13 Things You Should Know about Doug Savant, 3 About his Penis

1. He was in Teen Wolf, with Michael J. Fox, but if you blink, you miss him.

2. He was very popular in West Hollywood in the 1990s for playing Matt Fielding, the gay guy on the evening soap Melrose Place (1992-97).  Gay characters were very rare on tv in those days.

3. While other characters were immersed in scandals and illicit affairs, Matt was a saint, sitting around saying "That's not a good idea."

4. He was rarely allowed to date, and never allowed any physical interaction -- no hugging, no kissing.  An on-screen kiss at the end of Season Two was censored, in spite of his protests.















5. Doug kept his heterosexuality closeted during Melrose Place, playing it coy when someone asked if he was gay in real life.  The network pressured him to come out as straight, worried that people would reject a gay actor.  But he thought it would be disrespectful to the gay community to proclaim "I'm not gay!"

6. He was sought-after for gay events and AIDS charities.  Some gay people found this condescending, but this was the era of the "helpful heterosexual."

7. He's been married to women twice, and has three daughters and a son.

8. Before Melrose Place, he played a lot of sleazoids.  In Masquerade (1988) and Paint it Black (1989), he played serial killers.  

9. But afterwards, he was typecast.  Not as gay -- as a squeaky-clean nice guy.  His most famous recent role is on Desperate Housewives (2006-2012), as Tom Scavo, nice guy surrounded by sleazoids.

10. Charlie Carver, who played Doug's son on Desperate Housewives, is gay.

And three facts about Doug's penis:

11.  He has appeared in his underwear on camera many times, but he has never done a frontal nude scene.

12. A character on Desperate Housewives expressed awe over its size

13. By all accounts, huge, uncut.

Chad Everett

Chad Everett, who died in 2012, had a nicely toned physique and amazingly tight pants that became familiar to Boomer kids through beefcake appearances on many 1960s Westerns and swinging detective tv series: 77 Sunset Strip, Hawaiian Eye, Surfside 6, Maverick, Branded.  

He also starred in movies such as Made in Paris (1966) with 1960s standby Ann-Margret; Johnny Tiger (1966), as a Seminole boy trying to survive in the Anglo world;  and The Impossible Years  (1968), as the anti-establishment boy who dates the daughter of a stuffy college professor.

But he became most famous as a new Ben Casey, the young, idealistic Dr. Joe Gannon, who clashed with establishment Dr. Paul Lochner (James Daly) on Medical Center (1969-76).  No beefcake, but his square jaw and blue eyes, and tight pants caused him to become the first crush of lots of Boomer kids, and apparently there were several gay-themed episodes: a gay research scientists is blackmailed (1970); a "sexually confused" girl is assured that she's not a lesbian (1973); a transsexual doctor (played by Robert Reed) decides to have sex reassignment surgery (1975).

Chad was quite conservative in real life.  He caused a bit of a scandal in 1972, during a talk show appearance, by referring to his wife as "his property." The host laughed, but Lily Tomlin became so outraged that she stormed off the set.

But he still managed to play a gay cop on a 2006 episode of Cold Case, about re-investigation of old murder cases.  In 1968, Jimmy Bruno (Brian Hallisay) was seeing his partner, Coop Cooper (Shane Johnson).  Then Coop was shot and killed in a gay-bashing incident that the precinct covered up. 40 years later, Jimmy Bruno (Chad Everett) still remembers his lost love.

Beefcake and Bulges in Surfing Art

I expected paintings about surfing to highlight buffed male bodies and bulging swimsuits, but they tend to emphasize gigantic waves and crashing surf, making the bodies as small and insignificant as in traditional Chinese paintings.  Or they emphasize the surfing babes.  I only found a few that showed some beefcake.

Nathan Miller shows a buffed Polynesian in blue shorts against a stylized surf.

Bill Ogden shows a muscular, long-haired blond guy fighting a giant wave.

Michael Cass gives us a frontal view of the red swim trunks, with an almost photographic precision.

Vividly colored but stylized, Douglas Simonson's surfer polishes his board in rainbow colors.

Georgi Dmitrov offers a realistic surfer, but he's surfing on a shark.

More after the break.

The Beefcake Explosion of Nolan Gould

If you haven't watched the doddering Modern Family for awhile, prepare yourself for a shock.  Remember this kid?

He's grown a bit.

Back in September 2009, when Modern Family premiered, I was living in Upstate New York and just starting to date Troy. And Nolan Gould, who played Luke, youngest grandson in the extended Pritchett family, was just shy of  11 years old (born on October 28, 1998).

I watched regularly for a few years, although I disliked the gay couple, Luke's uncles Mitchell and Cam (aka Swishy and Swishier).

