Diff'rent Strokes (1978-86) is one of those iconic 1980s tv series that everyone knew about but no one watched (at least no one I knew watched). Everybody could quote Gary Coleman's incredulous catchphrase, "What you talkin' bout?"
The plot was standard "fish out of water": old, rich white guy, Mr. Drummond (Conrad Bain) adpots the two poor African-American kids of his recently deceased housekeeper (hey, Rich White Guy, if you had paid her a living wage, or offered life insurance, maybe her kids wouldn't be poor).
The teenage Willis (Todd Bridges) is suspicious and surely, but the chipmunk-cheeked preteen Arnold (Gary Coleman) is adorable.
The cast was filled out by Drummond's teenage daughter Kimberly (Dana Plato) and current housekeeper Mrs. Garrett (Charlotte Rae). Later there were other housekeepers, Willis's role was minimized, Kimberly was written out altogether, and Drummond married a woman with a cute preteen son (Danny Cooksey) to bond with Arnold.
Early episodes involved various friends, relatives, classmates, and social service personnel being shocked by the arrangement.
I didn't watch many later episodes. Not enough beefcake, not enough gay subtexts, and it aired either opposite my favorite programs, Taxi and Barney Miller, or during the date-and-outing time of Saturday night.
But I heard about its string of Very Special (that is, very depressing) episodes, apparently meant to impress upon kids the dangers of life in the 1980s:
First Lady Nancy Reagan stops by to give her famous advice on drug prevention: "Just say no."
While hitchhiking, Kimberly and Arnold are kidnapped. Arnold escapes and rushes to fetch the police, arriving just in time to save Kimberly from being raped.
Danny (shown here with the Dukes of Hazzard) is kidnapped, too, by a grieving mother and father who want him to replace their own dead son. Arnold rushes to the rescue.
The only Very Special Episode I watched was "The Bicycle Man," which aired on February 5th and 12th, 1983.
Arnold and his friend Dudley (Shavar Ross) befriend bicycle shop owner Mr. Horton (Gordon Jump) who cagily flirts with them:
Horton [Giving Arnold a radio for his bike]: I scratch your back, you scratch mine.
Arnold: You give me this present, you can scratch me all over.
After advising him to keep their relationship a secret, Horton plies them with wine and X-rated cartoons, and talks Dudley into posing for shirtless photos. Arnold finally gets uncomfortable and bails, but Dudley stays.
They then sit around for five minutes discussing what parents should do in such a situation: don't blame the child, call the police rather than confronting the guy yourself, etc.
Willis says: "I never would have guessed that Mr. Horton was...you know...gay." The word is so distasteful to him that he has a hard time saying it.
Detective Simpson corrects him: "He's not, Willis. That's the common fallacy about child molesters. They're not gay, they're only interested in little boys or little girls, not adults."
Arnold: "Look, I'm only eleven years old! Should I be hearing all of this?"
Arnold has kept quiet or cracked jokes through the conversation about child molesting, but when it turns to gay people, he objects.
That's the only time gay people were mentioned in eight seasons. I'm guessing the theme song was talking about something else:
Now the world don't move to the beat of just one drum.
What might be right for you, may not be right for some.
Jun 25, 2016
The adults are lying, only real is real.
We stop the fight right now, we got to be what we feel.
The movie itself was unremittingly hetero-horny heterosexist: boys and girls circle each other, preen, posture, try to hook up, and finally succeed, with some uncomfortable gender politics.
No gay content except for a couple of homophobic jokes.
I just saw Grease Live (2016), a live version that aired on Fox. Nostalgia about nostalgia, a 2016 broadcast adapting a 1978 movie which was itself an adaption of a 1971 musical set in the year 1959.
Got all that?
The plot stays the same: at Rydell High in 1959, Danny, leader of the T-Birds, and Sandy, member of the Pink Ladies, play a game of desire and rejection, "cool" greaser vs. "good girl" amid such nostalgic settings as a malt shop,a sleepover, and a drag race. In the end, Sandy abandons the good girl act and pretends to be sexually voracious, thus driving Danny wild and winning his heart.
Meanwhile, each of the other T-Birds hooks up with one of the Pink Ladies.
Danny: Aaron Tveit (top photo)
Kenicke: Carlos Pena Vega (left)
Putzie: David Del Rio (below)
Sonny: Andrew Call
How did they update the 1970's classic?
