Like Cattle Towards Gloom: The mystery of the glowing cattle solved, sort of. WIth Nicolas Hau tree-trunking, a n*de man in my room, and unrelenting gloom

 

Link to the n*de photos 

I started watching Half-Man (2026), starring Jamie Bell as a sort-of gay guy who has a sort-of homoerotic relationship with his violence-crazy "half brother" (Richard Gadd of Baby Reindeer),  but I had forgotten the intensity of Mr. Gadd's internalized homophobia -- until the depiction of gay desire as unrelentingly dark and destructive began.  So I dropped it. What's so horrible about liking guys?  

Next, in search of light entertainment, I checked the n*de celebrity subreddit: a morose white-haired young man sitting on his bed while tree-trunking.  In another shot, he's manipulating.  

I was fascinated.  What was the context?  How could anyone be morose while doing that?

 The caption said that he was Nicolas Hau, from the French movie  Like Cattle Towards Glow (2015).   You can't move toward "glow."  It would have to be a glowing object. 

A mystery to solve!  Was it a bad translation, or an old folk saying changed to gibberish with the passage of time?

According to his IMDB biography, written by himself,  Nicolas Hau "has collaborated with international directors and continues to develop a diverse body of work across film and artistic projects, with a strong interest in character-driven and visually distinctive storytelling."

This extremely pretentious bio is matched by two acting credits on the IMDB: the glowing cattle movie and The Aspern Papers (2018), based on the novel by Henry James: An American novelist wants to get the letters that Romantic poet Jeffrey Aspern sent to his mistress, but she has them sequestered in her decaying Venetian mansion. 

Jonathan Rhys Meyers (n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) stars. Nicolas plays the bi poet Lord Byron.

It grossed $9,700 in the U.S, and got reviews like "Awful!" "Pretentious drivel!" "Boring!"

Well, it's Henry James.  What do you expect?

Nicolas' resume also lists three theatrical credits:

Bottom in A Midsummer Night's Dream

Benjamin in The Graduate, the part originally played by Dustin Hoffman.

And Einar Wegener in Danish Girl.  In 1920s Copenhagen, Einar develops a female persona named Lili, and with the support of his wife, gradually acknowledges a female gender identity.  Lili was a pioneer in transgender history as the first person to undergo gender reassignment surgery.  In the 2015 movie, she was played by Eddie Redmayne (n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

Nowadays Nicolas is mostly a model.  His credits on Models.com include Vogue, the covers of Stylist and Beauty magazines, walking for Ferderico Curradi and Peuteray, "Bizarre Love Triangle" (behind a paywall), and whatever this is.

The samples he uploads to his Instagram mostly show him looking bored and pretentious while hugging a semi-n*de lady.  This is one of the few where he's alone, putting on a Gaucho outfit for a shoot.

The glowing cattle and the tree-trunking photo that sent me down this internet rabbit hole after the break

Bob Paris: The World's First Out Gay Bodybuilder

 I started working for Joe Weider's Muscle and Fitness in  July 1985.   Bob Paris was on the cover.

We had a lot in common: he was one year older than me, grew up in Columbus, Indiana (near where my parents live today), attended Indiana University, and escaped to the gay haven of West Hollywood.  Originally he intended to become an actor, but he soon found his way into the world of competitive bodybuilding.

He won many competitions, including Mr. Southern California in 1981, and both Mr. America and Mr. Universe in 1983.

I met him sometime in 1986 -- we never dated, but I learned that he was gay.

He came out publicly in July 1989, in an interview in Iron Man, by mentioning his lover, fellow bodybuilder (and Playgirl model) Rod Jackson, whom he had just married in a Unitarian service.

No professional bodybuilder had ever come out before.  Actually, no professional athlete in any sport had ever come out during his career.

His friends advised him to stay closeted, but he was optimistic that, with all of the gay people working in bodybuilding and all of the gay fans, there would be no problem.

But there were lots of problems. His career didn't exactly end -- he continued to compete through 1991 -- but he lost a huge amount of business, including advertising tie-ins, and extensive homophobic harassment, including death threats.

But many fellow bodybuilders and fans applauded Bob's decision to come out.  Even the rather homophobic Joe Weider put him on the cover of Muscle and Fitness three times in 1990 -- the "Sexual Response" tag near Bob's crotch wasn't an accident.

In 1991 Bob and Rod retired from bodybuilding to concentrate on being the most famous gay couple in the world.  Eventually the stress of having to be perfect all the time put a strain on their relationship, and they broke up.

Rod has been busily acting, writing, and advocating for gay rights, especially gay marriage.   He has published several books on fitness, plus fiction, poetry, and two autobiographies: Straight from the Heart: A Love Story (with Rod) and Gorilla Suit: My Adventures in Bodybuilding.

He has appeared frequently in theatrical productions in Los Angeles and elsewhere, including the Broadway musical Jubilee.

Today Bob lives on an island near Vancouver, British Columbia, with his second spouse, Brian LeFurgey.

He continues to act, write, and inspire a new generation of bodybuilders.

