Dead Man on Campus

Speaking of Mark-Paul Gosselaar, rent or stream Dead Man on Campus (1998).  It's a dark comedy about two college students, Cooper (Mark) and Josh (Tom Everett Scott) who attempt to cash in on the urban legend that when your roommate dies,you get automatic A's for the semester.

Some beefcake, lots of shirtless shots, and check out the scene where Josh is in his dorm room, trying to get some sleep, when Cooper brings a girl home and jumps in bed with her.  The camera is focused on the consternation of the roommate, but if you look carefully in the top right of the screen, you can see Mark Paul Gosselaer rising to the occasion.

And you get two cute guys, a strong homoerotic subtext, and almost none of the casual homophobia endemic in buddy comedies. What's not to like?

Michael Callan: A Gay Guy and His Pretend Wife

One of the most iconic beefcake moments of my childhood came in Mysterious Island, the 1961 adaption of the Jules Verne classic about some Civil War soldiers who end up lost on a mysterious island with giant crabs, prehistoric auks, and Captain Nemo.

The 1960s version added some women to up the hetero-romance, but made up for it by divesting Michael Callan of his shirt. 

The scene where he and his girlfriend get trapped by giant bees is still frightening today.

Michael Callan was the go-to guy for teenage beefcake in the 1960s, wandering between Disney, ARP, and anyone else who would put a shirtless scene.  I've seen him as a bulgeworthy circus aerialist in The Flying Fontaines (1959), a troubled high schooler in Because They're Young (1960), a gang member in West Side Story (1961), a teen dancer in Gidget Goes Hawaiian (1961), and a rascally cowboy in Cat Ballou (1965). 

He also took off his shirt in Bon Voyage (1962), The Interns (1962), The Victors (1963), and who knows what else?

Although he always seems to have his arms around a girl, many of Michael's early movies involve as much buddy-bonding as girl-kissing.  He bonds with Warren Berlinger in Because They're Young, Cliff Robertson in The Interns, and Dwayne Hickman (left) in Cat Ballou.  

The sitcom Occasional Wife (1966-67) seems to have been a sitcom about a gay guy and his "beard."  Businessman Peter (Michael Callan) knows that he can't get ahead without being married, so he convinces his gal pal Greta (Patricia Hartley) to pretend to be his wife.

Plots involve backstabbing coworkers, people suspecting their secret, and Greta's boyfriend suspecting that they're really involved, but no hetero-romance for Peter.  You can see some episodes on youtube.

In real life Michael was married three times, and doesn't have a lot of gay rumors attached to him, though Dwayne Hickman spends many pages of his autobiography describing their warm friendship.

"The Tick": Can a Man and a Boat Find Love?

I'm completely obsessed  over the relationship between a man in a moth costume and a talking boat.

The Tick. created by Ben Edlund in 1986, is a superhero parody that examines how being super might play out in the real world, where the rent is due, buildings you smash up have to be repaired, and you suffer from anxiety and depression over "being different."

The comic book, animated series, and tv series versions have all been slightly different, but the Tick and Arthur always capitalize on the superhero-sidekick homoerotic bond: they live together, share expenses, share a bed, bicker like a married couple.  The 2001 series, with Patrick Warburton as The Tick, was called "the gayest show on tv" for dealing with issues like coming out to parents and gay adoption.

The latest adaption, on Amazon Prime (2016-2019),is even more gay.  In previous versions, Arthur gets girlfriends to sort of diffuse the gay coding, but here, he (Griffin Newman) does not express any heterosexual interest.  Neither does the Tick (Peter Serafinowicz).  Everyone accepts them explicitly as a couple.  They are invited to parties together; Mom invites "the two of you" to dinner; they apply for official superhero status as a pair.

Of course, they are not actually lovers; the Tick is happy to see Arthur "getting out there" and dating new people.  Or new boats.

Fellow  superhero Overkill (Scott Speiser) has a sentient boat named Dangerboat (voiced by Alan Tudyk in a parody of Kitt , the talking car from Knightrider).  Early in the series, Dangerboat announces that he identifies as male.  This starts out a little discomforting, like a transphobic joke, but after the initial “identifies as” scene, everyone just accepts that Dangerboat is a male boat. Furthermore, he is gay, attracted to both male boats and male humans. He was in love with his previous owner,  Michael, and now he has a crush on Arthur.

He gets a  little frisky while Arthur is taking a shower (inside him).,but then he apologizes, and just asks Arthur out (or in) to movies.Arthur keeps blowing him off. (“Just date the boa!” I yelled at the screen.“You could do worse.” )

 Tick is enthusiastic about the potential romance,but Arthur isn’t sure – a man dating a boat? How would that even work?  (Gay human couples get the same response).  “”I don’t want to confuse him, or confuse me.  I’m already confused.  He’s just a boat, right?”

Thing come to a head when Dangerboat has a post-traumatic episode over Michael’s death, and Arthur talks him down from a "deep cleansing" that would kill them all: “I know what it’s like to lose someone you love”   Dangerboat admits that he loves Arthur, and Arthur responds "I know you do."

Darn.

Later, Dangerboat apologizes for losing it, and hopes that they can still be friends.  “We are friends,” Arthur affirms.

Darn.

So I guess they won't be dating.  But I still think Arthur could do worse.

By the way, this version also has a lof beefcake.  Arthur is nude frequently, and there are glimpses of other superheroes, like Superion  (Brendan Hines).  Not the Tick - Peter Serafinowicz doesn't look like that in real life, anyway.

Plus a Season 1 plot arc involves the Very Large Man, an ordinary guy zapped with a ray that makes him 200 feet tall.  At that height, he's no longer sentient, but he does have a 20 foot long penis.

The perennial question: smart but tiny, or dumb but hung?

See also: 10 Things You Should Know about "The Tick"