"The Borough": A spider-monster, Stepford smiles, and elderly hunks in a desert retirement community. With Begley bottom and silver fox c*ck

Link to the n*de photos

Who can resist an old guy?  A silver fox, 50 or 60 or 70, with the tight toned body that comes from spending every day at the gym, decades of experience in putting things in all the right places, and a huge disposable income  ("I'm going to China next week.  Want me to bring you anything?" ) . So I'm looking forward to The Boroughs, a new Netflix series about paranormal shenanigans in a creepy retirement community.  There will probably be an elderly gay couple hanging around, and there will certainly be a lot of elderly beefcake.  

Scene 1: A creepy cul-de-sac of ranch-style houses, surrounded by desert, with a mountain in the background.  We zoom into one, where an elderly lady (Dee Wallace of The Stepford Wives) is eating a tv  dinner and watching Jeopardy.  She facetimes her husband Edward  (Ed Begley Jr.) at the Manor.  He wants to come home, but she won't permit it.  He says "The owls are in the walls."  

Ed Begley Jr. played the physics professor mentor on Young Sheldon, starring gay actor Iain Armitage. 

She falls asleep watching The Golden Girls.  Suddenly the tv turns itself off, and scary tentacles creep down the walls. A monster attacks!  And I thought Edward at the Manor was facing paranormal.

Scene 2: A lady and her husband Neill (Rafael Casal) drive

through the badlands.  In the back seat, we see her elderly dad, teenage daughter, and early teen son Cody.

Left: Eldon Jones (Cody) at Albuquerque Pride. Notice the rainbow flag and beads.  As you read the rest of the review, return to this photo as often as you need to.  While writing, I returned to it a lot.

 They arrive at a guard house in the middle of the desert, with nothing around, and tell the guard that grandpa, Sam Cooper, is moving in today.

"Welcome to the Boroughs,, where you'll have the time of your life."

Grandpa (flatly): "Ironic slogan for a place people come to die."

They cross the town square, full of grinning oldsters, and on to the isolated cul-de-sac.  Movers are already putting his furniture in, plus whatever was left behind by the last resident -- the lady who was eaten.  Her husband is still in an assisted care facility.

Their AI assistant, Seraphim, asks "What can I do to make your day more enjoyable?"  Grandpa isn't having it; he pulls the darn device out of the wall.  Back Story: His wife wanted to move to the Boroughs, but she recently died, and he doesn't want to be in a square coffin by himself. 

Daughter suggests that if he really hates it there, he could come live with them.  No, their place is too small.  Besides, he sunk all of his money into this retirement community, and signed a contract.  He's stuck.

Grandpa is played by Alfred Molina, the murdered boyfriend of playrwright Joe Orton in Prick Up Your Ears (1987).  

Scene 3: As Grandpa unpacks, he sees a commercial featuring the CEO of the community.  Maybe if he asks nicely -- or angrily -- the guy in charge could release him from his contract and return some of his money.

Next door neighbor Jack drops by with a "welcome wagon" six-pack of beer. He starts spewing about his golf game, sleep apnea, "touch of the gout," and difficulty  maintaining his goal of entertaining ladies every night. Girls, girls, girls!  Heterosexual identity established at Minute 13.  Finally he invites Grandpa to a neighborhood barbecue.  "No thanks, I hate barbecues.  And people.  And...well, just about everything."

Left: Jack is played by Bill Pullman, known for his underwear scene (and torture) in The Serpent and the Rainbow

Scene 4: Grandpa awakens in bed with his wife (Jane Kaczmarek).  I thought she was dead?  They hug, kiss, close-up hold hands (so you can see their wedding rings), and discuss their plans for the day (gender polarized shopping/working on the car).   It goes on and on, and becomes more and more soppy-maudlin.  Is this a dream, or is an evil succubus trying to control him?

Jane Kaczmarek played the Mom on "Malcolm in the Middle" and the 2026 sequel "Life's Still Unfair," which has gay and nonbinary characters.

It was a dream: Grandpa awakens to revving - the Girl Next Door (Geena Davis) trying to get her car started. 

The Geena Davis Institute on Gender in the Media sponsors research on female and LGBTQ representation.

  

There's also an old guy doing tai chi, which disgusts Grandpa.  You basically hate everyone, don't you?  Oh, wait, you already told us that.

