Zach Galligan: The "Gremlins" guy ruined my childhood, sort of. Plus his d*ck, Michelangelo's David, and Bubba Higgins

Link to the n*de dudes

The spring of 1984 was bleak and endless, days and weeks and months of trying and failing.  A degree in English and Modern Languages with professors who said "You can do anything you want. Go into advertising, or public relations, or book publishing."  A hundred resumes sent to advertising agencies, public relations firms, and publishing houses all over the country, with no answer or "no openings."  By the end of May, my friends had all gone home for the summer or graduated, so I walked the streets of Bloomington alone, looking up at the cross on the tower of a distant church and wondering if there was anything ahead but dead ends.

On the evening of June 15th, I saw Gremlins,  starring 20-year old Zach Galligan as a teenager who accidentally feeds his mogwai after midnight, thus turning it into a rampaging monster.

 The movie itself was of minimal interest. Zach may have had a buddy-bonding friendship with fellow mogwai enthusiast Corey Feldman on the way to winning the Girl of His Dreams.

It was Zach's jaw-dropping handsomeness that convinced me that there was some good left in the world, leading to a job in Texas and eventually to West Hollywood.

During the next years and decades, I didn't learn much more about Zach.  I never saw him in any other movie or tv show, except maybe a 1998 episode of Star Trek: Voyager, where I didn't recognize him.

There was an occasional photo or reference on one of the gay celebrity websites that we had back in the days of America Online and Myspace.  They revealed that: 

1. Zach was tied up in a lot of his movies.  This shot appeared over and over.  

And:

2. He was gay in real life.  I never questioned this.

A few days ago, I noticed a run on my earlier profile of Zach Galligan, so I started researching him for a new profile.   

First, n*de photos.  

A backside pic was easy. A front, a little harder.  One of the photos on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends may be him.

More after the break.  

The Secrets of Sulphur Springs: three boys with girlfriends, time travel, and future hunkoids. Just another day on the Disney Channel

 

When The Secrets of Sulphur Springs premiered on the Disney Channel, I did a key word search on the title and "gay" yields: "this series is about two married gay men who get a divorce so they can marry other men."  Unlikely for a Disney Channel teen com, but maybe there are some gay subtexts.

No, it's a ghost story-time travel mystery written by people who can't spell "sulfur."

Ben (Josh Braaten, top photo) and his children, Griffin (Preston Oliver),  Wyatt (Landon Gordon, left),and some girls, move from the Big City to the tourist trap...er, resort of Sulphur Springs, Lousiana, where Ben  grew up. They are going to re-open the creepy, haunted Tarant Inn.

Thirty years ago, young Ben and a girl named Savannah sneaked into the Tarant Inn.  He heard an odd noise and went off to investigate, and when he returned, she was gone!  He is trying to work through the trauma and guilt, and the suspicions of the townsfolk, who think that he...well, this is the Disney Channel, so let's just say "knows something about the disappearance."    So he decided to come back?

This is a teen series, so eldest son Griffin is the focus character.  He immediately meets the Girl of His Dreams, who happens to be mystery obsessed and anxious to help investigate the mystery.  They discover a secret room at the inn that leads to the distant-past year of 1990.  There they meet Savannah, alive and well, but constantly being pestered/hit on by the young Ben.  

It's a soap opera all around, back then: Young Ben (Jake Melrose, left) has an abusive father (Jim Gleason) and a stalker, the Mean Girl Jess, who is constantly trying to sabotage his budding romance with Savannah so she can seduce him.  These are 13-14 year olds on the Disney Channel, so no s*x acts will actually occur, but all the tropes are there.

Meanwhile Griffin's sibs, paranormal enthusiasts, try to contact the ghost of Savannah to find out how she...um...disappeared.

More after the break

"The Neighborhood": Two nuclear families and a kid who may or may not be trans. With bonus chubby black men

  

We'll start with a chubby black man.  Just keep him in mind

I was going to give The Neighborhood, on Hulu, a miss.  Next door neighbors, both heterosexual nuclear families, dealing with race issues, and not a gay person in sight.  But 14-year old Hank Greenspan, who plays Grover, has long hair and a femme look, so I checked his Instagram to see if he is gay in real life, I found this:

"Together we win."

I'm not familiar with this symbol, but one of the comments was: "Another trans actor or just brainwashed."  

So presumably Hank or their character has come out as trans, and love wins.  

But when I searched for  "The Neighborhood," "Cedric the Entertainer," and gay or transgender, nothing came up.

When I tried "Hank Greenspan" and gay or transgender, I got an article on cultural appropriation that doesn't mention either, and a reddit post that called him a "child actress," but was being homophobic.

So who is winning for trans equality?  

Seasons 6 and 7 are not available on Hulu, so I'm reviewing a Season 5 episode that looked Grover-centric, "Welcome to the Working World." 

