Link to the n*de dudes
Whoa.
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
I'm living in the forest of my dream
I know the night is not the way it seems. I must believe in something, so I'll make myself believe that this night will never go
-- "Self Control" (1984)
So who is Alex Sampson? His tattoo says "The True North, strong and free," so he's Canadian.
Unless it's horizontally:
And gay, or at least open to gay fans. An Instagram follower says, "No shirtless gym pics!" Alex responds, "There are people here, Dave."
That's alright for them, but it ain't enough for me
I need what the eyes can see: his anatomy.
We've established that you've got muscles, you're Canadian, you heart Korea, and you're gay or gay-positive. Have you done anything else, like..acting?
Whoops, he's just a singer. I don't usually profile singers, since I don't listen to music much -- it's too distracting for background noise while doing anything else, except maybe housework and the treadmill at the gym, and then I listen to the music popular during my years in the gay mecca, West Hollywood.
But how can profiling a singer born in 2004 bring back memories of the 1980s?
Alex was born on January 20th, 2004, in Atikokan, northwestern Ontario, the "canoe capital of Canada." Very isolated, 2 1/2 hours from Thunder Bay.
And Mama always told me,
-- "Billie Jean" (1983)
He knew that he wanted to become a singer from elementary school, when he sang "Gold" by Owl City at a talent show.
'Cause what he does, he does so well,
Makes me wanna yell,
Let's hear it for the boy
More after the break
In 2024, Alex was a semi-finalist on the 19th season of America's Got Talent. One of the judges called him a cross between Shawn Mendes.
I don't know who they are, but here's an artist's interpretation of Chris Isaak (n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends)
Just about half past ten...
For the first time in history
It's gonna start raining men
And Shawn Mendes modeling for Calvin Klein
Alex has 18 music videos listed on the IMDB. Most of the titles are hetero-exclusive: "Pretty Baby," "If You Were My Girl," "The Girl Who Cried Love." But so were most of the songs we listened to in West Hollywood. We fixed them:
Restaurants and movie screens
I don't even know me anymore
My friends are getting sick of me
Cause all I do is talk about him
"All That We Could Have Been" drops pronouns, so it could apply to men or women
I gave up happiness, just to see you pleased
But I have come to realize that love is just a war
I've given up, no, I won't fight no more
Doesn't look like you've given up. Shall we start here, or do you want to turn around?
Dang it, Dude is straight, with a girlfriend, but he pretends to be gay on occasion, or else he's sorta bi. Here he's in Paris, "looking for a baguette."
Could we see your baguette, Bro?
N*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends)
See also: Jake Rory: The Shropshire Lad plays gay-vague on EastEnders, falls in love with Mercutio, gets n*ked in a third of his on-screen roles.











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