The Prisoner: We Want Information

When I was a little kid, we had only 3 stations, but sometime in the early 1970s, we got PBS -- the Public Broadcasting System -- and with it, a British invasion.  Suddenly I could see Doctor Who, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Monty Python's Flying Circus, The Tomorrow People, and even fluffy comedies like Father Dear Father and No, Honestly.  I guess they figured that anything British was bound to be educational. They were certainly easier to find subtexts in.

Take The Prisoner, which appeared in Britain in 1966-67, and on PBS in the mid-1970s.

The plot: a British secret agent (Patrick McGoohan) resigns, angrily, then goes home and packs for a trip.  He is gassed, and awakens in a scenic, well-scrubbed Village, where everyone has a number rather than a name ("You are Number Six.").  The Villagers are mostly kidnapped secret agents, from a variety of countries, more or less brainwashed and docile.











The mysterious Number Two, who is in charge of the Village, wants "information."  Number Six wants to escape, or, failing that, to find out who his keepers are.  But plots soon moved beyond the "Why did you resign?" maguffin to explore questions of conformity and individuality.  In order to live together in a community, we must require certain behaviors and banish others, but at what point does the need for conformity impinge upon the rights of the individual to think and feel what he pleases?

It was heady viewing for teenagers in the 1970s, on the par with Animal Farm and Brave New World.  And it was especially evocative for gay teenagers, who were told, day after day, hour after hour, "You must conform. You must desire the opposite sex, date, have sex, marry."

The gay symbolism made up for a decided lack of beefcake -- handsome Patrick McGoohan never so much as unbuttoned a button, not even to work out.  And a lack of bonding -- though there might be a homoerotic subtext in the cat-and-mouse game played by Number Six and the current Number Two (the Village leader changed in almost every episode).

However, there was one plus: virtually no heterosexual content.  Sometimes Number Six got a girlfriend, or pretended to in order to harass Number Two, but they never kissed.  McGoohan had it written in his contract -- no kissing girls (but not because he was gay; he wanted to stay faithful to his wife).

McGoohan starred in many other movies during the 1970s and 1980s.  He is perhaps most famous for playing King Edward in Braveheart  (1995), and eliciting homophobic audience cheers by pushing his gay son's lover out a window.  Not that I believe McGoohan, who died in 2009, actually condoned throwing gay people out of windows.

Gay Connections on "The Facts of Life"

The Facts of Life (1979-1988) was a TGIF sitcom (that aired on Wednesday nights) about four girls with disparate backgrounds who, for contrived  reasons, are working in the cafeteria of a private girls' school under their boss/mentor  Mrs. Garrett (Charlotte Rae)

In the first season, there were a lot of girls, and  "the facts of life" referred specifically to universal heterosexual desire ("when the boys you used to hate, you date"), but after that the show concentrated on the Fab Four and general Life Lessons.

When the world never seems to be livin up to your dreams
And suddenly you're finding out, the facts of life are all about you.

Wait -- I thought adolescence was a time of infinite possibility.  The world doesn't start squashing your dreams until your mid-20s.

Oh, well, the four girls were (clockwise from bottom left):

1.  Young, black, catchphrase-spouting Tootie (Kim Fields).  One episode I saw had her in a mania over pop star Jermaine Jackson, which caused Mrs. Garrett to reminisce about the Frank Sinatra mania of her youth.  She learns to be more cautious and less impulsive.

2. Spoiled rich girl Blair, whose parents basically own the school (Lisa Whelchel).  She learns humility.

3.Motorcycle-riding juvenile delinquent Jo (Nancy McKeon), whom everyone assumed was a lesbian, but she was straight (on the show, anyway).  She learns to solve her problems with words, not with fists.

4. Natalie (Mindy Cohn), who makes self-depricating jokes about being portly or Jewish, or both.  She learns to overcome her poor self-image.  Later in the series, she has sex with her boyfriend (after discussing it in detail with every character except Blair; a conservative Christian, Lisa Whelchel refused to be in the episode).

There were some men running around occasionally, such as George Clooney before he became a big star as a handyman-hunk, and Mackenzie Astin as a vulnerable kid that the girls sort of adopt.

No gay references, except in the first episode (August 24, 1979), when Blair criticizes another girl for being a tomboy, and insinuates that she is "strange" (hat is, a lesbian).  Mrs. Garrett takes control and helps the girl become more feminine.  Problem solved.