Scene 5: Tai Chi Guy (Clarke Peters) goes into the house, where his wife (Alfre Woodard)  has intel on the new guy.    So, is she in charge of the nefarious plot?  No, she's just a retired reporter, passing the time with social media stalking.   I'd better get some nefarious plot soon, or I'm leaving.  

Grandpa goes to the company headquarters, a huge building with a giant atrium.  Apparently this community is much more extensive than the isolated cul-de-sac we've seen so far.  The receptionist tells him that the CEO is out today.  

Suddenly he flashes back, or has a new memory, of yelling at his wife for picking up the wrong kind of onions.  She calms him down, they dance, things get sickening, with lots of smooching and fast-forwarding -- and suddenly he's back at headquarters.  He wonders if he's going crazy.

Scene 6: Two security guards, Hank and Paz (Eric Edelstein, Carlos Miranda), are sent to the Community Center, where the Girl Next Door is teaching an art class.  She complains that a bag of rose quartz has been stolen, but they don't want to report it.  Head Guard Hank warns that if she insists, they'll claim that she's losing her memory, and should be sent to the dreaded Manor.  

Scene 7: That night, Grandpa falls asleep on the couch watching an old movie.  In the morning, he's awakened by the revving of the Girl Next Door's car.  He fixes it for her, but won't say "You're welcome" in exchange for her "Thank you."  So she yells at him.

Back in the house, he finds Edward, from Scene 1 (the one whose wife was eaten).  He yells that the owl is in the wall, blames Grandpa for taking away his wife, and attacks.  After subduing him, Grandpa wants to call the police, but the security guards explain that this is unconsolidated territory, with just a sheriff, so for most things they depend on security.  And the CEO wants to talk to him.

More after the break

Jasper Keen: From the High Desert to the Big Island to a BFA, with some gay and guy-hugging roles and a hot buddy

   

Link to the n*de dudes

I was watching the first episode of Duster on MAX (I guess back to HBO now), a sort of homage to 1970s blacksploitation movies, with Josh Holloway of Lost bicker-flirting with the Get Christie Love-type Nina (who is not credited in the cast list).  While the Crime Boss is congratulating his staff on their latest caper, the long-haired, limp-wristed, femme-ringed Sean criticizes his coworker: "You're telling me you've never had fondue?  That sh*t is clutch!"

An obviously gay guy employed by a crime family in the 1970s?   He only appears in that one scene in an episode cluttered with Duster grinning as he is drooled over by endless scantily-clad women, all of whom have either had the most incredible experience of their life with him or are looking forward to one tonight, if he can squeeze them into his schedule. 

But one scene is enough.  I had to research the actor, to see if he is gay in real life.

His name is Jasper Keen.  He's not much to look at - those long, gaunt "rodent boy" faces are a major turn-off -- but check out those biceps and washboard abs.  

Jasper spent his early childhood Cuyamungua, New Mexico, about 15 miles north of Santa Fe,  helping his parents "fix up properties in the high desert."

In fourth grade he moved with his parents to the Big Island of Hawaii, to live off the grid on a coffee farm, "working the fully off-grid eleven acres of jungle."  (he was home schooled).

He returned for high school enrolled at the  New Mexico School of the Arts.  Before graduating, he was in about 20 plays, from Into the Woods to Little Shop of Horrors.  He received the National Young Arts Award for theater in 2015.

Next Jasper enrolled at the University of North Carolina School of the Arts, where he appeared in the gay-themed Spring Awakening and Cascarones.  He graduated with a BFA in Acting in 2020. 

He also took an Introduction to Shakespeare class in the Orkney Islands, which resulted in roles of Oberon in A Midsummer Night's Dream and Iago in Othello.

His on-screen acting begins in North Carolina, with the shorts Child's Play, Loser, Interstate 80, and Running, which has a gay theme: a man (Jim Boemio) goes for a run and ruminates on lost relationships, including one with Jasper.

Guest spots on tv followed, including episodes of Walker (2021) and Big Sky (2022).

A minor role in How to Blow Up a Pipeline (2022): Some environmental activists, including Lukas Gage, Marcus Scribner, and gay actor Forrest Goodluck, plan to harm a pipeline. 

