The Gay Enchanted Forest of Spooky the Tuff Little Ghost

When I was a kid in the 1960s, my favorite comics by far were the Harvey supernatural titles: ghosts, witches, and devils roaming an oddly-Medieval Enchanted Forest where same-sex desire was commonplace.

I preferred Casper, but in a pinch, I would read about Spooky the Tuff Little Ghost, a ghost boy with a Brooklyn accent, freckles, and a derby (or, as he pronounced it,  “doiby”).  (Not to be confused with Charlton's far inferior Timmy the Timid Ghost).

But while Casper was a 1960s nonconformist with a gay-coded softness and sensitivity, the hawkish Spooky had no aversion to booing.

 In Spooky’s wild region of the Enchanted Forest, ravenous bears, ogres, monsters, and evil wizards leapt out from behind every boulder, so booing was an essential form of self defense.  But for Spooky, it was an all-consuming passion.  He specialized in complex, artistic boos, creating statements similar to the happenings and guerilla theater of the 1960’s art scene: he might boo a horse and rider into trading places, so that the rider runs off with the horse on his back, or he might boo a lake out of its bed so precisely that the fish remain, swimming in mid-air.

In “Once upon a Scaresday," Spooky explains how he took up booing in the first place.  As a child, he was a coward and a sissy, always running away from danger.  One day he was walking in the hills beyond Spooktown with some friends, when cannibalistic monsters called Ghostcatchers attacked.  Spooky managed to run away, but his best friend Googy was captured and dragged off to be cooked and eaten.  Distraught with guilt and mourning his loss, Spooky asked his grandfather for advice, and the elderly ghost taught him how to defend himself by booing.  He proved to have a great gift for this ghostly martial art, and soon he was able to seek out the monsters and rescue his friend just as the cooking-fire was being lit.

A same-sex relationship originally motivated Spooky to boo, and a heterosexual relationship now compels him to stop.  Spooky and Poil (his pronunciation of Pearl) are quite an adult couple, dating, dining at each other’s homes, and even kissing on couches.  Pearl forbids him from booing.  She claims that it is immoral, but her real reason is class-based snobbery: she considers booing boorish and vulgar, a working-class pastime likely to offend her high-society ghost friends (but they usually turn out to be closet booing fans).

Spooky is constantly promising to refrain from booing, to keep Poil from brow-beating or even leaving him.  Many stories involved his frantic but quite clever schemes to continue booing after such a pledge, either for self defense or to assuage his addiction: he throws his voice, writes “boo” in the sand, spells it out with smoke signals.  But why would Spooky even agree to cease a useful, artistic, socially-praised, and strategically necessary activity, just because Poil disapproves?  Obviously she offers something more valuable than any of these things, more valuable than any love, but what?  I was mystified; I could imagine giving up a bad habit or even an innocuous hobby at the admonition of a friend, but a career, a passion, a veritable calling?

I knew it had something to do with the girls who jumped their ropes and played their singsong games in the shadow of the school.  At recess, we boys were herded far away to fields to play baseball and dodge ball, and if ever once we tried to play jump rope, or merely sit on the steps nearby to avoid the midday sun, a teacher would scream wildly at us to stay put.  What danger lurked there, against the cool bricks?  What threat did girls pose that could force Tommy Kirk to forsake his buddies at Midvale College, or Alec to forsake the wonders of the Earth’s Core, or Spooky to forsake his booing?

Manly P. Hall: Gay Psychic Murdered by His Lover

When I lived in Los Angeles, there was a University of Philosophical Research at 3910 Los Feliz, near the Silverlake gay neighborhood.  But it wasn't a university, and it didn't do any philosophical research, although it had a library of 50,000 volumes.  It was a mystical/occult organization founded by Manly P. Hall (1901-1990), who published The Secret Teachings of All Ages (1928).

I haven't read it.  It's a gigantic compendium of occult lore, thick, dense, and impenetrable, with chapters on "The Bembine Table of Isis," "The Hiramic Legend," "Hermetic Pharmacology," and "Fundamentals of Qabbalistic Cosmogony."  But it was immensely popular, on the shelf of everyone from H.P. Lovecraft to F. Scott Fitzgerald, and it has never gone out of print.

Hall became one of the biggest celebrities of the era.  In 1934 he founded the Philosophical Research Society, and stocked its library with thousands of rare occult volumes purchased for him by wealthy disciples, notably oil heiress Carolyn Lloyd.

He wrote many more books -- nearly 200 -- some with beefcake covers, like this rather buffed deity with a shining phallus creating the worlds.