Also, there's the ongoing lesbian subtext with Jo, and for several seasons Cousin Geri (Geri Jewell, a comedian with cerebral palsy) was a regular, and more or less obviously lesbian,

Geri Jewell is gay in real  life, Mackenzie Astin is bisexual, and most of the other cast members are gay allies.  Even Lisa Whelchel; not all conservative Christians are screeching homophobes (see her interview in Chicago's gay newspaper, the Windy City Times).

"Blow the Man Down": Take As Much Time as You Need

I've heard the sea shanty "Blow the Man Down," or at least parts of it, many times, but I never thought of the double-entendre meaning before.  Until Amazon Prime offered a movie with Blow the Man Down as the title. Must be gay porn.  I'm in!

Scene 1: Establishing shot of Easter Cove, Maine.  Some fishermen are gutting fish and singing: "When boys become greenhorns, and greens become mates, give me some time to blow the man...um...down."

Sure, take all the time you need. Once it took me 45 minutes to...um.....

Scene 2: Priscilla (right and Mary Beth (left) stand on the beach, talking about how much they loved their mother. Then they go to the funeral.

Meanwhile, a man chases a woman through the snow, while Mrs. Garrett from The Facts of Life watches from her window.

Scene 3: Mom's wake. The Town Biddies discuss how much Mom helped them over the years, and advise Priscilla to attend the U. of Maine in the fall, where "they have the hottest boys."

Let's see some.  So far this is a quite heteronormative community of women.

They argue.  Mary Beth gets mad and leaves.

Scene 4: Mary Beth goes to a bar and picks up a Sleazoid (Ebon Moss Bachrach, left).  Well, what other options does she have?  There are no other guys in town.

As they're driving home, they crash into the town statue.  She opens his trunk, sees bloody sheets and ropes, and changes her mind about the hookup He turns violent, so she kills him in self defense.

Great, there goes the only guy in town.

Scene 5:  Mary Beth and Priscilla start to call the police, but change their minds, for some reason.  They go back to dispose of Sleazoid's body, but they have to cut off its arms so it will fit in the cooler.

A Greek chorus of singing fishermen serenade them.

Scene 6: Officers Hunk (Will Brittain, top photo) and Gordo (Skip Sudduth) are investigating the town statue mishap.  Meanwhile, Blond Hooker rushes to work at the Oceanview Bed and Breakfast, the town brothel, where Mrs. Garrett is the Madam.  They wonder why Sleazoid hasn't shown up for work. Was he a male prostitute?  Is Oceanview an equal opportunity employer?

Scene 7:  Officer Hunk stops by to ask Priscilla to borrow her boat to go pick up a body that washed up on the beach. Uh-oh.  But it's not Sleazoid it still has arms!  And it's a woman....

Scene 8: The Biddies discuss their disapproval of the brothel.  Then they accost Mrs. Garrett at the hair salon, and inform her that the dead woman is one of her employees, so she's crossed a line and needs to shut the brothel down.

This is just a little Peyton Place, and you're all Harper Valley hypocrites.

Scene 9: Mrs. Garrett goes to the Sleazoid's house, and finds the knife the girls used to dismember the corpse.  It has their name embossed on it.  Stupid!

At home, Mary Beth hides a huge bag of cocaine.  What?

Scene 10:  Blond Hooker has an appointment with the Biddies.  But they don't want sex, they want een-for-mation.  Did her boss at the brothel, Mrs. Garrett, kill her coworker? 

Scene 11:  Officers Hunk and Gordo visit the brothel.  Gordo is a regular: "Hey, Daddy.  Come on in and wet your cock.  You want your usual?"  Hunk is shocked.

They interview Mrs. Garrett about the dead girl and the missing Sleazoid ("Weirdo, not from Easter Cove").  

She gives them a lead: check out Declan, who works the docks, "where lots of things go in and out").  Nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more. The town has both a brothel and street...er, dock...prostitution.  Is it all sex, all the time?

Scene 12:  Hunk and Gordo interview Old Guy Declan, bringing donuts as a bribe.  He doesn't know anything, so Hunk interviews Blond Hooker, who happens to be working the docks

Hunk's high school friend, shows up (Played by Owen Burke, who may or may not be this guy).  He tells Hunk:  "I love the sexy cop outfit.  Where's your stripper pole?"

Implying that Hunk is a male prostitute working the docks.  Yep, an equal opportunity sex town.  

Scene 13:  Blond Hooker gets a "thoughts and prayers" card from one of the Biddies.  Then she goes home and lies on the bed and thinks about the Dead Girl ("I love you so much...").  Blond Hooker is a lesbian!