Scene 1:  The chubby Marty (Marcel Spears, below), and a woman are cuddling while watching a movie.  He says "God is good." Then his Brother Malcolm (Shean McKinley) wants to know why it's dark in here, and he groans "The devil is active, too."  The deadbeat used up all of the woman's strawberry -mango body wash, and when they're not looking, steals their snacks.

Their Dad, Calvin (Cedric the Entertainer), and Mom, Ticina Arnold of Everybody Hates Chris, knock, wondering why the door is locked   Wow, Cedric is chubby, too.  If you're a chubby chaser -- and who isn't?  - this is the series for you.

 Chub Marty and his girlfriend scurry to fix things so Mom and Dad won't know that they were getting busy.  Then the oldsters insist on barging into their movie night, so no smoochinig or sex!

Everybody Hates Chris also starred Tequan Richmond, now grown up and hung, as Chris's younger brother, whom everybody in the world fell in love-at-first-sight with.  It allowed him to score free desserts at lunchtime, and he never got detention, but around Valentine's Day, the truckloads of cards and presents began to arrive.  

Sorry,  not sorry for the digression. Back to The Neighborhood after the break

Gemstones Episode 4.6, Continued: Cobb smashes, Corey lies, and Kelvin is traumatized for life. With Jace Norman and Mongolian muscle

Link to the n* de dudes

Gator Farm: Close-up of alligators and scary snakes, then the gift shop (Cobb sells "Gemstone necklaces," har har).  

Corey (Sean Ryan Fox, being licked by  his Henry Danger co-star Jace Norman) is helping close up for the evening.  Daddy Cobb asks if he wants to stay for dinner -- he could cook some hot dogs --  but Corey has to go to the mansion and hang out with the Gemstone kids while the parents are out.

A mansion or hot dogs?  Gee, what a difficult choice.

"That rich bitch Aimee-Leigh done poisoned your mama's brain!" Cobb sneers.

"It's ok -- I won't even be with her, just with the kids."  He begs his Dad to not force him to choose between his parents.

Cut to the Eli, Aimee-Leigh, and Lori getting ready to go out for the evening, while the kids are playing Monopoly. Presumably they've already had dinner.  While they're gone, Jesse is in charge.  "Just promise that you won't burn the house down."

Wait -- Corey is 26 or 27 years old, well into adulthood.  Shouldn't he be in charge?

Time Moves Slowly: The adults at dinner at Oakwood.  Aimee-Leigh suggests that they sing some of their songs in front of an audience, to see their reaction.  Shouldn't you do this before recording?   

She pulls a surprised Lori onto the stage for "Time moves so slowly." Lori and Aimee-Leigh definitely have a lesbian butch-femme couple vibe going on. Lesbian subtext?

Later, while Lori is talking to the band, Eli tells Aimee-Leigh that he visited  Cobb: the marriage is unsalvageable.  They discuss how solid their own marriage is.

Hold My Hand: At home, the kids are singing karaoke.  Kelvin's turn: "Kryptonite," by 3 Doors Down (2000). Corey hugs him for:

If I go crazy, then will you still call me Superman?

If I'm alive and well, will you be there and holding my hand?

Check out Corey's t-shirt ("I'm n*ked under here!") and crotch-enhancing belt buckle.  He is presenting himself as a s*xual being, with romantic interests that are not addressed elsewhere in the season (as an adult, he displays little or no interest in his wife).

They decide to go out for tacos and chalupas, but Kelvin stays behind.  "You all bore me! I need to take a bubble bath and read for a bit." Hey, Corey was just being very nice to you, and aren't you too young to stay home alone?

Meanwhile, Cobb is drinking and feeding his gators.

The Bible Thief: Cut to Corey, Jesse, and Judy at a Mexican restaurant.  Cobb calls to see if his son is still at the mansion.   "No, we all left to get Mexican food."  When they're done, could he drive to Norton Bridge?  His truck broke down.

Cobb is actually at the back gate of the Gemstones compound.  He puts on a ski mask, climbs over the gate, tromps through a thunderstorm, and breaks through a window to enter the house.  Kelvin, in Judy's room tearing pictures of hot guys from Tiger Beat, hears the noise, thinks that the kids have returned, and runs downstairs.

The Mongolian throat singing in the background is "Wolf Totem," by the metal/folk group The Hu. The lyrics in English translation are heard during the closing credits:

If lions come, we will fight until the end
If you come as snakes, we'll become Garuda birds
If you come as tigers, we'll face you as lions with blue manes

Cobb pees into a booze bottle, steals the Golden Bible and other stuff, and goes through the house, smashing everything he can find.  Kelvin watches from the kitchen, then runs to hide in his bedroom.  But Cobb smashes the stuff there, too and, hearing a noise, raises the bed.  Kelvin screams.  Cobb runs out.

Cut to Corey and company at Norton Bridge, waiting to help Cobb with his "stalled truck," wondering why he's not around. 

