Three Questions about Paul Forman

 

I first saw spectacular beefcake extravaganzaPaul Forman yesterday in an episode of Frank of Ireland, and wanted to see more.  Preferably a lot more.  I also had three questions:

1. What else has he been in?

2. Where is he from?

3. Is he gay?

IMDB: No biographical information, and only five on-screen credits:

1. Dreams (2018), a short about dreams, in which the Boy (Paul) pursues some girls.

2. Nevrland (2019), an Austrian psychological drama. 17-year old Jakob (Simon Fruwith) suffers from an anxiety disorder, which makes it difficult for him to pursue a relationship with 26-year old artist Kristjan (Paul).  A reviewer on IMDB decries "the artiste, who tries to overlay trash with art, such words as homosexuality, psychoanalysis, hallucinations..."

3. Seagull (2019).  A British thriller.  After 8 years lost on a beach, Rose returns home to settle scores. Connor (Paul) is far down in the cast list.

4. The Spanish Princess (2020), a miniseries about Catherine of Aragon, one of the wives of Henry VIII.  In three episodes, Paul plays King Francis (1494-1547), one of Henry's allies, and the lover of Anne Bolyn.

5. Two episodes of Frank of Ireland.

Twitter:  "The Frenchest Englishman."  From London.  Mostly posts about Manchester United,  the COVD pandemic, and his tv roles,  but he does mention representation by modeling agencies in Britain, France, Australia, and Denmark.

Youtube: mostly exercise videos.

Facebook: an empty page.

Linkedin:  Biographical data!  

Paul attended the Lyceé Francais Charles de Gaulle (in London), then Cardiff University (B.A. in mathematics, 2015) and Drama Studio London (B.A. in drama, 2017). 

Other than acting and modeling, his only job has been bartending at the White Horse (a famous pub in Parsons Green, London).  He is fluent in English, Spanish, and French.

Interesting, but what about my third question?  

Instagram:  A huge gallery of beefcake photos, with captions like "What makes you happy?" and "What is your idea of the perfect vacation?"

Mostly professional -- photo shoots in Bali, London, Copenhagen, and so on.  Not much about his private life.  

But I'm happy just seeing Paul's physique.

Desnudo Homme claims to be a magazine devoted to "male models, fashion, and nudity," but when I visited their website, they immediately logged me into an "online chat" and tried to sell me their clothing.

Paul didn't appear nude.  He's even somewhat skittish about underwear shots; I only saw one or two in his gallery.

I can't imagine why.

Wait -- the very last (earliest) photo in the gallery, apparently before he decided to devote it to his professional work: "Reunited with my bae."

Bae means "boyfriend."  

Gay or bi.

Frank of Ireland: More than Friends, Less Than Gay

 

Amazon Prime has just dropped Frank of Ireland, about "a misanthropic fantacist in arrested development" with an ex-girlfriend he wants to win back and a best friend named Doofus.  Doofus?  Does that mean something different in Ireland?  Obviously there won't be any gay representation, but two of the six episode icons show the guys hugging, so maybe some gay subtexts?  And when they're not in doofus makeup, Brian Gleeson (Frank) and Domnhall Gleeson (Doofus) are rather attractive, so maybe some beefcake?

Episode 1 is about Frank trying to win back his ex, so I skipped to Episode 2: Frank tries to prove that P-B is a "yoked-up party boy," but instead "falls under his spell," straining his relationship with Doofus.

Scene 1: Dinner.  Ex-girlfriend Âine (pronounced roughly Ahn-ya) announces that she's moving in with P-B (Peter-Brian, played by Tom Vaughan-Lawlor), because he's a doctor, not a dead-end slacker.  Frank is upset: "I'd always assumed that when my Mum dies, you'd be taking care of me. Can I move in with you two?"

She leaves; Doofus comes in through the dumbwaiter to serve dessert.

Scene 2: Home.  Mother Mary wants to know why Frank can't move in with Aine and P-B.  She has no room for him, as she's moving her boyfriend in, and no money to support him.

Scene 3: Frank and Doofus (left) spyng on P-B, looking for evidence that he's cheating on Aine so she won't move in. He's actually eating cheese -- "so fucking posh!"  They plan to prank him with a bag of flaming dog poo, but Doofus brought his own poo instead (yes, we see it).

As Frank is trying to set it on fire, P-B opens the door and invites him in.

Scene 4: A very posh, elegant country house.  P-B and Frank drink whiskey and bond over criticizing Aine and discussing archery.

P-B: We should go to the range sometime (for archery)

Frank: Tomorrow?  Why not tomorrow?  I want to be with you.  Sorry, was that a bit intense?

