David Faustino: Bud from "Married..with Children" is star-ving, humiliated, nekkid, and a gay ally

  

Link to the nekkid Bud Bundy

Everybody in West Hollywood watched Married..with Children (1987-1997) for its savage skewering of the heterosexist trajectory of job, house, wife, kids.  Al Bundy (Ed O'Neill, later patriarch Jay of Modern Family) is working at a soul-destroying minimum-wage job and, although he likes women in general, hates having s*x with Peg (Katie Sagal, later Leela on Futurama), a housewife who never cooks or cleans (although the house is always spotless).  His daughter Kelly (Christina Applegate) is constantly lambasted for being a "slut," and his son Bud (David Faustino), for being a "virgin."

Gay people only appeared in one or two episodes, always with a "har-har, they're gay!  Isn't that ridiculous!" comedic edge.  

But at least they weren't sleazoid serial killers.

When David began to bulk up, the writers obliged by making him extremely attractive, but still unable to acquire girls due to his abrasive personality.

After Married, David played a gay character in Get Your Stuff (2000), about a gay couple wanting to adopt a baby as a fashion accessory, and instead getting preteen brothers.  According to the trailer, there are a lot of jokes about the dads accidentally getting n*ked and the boys trying to get with a hot older woman.

In Killer Bud (2001): two down-and-out buds (David, Corin Nemec) try to burglarize a convenience store.  My first Faustino profile said that he played a gay character, but I can't see it in the synopsis.

Inn Ten Attitudes (2001), he played "himself," not gay but on the gay dating circuit (for a sleazy reason).

In 2008 he was cast as the lead in The Gay Robot, a pilot for a tv series about...um, a gay robot.  The project was never filmed, but the script might have been tweaked into the movie Robodoc (2009)

David hasn't played any specifically-identified gay characters since, but he often introduces gay subtexts deliberately into his work.

A lot of his movies feature stoner buddies, often David and Corin Nemec: Pucked, High Hopes, Puff Puff Pass, The Hustle, Not another B Movie.

In his web series Star-Ving (2009), he plays"himself" as a has-been, starving actor whose only source of income is a sleazy video shop.  There are cameos from various actors with a sleazy reputation, including Seth Green, Coolio, Ron Jeremy, and Kato Kaelin. 

There is a again a deliberate gay subtext in his relationship with Nemec, and a lot of backside shots, mostly an attempt to humiliate David or demonstrate how "ugly" he is. 

Here he wakes up after a night of debauchery with Ron Jeremy and some ladies.

More after the break

"Weird City": Dylan O'Brien and Ed O'Neill Fall in Love

 

Weird City is a streaming series on Youtube (yes, Youtube has its own series now) about a future dystopian city divided by a great wall into the Haves who live Above the Line and the Have Nots who live Below (they thought the audience was too stupid to understand bourgeoisie and proletariat).  I've only seen one episode -- you have to pay for the rest -- but  it isn't exactly Cloud Cuckooland on one side and a post-Apocalyptic nightmare on the other.  Turns out that the real dystopia is Above the Line, where the Haves' every move is controlled by Influencers and Big Brother.  Below the Line is a perfectly pleasant working-class neighborhood, where people care about each other and have values.

Episode 1 drew me in with this photo, of Dylan O'Brien and Ed O'Neill in bed.

Scene 1: Stu (Dylan O'Brien) rushes into the restaurant You Must Eat Here (all Haves must eat there by the end of the month).  Two extremely effeminate guys, doubtless a gay couple, are at the bar, being served Belgian Long Grain Wheat Quintuple IPA and a Pumpkin Saffron Super Double Triple IPA.  Stu joins them and orders a plain old ordinary beer.  He explains that he grew up Below, but his Mom invented an app that removes apps from your brain, so they became rich and moved Above.

Which is a problem: when you're born Above, you're assigned a life mate at birth based on the needs of the community (you can hook up with other people until you actually get married).  But the poor slobs who grow up Below, and those who for some reason dislike their assigned life mate, must rely on the hit or miss "dating" scene.  

A new guy approaches to introduce the One That's the One App, which finds you a compatible life partner.  Stu decides to give it a try.

Scene 2: Stu goes to the lab, watches a commercial, gets his brain probed and DNA extracted, and answers some questions: "What is your favorite number?  What is your favorite food?"  How about asking his sexual orientation, or is everyone pansexual here?  Or assumed heterosexual?

Scene 3: Stu's life mate arrives.  Whoops, it's an old guy, Burt.  Ed O'Neill is 46 years older than Dylan O'Brien, which most people would consider a rather big age gap.  I'm 26 years older than Bob, and people keep mistaking us for father and son. 

Plus they were both expecting girls.  Burt: "I apologize for asking you this, but are you a homosexual?"  Stu: "WHAT???? Of course not!!!!" Ok, I get it.  The scientist didn't ask about Stu's sexual orientation because this is a homophobic society where gay people are shameful, or assumed not to exist.  They've even gone back to the retro homophobic term "homosexual."

Obviously there's been a mixup -- someone recorded the wrong gender.  Not to worry, they'll get their money back.

They start talking -- they're from the same neighborhood Below.  They go down to eat at Al's Diner.  Same favorite foods, same favorite movies, almost a goodbye hug.

Scene 4:  Stu goes back to the company to tell them about the mistake.  Surprise -- Burt is there, too.  They try to talk to Dr. Negari (Levar Burton), but he runs away. "So, want to get lunch?"