Cut to the adults arriving at the mansion.  It has been ransacked, and the kids are gone!  They go through the house, calling their names. Aimee-Leigh pulls Kelvin out from under the bed and hugs him.  The poor boy is traumatized for life. Remember that as an adult, he hates thunderstorms.

Corey Protects His Dad: Cut to police interviewing everyone.  Judy complains that the intruder tore up her "Teen Hunk" magazines, but Jesse points out that he destroyed all their stuff, and angry-kicks.

Aimee-Leigh says that they have no idea who did it, but "a lot of people don't like us." Ok, now I see the point of the parking-lot debacle: to make the Gemstones think that someone besides Cobb trashed their house.  

Corey is sitting at the dining room table by himself, staring into space. Lori asks if he's ok.  He lies and says that Cobb had car trouble, so they gave him a jump.  Won't that story fall apart if they ask Jesse and Amber?  

The Devil's Piss: In the study, Jesse helps himself to a cigar and talks to his Dad about the loss of the Gold-Plated Bible.  He wonders if Eli and Aimee-Leigh or he and Amber will ever get a divorce.  Nope, Eli assures him, true love is forever: "I'll be with Aimee-Leigh until the day I die." Or until the day she dies.

About the baby's name: Instead of Stallone, Eli suggests Gideon.  His story is in the Book of Judges: he had doubts about following God's commands, but eventually he raised an army, and defeated the Midianites.  The people wanted him to become king, but he refused: "There is no king but God."  Jesse likes the name.  

Aimee-Leigh and Lori inspect the trashed recording studio, and suggest that the intruder  "had the Devil in him."

Back in the study, Jesse helps himself to some bourbon.  Eli strangely waits until he takes a sip to note that the intruder pissed in it.  Call back to Keefe's Episode 4.2 monologue about people drinking the Devil's piss.  Now we know who the Devil is -- unless it's a misdirection.

More after the break.

Josh Fadem: From Tulsa to "Twin Peaks," with Groundlings, zombies, coffee, a glory hole, and his d*ck

  

Link to the d*cks

We've been watching the 2017 sequel to Twin Peaks, the 1990s cult series about paranormal events in a quirky small town.  

The darn thing makes no f*king sense.  

The main plot, as far as I can figure out, involves the spirit of FBI Agent Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLaughlin), trapped in the Red Room 25 years ago with ghosts and demons who talk backwards and make cryptic statements.  Meanwhile, his body, named Dougie, took a job at an insurance agency in Las Vegas, had a wife and son, did something that got him targeted by the mob, and consorted with prostitutes.

After 25 years, Dale's spirit returns to Dougie's body, but can't perform everyday tasks, speak more than parroted words, or understand anything -- yet no one notices!  

In Episode 1.5, his wife dresses him in a ridiculous lime-green suit and drops him off at his office, where of course he just stands there until gopher Philip Bisby (Josh Fadem) notices, gives him a cup of coffee, and escorts him to his staff meeting, where he just stands there.  

Coffee guy Philip appears again in Episodes 1.6 and 1.7, luring Dougie with coffee and escorting him to the boss's office.  I found something homoerotic in the exchange: Philip sort of likes Dougie. 

He is cute -- and short, 5'9" to Kyle's 6'0" -- so I started looking for the other work of actor Josh Fadem, and maybe some n*de photos.

I thought he was a recent college graduate, new to Hollywood, on his first acting gig, it turns out Josh Fadem was in his mid-30s in 2017.  He now has 159 acting credits, 40 writing credits, a wikipedia article, and a number of n*de photos.

He was born in Tulsa, Oklahoma in 1980, and  graduated from Booker T. Washington High School.  Imagine being Jewish in Bible Belt, Oral Roberts University Tulsa. 

He moved to Los Angeles in 2000, trained with the Uptight Citizens Brigade and the Groundlings, and appeared in countless comedy shows, including It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, The Whitest Kids U Know, UCB Comedy Originals, The Bank Room, The Midnight Show, Key and Peele, Superstore, Minx, and American Dad.

And a lot of heterosexist shorts, like The Do It Up Date and I Think She Likes You.

On the other hand, The Gory Hole sounds provocative.

Josh is best known as Simon Barrons, assistant to Tina Fey's Liz Lemons on three episodes of 30 Rock (2009-2012).

And as Marshall Dixon, also called Joey, a University of New Mexico film student/teacher hired by unethical lawyer Saul in 14 episodes of Better Call Saul (2015-22).  Marshall doesn't seem to get any plot arcs of his own, but according to the Google AI, he has a gay subtext.

More after the break. Caution: explicit.

"Diary of a Future President": Bobby comes out Disney style, Part 1. With bonus Matthew Underwood

The conceit of Diary of a Future President, on the Disney Channel, is that we're watching the memories of U.S. President Elena Cañero-Reed in the distant-past year of 2020, when she was in the sixth grade in a Miami middle school. As Elena negotiates the world of best friends, cute boys, and lofty ambitions, her Mom gets a new boyfriend (Michael Weaver), and her older brother Bobby comes out.  Very gradually.  Here is the first part of his story, from Season 1:

Episode 1: As they are riding to school for the first day of class, Bobby  (Charlie Bushnell,  top photo) mentions his love of tennis and his friends, Ziggy (Sean Philip Glasgow, left)  and Danny (Nathan Arenas), aka Friend 1 and Friend 2.

