Beef, Season 2: Reggie Mantle and his lady fight Poe Dameron and his wife. With Reggie's d*ck, Poe n*de, and heteronormative erasure

Link to the n*de dudes

Beef Season 1, on Netflix, featured a road rage incident that spins out of control, plus the cute Steven Yeun in a gay subtext romance with Young Manzino. Maybe Season 2 (2026) has more more beefcake and buddy-bonding, or maybe even a canonical gay guy. 

Scene 1: A Male Caterer hands a tray of drinks to a Female Caterer, and kisses her.  Ugh!  That's inappropriate in the workplace. Strike 1. 

She serves a bottle of beer to an older man, who hugs a woman and kisses the top of her head.  Strike 2. 

 They walk toward the outdoor gathering, where an Old Guy thanks his Beautiful, Talented Wife for organizing everything.  They smooch -- for a long, long, long time.  Everyone applauds.  Strike 3.

How annoyingly heteronormative!  I'm only going to continue because of the Male Caterer -- not lised on the IMDB, but listed on Wikipedia as Austin, played by Charles Melton, Reggie on Riverdale. (c*ck on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends). 

After the presentation, the Old Guy and his Beautiful, Talented Wife walk through the crowd, being congratulated by everyone.  

A guy in a limousine, who may be William Fitchner (backside on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends), invites Old Guy to Vegas with The Boys.  A boys only weekend? Tell me more.

Then the two get into their car,  growl at each other, and drive away. 

Beautiful, Talented Wife is upset because the Old Guy, Josh, accepted a date with Troy on her birthday.  He promises to cancel, but the forgetting is the main problem.  

Scene 2: The Male Caterer demonstrates his bicep to the Female Caterer before they're called away to clean up. The new owner of the country club is coming tomorrow, all the way from Korea, so everything has to be spotless. I think they're employes of the country club, but I'm still going to call them the Caterer and her Boyfriend.

They ignore their chores to sit in the tennis court and smooch for a long, long, long time.  Suddenly they're interrupted by yelling.  They look up to see Old Guy Josh and his Beautiful, Talented Wife, now at home, with some new topics of argument: why does he never install the herb garden she wants, and why isn't he as unhappy as she is?  Wait -- is Old Guy/Beautiful Wife's apartment directly above the tennis courts?  But they were driving away!  

In other news, Old Guy Josh promised to build them a bed-and-breakfast, but after six years it's only halfway done.  So he goes outside to scatter the mulch right now!  She follows to continue the argument.  He squandered her inheritance, she's a drunk, they haven't done bedroom stuff in a year, and so on...

Scene 3: Discussing how much they love each other, the Caterer Couple drive to Old Guy/Beautiful Wife's house.  But if they live far away from the country club, how was the Caterer Couple interrupted by their argument? 

They almost run into an additional Old Guy as he pulls out of his driveway.  

Is there going to be a second road rage incident? 

Nope, it was just a tease.  The Caterer Couple arrive at the house, discuss how much they love each other again, kiss extensively (fast forward time...)

Inside, Old Guy Josh (Oscar Isaac, Poe on Star Wars) asks his Beautiful Wife if she would prefer him to go back to the way he was before they married. "S*xual deviant or celibate?  Not much of a choice." So, what was his deviance?  Was he gay?  They discuss how much they hate each other.

It seems that Caterer and Boyfriend have come to return Old Guy's wallet, which he lost on the tennis court.  How did a wallet interrupt them?

They hear screaming and approach the house, camera on.  Old Guy Josh and his Beautiful Wife are now throwing things  and wrecking each others' prized possessions.  He is about to attack her with a golf club, when they see the Caterer Couple watching -- and filming -- them.  Old Guy: "Sh*t!"

Scene 4: On the way home, the Caterer Couple discuss how much they love each other, and then what they should do about the domestic abuse incident. Caterer: " I love you so much...they come to the country club every day.! We shouldn't get involved."  

Boyfriend: "I love you so much...whatever you want is fine with me, as I have no agency of my own.   Want to kiss for five minutes at this stop sign?" 

At home, Old Guy Josh and Wife discuss what they should do about the situation.

Old Guy: "I hate you so much...We don't need to do anything. It was just an employee dropping off my lost wallet."

Wife: "I hate you so much.  I think you should threaten to fire them if they talk. Want to fight some more?  There's some stuff in the other room that we haven't thrown at each other yet."

Phone call!  It's the new owner of the country club, speaking through a translator, asking if everything is ready for her arival tomorrow.

More after the break

Scene 5: In the morning, Old Guy Josh tells the other country club employees to be on their best behavior.  Everyone is worried about more jobs being cut.  "In the last three months, I've had to let a lot of people go," he says, looking directly at Caterer, who texts her boyfriend: "I love you so much!  He's talking about job cuts!  Do you think he'll fire me?"

Boyfriend: "I love you so much...we should have gone to the cops!"

Caterer: "I love you so much...wait, he's walking right toward me!"

Old Guy Josh: "No phones unless it's work related."  Har-har.

Meanwhile, back at the apartment, Boyfriend reveals that he was just helping out last night: he's really a personal trainer.  He's a personal trainer.  His client cancels because he's in Dubai -- and will be there for six months! Dang, no income.

Disappointed, Boyfriend glances at his football trophy, does shirtless push-ups, and tries to resurrect a dying bee.  He texts Caterer: "I love you so much...a bee died in the house.  I cried."  Way over-sensitive, aren't you, fella?

Scene 6: A lady and her dog in a pillow room.  She finds one that she likes, and prays that it will let her get the project, save money, and "claw her way out of this pit."  Hey, that's  no way to talk about the room your pillow god lives in!

