**Link to the n*de photos**

We've been watching Modern Family from the beginning. Even at an episode almost every night, sometimes two, it's taken over eight months. Now we're in Season 11, and continuing just out a sense of duty. The characters are getting flanderized, there are too many maudlin "misty water-colored memories" scenes, and the plotlines are reeking of desperation from the writers' room. Haley and Dylan have twins. Gloria becomes a realtor. Alex moves to Antartica? Mitchell and Cam move to Missouri?

Besides, Luke (Nolan Gould) has bulked up, but never takes his shirt off.

Episode 11.4, "The Pool Party," reeks of silliness, but offers some excellent beefcake. In the A Plot, Gloria, wife of family patriarch Jay Pritchett, suddenly developed an interest in becoming a realtor, so Jay's son-in-law Phil -- who owns a magic store and a parking lot, teaches realty at the community college, runs a food podcast, and still has time to work as a realtor -- has hired her as his intern. She's pushing to be hired full-time, but Phil isn't sure.

They work on the mystery of who is stealing the "For Sale" signs from the homeowners, to keep people from buying the house (don't they usually search online instead of driving by?). Phil interrogates his rivals: Gil Thorpe (Rob Riggle), but he says that he's gay now, so he doesn't have time for a petty vendetta.

Meanwhile, Gloria attaches the tracker for her husband Jay's dog to the sign, and follows it to catch the thief: Sam, played by Hunter J. Mitchell, now 18 and rather hunky (check the n*de twink on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends). The owners' son, he keeps stealing the sign so he won't have to move and leave all his friends. Gloria gives a maudlin speech about how change is hard, but it leads to new experiences and new people, and Phil is so impressed that he gives her the assistant job.

In the B Plot, Jay is in charge of housekeeping while Gloria works late and fails to appreciate the dinner he cooked or his new jogging suit. Right, he has become a stereotypic housewife, and feels emasculated.

In the C Plot, Claire wants to convince her daughters Haley and Alex to go to work in the corporate world, so she claims that being a CEO is wonderfully fulfilling. Then she has pretend that a major disaster is no problem at all.

The D Plot is the dumbest. Gay couple Mitch and Cam are invited to a pool party by their friend Longinus (Kevin Daniels). He says that there will be kids, so they bring their daughter Lily; but he meant "twinks."

The pool is crowded with musclemen in their 20s and 30s. How would you respond? How would any gay guy respond?

Right, he would mingle and cruise, or at least enjoy this paradise of pecs, abs, and junk. But Cam and Mitchell are horrified. "We can't take off our shirts at this smoke show." Huh? Why not?

I think the guy in the pink hat is adult video star Chris Wolfe (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends). Another is Bryce McKinney (left).

More after the break

"Calm down!" Longinus tells them. "You're not even the oldest guys here. He points out an elderly guy (Alan Wayne Anderson, born in 1969) -- whoops, a gorgeous physique!

"My grandma was right!" Cam exclaims. "I'm in in hell!"

Don't you mean heaven, buddy?

Left: Alan ready to play Rocky in The Rocky Horror Picture Show ("I'm just seven hours old, truly beautiful to behold.").

They're so self-conscious that they run up to the bedroom, where four other guys are furiously working out or trying to remedy other "defects," like being pale or too hirsute.

"Shut the door!" Bobby (Sam Lloyd) exclaims. "They can smell the decay." I'd date you.

Raymond (Kevin Berntson, left) complains, "I've never felt so hairy." Ever hear of bears?

Mitch and Cam agree: "How horrible is this party?" Finally their daughter Lily convinces them that they shouldn't be body shaming themselves.

Eventually Lily teaches them that, although they are ugly, they have a lot to be proud of. Cam is the city's first openly gay high school football coach. Mitch is an assistant district attorney. Ronaldo has a business, a husband, and a son. And there's nothing wrong with your looks. But even if there was, how could that stop you from looking?

Now suddenly cured of body-shaming, the six guys hey shouldn't be ashamed. So they go down and jump into the pool.