He delivered over 7,000 lectures.

For all his erudition, Hall's philosophy was simple.  His Ten Basic Rules for Better Living include:
1. Stop worrying.
2. Don't try to dominate and control other people.
3. Learn to relax
4. Cultivate a sense of humor
5. Reign in your ambition.
6. Don't accumulate more than you need.
7. Believe in something bigger than yourself.
8. Never intentionally harm anyone.
9. Beware of anger.
10. Never blame others for your own mistakes.

Elvis Presley was a fan.  So was Ronald Reagan. He officiated at the wedding of horror movie great Bela Lugosi.

Disciples stood in line around the block on Los Feliz Avenue to hear his advice.  Astrologers, bodybuilders, magicians, actors, writers, philosophers.

A few -- the best and brightest, the most eager, the most muscular (see top photo) -- stayed on, to become his assistants.  Like future paranormal researcher Arthur Louis Joquel.

Hall was gay or bisexual.  He was married twice, but neither marriage was ever consummated.  His wives and disciples turned a blind eye to his interest in attractive male proteges, and quickly put a stop to any hint of scandal. Except for the last one.

In 1988, when Hall had become morbidly obese, almost unable to walk, and showed signs of dementia, he fell in with a salesman-turned-psychic named Daniel Fritz, who claimed to be a reincarnation of a prince from ancient Atlantis, and his son David, who regularly took spirit-journeys to Jupiter.

No different than the hundreds of other psychics, astrologers, occultists, and reincarnated princes that Hall had entertained over the years.  But his disciples suspected that these two were con artists.  

In August 1990 Hall rewrote his will to give Daniel his entire estate, worth some $52,000,000.  Six days later, he was dead.  Daniel and David were alone with the body for several hours.  Disciples believed that the two had murdered him.

An inquest found no evidence of foul play.  But the will was contested, and the estate reverted to Hall's widow.  Daniel and David moved on to other clients.

"Spy Intervention": You Knew What You Were Signing On For

I  plugged in Spy Intervention, hoping for some beefcake, and maybe a best-buddy spy gay-subtext.

Scene 1:  A stereotyped caveman and woman (both blond white people). The voiceover: "At the dawn of time, men's and womens' roles were well defined."  Men hunted and gathered, and women stayed home "in the safety of the cave to cook."

That's idiotic.  No such strictly defined gender roles existed, and nobody actually lived in caves. 

"But over millions of years, something strange happened.  The lines blurred."

Ok, homo sapiens have only been around for about 300,000 years.  And the sexist fool is upset over women being able to work outside the home? 

Only 1 minute and 3 seconds in, and I'm already tearing my hair out.  I don't think I'm going to make it.

We go through history to the white-picket-fence 1950s, the couple kissing in each era.

Scene 2:  Spy (Drew Van Acker, top photo) and his associate Smuts (Blake Anderson, right) discuss where to take their girlfriends (Paris...Katmandu?).

Meanwhile Spy jumps out of a plane, kills an assassin, chases the bad guy through a shopping mall, and collides with the Girl.  They have a "are you as turned on as I am?" argument while the Bad Guy gets away.

Scene 3: Smuts and the two girls are in a hot tub in Katmandu, being stood up by Spy, who has taken the Girl ice-skating.

I fast forward through six minutes of them talking, kissing, talking, kissing, holding hands, having sex, holding hands, talking, and sitting on a couch in matching sweaters. Some long-shots of Spy's chest, but they are drowned out by the tight close ups of the Girl's face.  You can count the nostril hairs.

Scene 4: The Girl is at work in the mall, being hit on by a customer.  Sassy Friend tells her she's an idiot for not dating the rich guy, but the Girl is holding out for True Love.

Scene 5: Spy resigns (uh-oh, time for The Village).  He wants a normal life, with a job selling cardboard, a house with a picket fence, bowling on Tuesday nights, kids' soccer games, Satirdays at the hardware store.  Do men actually want the heteronormative trajectory of job, house, wife, kids, or is it just the power-elite trying to get us to buy things?

Scene 6: Spy and Girl move into a horrible house in the suburbs -- ranch, no picket fence.  They unpack boxes then kiss for 2.5 minutes of screen time..  This is every 1960s sitcom.  No, honey, I don't want any of your wealth/fame/witchcraft powers/genie powers.  I want to live a normal life, with you as my house slave...um, housewife.

Scene 7:  Spy is at his job selling cardboard from a cubicle, then joining the bowling team, then coming home to announce "Honey, I'm home," whereupon the Girl feeds him a sample of the Nepalese dinner she has prepared.  Nepalese?  Shouldn't she be making meatloaf? 

