyrannus to see if he wants to barter for some squid.  Not interested: The Messenians forgot Poseidon's birthday, so he is making it rain squid, and Krapopolis is downwind.

Next visitor: Angelioforos, with an invitation and a gift (is it the hunkoids carrying the fruit basket?).  Their princess Lycosa is seeking True Love, so she is inviting all of the eligible bachelors in the area to come to her palace on the Paradise Peninsula for a contest.

Tyrannus' part-fish Half-Brother is cynical: this sounds like a scam.  But the rather naive Tyrannus agrees to go.

Scene 2: Tyrannus packing for the trip, asking fashion advice from his sister Stupendous, the gigantic leader of the city-state's army: slit to the thigh, or farther?  "Farther?"

Next he tells his parents, Shlub the manticore/centaur creature (Matt Berry) and Deliria, Goddess of Destruction and Questionable Choice, that he's leaving them in charge, and could they please not destroy or "fundamentally alter the character" of his city while he's away?

Scene 3: On the road, the siblings continue to complain.  

Back in Krapopolis, the parents complain: "He thinks we can't handle his city for a few hours?"  They plan an party, but the roads are too bad to draw anyone, so Deliria repairs them, and turns some enchanted carts into a train that will go from town to town.

More after the break

Superhero Sidekicks in Bondage

The pulp magazine covers of the 1930s and 1940s often featured a woman drawn in the style collectors called GGA or Good Girl Art, tied to something and about to be murdered or violated by a drooling villain, while the hero rushes to the rescue.  But in superhero comics, the teenage sidekick was either tied next to the GGA woman, or else tied up all alone, and while GBA is not an official comic book term, his muscles were displayed quite as prominently as her breasts, providing hours of fun and excitement for gay kids of the pre-Boomer generation.

The Human Torch’s sidekick Toro, nearly-naked, muscles straining, chest heaving, is tied spread-eagle in the path of a tank , tied to the barrel of a cannon, or being lowered into a buzz-saw machine.

 3 of the first 10 covers of Detective Comics after the introduction of Robin, and nine of the first thirty, feature a surprisingly fit Boy Wonder tied up and about to stabbed, shot, drowned, or otherwise violated, while Batman rushes to the rescue.

As World War II progressed, many other superhero comics followed suit. The magazine racks of every drugstore were overflowing with images of superheroes rushing to the rescue of bound-and-threatened GBA sidekicks.

Captain America rescues Bucky in eight of the first ten covers of his comic book, and fully half of the first thirty.  Bucky is often (but not always) drawn as a muscular teenager, and his green-skinned, fairy-tale ogre captors have devised much more creative methods of execution than Robin’s.  He is strapped to an operating table next to a monster, while a leering Nazi doctor prepares an injection; mummified and threatened with an Iron Maiden.

He is hanging from his wrists and threatened by hot coals....in a cemetery, about to be buried alive....thrown overboard with a 500-pound weight around his neck...

More after the break

Kelton Dumont in his birthday suit, plus birthday waffles, a costume party, and some backsides

 

Link to the n*de dudes

 This is a collection of photos from some of Kelton Dumont's birthdays, in backwards chronological order.  The n*de dudes are all over 18.

1. Nearing his 21st, with screen brother Gavin Munn

2. His 20th, with Dad James Dumont at  a WWE expo.

3. In case you haven't seen Kelton's backside lately.

4. 19th.  Kelton's birthday is close enough to Halloween to make costume parties feasible.

5. Not Kelton, a bud at the pool.

6. The big 18

More after the break

The Answer to the Muscleman's Question

 

Link to the n*de dudes (all over 18)

Today summer lasts for 12 weeks; I can see its beginning and end.  But when I was nine years old, lasted for months or years, or never ended: somewhere it's still that childhood summer, an endless succession of days, all bright green and dazzling.  

A week in Indiana, visiting my parents' family.

A week camping in Minnesota and Canada.  

Nazarene summer camp.  

