Jun 17, 2017

Orange is the New Black Season 5 Beefcake and Nudity

The fifth season of Orange is the New Black (2017) occurs during a riot at Litchfield Prison in the aftermath of Poussey's death.

1. C.O. Humphrey (Michael Torpey), who has been brutally victimizing the inmates, is shot in the thigh.  We get a close up of his penis as Sophia tries to save his life, then some shirtless shots later, when he's in the infirmary.

2. The other guards are captured, forced to strip, and "searched" in front of the inmates. They stay in their underwear through the remainder of the season.

3.  The guy in the left, in the purple underwear, is not one of the guards.  He's Josh (John Palladino), a public relations guy for the prison company, who was trapped during the riot.

4. The captured guards are forced to perform in "Litchfield Idol."  CO Stratman (Evan Hall) performs a strip number, ending up naked except for a sock over his penis.

5. Meanwhile, in Piscatella's back story, his inmate boyfriend Driscoll (Charlie Barnett) is brutally beaten by the other inmates.  Rear nudity.

Charlie Barnett has played gay characters before.  You can see him having sex on Tales of West Hollywood.

6. Piscatella gets revenge by tying the instigator, Rosado (Marcos Palma),  to the showers, turning on the hot water, and letting him get scalded to death.  Rear nudity.

If the situation detracts from your appreciation of the beefcake, just remember that these guys aren't really being humiliated, assaulted, and tortured.  They're acting.

The penis and other nude shots are on Tales of West Hollywood

Jun 16, 2017

10 Shirtless Pictures of Jacob Sartorius, Sort Of

Asa Butterfield was fun, so let's try another.  I did a google search on Jacob Sartorius -- no idea who he is, or what he looks like, or why he's named after a leg muscle.

 Here are the results.  Which are really him, and which are Google going haywire?

1. Looks like a selfie.  In the tub, but wearing clothes.

2. Another tub pic, but bigger hair.

3.  Even bigger hair, and a tan.

4. Two for the price of one.

5. A little muscle.  Didn't this guy play a werewolf?

6. Yes, kid, you  have fine biceps, plus a devilish frown.

7. Looks like Zac Efron, who pops up in every search.

8. Jacob the weight lifter.

9. A trio of weird hair.

10. That's one big emoji.

Jun 15, 2017

12 Shirtless Pictures of Asa Butterfield, Sort Of

Ok, people keep telling me that #6 on the list of "Pre-Teen Teen Idols" is not Asa Butterfield.

I've never heard of that person, and never seen him before, that I know of.  It's hard to distinguish between people that you don't know, particularly when they're actors who keep changing their look. .

My only clues are that he's in his early 20s and has blue eyes.

So I just googled "Asa Butterfield shirtless," in quotation marks, and downloaded whatever came up.  If you know who he is, you can figure out which are really of him.  Otherwise, you can enjoy this group of photos of hunky guys.

1. Beach scene.  He might have blue eyes -- hard to tell.

2. Wearing glasses, and talking to monkeys.

3.  Looks like brown eyes, but maybe he's wearing contact lenses.

4. The guy in the middle is Moises Arias.  Maybe Asa is on the right or left.

5. Eyes can't get much bluer than this.

6. Crew cut.

7.  Those eyes are brown.

8. Looks like a homoerotic scene in whatever movie this was.

9. That's got to be Daniel Radcliffe.

10. Nice loincloth.

11.  This guy looks South Asian.

12. Asa Snowbird

See also: Pre-Teen Teen Idols

Bill Bixby: My Favorite Martian

Bill Bixby played swinging 1960s bachelors with glamorous jobs, cool pads, boss threads, and a never-ending supply of babes -- until one day something happened that changed everything, made his heteronormative hedonism seem trite and crude.

In My Favorite Martian (1963-66), his Tim O'Hara rescued a Martian scientist from a crashed spaceship, and had to keep him hidden from the world.  But what started out as a standard "keep your unique talent hidden" sitcom like I Dream of Jeannie and Bewitched quickly developed into something more.  Tim and his so-called "Uncle Martin" share a home and a life and generally ignore the attentions of female suitors.  And though they rarely if ever disrobe on camera, they surround themselves with cute and muscular men:

In The Courtship of Eddie's Father (1969-72), his Tom Corbett is widowed, left with a young son (Brandon Cruz), like the Dads on a dozen other 1960s sitcoms.  But what started out as a standard "fix up Dad with a girl" plot quickly developed into something more.  Tom isn't really interested in marrying again.  Instead, he bonds with a coworker, magazine photographer Norman (James Komack).

 In an iconic photo, the three share the same  banana split, quite an unconventional family for the 1970s:

Bill went on to buddy-bond with Lou Ferrigno off-camera, while they were both starring in The Incredible Hulk.