The Boyfriend drops by.  "My girlfriend, whom I love, and I are a safe space.  We can work with you to get you out of the situation."  Oh, she's the Old Guy's Beautiful Wife!  She looks about 30 years younger, and her hair is different.  

"It was nothing, just a fight.  All couples have them." 

"But...you don't start every sentence with 'I love you so  much.'"  

"If the couple doesn't get into an argument every now and then, they're hiding something," Beautiful Wife sneers. Then, changing the subject, "Have you heard the Gospel of the Pillows?" I swear, I'm only exaggerating a little.  The lady worships pillows.

Boyfriend scrams.

Scene 7: Caterer is driving the beverage cart across the field, when Old Guy Josh almost crashes into her. He orders a White Claw, then says "Last night was fun, huh?"

She is shocked, but he's talking about the fundraiser, har har. 

"So...my Wife said that your Boyfriend, whom you love, dropped by our house today." 

She is shocked, but Old Guy pulls out his wallet and hands her $200 as a "gift" for returning the wallet/ bribe for keeping her mouth shut.  She won't take it, so he gives her a speech about how guests at the country club expect you to ignore their...um...stuff.  "They want to pretend that everything is ok. If you can't pretend that everything is ok, I'll..."  Kill her?  No, fire her

Scene 8: Inside the country club, Beautiful Wife is yelling at someone because the tablecloths are inadequately eggshell colored.  Apparently she did all the interior decorating. Old Guy Josh comes up: "It's all good.  I threatened the Caterer."  

Then it's "Smiles, everyone!  Smiles!" as the new owner, an elderly Korean woman, emerges from her limo with her interpreter.

Left: Song Kang-Ho as the Boss's husband.  He hasn't appeared yet.

They give her the grand tour, and brag about various design elements and the Pullitzer Prize that Wife's Brother won (hopefully this will be important later).  She is not impressed.   "Have someone competent re-design everything."  

Meanwhile, Caterer is gathering golf balls from a trap when Boyfriend texts: "I love you so much.  Is it weird that we never fight?" Uh-oh, the wife got into his head.

Caterer: "I love you so much...Why did you visit the Wife and suggest that she was a victim of domestic abuse?"

Suddenly she doubles over and throws up, as the golfers down below discuss the quality of her backside.

Scene 9: Caterer in the doctor's exam room, watching the video.  Finally, another man. I was getting bored with Old Guy and Boyfriend, in spite of the shirtless push-ups. He enters and tells her that she has an ovarian cyst, which can be fatal.  She needs surgery as soon as possible.  Also, she won't be able to get pregnant.

Ulp, her country club job doesn't come with benefits. 

Boyfriend arrives and asks what happened.  "I love you so much: It was just an upset stomach, no big deal." 

Scene 10: Meanwhile, Old Guy Josh is trying to explain why he caved so quickly with the New Boss'ss demand that they re-decorate everything.  Wife thinks he did it on purpose, to insult her.   No, his contract renewal is coming up, and the Boss will fire him if he disagrees with the tiniest, most inconsequential decision. 

Back at the house, Beautiful Wife, now regressed to her teen years, throws out all her pillows.  You're going to abandon your religion just because of one unanswered prayer?  

Back at the country club, and elderly again, Beautiful Wife glares at a guy giving a tennis lesson (Matthew Kim, left).   He drops what he's doing to gaze at her.  So a glare signifies romantic interest?

Scene 11: Boyfriend and Caterer are doing it (backside shot). He says "I love you" a lot, which she finds distracting.  "I love you so much.  Just shut up and do it already."

Cut to Old Guy Josh doing it to a video call.  WHen he finishes, he unsubscribes to the service, and goes for a night time run.  Meanwhile, the Wife is having fun leading guys on and then rejecting them on hookup sites. 

Cut to Boyfriend asking Redidt why the bedroom stuff with the Caterer was weird. How was it weird?  I'm no expert, but it was just the missionary position. Isn't that the usual procedure?

Redditor consensus: either she's cheating, or having a bad day."

He is interrupted by her crying in the bathroom, and asks what's wrong. She tells him about the cyst. That was fast.  I figiured she'd be hiding the truth for 3-4 episodes.  "I'm upset because I can't get pregnant...I cant do that one, basic thing that this whole, like everything, is all about, everywhere."  WTF?  Everything is about having babies?  Reducing human life to mere reproduction?  We might as well be fruit flies. I thought the endless kissing was bad, but this is heinous.

"Well, I can't help you fulfil the only reason we exist, but I can get us some money for your operation."  

He means a systemic redistribution of wealth, but Caterer has a better idea: blackmail the Old Guy. 

As the Wife rejects more guys and Old Guy Josh returns from the run,t he doorbell rings.  It's Caterer and Boyfriend.  They brought cookies.  The end,

Beefcake: A lot of Charles Melton as the Boyfriend.

Heterosexism:  If those idjits discuss how much they love each other one more time, I'm bursting an artery.  Plus the only reason we exist is to make more of us.  Goodbye, Shakespeare, Michelangelo, Bach, Beethoven, and the films of Pasolini. And gay people, of course.

Gay Characters: I checked the Episodes 1-4 cast lists.  Of course some important cast members, like the main star Charles Melton, are missing, but it appears to be straight people all the way down, with the possible exception of Tommy Do as a club owner.

My Grade: This was so incredibly over the top that it was actually rather fun to watch, in spite of the rampant heterosexism and absence of gay characters. B.

See also: Jordan Calloway: "Unfabulous" hunk, "Riverdale" jerk, supervillain, firefighter, fundamentalist.

Finn Carr: The "Alexa & Katie" kid grows up, swims, flexes, does drag, and plays a gay-subtext soap opera teen.

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