Episode 2:  The boys relish being at the top of the middle school food chain.  A hot girl says hello to Bobby; his friends gush with excitement.  A guy named Liam(Brandon Severs, below) offers to sign up for the team.  Bobby promises to go easy on him at practice, but he turns out to be great. No indication that he is attracted to Liam at this point.  

Bobby pranks Liam by inviting him to a party that doesn't exist, so he shows up at the gym all alone in a suit.  Then they both get locked into the gym.

Episode 3: Liam has joined the gang.  Bobby has a date with Monyca.  The guys practice how to take off a girl's bra, but the date just involves talking.

Episode 4: Mom keeps interrupting Bobby and Monyca as they sit in the bedroom, trying to have their first kiss.  

He complains to his friend that they can't get enough privacy, so they throw a party with a "Two Minute Tongue Tank."  Bobby emerges, having kissed Monyca, looking confused.   Later, Liam congratulates him, and he looks confused again.

Episode 5: Bobby and his friends on the tennis team, getting bullied by the stereotypic arrogant, racist jerk tennis superstars.   The big match, which is extremely well attended and apparently has cheerleaders.  

Episode 6:  Friend #1 invites the gang to his house to riff on a bad movie.  Bobby says no, but when Monyca asks him out "to talk about their families" on the same night, he changes his mind.  Is he avoiding her?  

While watching the movie, Bobby feels bad.  Liam notices, and the next day asks what was wrong.  Bobby misses his dead father.  Liam: "If you want to talk about it, I'm here for you."  Ok, so he's not rejecting Monyca, he just didn't want to talk about families.

Episode 7:  Bobby and Liam get stuck in the supply room during the big match.  As they wait to be rescued, they discuss why Liam came to Miami to stay with his grandmother: he didn't get along with his older brothers.  They are sitting crosslegged on the floor, with their knees almost touching. Bobby notices and gets all flustered.  Then they are rescued.  And Bobby takes the ball they were playing with as a souvenir.  Ok, now it's obvious that he's attracted to Liam.

Episode 8: Bobby invites his friends to the big dance, but they don't want to go because they don't have girlfriends.  He suggests a prank, and they're up for it. 

Later, Bobby is waiting for his sister at the hair salon, when the swishy hairdresser insists on giving him a new doo.  "Are you going to the big dance?" he asks.  He knows about the middle school dance?   Bobby affirms that he's going "with some friends."  

"Nobody special that you want to look nice for?"  "Kinda...maybe." 

Hairdresser points out a photo of his hot husband, Bruno: they met at a middle school dance.  "Just kidding -- Fleet Week."  Bobby grins.  So he's aware that gay people exist.  

At the dance, the guys get ready to play the prank, when they see Liam dancing with a girl!  Bobby fumes with jealousy.  He rushes over and yells at him.  It's time for the prank!  You're abandoning your friends!  They end up fighting, and Bobby gets ejected.

More after the break

"Diary of a Future President": Bobby comes out Disney style, Part 2. With bonus Drake Bell

When we last saw Bobby Cañero-Reed (Charlie Bushnell), older brother of future president Elena  Cañero-Reed in the Disney channel series Diary of a Future President, he was having trouble saying "I'm...I think I might be...", in spite of knowing about 300 LGBT people and getting endless "If you want to talk, I'm there for you" support from family and friends. Plus he had chickened out of telling his crush, Liam, how he felt.  What will happen in Season 2?

Episode 1:  On the first day of high school, Bobby and his friends discover that they can't try out for the tennis team: all of the positions have been filled by older students.  Bummer: tennis was his passion.  So they go to the Student Activities Fair to find a new extracurricular activity.  So you can just join one club?  When I was in high school, I belonged to six.  Friend #1 joins the band, and eventually gets dropped from the gang; Friend #2 joins the Film Club; and Bobby's Crush Liam joins the club his girlfriend belongs to (junior environmentalists).  Bobby looks at the booth for the Gender-Sexuality Alliance, but is afraid to approach.

Left: Kyan Zielinski as Sister Elena's nemesis.)

Later, Bobby confides in Sister Elena...about not being able to play tennis.  She repeats: "I'm here for you."  Darn, he's got more people "here for him" than I have Facebook friends.

Episode 2:  Everyone wants to know what club Bobby joined as a substitute for tennis.  He claims bowling, but Mom discovers that there is no bowling club.  He lied to them! Why, did he secretly join the Gender-Sexuality Alliance?  