There wasn't even any beefcake to distract from the misogyny, casual racism, and minstrel-show antics of Swishy and Swishier.

I noticed that Luke was becoming stupider and stupider -- every sitcom needs a dumb bunny -- in spite of the brilliance of Nolan himself, who is a member of MENSA and graduated from high school at age 13.  

But I never suspected that he was going to turn into the hunk of the show.

In "The Feud," which aired on February 26, 2014, and was probably filmed a few months before, Luke goes out for wrestling.  Nolan is 15 years old but looks only barely pubescent, with long, stringy muscles.

In "Australia," which aired on April 23rd, 2014, Luke goes surfing.  He seems to have more of a chest, but not much more.

I don't know what episode this is, but it was uploaded to the Teen Idols gallery on June 15, 2015.  A little tighter in the chest and shoulders, but Nolan still looks more like a boy than a man.

Here Nolan is on vacation in the Bahamas in April 2016, just after wrapping up the seventh season of Modern Family.  He's 17 years old, getting some nice abs.

But look what happened in "The Alliance," which aired on November 30th, 2016: An aging cougar puts the moves on the oblivious, barely-legal Luke.  Grandpa Jay rushes to the rescue.  Luke answers the door shirtless.

Nolan was just over 18.

Impressive biceps and quads, some chest definition, the beginning of a six-pack in the abs.

I can't wait to see how much he bulks up at ages 19, 20, 21...

Gilad's Body in Motion

During the 1980s, this was one of the most famous physiques -- and bulges -- in the world.

It belongs to Gilad Janklowicz (try telling your Dad that you want a poster of Gilad Janklowicz for your birthday).

Gilad was born on a Kibbutz in Israel in 1954.  His parents, who escaped from Nazi Germany via China, were both sports enthusiasts.  He ran track and field in high school, and became a decathlete and fitness instructor in the Israeli army.  After an Achilles heel injury ruined his Olympic aspirations, he moved to Los Angeles, enrolled in the UCLA Film School, and became a personal trainer.

Here he holds hands with a young Arnold Schwarzenegger.








In 1981 he moved to Hawaii where in 1983 he launched Bodies in Motion, a half-hour aerobics program in which he demonstrated routines to a pounding back beat while male and female models worked out behind him.

His sister Ada was co-host for a year before breaking out with her own show, Basic Training.

Over the years, Bodies in Motion ran on ESPN, Fox Sports, the Health Channel, and Fit TV.  It is still running several times a day on TBS, and in 80 countries around the world.







Gilad also hosts Total Body Sculpt  (2005-), publishes fitness articles, and sells a wide range of merchandise.

He's never married or been connected any of the models he works with, so he's probably gay.

But I'm more impressed by his exceptional physique and commitment to fitness past age 60.  One of his clients lived to the age of 103, and still walked the 23 flights up to his apartment every day.

Beefcake and Bulges in Old Swedish Photographs

The Du Gamla website uploads photographs of people who lived in Sweden from the 1850s and 1950s.  Some local celebrities, like Olympic athletes, but mostly regular people with no particular claims to fame.

It's a fascinating compendium of people who were once solid, who ate and drank and planned for the future, who desired and were desired by men or women, or both, and now are long forgotten.

Like Allan Buhne, 1911.  Obviously a wrestler.

I have found no other record of him on the internet except for this, from the records of the Hammarby Idrottsförening (Sports Club) in Stockholm: Allan Buhne came 4th in SM. He worked for almost all his life in Hammarby Wrestling.

It's obvious that he had the same singlet problem that wrestlers have today.

Frithiof Martensson (1888-1956) was a middle weight contender in the wrestling contest at the 1908 Olympics.  Later he became a dental hygienist.

August Bylen, 1871-1954, was a metalsmith and farmer. And, apparently, packing.

Ruben Johansson, 1899 to 1918.  Very cute guy.  He died at age 19, maybe during the worldwide influenza epidemic.

Ragnar Larsson, 1901-1984, a wrestler at the 1924 Olympics.

More after the break.

Beefcake and Bulges in Recent Swim Team Photos

Ready for another assorted set of pecs, abs, biceps and bulges from the swim teams of yesteryear?  This time we'll go from the 1960s to the present.

Kelly High School, Chicago, 1967.  Some of these kids look a little young for high school, but there's a nice basket in the eyeglassed guy second row right.

University of Southern California men's swim team, 1976.  I was in high school at the time, but I don't remember all the porn stachs.

Cleveland State University, 1984.  Less than ten years later, all the porn staches have vanished, but the skimpy, bulge-displaying swimsuits have been retained.

Burnesville High School, 1985.  Some gym-toned physiques, but all of the bulges are hidden.

More after the break.