More after the break

"Roswell, New Mexico": Soap Opera with Bi Characters and Out-and-Proud Aliens

 

Roswell, New Mexico is the site of the famous UFO crash of 1947, which the town has capitalized on ever since.   It was the inspiration of a tv series about teenage aliens, Roswell, and now apparently a series entitled Roswell, New Mexico: "A woman returns to her hometown after 10 years to discover that her high-school crush is an unusual foreigner."  Presumably he's an alien, although the episode synopses sound more soap opera than paranormal: "Rosa confronts Liz over her reputation; Maria digs into her family history; Isabel's outing leads to an unexpected encounter."  

Outing as in out of the closet?  I'm reviewing the outing episode, "Sex and Candy."

Scene 1: Isobel, a ponytail blond, is fighting with Evil Max (Nathan Parsons, top photo), using energy bursts.  She explains:  "You absorbed the toxicity of Rosa's death, and now you need to expell it! Cause an earthquake or something!"  So he punches the floor and causes an earthquake. Eventually Evil Max collapses from excessive energy expenditure, but his brother (Michael Vlamis, left) rushes in and uses his powers to revive him.  The rage gone, Max apologizes.

His Girlfriend rushes in, and is delighted to find the rage gone.  But there's a problem: Max doesn't recognize her!  

Scene 2:  Back at headquarters. Not only are Max's memories of the Girlfriend gone, he objects to a  "stranger" knowing  all their secrets, which distresses everyone.   I'm guessing that Isobel, Max, and his brother are aliens, but the girlfriend is human.  To avoid upsetting him further, Girlfriend leaves.

Scene 3: Twink Alex (Tyler Blackburn, left) meets Maria, an older woman, at a Mexican Market she has organized to draw business to the Pony (a tavern, I assume).  She introduces him to Forrest, who is helping organize an open-mic night.  They flirt over references to Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but when Forrest asks him out, Alex hesitates.  "Maybe I misread," Forrest says, walking away.  "Wait -- you didn't misread."  Two gay guys in Scene 3!  Even if they don't say the Word, that's good news.  I thought Isobel was coming out, but she's dating Max's brother.

Scene 4: A Sarcastic Doctor (Michael Trevino) and a woman in a medical theater, watching the surgical separation of conjoined twins.  She notes that Roswell has a higher than average rate of twin births, and asks "Do you have a crush on me?"  When he says no, she gets angry and storms out. Attractive people with complicated relationships in a hospital -- soap opera!  "Days of Our Lives" with aliens.

Scene 5: the Girlfriend runs into Evil Max from Scene 1 at the Mexican Market, and helps him with his Spanish (he was asking for "carne sin preservativos," which means "meat without condoms").  He asks her out, but she refuses: "You don't really know me." "Right, no one ever goes out on a date with a near-stranger."  So she agrees. (Amnesia is another common soap opera trope.)

Scene 6: Back at headquarters, Isobel and the brother help Evil Max get ready for his date.  

Meanwhile, Twink Alex and Maria from Scene 3 do some sleuthing: when Maria's mother was found after her abduction (soap opera back story), she was wearing distinctive cowboy boots made only by a "weird cobbler" who lives in the desert.  Maybe he keeps records of who he sold them to.  On the way, they discuss past relationships: Twink Alex has never had one.  "What about Kellie?"  "No.  Every time I was with a woman, I was just trying to disappear.  Except when we kissed in high school."  They're the same age?  I thought that Maria was much older, a mother figure.  

Twink Alex doesn't like being gay: "I know what I'm supposed to say, but I don't feel it.  The only time I enjoyed touching someone, was when we kissed."  Um...that means you're straight, dude.

Scene 7: Max arrives at the soda shop where Girlfriend works.  She gives him a Little Green Man milkshake, his favorite since they started dating at age 14, hoping that it will restore his memory.  Nope!  And he doesn't like mint anymore, which upsets her.  "Your tastes have changed since you came back from the dead!"  So order something else.   The date involves riding horses. 

Meanwhile, Twink Alex and Maria are still driving through the desert (as Joel and the Bots would say, will they ever reach the fireworks factory?).  Why didn't she bring Michael along?  "No, I don't like him.  He lied."  "He lied to save your family from my family.  And he spent 10 years in prison for a murder he didn't commit, to protect Isobel."  More standard soap opera tropes. Wait -- I thought Michael, Evil Max's brother, was dating Isobel.  