She seeks the advice of her friend Camilla, who says "Bobby is going through a lot right now.  Hormones, crushes...identity"  But oblivious Mom concludes that he's upset because her boyfriend is moving in.  Everything isn't always about you, C-plot character!

Meanwhile, Bobby's friends blow him off to go to club meetings, and Crush Liam keeps talking about his girlfriend.  Bobby goes out to the back of the school and angrily hits a tennis ball around.  

Later, Bobby and the gang (with Crush Liam's girlfriend tagging along) have tater tots. Whoops, there's a gay couple hugging at the next table!  Bobby grins.

Episode 3:  All freshmen have to give a give a 2-minute speech on "something you're passionate about.  Speak from your heart.  Show us a window into your soul."  Bobby is horrified.  Dude, just talk about tennis.  Or being gay.

Wait -- all freshmen?  In my junior high, that would be like 300 people.

Left: Eugene Kim as a teacher.

At lunch, the guys reveal that it is even more horrifying: that speech is the key to your popularity in high school (really?).  If you screw up, you will be an outcast forever (really?).

Bobby spends the episode discussing his stage fright with the entire cast, plus Grandma, and ends up giving a speech  about how unfair it is to have one speech label you for the rest of your life.  "We should be able to pick our on labels, or decide if we want to be labeled at all."  Yeah, I've heard that before.  "I don't like labels" means "I don't want to identify as gay, even though I like guys."  This is just a ploy to delay the "I'm...." statement.

Episode 4: Bobby is still upset over his Crush Liam having a girlfriend, but now things are even worse: Friend #2,  has a crush on a film club girl!  The guys spend the episode trying to push them together.  When she turns out to have a boyfriend already, Friend #2 is devastated.  Bobby tells him the he also had an unrequited love last year.  He won't say who it was.

Episode 5: Due to his epic Freshman History Speech, Bobby is chosen to be Mr. Manatee, like the homecoming king.  So he has to choose a Ms. Manatee to bring to the big dance. How heterosexist!

Left: still having trouble finding beefcake photos of the cast, so here's gay comedian Brendan Schannell, who played Jonny, with the Red M&M.

At school, girls are giggling and swooning over Bobby, and his friends are ecstatic.  "You're the top of the heap now!  You rule the school!"   They offer multiple suggestions about Ms. Manatee, but Bobby doesn't want to think about it.

Later, Bobby is all depressed about the necessity of dating a girl, and confides in his sister Elena, Mom's boyfriend Sam, and Mom's friend Camilla (who understands because had to date a boy for her quinceañera, even though she liked girls)

Finally...finally he confides in sister Elena again: "No one knows the real reason I hate Mr. Manatee so much."  Dude, everybody knows.  The hairdresser knows.  The lunch lady knows.  "I don't want to date a girl.  I want to date a guy. Because...(wait for it...)...I'm gay." 

"WHAT???  I had no idea!!!"  Just kidding.  Elena is happy -- and relieved -- that he finally came out.  So am I.

More after the break

Evan Mulrooney: Tony's gym boyfriend, an Albanian c*cktwizzler, a Trad Husband, Jar-Jar Binks' hookup. Is he gay or just pretending?

I find a lot of gay actors to profile from the gym buddies that Tony Cavalero posts about.  Today he worked out with Evan, whose Instagram is full of muscle pics and humorous POVS, like "Top Three Spots for a First Date in Wilmington, Delaware." One involves searching for the Mud Man in Dupont Marsh Fields.  I found a Dupont Environmental Education Center, but nothing about a Mud Man cryptid anywhere.

I guarantee that you have no idea what he means by "perfect protein snack."  Hint: it starts off with baked cottage cheese.

But  I need to know if he's an actor -- Tony often works out with civilians.

Success!  11 acting credits listed on the IMDB, more on his professional resume, plus two interviews.

Evan is Evan Mulrooney, who grew up in an "unstable household" in Wilmington, Delaware (he still suffers from general anxiety disorder).  

He attended the Salesian School (private, Catholic) and University of Maryland on a football scholarship, but some torn knees and concussions suggested that sports was not a viable career path.  

After graduation, he  moved to Chicago, where he studied at the Acting Studio  and the Annoyance Theater. 

Evan's theatrical credits include: 

Steamworks: The Musical, about the legendary gay bathhouse

Shitfyre: The Musical, a retelling of the Fyre Fest debacle (according to Google AI, "a disastrous music festival that failed due to poor planning and execution).

It’s Christmas Goddammit!: "a dark comedy about a truly dysfunctional family"

Queer Eye: The Musical Parody, presented by Second City.

At least two gay roles there.  

In 2022, Evan moved to Los Angeles.  He has 11 or 13 on-screen credits, depending on who you believe, including:

Crime boss Joe Bulo as a young man in four episodes of Fargo (2022)

Agron Darke, an Albanian mob enforcer on a 2023 episode of Justified: City Primeval.  The shooting script has him complementing Raylan's hat.  A mark calls him a "no-neck Albanian c*cktwizzler," and his brother Besnik says that "he's sensitive, like a woman."  So maybe he's got some gay hints.

