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Midwest
1. Illinois. Tough call, since I grew up in Rock Island and went to college there. But I'm going to go with Dylan, the 28-year old retro twink met in 2015. He acted like it was still 1985.
2. Indiana. Another tough call: visits to relatives twice a year, graduate school at Indiana University, visiting my parents in Indianapolis. I'm going to go with Tyler, the "son" of my first boyfriend Fred, who I met in 2012. He was actually the son of Fred's housemate, but I still got a weird family vibe.
3. Iowa. Davenport, Iowa was right across the river from Rock Island. Plus I've been to Des Moines several times. But my favorite hookup was with a 48-hour long date with Sammy, the son of my old speech teacher Mr. Blowfish, a Swedish-Vietnamese art history professor who took me on a 36 hour date in Cornell, Iowa.
5. Minnesota. At a conference in St. Peter, Minnesota, I picked up a Vietnamese undergrad at an art gallery, but ended up on a date with his gym rat cousin.
6. Nebraska. In 1980 my boyfriend Fred and I moved to Omaha for a terrible month. He brought home Mike, a teenager from his youth group at church. Years later I tried to find Mike again. He had died, but I found out from his nephew that he kept a picture from that night all his life.
8. Wisconsin. We lived in Racine, Wisconsin from Kindergarten through second grade, but of course I was too young for sausage sightings. I didn't meet anyone in Wisconsin until January 2014, when I went to Milwaukee for a post-Christmas vacation, and picked up Superman.
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Northeast
9. Connecticut. When I was living on Long Island, my first year in grad school, I went out on a date with a guy who lived in Greenwich, Connecticut, three hours away by train. I spent the night, and the next day he gave me the wrong directions, so I had to spend 2 hours standing on a train platform.
10. Maine. In 2010, my boyfriend Troy and I went to the gay resort town of Ogunquit, Maine. I don't care much for resorts, but we did manage to pick up a guy on the beach.
11. New Hampshire. Drove through, but didn't stop.
12. Rhode Island. In 2000, Yuri and I visited my friend Zack, who was studying at the Rhode Island School of Design.
13. Vermont. On the way back from Maine in 2010, Troy and I stayed overnight in Burlington, Vermont, and hooked up with an undergrad French major at Middlebury College.
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14. Delaware. I've only been here once, when Jermaine, the Biggest Guy on My Sausage List, took me to Bowers Beach for his uncle's 50th birthday party.
15. Maryland. November 2016: Three guys in my bed in Baltimore, each more hung than the last.
16. New Jersey. When I lived in New York, one night I broke every rule of gay cruising and ended up in the house of a cute Hispanic guy, with his parents in the next room, somewhere in New Jersey.
Southeast
20. Florida. I lived in Wilton Manors for 4 years, but my most memorable hookup was probably when David and I drove down to Key West, and picked up the hitchhiker.
The full list, with nude photos and sexual situations, is on Tales of West Hollywood.
Sorry, for the "Maryland" entry, I meant "each bigger than the last."
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