Scene 8: Yet another character, a woman in heavy makeup, goes into the Planet 7 Bar and flirts with the female bartender.  "I feel like I'm over-dressed."  For a small town in the desert? Always.  "I just got out of jail, and I'm looking for trouble.  The good kind."  She sees Sarcastic Doctor from Scene 4, who groans. Not another woman who has a crush on me!  I have to bat them away!

Scene 9: Still driving through the desert, Twink Alex and Maria get a flat tire.  A scary guy with an axe wants to know why they're trespassing on his property.  Surprise -- he's Travis (David Anders, right), the weird cobbler. I was expecting Gepetto.

Inside the house, they try to call for a tow, but get no bars on their cell phones.  Travis tries to flirt with Maria, and offers them warm milk (weird!).  He remembers the boots -- Maria's mother bought them.  Mystery solved!  

Meanwhile, at the bar, Heavy-Makeup Lady asks Sarcastic Doctor, "Why aren't you at the Pony? Are you avoiding Liz (Max's girlfriend) because Evil Max returned from the dead?" Heavy intertwining of romantic relationships, innit?  He counters with "Why are you here?", and she explains "After Noah, I'm not into a bar full of straight guys on the prowl."  So Planet 7 is a gay bar?

They all start dancing: lots of grizzled cowboy couples.  Who knew there were so many gay people in a small town in the desert?  Sarcastic Doctor invites her to watch the meteor shower, but she refuses: "Meteor showers remind me of the night my entire family burst into flame upon entering Earth's atmosphere." Psych!  She's playing with him!  Are all aliens out and proud?  I thought Evil Max and his gang kept it a secret

I'm fast forwarding through the endless scenes of Evil Max and Girlfriend heart-to- hearting on their date.

Scene 10: At Weird Cobbler's cabin.  Maria goes off in search of cell phone bars, and Twink Alex snoops. When Weird Cobbler catches him, he explains: "Maria's Mom was abducted, and three weeks later she returns, wearing a pair of your weird boots.  Naturally we think you know more than you're letting on."

Weird Cobbler sings "I think we're alone now" and approaches in a threatening manner.  "Drink your milk!"  When Twink Alex refuses, he attacks!  Then he goes outside, tells Maria that Alex is dead, and chases her with an axe.  If they kill off the gay guy in Episode 6, I'm leaving.

She runs into a cornfield, and gets grabbed!  Psych -- by Michael!  (Evil Max's brother, the one she doesn't want to date.) Wait -- it's an hour drive from the city; their car broke down about 10 minutes ago.  He would have to leave shortly after they did.  How did he know to come?  Maybe his alien powers?  But before Michael can rescue her, Weird Cobbler conks him on the head. 

Scene 11: Back at Planet 7, Heavy-Makeup Lady asks Sarcastic Doctor to go into the bathroom with her for a quickie, but he refuses.  He's interested in someone else.  So Heavy-Makeup Lady starts dancing with the female bartender.  

Meanwhile, Weird Cobbler chases Maria through the cornfield.  She ambushes him, conks him with the axe, and runs away.  She grabs Michael; Alex, still alive, comes out of the cabin.  They all run toward the truck, chased by Weird Cobbler. Suddenly another Weird Cobbler emerges from nowhere and shoots...um, his clone?  He explains: hisevil  twin took part in a government research project that fried his brains.  He appeared three weeks ago, and locked the real Weird Cobbler up.  Fortunately, amid all of the axe-chasing, he managed to escape. 

After all the psycho-slasher shenanigans, with her friends and the evil twin in need of emergency medical care, Maria still asks the real Weird Cobbler about her mother!  "I don't remember her.  I get lots of customers.  Could you please call an ambulance?"

Scene 12: Evil Max has his memory back, Sarcastic Doctor actually was interested in the woman he rebuffed back in Scene 4,  Heavy-Makeup Lady smooches with the female bartender.  Michael uses his alien powers to heal Twink Alex's gunshot wound and then smooches with Maria, Twink Alex smooches with Maria, Michael smooches with Twink Alex.  Busy night!

Scene 13: Morning.  Twink Alex reports to Michael that the sheriff didn't find anything: Weird Cobbler and his evil twin had vanished, and their cabin had burned down.  They discuss last night: "If anyone had told me that I would be having a three-way with my best friend and my first love...."   Then Twink Alex leaves.  Michael returns to Maria.  They smooch again.  So, just a one-time thing?  Alex is alone again, naturally.

