Kyle Bornheimer: Bear Bares It All

Kyle Bornheimer has been in the business for less than 10 years, but he is already getting a reputation for failed sitcoms: Worst Week, Perfect Couples, Romantically Challenged, and most recently Family Tools.  In all of them, he plays the same kind of character, a likeable nebbish who is clueless about matters of hetero-romance.  

I suggest some of his non-heterosexist comedy shorts instead, such as Gym Day, about a man who goes through endless hassles to get to the gym, only to find it closed, or God Reschedules Rapture, about...well, God being too busy to hold the Rapture as scheduled.  Some appear on the Funny or Die website.

Kyle has also played  likeable nebbish characters who are clueless about matters of gay romance:

In Spokane (2004): a straight guy falls for a gay guy at a wedding, resulting in a naked hotel room encounter.  You can see it on the collection Boys Life 7 (2010).

In a 2006 episode of the shortlived Lovespring International, about a dating service,  he played a clueless gay nebbish looking for a date.

He also "hints" about same-sex desire, as on Perfect Couples (2010-2011), when Dave (Kyle) makes a gay friend, and his wife is jealous.

Bachelorette (2012) is a raunchy comedy about four women preparing for their friend's wedding.  A gay guy does a striptease for them.

Or most recently, on Family Tools (2013), his character has a requisite crush on a girl, but also cozies up to his assistant, Darren (Edi Gathegi).

I understand he's on the current reboot of Will and Grace as a security guard.

And in all of his performances, we get shirtless and nude shots of his muscular bear physique, often hiding his private parts behind humorous objects.  In Spokane, he bares it all.

Good News and Bad News about Jake T. Austin

You remember Jake T. Austin, who played the gay-subtext kid Max on the Disney Channel's Wizards of Waverly Place (2007-2011), and Jesus on the gay-friendly Fosters (2011-2015)?  Well, I have good news and bad news.

The good news first:

1. He's got an amazing physique, which he is not shy about showing off. Not like some other Disney teen stars I could name.

2. Remarkable chest.  He's Tiger Beat fave rave material.

3. He's still working regularly, doing a lot of voiceovers, like Blue Beetle in the Teen Titans movies.

4. He appeared on Dancing with the Stars in 2016

5. Did I mention his six-pack abs?

6.  He still hangs out with Moises Arias.

7. He has never tweeted anything homophobic.

8. Nice biceps.

9. He's single.

10. He's been spotted on the street in West Hollywood.

And now the bad news:

1. If he was gay, he would have made a public statement by now

2. He has a girlfriend