The Hogan Family: Which heartthob was your favorite, Jason, Jeremy, or Danny?

During the 1980s, the buzzword was "family values," which meant that only people who had heterosexual nuclear families had value. We heard again and again that the only life worth living involved husbands and wives raising horny teenager and wisecracking preteens.  That's why Married...with Children was such a big hit, immersed in a pool of Family Ties, Family Matters, Growing Pains, The Wonder Years, and The Cosby Show.  

But there was a glimmer of inclusivity in The Hogan Family (1986-91), which began as Valerie, a star vehicle for Mary Tyler Moore Show second banana Valerie Harper  She played the matriarch of a nuclear family consisting of airline pilot husband Michael Hogan (Josh Taylor, left), horny teenager David (17-year old Jason Bateman, previously of It's Your Move and Silver Spoons), and wisecracking twins who looked nothing alike Mark (15-year old Jeremy Licht) and Willie (15-year old Danny Ponce).

After a season and a half, Harper left in the midst of a salary dispute -- and proved not indispensible.  Her character was killed, Aunt Sandy (Sandy Duncan) moved in, and the renamed series got top ratings for another three years.

As is common in nuclear family sitcoms, the kids soon took over.  The twins usually had episodes involving cheating, bullies, staying out past curfew, friends (notably Andre Gower), and the "discovery of girls."  By the last season, they were as heterosexually active as David.

Jeremy Licht had soft, androgynous features, and became the darling of the teen magazines.

More after the break

It's Your Move

Before Married with Children demolished the myth of the euphoric nuclear family, It's Your Move (1984-85) did the same for the teencom.  Matt Burton (Jason Bateman, who would go on to star on The Hogan Family) seems to be a perfect teenage boy, but he's actually an unscrupulous, amoral operator, running a variety of scams and illegal businesses with the assistance of his best friend Eli (Adam Sadowski).  His only soft spot is for his mother, Eileen (Caren Kaye), so some of his schemes involve doing things for her, like getting her a raise at work.

Then struggling writer Norman Lamb (David Garrison, who would go on to star on Married...with Children) moves into the apartment across the hall and starts dating Matt's mom.  It turns out that there is also an unscrupulous, amoral operator lurking under his "nice guy" facade.  But not to worry, he has only honorable intentions.

Matt and Norman begin a battle of wits, cons, and blackmail, as each tries to gain power and demonstrate the other's true nature to an oblivious Eileen.

It was a welcome surcease from the TGIF sitcom jungle. Plus beefcake (David Garrison in extremely tight jeans), gay symbolism (hiding a secret life), and a decided lack of girl-craziness in Matt. Though his relationship with Eli didn't quite make the intensity of a homoromance.

The producers had high hopes for It's Your Move.  A tie-in novel was authorized, and up-and-coming star River Phoenix had a guest shot in the pilot.

Teen magazines began nonstop gushing over freckle-faced Jason Bateman..

Unfortunately, the network shoved the series into a Wednesday night timeslot opposite the blockbuster Dynasty, with the sixth season of The Facts of Life as a lead-in.  I watched, but apparently nobody else did.  Only 18 episodes aired.  You can see them on youtube.

Danny Ponce after Hogan

Danny Ponce was arguably the heartthrob of The Hogan Family (1986-1991), surpassing Jason Bateman in the number of first gay crushes he elicited, and in the number of teen magazine shots featuring glimpses of his increasingly muscular physique.

But he was a busy child star before Hogan, with roles on Happy Days, Family Ties, Hunter, and Hotel, as well as a 3-year stint as Jason Avery on Knots Landing (1983-86).

Since Hogan, he's remained close friends with his tv brother Jeremy Licht.  They were best men at each other's weddings.

He's muscled up.

He now goes by Dan Ponce, although that means that the Internet Movie Database mistakes him for the Dan Ponce who founded the "Straight, No Chaser" a capella group and now works for WGN in Chicago (no relation).

Although Dan isn't a superstar anymore, he's had some substantial movie roles.  Man of the Year (2002)  was particularly memorable, the story of a "Man of the Year" celebration for business ex Bill (John Ritter) with the dialogue entirely improv.

And he occasionally returns to his comedy roots on tv:

On the "My Urologist" episode of Scrubs as a member of the Greasers musical group who points out that Elliott is "square."

On the "Hundred Dollar Baby" episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, as a guy who gets beat up by Charlie and Dee.