Meanwhile, Evil Max and Girlfriend smooch, say "I love you," and smooch again.  Six times.

Scene 14: The open-mic night.  I'm getting tired of the drama.  Forrest (Christian Antidormi), who got rebuffed by Twink Alex in Scene 3, is performing.  Twink Alex comes in and grins at him. 

Meanwhile, Max goes home.  Isobel, apparently his sister, presents him with a t-shirt: "I Got Probed at Planet 7."  She was Heavy Makeup woman from last night!   He goes to the bathroom to take a shower, sees weird markings on his back, and flashes back to the alien spaceship when he was a boy.  The end.

Beefcake: A little of Max.  Some of Michael as he undresses for the three way.

Gay Characters: Isobel, Alex, and Michael are all apparently bisexual.  Forrest appears in six episodes, so apparently Alex gets a semi-permanent boyfriend.

Gay/Straight Kisses: 30/2

Soap Opera Tropes: Exhausting.  

Aliens:  Are they in hiding, or not?

My Grade: B.

Addendum:  This was actually Season 2 (Netflix will do that to you).  I reviewed an episode of Season 1 back when it premiered in 2019, and forgot about it (over 300 reviews per year will do that to you).  See: Roswell, New Mexico: At Least the Gay Guys Kiss.

"Roswell, New Mexico": At Least the Gay Guys Kiss

The poster of the new tv series Roswell, New Mexico shows a man and a woman in a heterosexual embrace, and the promo shows four hetero lip-locks!

I'd be noping out of the room, but I heard that there was a gay male relationship, as rare as hen's teeth on tv, so I stuck it out, watching one episode and fast-forwarding through the rest, looking for gay romance.

The story involves three alien children who survived the spaceship crash at Roswell in 1947, were in stasis pods until 1997, and then emerged in the shape of human 7-year olds.  They had various traumatic experiences in high school (2004-2008), revealed in flashback:

1. Max (Nathan Parsons) killed a man who was attacking his sister.  The trio buried the body, and kept the awful secret.

2. Isobel (Lily Cowles) started a romance with Rosa, then for no apparent reason killed her and two other girls.  The trio made it it look like a car accident.

3. Michael (Michael Vlamis) started a romance with Alex (Tyler Blackburn), but Alex's homophobic father Jesse caught them together and attacked.  Jesse was not only homophobic but alienophobic, involved with a top-secret government alien-hunting project.

After high school the trio apparently just sat around for 10 years, waiting for the plot to start up again.

It starts when their high school classmate Liz Ortega (Jeanine Mason), a failed biochemist and Rosa's sister, returns to town.  She learns the truth about the aliens, and starts sniffing around about Rosa's death.

She starts dating Kyle (Michael Trevino), her high school boyfriend, who is investigating aliens on his own.

At that moment, Wyatt (Dylan McTee), whose sister died in the "crash" with Rosa, decides to start killing people, either in revenge or to keep them quiet about a secret of his own.

Oh, you're wondering about the three aliens:

1. Max, now the town deputy sheriff, starts dating his coworker Jenna.

2. Isobel is now "happily married" to Noah (Karam Oberoi), who unbeknownst to her, is also a survivor of the spaceship crash.  He lived for many years in Isobel's body (why she was dating Rosa -- it was all entirely heterosexual!).  Then he took over a male body (top photo).  Nice choice!

3. Michael, now a drifter, reunites with Alex, who discovers the truth and breaks up with him for his own protection.  Not dissuaded, Michael starts a relationship with Maria.  Then Alex returns and wants to be "friends."

Gulp.

 Well, maybe they will end up together in the next season.  If there is one.  The reviewers are panning the series for being derivative, convoluted, and silly, and for skimming over the interesting parallels:
Homophobia and alienophobia.
The government tracking down both spaceship aliens and undocumented aliens.

Beefcake: Not a lot.  Occasionally a guy will rip his shirt off.

Heterosexism:  Between two and four scenes of men and women kissing or having sex with each other per episode.  But at least Michael and Alex get a scene together in most episodes, too.

See also: Roswell, New Mexico: Soap Opera with Bi Characters and Out-and-Proud Aliens