Scene 14:  At the Easter Cove Pancake Breakfast, Priscilla and Mary Beth discover that their mother had a long history with Mrs. Garrett.  They "made a lot of money together."  They opened the brothel together!  But were they lovers?

The girls argue, the officers argue, Blond Hooker argues with Mrs. Garrett., Mrs. Garrett argues with the Old Guy.  Everybody got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.

Mrs. Garrett visits the girls, and offers to exchange the knife implicating them in Sleazoid's death if they hand over the cocaine they stole.

Wait -- how could she prove that she found the knife in Sleazoid's house?

Scene 15:  Officer Hunk drops by and Columbos the girls about the night Sleazoid disappeared ("there's just one thing bothering me...why did someone from this house call the police, then hang up?").  Then he goes to the bar and discusses them with his High School Friend: Mary Beth has quite the reputation for hooking up with sleazoids...like...um..Sleazoid!  She was with him that night!

Meanwhile, Blond Hooker tells the Biddies that Mrs. Garrett killed her girlfriend.  They all confront each other.

Scene 16: The girls arrive with the cocaine, and get their knife back.  Blond Hooker sees the whole transaction.

Scene 17:  Blond Hooker steals the cocaine and leaves town with another brothel girl.  Meanwhile, Officer Hunk has breakfast with the Head Biddie, who happens to be his grandmother, and tells her that the case has been solved. They are on their way to make an arrest.

Later, the girls walk by, and see the Head Biddie hosing out the chest that contained Sleazoid's body.  She smiles at them.

Wait -- does this mean she turned them in, or didn't turn them in?

Or did she implicate Mrs. Garrett, who is actually innocent?  

I'm lost.

Beefcake: None.

Other Sights:   Exterior shots of small-town Maine all the time.

Gay Characters:  Blond Hooker is a lesbian.  Priscilla doesn't display any heterosexual interest.  The other characters all seem rather hetero-horny.

Sex Scenes:  None.  Not even a kiss.  For a town with a brothel, street prostitution, and bar hookups, this is odd, but welcome.  No hetero-romance.

Plot Holes:  Mrs. Garrett comes across as sympathetic, and then villain.  Likewise Mary Beth. The Biddies start out as tiresome small-town gossips, then become sympathetic. Make up your mind!

And what's with the annoying Greek chorus?  This ain't Euripides!

My Grade:  B for the scenery and the surprise lesbian.

Chris Demetral: Dream On

Star Trek fans will recognize Chris Demetral from his role as Riker's son on a 1990 episode of The Next Generation.  The 14-year old Michigan native had only been in Hollywood for two years, but he had already landed guest spots on several high-profile tv series, including Mr. Belvedere, The Wonder Years, and The New Lassie, and he would go on to guest on several more.


Chris became best known for playing Jeremy Tupper, son of book editor Martin Tupper (Brian Benben) on the HBO series Dream On (1990-96). Advertised as an "adult sitcom," it mostly featured Martin pursuing women (with lots of cable-tv nudity).   Jeremy has his share of dates and romances, and even has sex during the December 18, 1993 episode.

But the heterosexist part didn't prohibit buddy-bonding elsewhere. In the spring of 1993, Chris became a series regular on Lois and Clark, playing a homeless teenager named Jack, whom Clark/Superman (Dean Cain) takes in.  Designed as a replacement for Jimmy Olsen, with some buddy-bonding and nick of time rescues, Jack didn't click with Superman purists, and he was written out.

In Blank Check (1994), Chris plays Damian, the brother of the 12-year old who cashes a check for $1,000,000.  Damian's relationship with his brother Ralph (Michael Faustino, younger brother of David Faustino) is called into question when a computer repeats "Ralph and Damian sleep butt to face."

Chris's last major role was in The Secret Adventures of Jules Verne (2000), a Canadian tv series.  The French science fiction writer travels around with his friends, Phileas and Rebecca Fogg (Michael Praed, Francesca Hunt), and his servant Passepartout (Michel Courtemanche), fighting monsters and the League of Darkness.

Not much buddy-bonding, but Jules is certainly gay-vague. Whenever the group meets a damsel in distress, the horny Phileas takes over.  Jules spends most of his time striking up conversations with strange men.

Chris disliked the "Hollywood lifestyle," so he retired from acting and moved back home to Michigan. He currently works for talkhumor.com, where his bio states that he is "a reformed smartass" known for his love for his wife, family, friends, the Lakers, and his saviour Jesus. I didn't find any gay-positive or homophobic content on the site.