1. The cast is multi-ethnic, with plenty of interracial couples.
2. Sandy is from Salt Lake City, Utah, not Australia.
3. Danny defends Eugene the Nerd, and eventually invites him to join the gang. Eugene also gets a girlfriend, a female nerd, and shows killer moves at the dance contest.
4. Pink Lady Jan, previously ridiculed for being fat, is now ridiculed for being weird.
5. There are male and female cheerleaders, but the dialogue, oddly, assumes that they're all female.
6. They changed some of the dirty lyrics, but they kept the rape-promoting "Did she put up a fight?" from "Summer Nights"
1. During the dance contest, the coach reads the rules: in 1978, "male-female couples only," followed by a homophobic joke against Eugene. In 2016, the line was changed to "couples only, no singles, no triples." Which would have been great if there were same-sex couples, but there were none. As the scene stands, it completely erases even the awareness that gay people exist.
2. In 1978, Kenicke asks Danny to be his "second" in the drag race at Thunder Road; they hug, then jump apart in homophobic panic. In 2016, they see the other guys staring before jumping apart. Kenicke asks "What are you looking at?" Seems more homophobic.
3. In "We Belong Together" in 1978, each T-Bird is paired with his respective Pink Lady, except for Sonny, who looks shocked when he is paired with a dog instead of Marty. This shot was cut in 2016.
I looked carefully, and couldn't see anyone who looked like a same-sex couple in any of the crowd scenes, at all. In "We Belong Together," everyone pairs off into male-female couples. Even the curtain calls are male -female couples.
But he didn't. 38 years later, gay people are still not welcome in the world of Rydell High.
See also: Grease 2: The Gay Connection; I Lost It at the Movies.
Jun 23, 2016
Take the tragedy of Icarus:
According to Greek mythology, skilled inventor Daedalus and his son Icarus were imprisoned in Crete. To escape, Daedalus made them wings from bird feathers, held together with wax. The plan would have worked, except that Icarus flew too close to the sun, so the wax on his wings melted, and he plunged to his death.
In the ancient world, and through the Middle Ages, the story was used to illustrate the folly of over-confidence, trying to do more than you are able. But more recent artists and writers have a different take: strive to be all that you can. You may fail, but at least you were able to fly.
Or they just like to portray a muscular nude Athenian youth, before, during, or after his flight.
Daedalus and Icarus (1645), by French painter Charles LeBrun, shows the moment when Daedalus rouses Icarus to try on his wings.
The top photo, of course, is from fantasy artist Boris Vallejo.
William Carlos Williams wrote a poem about it:
a splash quite unnoticed
I knew about Married...with Children. On Sunday nights, my roommate Derek and I always watched the beefcake-heavy: 21 Jump Street and Werewolf on the fledgling Fox network, but we turned the tv off when the "Love and Marriage" theme song began.
Who wanted to watch a tv show that praised the heterosexual nuclear family?
Big mistake. Married skewered the institution.
In the first season plot arc, Al and Peggy have fun trying to destroy a naive newly married couple, Marcy (Amanda Bearse) and Steve (David Garrison). They're like George and Martha in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, except their tactic is criticizing wives and husbands, respectively, and it works! The couple soon divorces, and Marcy hooks up with metrosexual boytoy Boomererson (Ted McGinley).
Lots of beefcake -- Kelly had lots of shirtless, muscular boyfriends, such as Dan Gauthier, and in later seasons, Bud began to muscle-up big time.
Gay people appear only once.
Yet Married -- at least in its early years, before the downward spiral of Seasons 7-10 -- artfully revealed the flimsy foundation of the "fade out kiss," the myth of universal heterosexual destiny. In the heart of the Reagan-Bush Era of conservative retrenchment, that was worth any number of "old friend visits and turns out to be gay" episodes.
Amanda Bearse came out in real life in 1993, and the rest of the cast are strong gay allies.
Katey Sagal and Christina Applegate have made public statements supporting gay marriage.
Ed O'Neill now stars in Modern Family, as the patriarch of a family that includes a gay son and son-in-law.
David Faustino played gay characters in Get Your Stuff (2000) and in Killer Bud (2001), and in Ten Attitudes (2001), he played "himself," not gay but on the gay dating circuit (for a sleazy reason). He also played "himself" in the webseries Star-Ving (along with buddy Corin Nemec). See his post here.
He's currently in talks with producers about a Married spin-off, with Bud as an adult, married...with children.