See also: Joe Weider: My Bodybuilder Boss

"Muscle & Fitness": Searching for the Kelvin cover, with Weatherford butt and Lesnar dick

My Date with Michael J. Fox. Plus Marcus and the Scary Bulgarian Bodybuilder.

The top ten buffed big brothers of nuclear family sitcoms, from Tony Dow to Dakota Lotus

 Nuclear family sitcoms often juxtapose shy, weird, un-athletic, intellectual, or otherwise outsider boys and their popular, athletic, muscular, and often dimwitted older brothers.  Sometimes Big Brother is deliberately cast with a bicep boy, but more often it happens organically, as little brother hits the books and big brother hits the gym.  Here are the top ten biggest, baddest, most buffed Big Brothers.

1. Wally (Tony Dow)  on Leave It to Beaver (1957-63).

2. Reese (Justin Berfield) on Malcolm in the Middle (2000-2006). Malcolm is a beset-upon genius with two older and a younger brother. Reese turned into a veritable bodybuilder with a strong gay subtext before the showrunners got scared and turned him straight.

 

3. Drew (Tequan Richmond)  on Everybody Hates Chris (2005-2009). While Chris was bad at everything and got into trouble constantly, his bigger, taller younger brothre Drew was a golden boy.  He was so beautiful that everyone, not just teenagers, dissolved into a slurry of hormones when he smiled at them.  Women only, I think: this show was extremely skittish about the g-word.

4. Axl Heck (Charlie McDermott) on The Middle (2009-2018) hung around the house in his underwear all the time.  This was supposed to be a weird quirk, not a turn-on.  They didn't know the audience very well, did they? I don't remember if he liked girls or not; I was too busy looking at his "happy trail" to pay attention to the plots. (Except for the one where the sister's friend wants to come out, but doesn't get to say the g-word.)

5. On The Goldbergs (2013-2023),  Barry (Troy Gentile), wrestler and all-around hunk, was paired with the shy intellectual boy in a gay-free 1980s.

More after the break

"A hot groin and a tricep": N*de photos of Peter Hinwood, the original Rocky Horror. With Ian McShane, Staz Nair, and Chord Overstreet

  

Link to the n*de photos

A deltoid and a bicep
A hot groin and a tricep 
Makes me --- shake.
Makes me want to take Charles Atlas by the...hand

Every gay man of a certain age had a coming out or "I'm not alone in the world" moment while watching  The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975), a science fiction-horror pastiche with the "sweet transvestite" alien mad scientist Dr. Frank-n-Furter  unwrapping his creation, muscleman Rocky (technically named Rocky Horror).

Give yourself over to absolute pleasure

Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh

Gay men of a certain age have seen Peter Hinwood and his "hot groin" many, many times, in the midnight shows, on VHS, DVD, Blu-Ray, and streaming on Netflix every Halloween.  But you may not know that there are n*de photos of the muscle god out there.

Born in Bromley, about 10 miles south of London, in 1946, Peter Hinwood began his career as a photographer's assistant, but soon began modeling for English Boy Ltd.  By 1970 he was at the top of the industry, driving fancy cars, going on expensive vacations to Tangier, and hanging out with celebrities like director Derek Jarman and Mick Jagger of The Rolling Stones.

Not just fashion -- he also appeared in the physique magazines of the closeted gay subculture of the era.  He made the cover of Man's World in March 1967.

Peter began his acting career as a muscleman, naturally, playing the God Hermes in an Italian adaption of The Odyssey (1968)

Next he played Guy in Tam Lin, an adaption of the old Scottish folksong (1970).  Also appearing were British stalwarts Ian McShane (Charlie in If It's Tuesday, This Must Be Belgium) and Joanna Lumley (Patsy in Absolutely Fabulous), and the director was Tab Hunter's boyfriend Roddy McDowall.

In the original Rocky Horror Show performed in London (1973) and Los Angeles (1974), Rocky was played by svelte, feminine, androgynous men, but for the 1975 movie director Jim Sharman wanted a muscle god, massive and inarticulate, speaking only in grunts (his singing voice provided by Trevor White).  Peter was cast after showing his...um...porfolio.

Patsy: He wanted to show me his portfolio.

Edina: How was it?

Patsy: Fantastic!

The result: 50 years of ab-so-lute pleasure.  And more to come.

I am just seven hours old

Truly beautiful to behold

But somebody should be told

My libido hasn't been controlled

Now the only thing I've come to trust

Is an orgasmic rush of l*st

Rose tints my world

Keeps me safe from my trouble and pain

After Rocky Horror, Peter had a small part in Sebastiane (1976), Derek Jarman's gay adaption of the St. Sebastian mythos, with Leonardo Treviglio as the Christian seduced by and then martyred by the Emperor Diocletian.

Then he left acting, and, valuing his privacy, refused to participate in Rocky Horror events.  Also, he admittedly can't act, and "cringes" whenever he sees himself on film. He became an antiques dealer, along with his "partner in life and business" Christopher Gibbs.  They divided their time between London and Tangier.

More after the break.