Vinnie Caccimello in four episodes of Only Murderers in the Building (2025).  He's not in the cast list, but he may be the son of missing dry cleaner Nick Caccimello.

The movie Start without Me (2025), not listed in the IMDB: "Adam, a former musician (Finn Wittrock), and Marissa, a flight attendant with marital issues, embark on a life-changing Thanksgiving road trip."  

So Evan played at least one gay-subtext character in his tv work, and has at least one probable n*de photo.

More after the break

"Untamed": Surly cop investigates a murder at Yosemite National Park, with a gay-subtext buddy and a paranormal plot twist

 

The Top TV Show on Netflix this week is Untamed, about a murder in the "untamed wilderness" of Yosemite National Park in California. There's supposedly some paranormal content, so I'm in.

Scene 1: Two hot guys arre rock-climbing on the sheer face of El Capitan, a 3,000 foot rock monolith in Yosemite National Park. I'm getting nervous just watching them.  Suddenly a dead woman falls from the top, tangling into their rope and almost plummeting both of them to their deaths. 

The guys are stuntmen and professional rock climbers Colton Belley (left) and Adrian Persad (below).  

Colton fills his Instagram with girl-hugging photos, but Adrian does not.

So they were actually up there?  It wasn't CGI?

Cut to the crotch of a middle aged ranger, Turner (Eric Bana), examing the tracks of poachers who killed a bear.  The kid with him asks why they rode horses and used arrows: because they're quieter.  "But it's too late to catch them, so let's go swimming."  Aren't you at work? Why is your kid with you?  But then he gets the call.

He arrives at the crime scene on a horse -- the other cops, rangers, and paramedics mock him as "Gary F*cking Cooper."  How do you even know who that is?   He's an ISB Special Agent, and therefore thinks he's better than the lowly rangers; he "busts our balls" over everything.

He snootily ignores the introduction to Investigator Naya Vasquez and asks if the two climbers knew the Dead Girl.  No, they just looked up and there she was.  They didn't hear anything, or see anybody else.  Well, they were fighting for their lives.

It's starting to storm, so the SAR guys refuse to go down to where she is dangling and retrieve her, but Turner does it.  His evaluation: she was mauled by a coyote or dog; there are wounds from trying to fight them off; she ran up from the forest below with no shoes.

Scene 2: Coroner's Office. The coroner agrees with Turner's evaluation, and finds a large tattoo X filled with gold.  

At the station, the head ranger Paul (Sam Neill, left) advises him to be a little friendlier to the rangers.  "Nope, they're all idiots, and I hate them all."  How many murder investigations are there in this park, for them to work with him often? 

Park superintendent Lawrence wants the "animal attack" covered up.  If they think there are packs of wild animals attacking visitors, people will stay away.

Scene 3: At night, Turner rides his horse to the bottom of El Capitan, to see if the woman dropped anything on the way down.  She did: a bracelet with little letters on it.

Scene 4: A lady asleep in bed. Turner calls at 2:30 am to invite her to a meteor shower on Thursday.  Heterosexual identity established at Minute 18.  Must be his ex: he reminisces about their happy times together, but she isn't having it: "Are you drinking?"  She hangs up; her boyfriend offers to have a talk with him about boundaries.

Scene 5: In the morning, Agent Naya Vasquez drops by.  The boss wants her to help with the case, to make things go faster.  "Heck, no.  Your stupidity will slow me down." 

"Tough, the boss ordered me. I don't want to be here ause you're an incredibly sexy...I mean arrogant jerk."  

"Ok, hang on while I have breakfast."  Whiskey and pills.  "Ok, I'm ready."

She notices a photo of his kid, and tries to bond by mentioning that she has a kid about his age, and she's single, hint hint, but he's not into being social.  "Let's get to work"

Vasquez wants to canvass the lodges around, but he points out that the park is the size of Rhode Island and gets 100,000 visitors a week.  The busiest month is August, with 600,000 visitors. 

More after the break

Gemstones Episode 4.6: Kelvin cruises Anakin Skywalker, Jesse hangs d*ong, and Cobb gets his cob bit. With n*de Ricky and Smiley Creature

  

Link to the n*de dudes

Title: "Interlude IV."  The Interlude is usually Episode 5, but this season started with a stand-alone, so it's Episode 6.  We're halfway through the action in the present day, with Kelvin's meltdown, Judy's jealousy over the monkey, and Eli and Lori dealing with violence.

The New Parking Lot: 2002.  Eli is standing before the County Zoning Board, discussing his plan to build a 10-acre parking lot at the Salvation Center, which would involve buying and demolishing neighboring houses.   He claims that it will bring thousands of people to town, who will spend money, so it's a "win-win" situation.  Aimee-Leigh points out that they're also bringing in jobs.  The townsfolk growl and complain.  So am I.  Zoning restrictions?  How boring can you get? 

