The Gay Connection of Paper Towels. Seriously.

Paper towels are just there.  They do the job.  They're about as exciting as toast.

During the 1970s, two advertisers tried to make paper towels more exciting.  Bounty got feisty comedienne Nancy Walker to promote the "quicker picker upper."  And Georgia-Pacific countered with Brawny, sold by a Castro clone in a lumberjack outfit, open at the top so you could see his manly chest hair.

So he chops down the trees to make the paper towels?  Does that make sense?

Regardless, Brawny soon became a favorite of housewives and gay kids looking for beefcake in their paper towel purchase.

Lots of gay men say that they got their first glimpse of gay culture from the Brawny guy.  Seriously.

During the 1980s, he got a haircut and changed his shirt.

In 2004 he was replaced by a more muscular Bush-era hunk with a severe black haircut.

The Brawny Guy hasn't been used in tv commercials or print ads.  He doesn't even have a name.  But he still gets a 70% product recognition score (70% of people polled associate his face with paper towels), and some cosplay.

And a surprising gay connection.

The Boys of Lassie 3: Skip Burton

Of all of Lassie's boys, Skip (later Robert) Burton was the oldest, and had the fewest gay subtexts.  But at least his adult roles featured substantial nudity, and his package was checked out in the shower in Linda Lovelace for President.

After Timmy (Jon Provost) immigrated to Australia, the remarkably long-lived collie spent most of the 1960s (1964-70) working with Forest Ranger Corey Stewart (Robert Bray).  The wilderness setting was perfect for new color tv sets, and Lassie got to interact with many different characters, instead of just Timmy and his chums.



After a year by herself (1970-71), Lassie moved back to the boy-rescues, moving onto the ranch run by Keith Holden (Larry Pennell) and his 14-year old son Ron (Skip Burton).  She stayed on for 3 years, and finally hung up her collar for good in 1974.











Afterwards Skip (renamed Robert Burton) did not become typecast as a kewpie doll; in fact, immediately after Lassie, he starred in the softcore porn Linda Lovelace for President (1975). Since he was married to 1970s scream queen Karen Black, he also starred with her in Trilogy of Terror (1974).

And several soap operas.

In the 1980s, he went to work on Wall Street.

See also: The Boys of Lassie 1: Jon Provost

Uncle Sam Wants You: the Gay Connection of America's National Symbol

I'm not very patriotic.  I hate all of those companies that try to sell you lawn mowers or shoes with red white and blue logos and yells of "Freedom!" and "Liberty!"

Wilkes-Barre has a Freedom Farm, Freedom Toyota, Freedom Plumbing, and a Freedom Express Delivery Service.

Plus Liberty Bank, Liberty Cleaners, Liberty Truck Stop, Liberty Pizza, and Liberty Travel.

And what about those commercials?  "I'm glad to be an Amur-ican, where at least I know I'm free."

Or "Freedom! Faith! and Family!" used to sell chicken.

Except I'm too nauseated by the maudlin, heterosexist drivel to be hungry.

But I rather like Uncle Sam.

The symbol of the U.S. was originally a real person, Samuel Wilson, a meat packer from Troy, New York, who supplied rations for troops overseas during the War of 1812, and stamped them with U.S., for United States.  When asked what U.S. meant, he joked "Uncle Sam."

The name caught on, and appeared in a satire of the War of 1812, The Adventures of Uncle Sam in Search of His Lost Honor (1816).  

Uncle Sam was depicted in art several times during the 19th century, but his standard image -- a stern, elderly gentleman with a top hat, a blue coat, and red-and-white striped pants, pointing a finger at "you!" -- first appeared on the cover of Leslie's Magazine in 1916.

I like the forceful dominance of I want YOU!!!  It's like an S&M scene.  I want to say "Yes, sir!  Anything you want, sir!  Shall I tell you my safe word, sir?"

That image is probably as familiar to Americans as Santa Claus, and has been used extensively for military recruitment, and just about everything else.  I Want You to fight inflation, vote for Hoover, end the drug war, stop bullying, get out and exercise, learn to read, curb illegal immigration, and find a cure for AIDS.

Uncle Sam became a superhero during the 1940s.  In National Comics, he's the ghost of a soldier killed in the Revolutionary War, who appears to fight Nazis along with his teen sidekick Buddy.  He returned to DC comics thirty years later, this time as a spirit conjured up by the Founding Fathers to fight un-patriotic activity.

A number of ads and illustrations have Uncle Sam ripping off his shirt to reveal a bodybuilder's physique.  Here he's flexing on the cover of The Economist, with red-white-and-blue tassles attached to his nipples.

And don't forget the real-life musclemen in Uncle Sam costumes, like Blake Jenner (Glee, top photo) and Matthew McConaughey (Magic Mike, left)

Anybody into Daddies?