Swimming lessons at Longview Park Pool.

 

The bookmobile every Tuesday. 

The Denkmann School Carnival.

  

Malts at Country Style. 

Vacation Bible School

Gold Key comic books at Schneider's Drug Store.

Dark Shadows.  H.R. Pufnstuf.  Tarzan Theater.

Posters of teen idols.

And the Muscleman's Question:

 All on a golden afternoon, probably a Saturday in July, in my Grandma's farmhouse in northern Indiana.  It's a big house, white frame.  The living room is pink, with flowered wall paper and thick drapes.

My brother and I are alone.  I don't remember why.  Maybe Mom and Dad have gone off somewhere, on an expedition of their own, leaving Grandma Davis to babysit, and she has stepped out.

We have just come in from something or other -- puttering around in the apple orchard, playing fetch with the dogs next door, exploring the old barn where Grandpa used to milk cows.  We kick off our shoes at the door.  

Maybe we're going to head up to our room which happens to be Dad's old room, with his pictures and schoolbooks and baseball glove), or up to the attic to sort through the bundles of old magazines in search of comic books.

I stop in front of the tv set, a big piece of furniture, wood-brown, with curved pillars on the sides.  There's an empty candy dish and a photo of my Cousin Phil on top. 

At our house the tv is almost always on, whether anyone is watchng or not, a stable, comforting background noise.  But Grandma keeps it off unless someone wants to watch a specific program.  It seems unnatural, wrong somehow.

I reach down and turn it on.

Kenny asks "What do you want to watch?"

I shrug. "I don't know.  Maybe Tarzan Theater."  On Saturday afternoons in Rock Island, when there isn't a game on, you can see old Tarzan and Bomba the Jungle Boy movies.

The black and white screen flickers, and then pops on.  A game.

I turn it to the next channel.  Some people talking.

"Find some cartoons," Kenny suggests.

There are only three channels, so only three choices.  I turn to the third.

A shirtless muscleman.

In my memory he reveals more than that, although he was probably wearing a leotard.  Definitely shirtless, though, with taut hard pecs and very thick hard biceps.

You never saw shirtless men on tv in those days, except in Tarzan movies, so I stand dumbstruck, frozen in place, realizing that I will remember this moment forever.

"What's this?" Kenny asks.

The man twirls and high-steps, bulging his calves, across a bare stage to a young blond woman.  Then, dancing a sort of tap dance, he asks "Who....are...youuuuuu?"

She starts a tap dance of her own, dances in front of him, and says "I....don't...know. Who...are...youuuuu?"

He stops dancing and glowers at her, his eyes dark, and replies.  "I am the Magic Mushroom."

At that moment, Grandma appears at the window leading to the kitchen.  "There's nothing for kids on now," she says. "Turn the tv off."

"Wait...I..."  I begin.   But Kenny obligingly turns it off.  

"Now who wants to help me bake a pie for dinner tonight?"

All in a golden afternoon.

More after the break

Case Walker: ChaseDreams from "The Other Two" grows up, plays a monster, shows his delts. With n*de Chase, Tarver, and Fin

 

Link to the n*de dudes

Case Walker was as a kid growing up in Denver who  weekly podcasts on musical.ly and other social media platforms, and within a year had 1.7 million followers and a new television program: The Other Two, on HBO Max were Brook and Cary Dubek (Heléne Yorke, Drew Tarver, left), a failed dancer and aspiring actor dealing with the sudden fame of their 13-year old brother, Chase (Case Walker), aka teen pop sensation ChaseDreams. 

At least in the first season (2019).  In the second and third seasons (2021, 2023), Brooke and Drew get the lion's share of plotlines, negotiating increasing success, friendships, and romances.

 

For instance, Drew dates Lucas (Fin Argus), a method actor who stays in character off camera and therefore refuses intimacy. 