And what does any of this have to do with the first scene, the adulation of prehistoric times, where women knew their place," but then gender roles got all mixed up?  The Girl seems to know her place perfectly well.

Scene 8: Spy hates his job, and he's lousy at it; and he hates his bowling team for not being interested in winning.  Meanwhile, a lady dressed in a 1960s British raincoat photographs Spy (we never discover what that is about).

Scene 9:  Two minutes of Spy and Girl kissing. But then she refuses sex with him.  Uh-oh.

Scene 10:  Girl and Sassy Friend discuss how bored and miserable she is. Gee, too bad she didn't marry a spy, har-har.  

Meanwhile Spy and Smuts discuss how bored and miserable he is.

Scene 11:  Spy is captured and tied up -- by the other spies.  Smuts introduces him to his new partner, nicknamed Remora, the Sucker Fish (because he likes to give blow jobs?  Is this a gay reference?).

Remora is played by Akaash Yadav, who is attractive but has an Instagram full of pics of him hugging a woman, gazing into her eyes, dancing with her, and so on.

 They tell Spy that he is bored and miserable because he never finished his las assignment: to capture the Bad Guy he was chasing when he collided with the Girl 

Bad Guy recently got married, and is honeymooning right there in suburbia.  He's also planning to buy plans for a weapon that can destroy the world.  All Spy has to do is intercept the plans.

Spy refuses and walks out, but changes his mind later, while in bed in his...ugh...suburban home.

Scene 12:  Spy is paired with a Mrs. Spy (because marreid men seem more trustworthy to heteronormative heterosexist heterosexuals). But the agent assigned to be Mrs. Spy doesn't think that anyone would believe someone as babilicious as her would marry such a schlub so she gives him a hotness makeover.

There's some buddy-bonding homoeroticism between Spy and Smuts ("we've always worked together"), but it's drowned out by the incessant "we used to get lots of hot girls" talk.

Scene 13: Gone until late at night, hot makeover?  Spy is obviously having an affair.  The Girl commisserates with Sassy Friend.  Meanwhile, Smuts and Remora are filming Spy and Mrs. Spy in sexy positions, for some reason.

Scene 14: Spy attacks a guy at the hardware store, mistaking his princing gun for a real weapon.  He has problems at work and with the bowling team.  Then he rushes off to his spy assignment: dinner at the same restaurant Bad Guy (Max Silvestri) and Mrs. Bad Guy are eating at.  The Girl puts on a disguise to spy on Spy.

I skipped over the ensuing comedy of errors.

Scene 15: Spy at the bowling alley, complaining about the narrowly defined suburban life: "There's got to be more than this, right?"  His buds explain: no, there is no more.  "You get married, have a couple of kids, stop having sex, save for retirment, pick where you want your ashes scattered.  There is no grand adventure, just living."

This is certainly a critique of the heteronormative job-house-wife-kids trajectory.  But I don't think they mean to critique heteronormativity; they want to find the grand adventure in Her Eyes.

Scene 16: Spy goes home, takes off his shirt (finally, some beefcake!) and argues with The Girl over grand adventure vs. just living.

Scene 17: The Girl tails Spy to the hotel where he's staying with the fake Mrs. Spy.  They put on spy-swimsuits and head to the pool (beefcake and enormous bulge nearly hidden by tiny string bikinis).  They buddy up to Bad Guy and Mrs. Bad Guy.

Spy excuses himself and accosts the Pool Boy, who has the secret plans.

Then The Girl confronts Spy over his "cheating."  Mrs. Spy tries to salvage the con by saying that she is a delusional ex-fiancee, but Bad Guy and Mrs. Bad Guy are gone.

Scene 18:  Back home, Spy tries to reconcile with the Girl.  Suddenly the bowling team and their wives show up for the dinner party the Girl has apparently scheduled.  Then Sassy Friend.  Then the fake Mrs. Spy, trying to salvage things by explaining that she is the sexy dance instructor.  Then Bad Guy arrives to ask for his plans back, or he 'll shoot them all.

There's a tiny bit of lesbian-flirting between Sassy Friend and the fake Mrs. Spy, but it's over in a second.

Spy finally comes clean about the spy thing.  The Girl is angry with him for ruining the dinner party.

They subdue Bad Guy, and the bowling team subdues the henchmen (getting their grand adventure after all).

Scene 19: Divorced from Spy, the Girl quits her job and designs her own toiletry line called "Undercover: Discove who you really are."  Darn, I thought she was going to become a spy, like Scarecrow and Mrs. King.  How is selling shampoo adventurous?

