Link to the n*de dudes
(I recommend the NSFW version. You'll need to see some d*cks).
December is the cruelest month, overwhelming the senses with bright lights and crowds, asserting that if you don't feel ecstatic every second of every day, there is something wrong with you, while pushing melancholy nostalgia and horribly depressing songs. And the most depressing of all is the "Have yourself" monstrosity. One line is guaranteed to push my general Christmas depression into dark despair. Fortunately, singers extend every syllable indefinitely, so I'm usually able to run out of the store or shut off the tv during "Haaaaaaaaaaaaave youuuuuuuurself..."
I thought that I could expiate the demonic power of the monstrosity by researching where it began, with a viewing of Meet Me in St. Louis (1944) when I was nine or ten years old (in the 1970s!).
It's the summer of 1903, which many adults in the 1940s recalled through the nostalgic haze of childhood. After the Spanish American War, the U.S. occupied the Philippines, Guam, Hawaii, and Puerto Rico, a colonial empire rivaling those of Britain and France.
It was the era of the robber barons like Rockefeller and Vanderbilt, who amassed huge fortunes and transported Italian villas brick-by-brick to the new world.
The Wizard of Oz, Peter Pan, The Bobbsey Twins, Kim, and The Call of the Wild were brand new.
Everyone in St. Louis, the 4th largest city in the U.S., is all agog over the upcoming World's Fair, also known as the Louisiana Purchase Exposition. Although a paeon to American Exceptionalism, it will have exhibits from 65 countries. They'll be able to see X-ray machines and wireless telephones, gawk at "primitive tribes," and eat hot dogs, hamburgers, and cotton candy for the first time. time. And hear the song "Meet Me in St. Louis," about a man whose wife leaves him to go to the fair.
Trigger #1: Nazarenes were taught that fairs were Satanic, so this represented evil. Also, I recalled a song about a boy who is coming home late from the fair, no doubt the victim of foul play:
Oh, dear, what could the matter be -- Johnny's too late from the fair.
At 5135 Kensington Avenue, a trolley-ride away from downtown, fancy businessman Alonzo Smith (Leon Ames) and his family are eagerly anticipating the fair, and watching as the daughters fall in love.
Esther (Judy Garland) is in love with the Boy Next Door, John Truitt (Tom Drake, left and top photo), who isn't interested. She sings:
How can I ignore the boy next door?
I love him more than I can say
Doesn't try to please me, doesn't even tease me
And he never sees me glance his way
You forgot the last line: "Maybe he's gay."
Trigger #2: I hated Judy Garland after seeing her in the horrifying Wizard of Oz (the Witch counts down the minutes to her death!). Later, I heard that to ever listen to Judy Garland songs meant that you were gay, which was horrifying (I was extremely homophobic during my closeted high school years).
Tom Drake (top photo and right) was "a deeply closeted gay guy, given to despair." terrified that someone would find out.
Rose (Lucille Bremmer) is in love with Warren Sheffield (Robert Sully), but he's dating another girl (June Lockhart, who would become the Mom on Lost in Space).
Left: Billy Mumy as her son.
Danger, Will Robinson! If you value your Christmas cheer, do not continue!
Little Sister Tootie (Margaret O'Brien) is apparently in love with the Ice Man, with whom she discusses whether St. Louis is the greatest city in the world. But there's really no discussion; of course it is. And they didn't even have that Arch yet.
Margaret O'Brien, only 8 years old when she was roped into Meet Me, had a career that lasted through the 2000s. Her last movie role to date is in This is Our Christmas (2018), where a family tries to save their beloved bakery from an evil developer (Margaret) and her son (Vincent de Paul, left).
There's also another daughter, a son, Lon Junior (Henry H. Daniels, Jr.), a grandpa, and a sarcastic maid (lesbian actress Marjorie Mains)
The Farewell Party: Lon Jr. is leaving for Princeton, so they throw him a party. The Boy Next Door is invited! Esther asks him out, but she waits for him at the trolley all afternoon, and he doesn't show up.
Hoping to find a new beau, she sings "The Trolley Song":
I went to lose a jolly hour on the trolley
And lost my heart instead
With his light brown derby and his bright green tie
He was quite the handsomest of men
I started to yen so I counted to ten
Then I counted to ten again
Halloween: At a bonfire, Tootie claims that The Boy Next Door hit her, so Esther goes to his house and punches and bites him.. Actually, he was trying to protect her from the police. Esther apologizes, and they kiss and start dating.
Brace yourself: depressing lyrics after the break. And a lot more c*cks (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).