ChaseDreams still appears in nearly every episode, but he has very few centrics.  The writers just didn't know what to do with him. Turn him into a bad boy, with pink hair and a lot of tattoos? Make him a fake mental health advocate?  Have him date a girl who isn't a fan?

Viewers mostly ignored him. It was much more interesting to see a non-swishy gay guy who actually had a romantic life.

While we weren't paying attention, Case grew up.  As of this writing, he's 22 years old, and buffed.  No, ripped.  No, a Greek god.

More after the break

"Real Men": Four Italian dudes suffering from toxic masculinity negotiate wives, jobs, n*dity, and plugs

 

According to the theory of hegemonic masculinity, as a boy grows up, parents, teachers, mass media, and all social institutions promote an image of masculinity with five characteristics.  He must meet them, or he will be a failure, not a "real man." However, no one ever meets all of them, so men always feel like they are failures, not good enough.  The five characteristics are:

1. Big Wheel.  

2. Sturdy Oak.  

3. Playboy. 

4. Flee from the Feminine. 

5. Give 'Em Hell.

Real Men, Maschi Veri, is an Italian comedy featuring four men who have tried too hard to meet the masculine expectations, and found their way into a workshop on toxic masculinity, as revealed in Episode 1, "Made in Italy."

Prologue: At the workshop, they are asked what makes them "real men," and then criticized for their answers.  Then the moderator asks "So, how did you end up here?"

Big Wheel Massimo (Matteo Martari, top photo): A woman in a Renaissance costume shows her stuff and tells us that we must protect works of art, while the Boss yells at Big Wheel: "We can't broadcast this!  It's s*exist!" 

Big Wheel: "No, it's a beautiful girl with big...parts!  Every man on Earth likes big parts, right?  Our product is sure to sell!" 

Too many s*exist commercials, like the MILF Italy Contest, plus harassing the women in the office: he's fired.

Later, at the pickleball game, Big Wheel tells the guys. "I was replaced by a WOMAN, can you believe it?  They think I'm not as good as a woman!  How humiliating!"  

Cut to his big house with a heated pool, where he lies, telling the Wife that he quit.  She is irate.  "No way I'm going back to retail!" 

In the morning, he finds dog poop on the bedroom carpet, and the maid won't clean it up.  The Wife is doing a yoga podcast to make money.  How humiliating!

Playboy Riccardo (Francesco Montanari): He is schtupping his lady.  She moans; he congratulates himself on doing a good job using sports terminology: "I scored two amazing goals!" They smooch; she asks for a repeat, but he has to go: his other girlfriend is taking him out to dinner. 

 This dude is amazingly femme. I hadn't just seen him scoring two goals with a lady, I'd identify him as gay.

The side piece thinks that Other Girlfriend is going to break up with him.  "Why would she do that?" Playboy asks.  "We're a perfect couple."  The schtuping?  It's a biological need; all men have to have side pieces, or they'll explode."  Backside shot.

At the pickleball game, Playboy tells the guys about his dinner with the Other Girlfriend tonight; they think that she's pregnant, a good thing for him.  He's a Real Man, so it will certainly be a boy, and when women see how masculine he is, they'll want to get with him.  A baby boy is a chick magnet! 

Cut to the dinner, where the Other Girlfriend is too embarrassed to say it, so she draws something that looks like a pregnant woman.  Playboy jumps up and yells that he's a father.  No, that's not what she meant: she's bored, and wants an open relationship.

Playboy is irate: he has a side piece because he's a man with needs, but women shouldn't want anyone else!

Sturdy Oak Mattia (Maurizio Lastrico): He's a tour guide, taking a group through a Roman building and yelling at the costumed actors, when the ex-wife tells him that their 17-year old daughter has disappeared!  She turned off her trackers and won't answer her phone.   He calls: she wants nothing to do with Mom.  She's moved into Sturdy Oak's house.   

He hands over the guide job to his coworker (Angelo Faraci) and rushes off.