P-B: No, I liked it.

Goodbye hug on the doorstep.  Frank does seem quite taken with P-B.

Scene 5:  Doofus massaging Frank in the bathtub.  "You don't like him, do you?" he asks nervously

"No, I'm just hanging out with him to get dirt.  Tonight was the most fun I've had with anyone in ages...he makes me feel like I can be myself...but it's not sexual."

Just then P-B texts Frank. Doofus tries to grab the phone from his hand.  It falls into the water, so Doofus reaches in to fetch it from his crotch (no boundaries, bloke?).

A stranger, Stephane (Paul Forman), comes in naked to use the toilet. Whoa, beefcake!  He explains why he shaves his pubic hair: for aerodynamics (spinning his penis around while the boys watch, agape).

Turns out that Mom is making extra money by renting a room to college student Stephane, to the consternation of her boyfriend.    

Scene 6: P-B teaching Frank how to use a bow and arrow.  Then they hit the hot tub.  Doofus appears, disconsolate (all of them in swimsuits).  Frank: "I can't help it.  I like him, ok?"  Doofus: "What about the plan?  You aren't even trying to break up P-B and Aine!"

When P-B arrives, Doofus tries to get him to confess: "You can tell us if you've cheated on Aine.  It's fine.  We don't mind if it was with men, women, or children.  Not children."

Scene 7: Bicycling home.  Doofus tries to win Frank back: "I've got something in my pocket that you'll like." No, not his penis,  two tickets to the Viking Splash Tour.  Frank hesitates: "Only two tickets?  What about P-B?"  

"I wanted it to be just us.  What's happening to us?  We're drifting apart.  I love you....."  So Frank agrees.

Scene 8:  The Viking Splash Tour, which appears to be people in Viking helmets and life preservers sitting in a pontoon boat.  Frank: "This feels wrong.  Besides, I've got to go change for wine-tasting with P-B."  Doofus: "Can I come?"  Frank ignores him.

Scene 9: Frank getting dressed for the wine-tasting.  He goes into the living room, where Mom is getting a massage from the naked Stephane while her boyfriend fumes, to announce that he's going out.  

Scene 10: At the wine-tasting, Frank complains to P-B about Doofus: "I just feel like we're growing apart." Meanwhile, P-B starts complaining about his patients and bragging about all the women he got before Aine.  And a lot since, including his patients.  Darn, he turned out to be a sexist jerk.  At least Doofus was nice (and hung, as we discovered in the swimsuit scene).

Scene 11: Frank visits Aine, but doesn't reveal P-B's cheating: "Basically he's clean.  A boy scout, and not in a bad way."  But Doofus has been on the case, too.  He sent a pack of photos of P-B and Frank together, but with a woman's face pasted over Frank's.  She sees through the ruse, of course, but she still doesn't want to see P-B anymore; "he's too fucking posh."  She prefers Frank.

She tries to get with Frank, even offering to do anal, but he rejects her.  Not interested.  Wait -- didn't he want to win her back in Episode 1?

Scene 12: Frank yells at Doofus for spying on him and P-B, and implying that they were cheating on Aine.  He angrily breaks up with him.

Scene 13: Frank in bed, looking at photos of him with Doofus and P-B.  Torn between two lovers, feeling like a fool.  Stephane, in his underwear in the other bed, offers him advice: with Doofus, he's the dominant partner.  If he goes with P-B, he'll be the "bitch."  "It is better to reign in Hell, than serve in Heaven."  This guy speaks broken English, but can quote Milton?

Scene 14: A housewarming party to celebrate Aine and P-B moving in together.  Doofus approaches Frank: "I just want you to be happy.  I know you and P-B are together now, and I won't stand in your way." 

But Frank realizes that he'd rather be with the nice (and hung) Doofus than the rich jerk P-B, so they reconcile and walk off into the sunset arm in arm.

Beefcake: Lots.  Every male character gets a shirtless or swimsuit shot.

Penises: None shown, lots discussed.

Other Sights: Some exteriors of the Irish countryside, one city shot.

Gay Characters: No.

Gay Subtexts:  Very obvious, self-aware conflation of friendship and romance. Frank-Doofus and Frank-P-B are more than friends, but not lovers (unless you count the penis-grabbing).  But I get the impression that it's a Dumb and Dumber conflation, where they guys are so stupid that they can't tell the difference between a friendship and a romance.  We're supposed be laughing at them, thinking "An attraction to another guy!  How ridiculous!"

Irish Slang: According to my research, "doofus" means "stupid" only in America; the Irish term is "eejit."  "Posh" is a derogatory term for someone or something upper-class.  