Jun 22, 2016
During the 1970s, a series of sketches on The Carol Burnett Show featured the young Vicki Lawrence in old-lady drag as the abrasive matriarch of a dysfunctional Southern family. In 1983 she spun off into Mama's Family as the elderly Thelma Harper, still grumpy but considerably nicer -- a champion of the underdog, fighting such social ills as illiteracy, nursing home abuse, and sexual harassment in the workplace.
Her family consisted of her conservative sister (Rue McClanahan, later of The Golden Girls), her dimwitted son Vint (Ken Berry, center, previously of Mayberry RFD), his sexually voracious wife Naomi (Dorothy Lyman, right), and his kids.
After a season, the show was cancelled. It returned in syndication in 1986, with the sister and kids gone, and Allan Kayser (left) introduced as Bubba, Thelma's juvenile delinquent grandson.
And the jaws of gay men everywhere dropped. The 22-year old Kayser had a dazzling smile, a stunning physique, and an amazing bulge, and he knew it. And the producers knew it.
In every episode, he was crammed into muscle shirts and sweatpants or painted-on jeans, and his body always got the limelight, even when something else was going on.
Mama's Family immediately became must-see tv. It aired on Saturday nights, so we watched Mama's Family and The Golden Girls before going out to the bars.
The only gay content was Thelma's subtext friendship with mousy neighbor Iola (Beverly Archer). Bubba's plotlines were standard teenage sitcom fare -- school projects, teams, dates -- with no significant male friends, except his Uncle Vinton, and that relationship was avuncular, not romantic.
But sometimes beefcake is enough.
During the 1980s, Allan also starred in a few B-movies that allowed him to show off his bulge and biceps, including Hot Chili (1985) and Night of the Creeps (1986).
When Mama's Family ended in 1990, he retired from acting, married, and moved to Missouri. He has appeared in only a few small roles since.
He still has a stunning physique, and he is still gracious to his gay fans.
See also: The Golden Girls
Jun 20, 2016
The day before, June 23rd, is Võidupüha, Victory Day, commemorating the Estonian War of Independence, and the struggle for freedom of all of the Baltic nations.
People go swimming, have barbecues, get drunk, and most importantly, light bonfires to signify the triumph of summer over winter.
Adherents of Estonian paganism, Maausk, sometimes jump nude.
When it finally gets dark, people pair off and head out into the woods to look for a special fern that just blooms once a year.
Yeah, right, that's what they're doing.
In the Slavic countries, St. John's Eve is like Halloween, a time when the barrier between our world and the spirit world fails, and there are ghosts and goblins running around. Gay Russian writer Nikolai Gogol's short story "St. John's Eve" is about a man who searches for a treasure that can only be discovered that night, but meets the devil instead.
See also: Yuri and I Cruise in Estonia.
Born in Leningrad in 1989, Yelchin moved to the U.S. with his parents and began acting professionally at age 10, in the tv series ER.
On a 2003 episode of Without a Trace, he plays a shy, gay-coded boy who is kidnapped along with his classmates.
Starring roles in Jack, Fierce People, and Alpha Dog followed, plus a tv series, Huff.
The Star Trek reboots with Kirk and company just out of Star Fleet Academy, have occupied Yelchin's time for the past several years. When I was a kid, I thought that Chekhov and Sulu were a romantic couple.
Yelchin still managed to find some independent vehicles, such as a remake of Fright Night, the heterosexist paranormal saga Odd Thomas and the spy caper Dying of the Light (where he buddy-bonds with Nicholas Cage)
See also: Star Trek
Jun 19, 2016
When I was very little, he was on My Three Sons (1960-1972). I paid most attention to the college-age son Robbie Douglas (Don Grady, left), who like boys, but sometimes I noticed that his pipe-smoking, newspaper-reading Dad (Fred MacMurray) was married to a man.
Apparently together a long time (seen here in 1935).
Then in a series of Disney movies: The Shaggy Dog (1959), The Absent-Minded Professor (1961), Bon Voyage (1962), Son of Flubber (1963), playing a scatterbrained professor or bumbling dad. He always had a wife, but the movie mostly involved bonding with gay actor Tommy Kirk, who played his son or favorite student.
Big Valley), but also has a gay-subtext buddy-bond with his boss, Barton Keyes (played by some famous gangster guy of the 1930s).
Before that Fred MacMurry was an all-round athlete and 1930s heartthrob who posed semi-nude for his fans.