At home, Daughter explains why she wants to live with Dad: "Mom, you're a control freak!  You're smothering me!"  Plus Sturdy Oak can help her with "how I feel about men."  Why, do you not like men?  Do you think Mattia can heterosexualize you? 

Later, as she moves her stuff in, Sturdy Oak asks if she wants to watch tv tonight.  No, she's going out to dinner, which in Italy means 11:00 pm.   

She suggests that Sturdy Oak go out too, since he's divorced now, and ready to "slide into DMs" (heterosexual hookups).  "You have to get with at least ten women to get over Mom."  "Nope, I'm not interested in a new relationship.  I don't experience emotion."  But she signed him up for Tinder anyway, and arranged a date for tomorrow night.

More after the break

Alexi Kapishnikov: two acting roles, commercials, modeling, a polar plunge....and n*de photos? In Russia?

Link to the n*de dudes

I'm not into the tattoos, but I'm into this guy's washboard abs and enormous c*ck.

His name is Aleksey or Alexi Kapishnikov, and his n*de photos are making the rounds of internet celebrity sites.  There are also some more ex*plicit shots from a gay Slovenian website called Trezubec (now down).

He has only two acting credits on the IMDB.

1. Anton, a lawyer, in an episode of the Russian tv series Triada (Triptych, 2019-21): Tolya suddenly has three pregnant women on his hands, his wife, his mistress, and a one-night stand.

There's a Tryptych tv series on Netflix, but it must be a different one: it begins with a woman entering a building, shooting a lot of people, then taking a hostage to the roof and making them both plunge to  their deaths.

2. The Russian movie Liza (2023) has Topol (Alexi) mourning his dead wife and trying to save the life of the dying daughter of his best friend.  Yuck.

But I'm not giving up on Aleksei.  For one thing, I love the Russian language.  I remember the first time I encountered the Cyrillic alphabet, in a book in the children's room of the Rock Island Public Library.  It was so captivating that I made a photocopy to take home, even though I wouldn't actually study Russian until college.

There  must be more information on Alexi out there somewhere.

The Smart Models Club just gives his measurements: Height 183 cm, bust 100 cm, waist 82 cm, shoe size 43.

Kinolift, a Russian modeling agency, says that he's 35 years old, lives in Moscow, can speak English with a dictionary, and graduated from ASU (Altai State University?) in 2012.

And some other acting roles: "Bullet -- glamourous specials, " 2019, and commercials for Whiskas and Samsung Gear Sport 3.

His Instagram, under the name Lesha Kapishnik, has a lot of modeling photos, and some photos of friends and family.  

More after the break

Alexander Polinsky: Adam on "Charles in Charge" grows up, models props, goes Furthur. With Andrew Keegan, Julian Sands, and some d*cks

 

 

Link to the n*de dudes

I get a lot of page views with profiles of former child stars and teen idols who have gone on to a hunk adulthood, so naturally I was drawn to Charles in Charge (1984-1990), with Scott Baio as a college student working as a live-in nanny in...um...a household full of teenage girls far too old for a nanny.

There were boys around, too, but Jonathan Ward and Michael Pearlman from the 1984-85 version can't be found.  That leaves Alexander Polinsky, who appeared as Adam Powell in 104 episodes in the second version (1986-90).  

The show was focused on Charles, his buddy Buddy (Willie Aames), and the two teenage girls, so Adam didn't get a lot of centrics: he is harassed by a bully, gets a crush on a girl, takes a babysitting job.  I recall one episode where Adam has to explain that he doesn't like playing football.  He starts off with a list of the sports he does like, lest Charles get the idea that he is a sissy/ gay..  

Left: Alex with fellow 1990s teen stars Stephen Dorff and Brian Austin Green

After Charles, the 14-year old had guest spots on Billy (about a Scottish comedian), The New Lassie (about a dog), and Joe's Life (about a stay-at home Dad), and starred in Pumpkin II: Blood Wings (1994): teenagers accidentally unleash an ancient demon, who kills them all except the Final Girl.