Meanwhile, Spy, back in the spy biz, is climbing a mountain with Smuts, fake Mrs. Spy, and Remora..  Smuts asks Remora to go out for a beer later, but then reneges -- a tiny gay subtext?

Spy still misses The Girl, and....Tell me that True Love isn't going to win!  Please?

Scene 20:  Darn it!  "If we embrace our primal instincts, every day can be an adventure." In other words, invite Her along on the adventure, which is the exact opposite of the Scene 1 message that women should stay back in the cave, making meatloaf.

 Three -- three heterosexual couples and a fade-out kiss between Spy and The Girl.  True Love wins out, making the job, house, wife, kids trajectory wondrously fulfilling, with only the tiniest bit of "really stretching it" gay subtext.

But I knew what I was getting into from the start.  Should I be upset when it happens?

Another Round of "Amazon Prime Moves We Think You'll Like"

Ready for another round of "Amazon Prime movies we think you'll like"?

Here's how to play: Go through the list of recommended movies to find one that isn't about a man and a woman finding love, or a conflicted, angst-ridden gay guy who finds love with a woman.  If you can find 1 or more  in 10, you win.

1. Spy Intervention: "When a spy meets his dream woman...."  Starring Drew Van Acker as the Spy (unfortunately, this is a scene from another movie."  Next!

2. Guns Akimbo:  "A guy relies on his newfound gladiator skills to save his ex-girlfriend...."  Starring Daniel Radcliffe, who just posted an impassioned rebuttal of J. K. Rowling's transphobia.  So I'll give it the benefit of the doubt and read the plot synopsis, just in case the two didn't break up just so they would get back together.  

They don't.  But I'm still not interested in a "Saving The Girl" plot.  Next!

3. The Unearthing: "An adventurous teenage girl unearths a supernatural mystery."  The trailer makes it look like either supernatural horror or fantasy-adventure.  No plot synopsis available, but according to a review, the filmmaker, Tristan James Jensen, was only 16 years old.  This was a student project.  How did it get on Amazon?  Maybe.

4. Bindlestiffs: Three high school students, all boys, act out the plot of Catcher in the Rye.  Holden Caulfield was a raging homophobe.  But I'll read the plot synopsis.  One of the boys has sex with a homeless woman because he's upset over discovering that his teacher is a lesbian.  Another has sex with a prostitute.  A third is forced to perform a gross, disgusting sex act...with a guy!  Aren't gay people the worst?  Next!

5. Just Jim: A Welsh teenager becomes the cool kid after making a "deal with the devil" with his new American neighbor.  The trailer looks very angsty, like Fight Club, but the poster says "hilarious!"  No plot synopsis available, but I'll bet that if there is a gay subtext, it's all evil and destructive: same-sex desire pushes you into violence and oblivion.  Next!

6. Reach:  Band nerd Steve (Garrett Clayton, left) is planning to kill himself (come on, playing a musical instrument isn't that bad).  Well, according to the review in Variety, he's being bullied by everybody, including a villainous gay drama nerd and a "closeted homosexual" ex-friend.  (The homophobic term is from Variety, not me).  Then the new kid befriends him.  The review didn't say if they start dating or not, but I'll bet, with all the homophobic queer villains around, they don't.  Next!

7. Totally Confused:  Johnny is a rock and roller "struggling with his sexuality."  "Confused" is a homophobic term for "gay."  The blurb on IMDB says "gay," not "confused," but still, it's totally offensive.  Next!

8. Speedwalking: Martin is "getting ready for the transition from boy to man."  Whoops, that usually means sex with a girl.  But according to IMDB, he has a "confused sexuality," homophobic for "gay."   And it's not symbolic -- he literally joins a "speedwalking" team. Who cares about sports, especially a weird sport like that, even if a "confused" boy is playing it?  Next!

9. The Trigger: Erik, a hustler just released from prison.... A hustler is a male prostitute.  You don't go to prison for prostitution -- it's a misdemeanor offense.   And 99% of a male prostitute's clients are men, but in the trailer Erik is shown sexing a woman.  Next!

10. An Awkward Sexual Adventure:  After The Girl of His Dreams dumps him, an uptight accountant meets a beautiful stripper, who helps him try to get The Girl back, but turns out to be The Girl herself.  Sure, I'd be happy to watch...just kidding.  Triple Next!

Looks like I'm watching the student project.

Post-script: It's horribly over-written and cliched, and the boy and the girl find love.