"The Kids Are Alright," eight years later. Have any of the family's eight sons muscled up? Are any gay? Any adults with n*de photos?

  

Link to the n*de dudes

In 2018, I had already switched to streaming, but if you were watching network tv, you may have caught The Kids Are Alright , tucked between The Connors and Black-ish on Tuesday nights.  It was one of those "Looking back on my childhood" tv shows, like The Wonder Years and The Goldbergs.  In this case, Tim Doyle looks back on his Irish-American family in the 1970s with eight children, all sons.

Eight sons!  And Michael Cutlitz (p*nis on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) as the hot and extremely prolific dad!  If I knew it existed, I would have been there!  

No doubt they expected the show to last for several years, with cute kids changing into teenage hunkoids and adult musclemen before our eyes.

No gay characters, of course, but  Tim Doyle is the producer responsible for allowing Ellen to say "Yep, I'm gay" in 1997 (and threatening to quit when the skittish suits said "no"), and put a gay teenager into the Irish-Catholic Real O'Neals (2016-18), so he included some queer coding for two of the boys.  

Apparently viewers found this too skittish, when they could see actual, out gay characters on Modern Family, Riverdale, Will & Grace, and lots of other shows.  And they didn't want to wait around several years for the boys to grow into hunks.  Viewers dipped to 3 million per episode, compared to 9 million for The Conners and 5 for Black-Ish, so after 22 episodes The Kids tanked.

But let's see if any of the guys have turned on the hunkitude, or come out, during the last eight years.

First son Lawrence (Sam Straley) trained to be a priest, but left to help "save the world." And date girls.  

Sam is best known for The Dropout, Welcome to Flatch, and Waiting for the Light to Change.  I don't see any gay content in his work, but he's not married to a lady, so there's real life gay potential.

Second son Eddie (Caleb Foote) has a girlfriend, and disturbs his parents by being sexually active. 

Caleb Foote is best known as straight Agent Randolph on NCIS: Origins.  He's got a wife.

Third son Francis (Sawyer Barth) is queer-coded.  He joins a church boxing tournament to impress his dad, but can't take it, so Timmy (below) takes over; and "secretly" designs a set for the musical Timmy is starring in. 

Today Sawyer identifies as queer, and uses they/them pronouns.  They and Dylan Pitanza run the Utopia for Losers, a "punk and grunge" company dedicated to performing overlooked plays: so far,  Mud, Pounding Nails into the Floor, and Reasons to be Pretty.

And Crush, written by Christopher Paul Richards (below), with Dylan and a girl on a disastrous first date. I don't know why the promo shows two guys getting intimate (photo on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

More after the break. 

Fourth son Joey (Christopher Paul Richards) has a plotline about wanting to see "a woman's complete anatomy," but he is "unnerved" by the idea that a girl might be into him, and he's got a three-episode buddy-bond with Davey  (Thomas Barbusca, not shown).

He is best known for Me, Myself, and I (2017-18), a comedy that looks at a man's life at age 14, 45, and 65.   Chris plays his stepbrother at age 14. Later he is played by Ryan Hansen and Ed Begley Jr.

Ryan Hansen is going down on RG Beefcake and Boyfriens

And Goosebumps, Season 2 (2025): When Dad was a kid, his  older brother (Chris) and three friends vanished.  In 2024, his teenage children investigate.

Fifth son Timmy (Jack Gore) has the most queer codes. He's into theater, poetry, and ventriloquism, which the parents find insufficiently masculine. No girl-chasing plotlines evident, although in a late episode, his parents find glue stains on his bed and think he's doing you-know-what.  He's actually making a crafts project behind their back.

Jack played the son of two awful gay dads in Ideal Home (2018) and Gordie Axelrod, son of the CEO of Axe Global (Damien Lewis) on Billions (2016-23).  He hasn't updated his social media recently.

On RG Beefcake and Boyfriends: Damien's d*ck, probably. 

Sixth son William (Andy Walken, left, with his sister) was too young to get a plotline.

Now 20 years old, Andy played Wheels on We Can Be Heroes and Dusty on GenV.  Fans are conflicted on whether the characters are gay or not.

Seventh son Patrick (Santino Barnard, beefcake shot on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) was also too young to get a plotline.  Now 18, Santino played Jason Wheeler on NCIS Origins and Evan on a Christmas Story clone,  8-Bit Christmas.

Eighth son Andy (Sawyer and Jax Laucious) was an infant.  The twins, now nine years old, haven't done any acting since The Kids.  But their mom's Instagram reveals that she has a wife.

One queer, one probably gay, and one possibly gay out of seven (not counting the Laucious twins).  Not bad.

None of the guys over 18 have n*de photos online, but we can correct that with a random Irish dude (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

See also:Justin Ellings: Kyle from the awful clown episode of "Modern Family" plays Corey Haim and Sean Giambrone, shows his physique and his d*ck. 

"Goosebumps: The Vanishing": Ross from "Friends" as a crazy botanist, some gay teens, a monster, and Sam McCarthy's....

Complete Savages: In 2004, a sitcom about a dad and his five macho sons fails dramatically. With Ryan Pinkston, Jake's junk, and two n*de Carradines

Jake McDorman: Ryan Pinkston's brother goes on to date a superhero, a vampire, and a nun. With adult photos.

The Real Bulges of "The Real O'Neals"