Sep 30, 2017

Kyle Bornheimer: Bear Bares It All

Kyle Bornheimer has been in the business for less than 10 years, but he is already getting a reputation for failed sitcoms: Worst Week, Perfect Couples, Romantically Challenged, and most recently Family Tools.  In all of them, he plays the same kind of character, a likeable nebbish who is clueless about matters of hetero-romance.  





I suggest some of his non-heterosexist comedy shorts instead, such as Gym Day, about a man who goes through endless hassles to get to the gym, only to find it closed, or God Reschedules Rapture, about...well, God being too busy to hold the Rapture as scheduled.  Some appear on the Funny or Die website.

Kyle has also played  likeable nebbish characters who are clueless about matters of gay romance:

In Spokane (2004): a straight guy falls for a gay guy at a wedding, resulting in a naked hotel room encounter.  You can see it on the collection Boys Life 7 (2010).





In a 2006 episode of the shortlived Lovespring International, about a dating service,  he played a clueless gay nebbish looking for a date.

He also "hints" about same-sex desire, as on Perfect Couples (2010-2011), when Dave (Kyle) makes a gay friend, and his wife is jealous.

Bachelorette (2012) is a raunchy comedy about four women preparing for their friend's wedding.  A gay guy does a striptease for them.






Or most recently, on Family Tools (2013), his character has a requisite crush on a girl, but also cozies up to his assistant, Darren (Edi Gathegi).

I understand he's on the current reboot of Will and Grace as a security guard.

And in all of his performances, we get shirtless and nude shots of his muscular bear physique, often hiding his private parts behind humorous objects.  In Spokane, he bares it all.

Sep 27, 2017

Who is Alex Cypriano?

Someone came to Tales of West Hollywood using the keywords "Alex Cypriano."  Quite a feat, since I never heard of him.  But I was curious -- actor?  Musician?  Sports person?

Nope -- personal trainer.  But a personal trainer who's very good at marketing himself.

New Now Next: "Meet Alex Cypriano, the hairiest man on the internet!"

He doesn't look hairy to me.  Maybe that's another one.







Alex Fit's Instagram has 440,000 followers.

His Facebook page has 1,500 likes















He's got 12,000 backers for his movie, ILYSM, which is about the "crazy lives" of the biggest personalities you know.  I've never heard of any of them.

He's published several e-books of his bulge and body, including a nude workout.












I finally found a brief bio on "All American Guys."  Grew up in Tampa, began weight training at age 16, won Teenage Mr. Tampa at age 19 (I have found no other records of this competition).  Now 21.















And hairy.


The Gay Ghost Who Liked Oral

Ocracoke, a community of 900 on the Outer Banks of North Caroline, is so isolated that it has its own dialect,  the Ocracoke Brogue, with terms and usages leftover from Shakespeare's day.

buck: friend
mommick: to make a mess of
offshore: crazy
quamish: queasy
scud: a short trip

And it is full of ghosts.

Springer's Point, where Blackbeard the Pirate was beheaded, is haunted by a burly man with matted hair and red glowing eyes, who chases trespassers with an axe before disappearing.

The British Cemetery features a lady in Victorian costume who tells visitors that she lost her way en route to a party.

After closing, the employees at Gaffer's Bar often see an elderly man sitting at a booth by himself.  When they approach, he vanishes.

But the most unusual ghost lurks in Tarik's attic.

When Martin and his then-lover Paul bought the house in 1990, they expected the usual haunted house noises: footsteps, slamming doors, mysterious voices.  Maybe some things moved around.  But they didn't expect a horny ghost, a sex-crazed demon, or whatever it was.

The attic was once used as a library -- there were about a dozen thick, heavy bookshelves which absorbed all of the light and made the sloping rafters look forlorn and abandoned. They planned to use it as an overflow bedroom, so they put a in a futon, a nightstand, a lamp, and a couple of chairs.
One weekend a few weeks after they moved in, there were 7 guys in the house, so they put up their old friend Josh in the attic bedroom.

He came downstairs the next morning and said "I don't know which of you did it, but thanks.  That was the best!"

Everyone denied climbing up to the attic to have sex with him .

"I actually didn't get a good look -- it was too dark.  Now that I think about it, I never even opened my eyes.  I didn't reach down to touch the guy's head or shoulders, either."

"How did you avoid touching the guy?" Martin asked.

He shrugged.  "It just never occurred to me.  So, come on, 'fess up, guys -- which of you is the culprit, and can you come back tonight?"

Josh eagerly waited for his mysterious visitor the next night, but nothing happened.

The second guy, Michael, was not so pleased. After a long trip from the mainland, he went right up to bed.


The full story, with nude photos and sexual situations, is on Tales of West Hollywood.

Sep 26, 2017

Good News and Bad News about Jake T. Austin

You remember Jake T. Austin, who played the gay-subtext kid Max on the Disney Channel's Wizards of Waverly Place (2007-2011), and Jesus on the gay-friendly Fosters (2011-2015)?  Well, I have good news and bad news.