In Perfect Fit (2000), Dick (Alex) "turns to murder" to satisfy his girlfriend, a blue jeans devotee. 

Former Colt model and soap opera actor Nick Benedict appears as Thomas, one of the jeans donors (n*de photo on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

Since the 2000s, Alex has been involved mostly in his prop modeling and voiceover animation: 

Control Freak in Teen Titans

Garrett in Alpha Teens on Machines

Chameleon Boy in Legion of Superheroes.

Jimmy Olsen in Batman: The Brave and the Bold

Unicorns 1 and 2 in Breadwinners

Several characters in Monster High: the Series

He returned to live action for the the anthology movie Locker 13 (2014).  In Segment 3, Alex plays a mental patient considers jumping off a building, until the fast-talking Jason Marsden tells him about a club where members bet on when and how people will off themselves.

Ricky Schroder appeared in another segment as a down-and-out boxer who finds sinister gloves that let him win every match -- for a price.

Roger Ebert.com tells us: "Rarely do I find a movie that is so appalling if not outright insulting to all of humanity (and particularly, in this case, womankind) that it gives me a stomach ache, but Locker 13 really put me off my Cobb Salad."

Still, Alex highlights his segment in his acting demo reel.

More after the break

Josh Fadem: From Tulsa to "Twin Peaks," with Groundlings, zombies, coffee, a glory hole, and his d*ck

  

Link to the d*cks

We've been watching the 2017 sequel to Twin Peaks, the 1990s cult series about paranormal events in a quirky small town.  

The darn thing makes no f*king sense.  

The main plot, as far as I can figure out, involves the spirit of FBI Agent Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLaughlin), trapped in the Red Room 25 years ago with ghosts and demons who talk backwards and make cryptic statements.  Meanwhile, his body, named Dougie, took a job at an insurance agency in Las Vegas, had a wife and son, did something that got him targeted by the mob, and consorted with prostitutes.

After 25 years, Dale's spirit returns to Dougie's body, but can't perform everyday tasks, speak more than parroted words, or understand anything -- yet no one notices!  

In Episode 1.5, his wife dresses him in a ridiculous lime-green suit and drops him off at his office, where of course he just stands there until gopher Philip Bisby (Josh Fadem) notices, gives him a cup of coffee, and escorts him to his staff meeting, where he just stands there.  

Coffee guy Philip appears again in Episodes 1.6 and 1.7, luring Dougie with coffee and escorting him to the boss's office.  I found something homoerotic in the exchange: Philip sort of likes Dougie. 

He is cute -- and short, 5'9" to Kyle's 6'0" -- so I started looking for the other work of actor Josh Fadem, and maybe some n*de photos.

I thought he was a recent college graduate, new to Hollywood, on his first acting gig, it turns out Josh Fadem was in his mid-30s in 2017.  He now has 159 acting credits, 40 writing credits, a wikipedia article, and a number of n*de photos.

He was born in Tulsa, Oklahoma in 1980, and  graduated from Booker T. Washington High School.  Imagine being Jewish in Bible Belt, Oral Roberts University Tulsa. 

He moved to Los Angeles in 2000, trained with the Uptight Citizens Brigade and the Groundlings, and appeared in countless comedy shows, including It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, The Whitest Kids U Know, UCB Comedy Originals, The Bank Room, The Midnight Show, Key and Peele, Superstore, Minx, and American Dad.

And a lot of heterosexist shorts, like The Do It Up Date and I Think She Likes You.

On the other hand, The Gory Hole sounds provocative.

Josh is best known as Simon Barrons, assistant to Tina Fey's Liz Lemons on three episodes of 30 Rock (2009-2012).

And as Marshall Dixon, also called Joey, a University of New Mexico film student/teacher hired by unethical lawyer Saul in 14 episodes of Better Call Saul (2015-22).  Marshall doesn't seem to get any plot arcs of his own, but according to the Google AI, he has a gay subtext.

More after the break. Caution: explicit.