Scene 5:  They skipped lunch and had sex instead! (Burt has a surprisingly nice physique for a 75 year old.).  "Had no idea that would happen -- well, maybe some idea."

Montage of the two talking, laughing, walking through the park, cuddling in bed, being playful with ice cream cones.

Scene 6: Stu brings Burt to meet his parents, who are completely nonchalant about him being 40 years older: "I was nervous that you'd be upset about Burt's age." "Are you kidding?  He's great!"  He was nervous about the age, not about Burt being a guy?  I thought being gay was shameful in this world.  Why is everyone so nonchalant about it?  I'm confused.

Scene 7: Burt brings Stu to meet his adult children. The daughter is happy, but son Booj yells "You're not my Mom!" and runs off to play in the back yard. This guy is an adult -- played by 38-year old Chris Witaske  -- why is he acting like a little boy?  Stu buddies up to him. 

This is actually Charlie Hunnan, but he popped up when I searched for Chris Witaske, so close enough. 

Scene 8: Six Months Later.  Stu and Burt, now married, are hanging the Christmas..um... display.  So same-sex marriage is legal in this world?  The guy from Negari Labs appears to tell them there was a mistake: Stu was supposed to be matched with a young woman, and Burt, with an elderly man who lives in a far-off resort town.  They are legally required to separate and hook up with their assigned partners.  Burt's pod leaves next Thursday.

That makes no sense.  This was a match from a private company, so city laws about life partners wouldn't apply.    They were both born Below, so they don't get an official life partner assignment.  And even those people who get one are allowed to change.

Scene 9: Separated, Stu meets his assigned life partner.  Montage of him hating everything about her.  He gets up and rushes to the airport...um, pod-port...to grab Burt before he boards his pod.  They hug and kiss.  

Scene 10: They have moved Below, where the law doesn't apply, so they can stay married.  

I'm still confused.  The story only works if everyone is pansexual, with maybe some sexual preferences, so you are not surprised at getting a male or female match -- it's just not what you ordered.  But two guys are utterly shocked.  Add to that the muddling of societal law and dating app matches, and Stu interacting with the obviously adult Booj as if he were a little kid. Is this a touching love story, or a parody of a love story?  

F is for Family: Gay Characters and Beefcake circa 1974

Comedian Bill Burr specializes in "the absurdity of political correctness," which usually means "the absurdity of not telling homophobic jokes," but I don't find his bits at all homophobic.  Gross maybe, but not homophobic:

When two dudes get married, how will their arguments differ from a man and a woman?  No punching the wall just above their heads.  You go for the liver shot.

His animated F is For Family is likewise utterly lacking in homophobia.  Instead, it reminds me of Married...with Children.  15 years ago, as a recent high school graduate, Frank (Bill Burr) found his dreams shattered when his girlfriend became pregnant.

Now it's 1974, he's lost hair and gained some pounds, and he hates his life: a dumpy house in a working-class Catholic neighborhood, a horrible job as a baggage handler at an airline, a nagging wife, three crazy kids.  He watches sports, drinks beer, and says "f..." a lot.

Through two seasons, each member of the family survives individual catastrophes.

1. Frank is promoted to manager, then fired on Christmas  Day.  He deals with the "humiliation" of his wife going to work, schemes to get his job back by sabotaging a coworker, changes his mind, and gets embroiled in a hostage crisis.

2. Sue (Laura Dern) gets a job selling Plasta-ware, and invents a salad-spinner.  But the company president takes credit for it.

3. Surly 15-year old Kevin (Justin Long) dreams of rock stardom, and gets his big break when his record producer neighbor, Vic(Sam Rockell), hires him for a birthday-party gig.  But things fall apart when Kevin has sex with Vic's girlfriend (and Vic, incidentally, is fired.  The girlfriend doesn't have any consequences).

4. Wimpy 11-year old Bill (Haley Reinhart) deals with the psychotic bully Jimmy.  After a stint at military school fails to reform him, Bill and his friends try the ultimate prank, which backfires and sends Jimmy to the hospital.

5. Sarcastic 8-year old Maureen wants to join the Computer Club at school, but Frank forbids it because computers are for boys.  She suffers an eye injury in a sledding accident.

As a child of the 1970s, I enjoy the 1970s references, especially the parody versions of some of the horrible commercials and tv shows of the era.

There is a surprising amount of beefcake for an animated program, with several characters who like to display their biceps and baskets.

And a surprising lack of homophobia.  Even the bullies don't seem particularly homophobic.  "F" never stands for "fag."

There are several gay-subtext characters, probably intentionally.  Kevin has two friends, Bolo and Lex, who constantly make jokes about their attraction to men:

Discussing a cute girl: "I'd give a thousand guys hand jobs just to see her boob."

Neighbor Babe Bonfiglio is obviously into Vic.  His son, Philip, is obviously in love with Bill, and doesn't blanch at being called his "girlfriend."

Plus two "secretly gay" characters, which makes sense, given that this is the homophobic 1970s, only five years after Stonewall.

Louis Gagliardi, the head of Frank's union, is sleeping with his chauffeur.

Greg Throater (pun intended), who dresses and acts like a Castro Clone, constantly makes jokes implying that he likes sex with men.  Eventually he realizes that he actually is gay.  He tries to come out to his wife several times, but she won't believe him.  Which also makes sense, given that this is the 1970s.

F is for Family has been renewed for a third season, which airs November 30th, 2018.