The good news first:

1. He's got an amazing physique, which he is not shy about showing off. Not like some other Disney teen stars I could name.









2. Remarkable chest.  He's Tiger Beat fave rave material.

3. He's still working regularly, doing a lot of voiceovers, like Blue Beetle in the Teen Titans movies.

4. He appeared on Dancing with the Stars in 2016












5. Did I mention his six-pack abs?

6.  He still hangs out with Moises Arias.














7. He has never tweeted anything homophobic.

8. Nice biceps.

9. He's single.

10. He's been spotted on the street in West Hollywood.










And now the bad news:

1. If he was gay, he would have made a public statement by now

2. He has a girlfriend

Sep 25, 2017

Terry Smith: A Life Devoted to the Beauty of Youth

Terry Smith grew up in Oklahoma, became a missionary and then a juvenile probation officer, and finally found himself in San Diego.  In May 1996, he bought a new camera and went out to shoot some skaters and surfers.  Soon he was photographing dozens of boys, trying to capture the fluid beauty of youth before it faded into the rigidity of adulthood.  He got some models from professional agencies, but most were discovered on the street, hanging out, skateboarding, swimming, being kids.

Chris (left) was one of his first models.

The project expanded to thousands of photographs of hundreds of boys taken over a period of over 20 years.

Terry preferred the androgynous, gender-atypical boys, the outcasts, Goths, Emos who rejected the macho sports culture of their high schools, the gay, bisexual, asexual, and queer.

But he didn't just photograph them.  He took an interest, got to know them, helped them through the turmoil of their teen years, kept in touch after they grew up.  Some have become models and artists.  About 20 have children of their own.   Five have died, three from the effects of drug addiction, two from suicide.

In 2012 there was a retrospective exhibit at the DRKRM Gallery in Los Angeles.

A book is planned for 2017.

A film of Terry's work with the kids, America's Finest Kids: A Historical Journey in Art and Anthropology, is in development, with a portion of the proceeds going to raise awareness of youth suicide.

Some of the photographs are uploaded to Terry's tumblr page, americasfinestkids.tumblr.com.

Here are some of Terry's favorite models:



Joshua was an Emo kid.










Matt was a model from the Pacific Northwest.  Terry is the first photographer to ever shoot him naked.













Reed is a more recent model, just 18, a skateboarder in vintage hip-huggers.











Siaha is pink, androgynous, and reflective.


















Sergei on the beach.


















Thomas stretching.

Nude photos are on Tales of West Hollywood.

Sep 24, 2017

Daria: Sparks of Humanity in the Craziness of Modern Life

After appearing as a minor character on MTV's animated Beavis and Butthead, sardonic high schooler Daria spun off into her own series in 1997.  You could tell by the theme song that this would be no Beavis redux:

Excuse me...EXCUSE ME...You're standing on my neck!

Daria is a super-intelligent, anti-social, outcast student at bourgeois Lawndale High, negotiating horribly incompetent, glory-grubbing teachers and idiotic students.

Lke squeaky-voiced Kevin, a football quarterback in spite of his less-than-spectacular physique, and his ditzy girlfriend Brittany.






Home is no better.  Mom Helen is a high-power attorney who is constantly taking phone calls from work, too busy to notice her daughters.  Dad Jake is a high-strung moron with a traumatic past.

Sister Quinn is super-popular, a member of the vacuous Fashion Club, dating a dozen guys, including the trio Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie, afraid to let on how smart she actually is.



Daria has a gay-subtext buddy relationship with fellow outcast, the artistic Jane ("we'll always be freaking friends"), and there are a few other people in Lawndale who she can stand the sight of:









Trent, Jane's brother, an aspiring singer in the punk group Mystic Spiral (left, fan pic from Deviantart.com)

Tom, Jane's boyfriend, who Daria eventually steals (below).

Mack, the only black male student at Lawndale High (second below), and his overachieving girlfriend Jodie, are allies.














It's not just "aren't most people idiots" 1990s angst.  Daria has many faults of her own -- she is judgmental, temperamental, inclined to jealousy, terrified of rejection.  She often gets her comeuppance.

All of the characters are flawed, but they all demonstrate some redeeming traits, too, moments of kindness, anxiety about the future, sparks of humanity that shine through the craziness.









A lot of beefcake -- cute animated guys, that is.  But rarely shirtless.  These photos are all from the opening montage of the movie Is It Fall Yet?  

Not a lot of gay content, other than the Daria-Jane subtext and the three inseparable J's.

 An occasional homophobic aside:

Daria notes that in Medieval England, King John made Robin Hood his "special friend."

One of the J's suggests that Mercutio from Romeo and Juliet is gay, and therefore should be banned from the locker room.

A predatory bisexual woman tries to convince Jane that she's a lesbian in order to get into her pants.

Not nearly as bad as other animated sitcoms of the period, or today. Have you seen Family Guy lately?




Plus it is amazingly well-written, funny without being vulgar, and that rarest of creatures, sarcasm with a heart.  Well worth getting ahold of the complete series on DVD (65 episodes and two movies).




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