Marcus Adair: Football player, stunt man, Jabari warrior, mercenary, n*de model

    

Marcus Adair has had a busy life: U.S. Air Force Academy, then the University of Arkansas, where he started in electrical engineering but changed to finance.  Well, calculus is hard.  

Two years playing football for the Dallas Cowboys, then an actor/producer of commercials for local gyms.

Link to the n*de photos

And of course a pro bodybuilder.  Here he wins the NPC Seaboard Competition,

Are there any openings for posing strap fitter?

Now he considers himself primarily a stunt performer, with work in Black Panther, Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, Queen of the South, and Star.

Left: some Jabari warriors.

I swear, I am just looking at his abs.

More Marcus after the break

Pernille: Norwegian angst comedy with a gay dad, a bi nephew (probably), a gay wedding (almost), lots of funerals, and n*de Vikings

 

Link to the n*de dudes

I did my undergrad at a Swedish Lutheran college, where everyone had to read Ibsen and Strindberg (ugh!), and listen to Peer Gynt (shudder), so I don't trust Scandinavian fiction.  Even the comedies tend to the dark and dreary.  So, when Pernille (2021-24), renamed from the Norwegian Pørni for obvious reasons, appeared on Netflix as a "triumph of Norwegian television," I decided to do a little research before jumping in:

1. Any gay characters?  

2. How many deathbed scenes?

The premise: Pørni, a single mother (until she starts dating Bjørnar  in Episode 1.2), works for child protective services. After her sister's tragic death, she becomes responsible for her teenage nephew Leo (Jon Ranes)

Left: Gunnar Eiriksen plays Bjørnar, but I think this is a different one.

 Episode 1.3, "Don't Get a Boyfriend, Please":  "When Leo has an angry outburst during a match, Pørni urges him to deal with the elephant in the room." 

The elephant must have something to do with the request to not get a boyfriend.  Leo must be gay, and Auntie Pørni disapproves.

Nope, the elephant is: His dad killed his mother, and wll probably go to prison, but Leo hates him, and thinks that he should have died. 

Pørni advises that, regardless of the anger he feels, Leo owes the kid he attacked an apology, and he shouldn't have called him "mongo."  Not a gay slur -- it refers to a mental disability.

Episode 1.6: Leo has a "Big Day," but when I checked, it turned out to be his confirmation (joining the Lutheran Church).  And the guy sitting next to him is a family member, not a boyfriend.

Leo next appears in the plot synopsis in Episode 2.3, when a girl named Rains appears, and everyone is shocked: "I thought they broke up."  "No, they're just open to seeing other people."  Heterosexualized in Season 2!

But in Episode 5.6, which I skimmed through for another reason, Auntie Pørni asks Leo, "Have you seen Lukas lately?" with that eager gleam that you doubtless recognize from your childhood, when your parents were playing matchmaker.  He responds, "Not since I picked up the t-shirts for the bachelor party.  Why?"  "Oh, no reason."  Gleam, gleam, knowing smile. 

They use he/him pronouns: Lukas is a guy.  And it sounds very much as if Pørni is trying to push them together.  Maybe Leo has come out as bi.    

Actor Jon Ranes plays a youth gang member in the concurrent Flus (2022-24), and sings under the name Loverboy.  I don't know if he's gay in real life or not, but I have my suspicions.

I was so invested in skipping over the darkness, depression, and unyielding agony of life in Scandinavian comedies that I missed the elephant in the room:

Episode 1.1: While dealing with the grief over her sister's murder, Pørni learns that her elderly father (Nils Ole Oftenbro) is dying of an incurable brain tumor.  As he will be dead soon, he reveals a secret that he has been keeping for 70-plus years.

Yep he's gay.  And the brain tumor was a misdiagnosis.  He's fine; well, terribly depressed, but in a Scandinavian comedy, who isn't?  

Left: Nils Ole Oftenbro, early photo.  He's been acting since the 1960s.

 

More after the break.