My Grade: B

Jim Steranko: Escape Artist turned Comic Book Artist

Jim Steranko (born 1938) started out as a stage magician and escape artist, following in the footsteps of Harry Houdini.

With a beefy physique to match.

In the late 1960s, while Frank Frazetta was busily revitalizing Conan the Barbarian, Steranko revitalized Marvel Comics, drawing The X-Men, Captain America, Strange Tales, and Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.  He also wrote one of the first histories of comic books (1971).

I didn't read Marvel comics much when I was a kid, but I knew Jim Steranko's work from the covers of many paperback sword-and-sorcery novels that he illustrated during the 1970s.

His covers differed from the usual Conan and John Carter of Mars stuff: they usually pictured the mighty-thewed barbarian heroes without naked ladies attached to their thighs.

And the stories inside were often free of "rescuing the princess" hijinks.  David Van Arnam's Lord of Blood buddy-bonds barbarian hero Valzar and his servant Lynor.

Isn't Kelwin a rather silly name for a barbarian hero?  He should be winning science fairs, not battling the "yellow-skinned wizards of Hunan."

I bought The Mighty Swordsmen at a used bookstore in Paris without realizing that there was a naked lady on the cover.

Apparently I missed a lot of the ladies in Steranko's work.

I didn't notice his compendiums of pin-up girls, or his comic book art, crowded with shirtless, muscular men and ladies in skintight leather outfits, like that of Mrs. Peel on The Avengers. 

But at least he was an aficionado of the male form.

And recent versions of his Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. title feature a lesbian character.

See also: Werewolf by Night; and Kamadi.

Love Boat/Fantasy Island: Love Won't Hurt Anymore

During the decade that began on September 24th, 1977 and ended on February 27th, 1987, I graduated from high school and college, got my M.A. in English, spent a year on Hell-fer-Sartain, and moved to West Hollywood.  I spent my Saturday nights going on dates, going out with friends, cruising in the bars, at movies, dinners, concerts, potlucks, or as a last resort at the gym.

Only when I was sick, studying for finals, or back in Rock Island for the holidays did I find myself staying home on Saturday nights.

And when I was home on a Saturday night, I watched Gimme a Break, Love Sidney, We Got It Made, Magnum PI, anything but those nauseating anthology series, Love Boat and Fantasy Island.  

But my parents watched.  All of the older people watched.

Love Boat (1977-87) was set on a cruise ship, where the randy Captain (Gavin MacLeod), ship's doctor (Bernie Kopell), purser (Fred Grandy), bartender (Ted Lange), and activities director (Lauren Tewes) made a hobby of facilitating three heterosexual romances per episode (two serious, one funny).

A sports writer and a tennis pro, a minister and an exotic dancer, a chauffeur and his employer, a rock star and a deaf girl, a celebrity and a tabloid reporter, an advice columnist who can't find love, a magician who can't find love.  It goes on like that. For 248 episodes.

Gay people were unknown, except for an episode where two buddies are mistaken for a gay couple.  By the end of the episode, they both find love (with women).  Problem solved.

But I understand that there were there were lots of guest stars in Speedos lounging around the Cabana Deck, like perennial 1970s fave Bert Convy (top photo).

Fantasy Island (1977-84) was more of the same.  The mysterious Mr. Roarke (Ricardo Montalban, known as Khan on Star Trek) and his assistant Tattoo (Herve Villechaize) ran a tropical resort where, for an additional fee of $20,000 (waived for charity cases), he would arrange to fulfill your "fantasy."  Two or three per episode, alternating between serious and  funny.

In the early years, the fantasies involved nothing more than props and actors, as guests wanted to be Latin lovers or cowboys or movie stars.  Later, Mr. Roarke was able to travel in time, conjure up ghosts and genies, and make a deal with the goddess Aphrodite to fulfill the guests' fantasies.  The Devil even dropped.

Here, too, most fantasies ended with hetero-romance.

No gay people existed, but again, there were guest stars with their shirts off, like Bert Convy again.

I always wanted to ask the old people:  why?  Why do you need yet another dose of heterosexism?  You've already married and reproduced, your life is nearly over (actually, in 1977, my Dad was younger than I am now).  What's the "love, love, love!" brainwashing for?

An article in TV Guide explained: "Love Boat for people who live in Iowa and can't get dressed up and go out on Saturday night."

The dig at Iowa roiled me -- hey, we had four-star restaurants, opera, theater, and the symphony!

But I understood -- these Saturday night "love, love, love!" marathons were to keep them assuaged near the end of their lives: yes, yes, it was all worthwhile, marriage and family was a noble goal, the only thing worth doing.

See also: Love, American Style and Ricardo Montalban.