Jun 14, 2017

The 10 Best Gay Neighborhoods in America

During the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s, the first thing you did after "figuring it out" was pack all of your stuff and move to a gay neighborhood, where you could be free from stares and jeers and shrieks of "God hates you!"

Once you arrived, you never left, except when absolutely necessary, for work or required Christmas visits "back home."   You wouldn't accept a date with anyone who lived outside, in the Straight World.  On vacation, you visited other gay neighborhoods.

Many gay kids today don't grow up dreaming of a safe haven.  Being gay is no big deal at school.  Their families and straight friends are perfectly accepting.  Why not stay where you are?

But the gay neighborhoods are still there, waiting for those of us who grew up in homophobic small towns, who are tired of the incessant heterosexism of the Straight World, or who want to see what it was like to have a home.

I've lived in four gay neighborhoods in the U.S. and Canada,  and visited about a dozen others.  Here are the biggest and best:

The Bravest:
The Montrose, Houston (top photo).
Today Houston has gay rights ordinances and a gay mayor, but when I lived in Texas in 1984, there were sodomy laws and rednecks with shotguns, and police cadets were warned about the "homosexual deviants" lurking at the corner of Montrose and Westheimer.  Just walking down the street was perilous.  In spite of the dangers, gay people carved out a newspaper, a bookstore, political action groups, and lots of fun cowboy bars.

The Most Political:
Dupont Circle, Washington, DC. 
A bit cramped, hard to find parking, but an architectural gem, and only a mile from the White House.

Who would expect a thriving Community Center a stone's throw from government homophobes?  Dupont Circle is home to over 50 gay organizations, everything from the Human Rights Campaign to the LGBT Fallen Heroes Fund.

The Most Literary:
Washington Square West, Philadelphia
Philadelphia has some of the world's best gay clubs and restaurants, and it's the site of the first Gay Rights demonstration in history. But its biggest claim to fame is Giovanni's Room, the second oldest and largest gay bookstore in the world, founded back in 1972, when there were almost no gay-positive books in existence, and certainly none available in mainstream bookstores.

It closed recently, bankrupted by online giants, and re-opened as a thrift store with proceeds going to AIDS services.

The Friendliest:
Wilton Manors, Fort Lauderdale.  
This was home for 4 years.  There were great beaches, gyms, clubs, and restaurants, but what I remember most was the great sense of camaraderie.

Maybe it was because many residents were older, and had lived through the horrors of the pre-Stonewall police state.

Maybe it was because, once you left Wilton Manors, you ran into some of the most horrifying Bible-thumping redneck cities in the country.

But in Wilton Manors, everyone was welcome; everyone knew your name.

The Brawniest:
Hawthorne, Portland (Oregon).  
I thought Texas had the biggest of everything, but when I visited Portland in 1995, I found a bookstore that covered an entire city block, a bath house with room for 3000 patrons, and a bar crowded with the biggest, most buffed men this side of Muscle Beach.

More after the break.

Jun 13, 2017

Pre-Teen Teen Idols

When I was a kid, teen idols were young adults.

David Cassidy released his first single when he was 20 years old.

John Travolta first played Vinnie Barbarino in Welcome Back, Kotter at age 21.

Child labor regulations make it difficult to work with juveniles under the age of 18, and besides, if you want a performer to appeal to adults as well as kids, it helps if they're not jail bait.

But they're getting younger and younger.  According to Teen Idols 4 You, the top 20 idols today are:

1. Jacob Sartorius (left), social media singer, age 14

2. Jace Norman of Henry Danger, age 17.  And he's been in the show for three years.

3. Johnny Orlando, musician, age 14

4. Mace Coronel of the Nickelodeon teencom Nicky, Ricky, Dicky, and Dawn, age 13

5. Matty B, singer, age 14.

6. Asa Butterfield (left), movie actor, age 20.  First became a teen idol in 2008, when he was nine.  There are more shirtless pictures of Asa Butterfield, or someone like him, here.

7. Asher Angel (left) of Andi Mack, age 14.

8.Hunter Payton, age not given, but probably around 10.

I blame the fragmentation of mass media, with programming only for kids, tweens, and teens, so the actors and musicians don't have to worry about appealing to an adult audience.

9. Aiden Gallagher (left) of Nicky, Ricky, Dicky, and Dawn, age 13

10. Justin Bieber, age 23.  Rather long-in-the-tooth, as modern teen idols go.

And social media, which allows performers to become famous without "paying their dues" through years of low-paying jobs.  Instead, they burst onto the scene with one or two songs or some youtube clips.

More after the break.