Cute council member Terry Cook is eating a donut.  An unnamed background player, he notes that they did several takes.  Sometimes he had to be angry; once he had to eat an egg.   He sort of looks like Jamie McGuire, the Smile-Faced Creature from From (n*de photo on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends)

 The council president yells: "You may be able to buy out desperate people, Dr. Gemstone, but that doesn't make it right!"   She notes that the county board usually rubber-stamps their crazy plans, but not this time: "The crowd of people behind you is voiceless, and someone has to be their voice!"  

The plan is rejected, and the couple leaves in defeat. Aimee-Leigh wonders why they're even doing this ministry stuff.

Eli: "For the lake house."  That is, for the money. Um...serving God?  Spreading the Gospel? Helping people?

They walk out into a huge demonstration.  Someone shoves pies in their faces.

Writers: This sequence has no connection to the plot.  In Season 3, the Y2K scandal caused Peter's meltdown and enmity toward the Gemstones, but Cobb's enmity has nothing to do with the new parking lot.

Corey Defends Daddy: At the lake house, Lori's husband Cobb (Michael Rooker) is trying to water-ski, but Eli drives too fast, and he capsizes. His manhood challenged, he splutters and swears. 

Meanwhile, on a raft-slide, Young Judy and Jesse laugh at Cobb, which upsets his son, Young Corey.

Young Kelvin defends him, pointing out that at least Cobb is trying, whereas Jesse spends all his time "being bad, having s*ex."  This has resulted in Amber getting pregnant.  The enraged Jesse tries to attack, but Corey stops him.

A New Album: While Lori and Aimee-Leigh watch their husband in the water, posturing to see who will become the Silverback, they advise the very pregnant Amber that she should go inside and take a nap.  She refuses, so they discuss how much they dislike their kids until Amber gets tired of it and leaves.

Then they discuss recording a new album; they haven't recorded together in years. 

Cut to the studio, where they are making up song lyrics while Judy listens.  Kelvin eavesdrops from outside the door. Notice that his t-shirt says The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius,  reflecting his belief that he is a "boy genius."  The tv show premiered on July 20, 2002, so this must be a few months later, maybe in September 2002.

More after the break

"How do I know if I'm g....": A Young Gideon Story

 

This story features Gideon Gemstone (Skyler Gisondo) of The Righteous Gemstones as a teenager.  All of the subjects of n*de photos are over 18.

Link to the n*de photos

“Hey, Bro,” Pontius called, rushing up to Gideon’s locker at the Riverpointe Christian Academy in Charleston. 

“Hey, yourself.”  Gideon was a bit suspicious: his younger brother rarely talked to him at school.  Sometimes he didn’t even accept a ride home, preferring to call one of the Gemstone drivers to avoid being seen with a “glee club nerd.”  An odd insult, since Gideon didn’t belong to Glee Club.

“Are you staying after for gymnastics?”

“No, that’s on Tuesday and Thursday. Why, what do you need?”

“Well, a ride home.”

“Why – the drivers are both busy, and your pogo stick’s in the shop?”

Pontius smiled, either not noticing the dig at his age, or too invested in whatever he wanted to care.  “And  can we stop for pizza on the way?”

This was really suspicious -- Pontius never invited him to go anywhere.  Maybe the age difference was too great for them to really be friends – Gideon was in eleventh grade, with a girlfriend and college plans, while Pontius in eighth grade still played with toys.  

Maybe they didn’t have much in common – Gideon was into gymnastics and acrobatics (he loved tumbling with Uncle Kelvin at the Gemstone Teen Center), while Pontius was into…well, hanging out with his buds and telling dirty jokes.  Or maybe they just didn’t like each other.  He must want a big favor, Gideon thought.

 They climbed into the Lexus that Granddad Eli gave him for his sixteenth birthday and drove down to Famulari’s, the go-to pizza place for all of the Gemstones, probably because the delivery guys didn’t mind driving ten miles out to the Compound.  The moment they sat down, Pontius said, "Ok, here’s the thing. I want to have a sleepover Friday night, and you have to come."

"No way, José! 16-year olds do not go to slumber parties.”

“You used to like them.”

“Sure, and I used to like Battlebots, too. I grew up.”

From his 10th birthday until last year, when he graduated to the high school building at the Academy, Gideon and Pontius hosted sleepovers at least once a month. They each invited two or three friendss, plus their younger brother Abraham by default. 

They spent the night playing video games, watching tv, eating snacks, and bragging about how late they were staying up.  Then they bedded down in the Kid Guest Room, Pontius and Abraham on the top bunk, Gideon and another boy “on the bottom,” and the rest in sleeping bags.   Gideon always took awhile to choose his bed partner: not necessarily his best friend.  Maybe even one of Pontius’s friends, if he was cute. 

How did I know which boys were cute?  Gideon thought, surprised by the memory.  Why did I care?

