Link to the n*de photos

I found some very impressive photos belonging to someone named Johnny Karn, actor, with the most incredible d*ck you've every seen. Even if he's a straight jerk, he's getting a profile.

#1: Is he gay in real life? This requires checking his Instagram, Facebook, or in a pinch, TikTok.

Gay potential: "Two homies are standing up against bullying."

But Homie #2 is Alex Sola, whose Instagram consists almost entirely of photos establishing his marriage to the Most Beautiful Woman in the World. The Homies were just pretending to be gay.

Plus Johnny poses with a woman and two young girls, saying: "Drinking deep from the chalice of life and holding our loved ones close."

Not only straight, but straight and pretentious.

I already dislike this guy, but who cares? His membrum virile is magnificent by every measure: length, width, and so on.

#2: Has he played any gay characters? This requires checking the IMDB, and maybe some episode synopses.

Research problem: there's no Johnny Karn. The IMDB suggests Johnny Carson and John Karn, whose only screen credit is Jinxed (2000). Our guy ain't Johnny Carson, and he's too young to be John Karn.

Turns out that he goes by John Karna on stage, and Johnny Karn in everyday life.

Johnny Karn -- I mean John Karna -- was born in 1992 in Harris County, Texas. Ugh, I spent the worst year of my life in Hell-fer-Sartain, Harris County, as an English instructor at Homophobia U.

He graduated from Stanford High School in 2011, and enrolled at the University of Oklahoma as a musical theater major. That's only marginally better.

During his freshman year, he started his on-screen acting career with Bindlestiffs (2012): three high school guys, including Johnny as John Woo, are desperate to lose their virginity.

He was also cast in as the lead in Premature, which premiered in 2014 at the SXSW FIlm Festival: A high school boy has to relive losing his virginity over and over until he meets with the right girl. What's with this "losing your virginity" theme?

Among his misadventures: having to pleasure himself for the men's volleyball team when he calls them homophobic, although they are allies, and one of the team members is gay.

Johnny's very attractive backside is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.

IndieWire named Johnny one of the "top 10 breakout stars" of 2014, so he dropped out of college and moved to Los Angele. Much better. Get a place in West Hollywood.

More after the break

Some guest spots followed, including a Season 6 episode of Modern Family (2014). He plays the boyfriend of Alex (Ariel Winter), who is extremely intelligent. Her relatives think that intelligence is a turn-off, so they conclude that this "boyfriend" is imaginary -- until he comes to the door.

Here Johnny is buddying up with Nolan Gould, who played the less-than-intelligent Luke.

I posted a profile of Nolan Gould with a nice d*ck shot, but it only got like 53 page views, so I deleted it. No one wanted to see Luke's junk.

But I guarantee you'll want to see Johnny.

Johnny is best known as Noah on Scream: The Series (2015-16), another high school virgin (until halfway through Season 1) who runs a true crime podcast called The Morgue: "Some guys like sports. I like serial killers." Both of his girlfriends are murdered by the psycho-slasher.

And for some movies:

The Blazing World (2021): A young woman with a dead sister seeks a parallel world where she is still alive. It sounds like a fun sci-fi, but according to a review, it's "steeped in heartache, trauma, and loss." Johnny plays Blake, presumably her boyfriend.

The Dead Thing (2025): A young woman "lost in a series of meaningless connections" falls in love with a man who has a "dark secret." Johnny plays one of her hookups.

Foibles (2025): "A struggling codependent with a hero complex" (Johnny) tries to get his girlfriend to drink herself sober. Things get messy -- literally. It's a horror movie.

Enough. Straight and pretentious, playing only straight characters in pretentious gloomfests. F*k the Sadness.

Let's take a look at that d*ck: one of the most beautiful cocks I've ever seen, and I've seen thousands, in real life, in movies, and online. It must be frustrating to have your partners gaze in awe instead of going downtown (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

Wait -- he invites to ___ on said member. Are you sure you're not gay, Johnny?