Jun 12, 2017

Andi Mack: Genderqueer Teen and Her Gay-Vague Posse

You know right away from the intro to the Disney Channel teencom Andi Mack (2017-) that this will be an unusual experience.   Characters created out of jigsaw puzzles and pieces of paper, close-ups half off-camera, moving around so quickly that it's hard to zero in on them, as if we are never seeing their whole truth.  And among the trinkets we see that characterize Andi's life: a gay-pride rainbow bracelet, a pink triangle.....

For the last ten years or so, nearly every Disney Channel teencom has been about a girl who wants to become a singer, but short-haired, androgynous Andi Mack (Peyton Elizabeth Lee) doesn't have that goal: she just wants some answers!

On her thirteenth birthday, her big sister Bex (Lilan Bowden) announces that she is moving back home.  AND that she's actually Andi's mother!  The people Andi has been calling Mom and Dad, Celia (Lauren Tom) and Ham (Stoney Westmoreland), are actually her grandparents.

Most girls who have babies in high school depend on the grandparents for help with everything from childcare to finances, but pretending that the grandparents are the parents sounds like a very poor decision.  But it makes for lots of interesting conflicts.

Celia and Ham (left) are not very happy about Bex pushing her way into the role of mother, being demoted to grandparents after 13 years.  They start competing over who can be the best parent.

And they retaliate by calling up the father, rock star Bowie (Trent Garrett, above), who apparently was never told that his ex-girlfriend had a daughter.  (Wait -- doesn't he have a legal right to visitation, and a legal obligation to provide child support?)  He shows up, eager to start fathering Andi.

The fluid family dynamic, so different from the usual teencom Mom, Dad, and Kids, strikes me as a reflection of the various ways that queer people make their own families.

Other than her crazy family, Andi has two best friends, Cyrus (Joshua Rush) and Buffy (Sofia Wylie), a crush, Jonah (Asher Angel), and a sports team, the frisbee-playing Space Otters, represented by Marty (Garren Stilt)

But there's a lot of to watch even in that standard group:  Cyrus, who has a big, blatant crush of his own on Jonah.

 It's so obvious that it almost looks intentional -- according to rumor, Cyrus is going to be outed as gay in a future episode, which would make him the first overt gay teen character in the Disney universe.

Maybe he and Andi will openly compete for Jonah's affection, thus straining their relationship.

I doubt it.  Disney has done a few "my gay moms sort of walk-ons," but continues to promote the myth that there are no gay children or adolescents -- gayness is something that happens to you in adulthood after a hetero-horny childhood.  So if there's a gay character, it will probably be Bex.

The only thing missing is beefcake.  The kids are too young to be teen idols (left: Garren Stitt), and the adult men haven't yet fumbled with a button.

But there's always next episode.

Jun 11, 2017

Wlastimil Hofman: Gay Polish Artist

Wlastimil Hofman (1881-1970), was born in Prague but spent all of his life in Krakow,  except for studying in Paris and the period 1942-1945, when he fled both the Nazis and the Soviets and ended up in Tel Aviv.

He was one of the most famous painters in Poland, specializing in religious topics such as "The Way of the Rosary" and "The Way of the Cross," but in his youth he was heavily influenced by the symbolist movement.

The street he lived on has been renamed Hofman Street in his honor.

Although he was married to a woman throughout his life, he has a considerable gay connection.  For one thing, he changed his name from the Czech Vlastimil to the Polish Wlastimil due to his friendship with painter Jacek Malczewski (1854-1919).

In 1914, he met Jiri Karasek ze Lvovich (1871-1951), a Czech literary critic, occultist, and author of several gay-themed novels, such as Sodoma (1895) and A Gothic Soul (1900), as well as collection of homoerotic poetry.  Hofman began painting homoerotic scenes, which were displayed privately among Karasek's friends.  They display naked young men, humans, mythological figures, and gods, wandering an eerie desolate landscape of archetypes and dreams.

The Return (1918) shows a man or angel taking off his human costume and releasing the horse that brought him to this world,w hile two satyrs watch.

I'm not sure about the age of the male figure, so I censored his sex organs.

Lost Happiness (1919) shows two satyrs leading an angel away toward a world of Dionysian pleasures of the flesh, his celestial joy dying.

Bird's Funeral (1918), an allegory with a human boy and a satyr, again shows celestial joys dimming and dying in the face of carnality.

Poetry and Nature (1923) shows three mythological beings fascinated by the sight of a mother dog and her puppies. Nature, birth and death, reproduction, is alien to their world.

Untitled (1926).   Boys and gods are burying something or someone.  Death must come even in Arcadia.

I wonder what death Hofman was mourning in these paintings, what dark desolation was drawing him away from his celestial thoughts?  Was same-sex desire so disturbing for him?  And, if so, why did he continue to paint homoerotic images for his friend Karasek's salons?


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