"We haven't had one for a long time!" Pontus protested.  "And Mom says I can't have one by myself – you have to be there, too."

The waiter came – a rather chunky, sandy-haired guy from Gideon’s Biblical History class – and they ordered their usual bacon-cheeseburger pizza (sometimes Mom and Dad called for something “healthy,” and they had to scour the menu for healthy toppings.  What kind of pizza topping was healthy?).

“What will my friends say if they find out I went to a sleepover with a bunch of eighth grade dorks?  What will my girlfriend say?”  He and Katie had only been dating for three weeks, but Gideon mentioned her every chance he got. “Katie likes lima beans. Katie’s aunt lives in Belgium.  Katie’s favorite Harry Potter character is…”  

"They won't all be dorks," Pontius said.  "How about if you can invite some of your friends. Whoever you want.”

"As if!  My friends are way too cool for sleepovers!”

"Well, maybe not one of your friends, just guys that you like.  You know, want to spend time with, like the guys that Uncle Kelvin hangs out with”

Gideon felt the anger rising.  “I do not want to spend time with guys like that, Jackass!  Uncle Kelvin is gay, and I have a girlfriend!”

Pontius laughed.  “You dummy, no way is Uncle Kelvin a homo!”

“How do you know?”

“Number One, he’s got muscles.  Number Two: he works with kids…”

“You’re an idiot. Gay guys have muscles sometimes, and they can work with kids like anybody else.”

Pontius sneered. “Number Three, he never brings a little fruity friend to the family dinner….”

“Maybe he’s afraid to bring a boyfriend around. Granddad Eli might kick him out of the church.”

“Number Four: He doesn’t live in California,”  Pontius said with a flourish, as if that was a definitive argument.  “Why do you want Uncle Kelvin to be gay so much?  Are you in love with him?  Do you want to, like, hug and kiss?” 

“Dude, that’s my uncle!” Gideon said, disgusted.

“Ok, so if he wasn’t your uncle, you’d be all into him.”  He made pucker sounds. “Oh, Thweetie, your muscles are so big! Kiss me again!”

“You’d better stop talking trash about me if you want me to come to your darn sleepover.” 

“Ok, ok, sorry…Thweetie.”  He giggled. “Now pick two guys that you want to invite. Somebody you want to spend time with.”

“Someone you want to spend time with” made sense to Gideon.  Maybe a guy who was a little standoffish at  school, or constantly involved with his own clique.  This could be his chance to break through and make a friend.

"Ok, let’s go for it. For my first boy I pick Derek from Gemstone Teen Time.”  A tall, blond 10th grader with a round angelic face.  For some reason he went to public school, not the Academy.  When he got the lead in the drama club production of Oklahoma last fall, Gideon made his Mom and Dad and brothers all go to see him, but they didn’t hang out afterwards. 

"No problemo.  Derek and me are tight."  He paused.  "So...who's the second boy?"

More after the break. 

Stephen Geoffreys: The quirky queer teen from "Fright Night" and "976-Evil" bulks up and becomes a gay video star

Link to the n*de dudes

If you've seen Heaven Help Us (1985), about boys in a Catholic boarding school (on HBO MAX), then you've seen Stephen Geoffreys' d*ck and backside.  For now, he's the short guy expressing hetero-mania with Kevin Dillon and Patrick Dempsey.

Stephen was born in Cincinnati in 1964, attended a performing arts high school and New York University, and made his mark as a theatrical actor.  In 1984, he was nominated for a Tony for his performance in The Human Comedy, based on the William Saroyan novel.  

Then he humped...I mean jumped into movies:

After Heaven Help Us, Fraternity Vacation (1985): Two frat brothers (Tim Robbins, Cameron Dye) take their nerdy pledge Wendell (Stephen) to Palm Springs, where they compete over a bikini babe.  It got lousy reviews, even for a teen s*x comedy.

Fright Night (1985): Evil Eddie (Stephen), sidekick to high schooler Charlie (William Ragsdale), is heavily queer-coded; as heavily as you could be in 1985.  The Vampire (Chris Sarandon) seduces him like a potential boyfriend. Then eats him.

Queer-coded guys in horror movies!  Stephen had found his niche!  

During the next few years, he played queer-coded guys in episodes of Amazing Stories and The Twilight Zone, and in 976-EVIL (1988), his second most famous movie.  

Unfortunately, in the 1980s, queer-coded usually meant evil.  He found himself playing a nasty prison inmate in The Chair (1988), a nasty drug dealer in Moon 44 (1990), where he didn't even get to kiss Brian Thompson, and a nasty rent boy in Wild Blade (1991), reviewed as "a painfully awful piece of sludge."  

But he had performed Shakespeare and William Saroyan!  At this point Stephen gave up.  

On Hollywood, that is.  

He had developed a muscular physique, so why not find his new niche in gay films? First as Larry Bert, then as Sam Ritter, Stephen appeared in 29  over the next decade.  

More after the break.