Black Summer: The First Days of a Gay-Free Zombie Apocalypse

Do we really need more zombies, after Walking Dead, Fear the Walking Dead, Shaun of the Dead, Juan of the Dead, Zombieland, 28 Weeks Later, after zombie comedies, children's movies, and teen romances?

Probably not, but yesterday I still binge watched Black Summer (2019)  (except for a couple of episodes that looked boring), taking the point of view of someone who has never heard of zombies.

It opens with running.  People running fast through a suburban neighborhood (filmed in Calgary), trying to reach the army trucks that will evacuate them.  Something bad happened several weeks ago, and the world is in chaos,  There are marauders everywhere who will steal your supplies.

Plus when people die, they instantly turn into monsters and attack their companions. The monsters are very fast and impervious to bullets unless you hit them in the head, but they can't open doors.

In the first episode, there are five interconnected stories of survivors running, and when the army trucks leave without them, trying to get to the Stadium, where all of the survivors are gathering.

There is a lot of heterosexist rhetoric: "Do you have a family?"  "I'm a good guy.  I have a family."  "I have to find my wife/daughter/husband/ boyfriend."  And no gay characters or male-male bonding to speak of.  Mostly people interact in boy-girl dyads.

Finally they merge into 2 groups.

Group 1 consists of:
1. Rose (Jaimie King), whose husband monsterized, but her daughter got on the truck.

2. Ryan (Mustafa Alabssi, a deaf Syrian refugee).  His character is apparently not  Syrian. Cop-out!

3. Lance (Kelsey Flower), whose girlfriend monsterized.  He and Ryan have a brief buddy-bonding moment, but then Ryan monsterizes and turns on him.

4. Spears (Justin Chu Cary), who was being held by the army when he killed his guard and escaped.  He actually has taken his guard's name.  He hints that he knows something important, but we never find out what.

At least Justin Chu Cary has some beefcake photos.

Group #1 is trapped in a school where Lord of the Flies kids lure survivors in to play monster-human games (Aiden Fink, left, plays the Head Boy)

Ryan is killed (my favorite character!), and Lance gets separated from the group, leaving...wait for it... Rose and Spears, the same boy-girl dyad we see in every zombie movie ever made.  They'll be falling in lo-ooo-ove soon, I betcha.

Group 2 consists of:
1. Barbara (Gwyneth Walsh), who is separated from her family out west.

2. Velez (Sal Velez), who is also separated from his family out west.

3. Sun (Ooh Kungsun), who speaks only Korean and is separated from her mother.

They get into a car-battle with the occupants of a pick-up truck, resulting in Barbara monsterizing and Velez and Sun...another boy-girl pair...taking refuge in a deserted diner.

They add some new members:
1. Manny (Eddson Morales)
2. Carmen (Erika Hau)
3. Phil (Stafford Perry)

But Phil monsterizes, leaving Manny and Carmen, a third boy-girl dyad.  How much lo--ooo--ove can one zombie series take?

Eventually the groups converge and make it to the Stadium downtown.  There is utter chaos, with survivors shooting monsters and each other everywhere.  Most of the survivors are killed in the fallout.  Only Rose, Sun, and Spears actually make it inside.

The Stadium is deserted. It was not a refuge after all.

But on the bright side, a soldier brings in Rose's daughter.

What?  How did he know?  I mean, she got on a truck with lots of other survivors, who aren't around.  How did....

Beefcake:  None.  No one has time to take anything off.  I did find some beefcake photos of Nathaniel Arcand, who plays Governale in three episodes (I don't know who that is).

Gay characters/subtexts:  None to speak of.

Gay actors: None that I could find.

"I'm looking for my husband/wife":  A lot.

Sigh. When is The Walking Dead coming back?

The Catholic Fundamentalists

When I was growing up in the Nazarene Church, we yelled.  We jumped up and down.  We raised our hands.  We clapped our hands.  We chanted "Jesus!  Jesus!  Jesus!"

I hated it.  It went against everything in my nature.

Even though Nazarenes were supposed to fear and hate the Roman Catholic Church, I was totally into all things Catholic:  crucifixes, Rosaries, chalices, novenas, solidarities, quiet contemplation of the Divine.

I always go to Mass if I'm near one of the great cathedrals of Europe.   Who wouldn't jump at the chance to pray and meditate in a setting like this?

So I was dismayed to see a guy at the gym wearing a t-shirt for the "Divine Mercy Youth Evangelization Team."  "Divine Mercy" sounds Catholic, but "evangelization" is what evangelical Christians do.

Turns out that YET (national organization NET), open to all confirmed teens (the equivalent of evangelical "saved"), is dedicated to "making disciples of the whole world."

(It's very hard to get photos of the guys, as every "evangelization team" seems to be arranged in boy-girl order. I have to crop a representative out.)









They have retreats, neighborhood missions, door to door evangelization, events in public parks, days of recollection, and Pro Life seminars.

The Nazarenes, Pentecostals, Mormons, and Jehovah's Witnesses are already knocking on your door. Make way for the Catholics?

But...but...in Roman Catholicism, salvation lies in the sacraments, in the mystery of the Eucharist, not in getting "right with God." Doesn't it?

Well, doesn't it?

Gulp.

They kneel to get right with God.

But...but...that's what Confession is for, isn't it?

They read the Bible, not The Little Flowers of St. Francis.

They testify about being persecuted for their pro-life views, just like Nazarenes testified about being persecuted for our refusal to go to movies or dances.





They talk about Jesus.  A lot.

This was part of a boy-girl-boy-girl photo spelling out "Jesus" in t-shirts.

Whatever happened to the Immaculate Conception of Mary Mother of God?

This looks like one of the weird games Nazarene youth played because they weren't allowed to go to movies, dance, listen to rock music, or play any game involving dice.

But...Catholics can do all of those things.

We had "abundant life ministries," and sang "if you want life, real life, wonderful life, let Jesus come into your heart."

Except we didn't illustrate the concept with a real human heart.

They raise their hands to indicate that they've been filled with the Spirit.

Where there is evangelicalism, there is homophobia, so as the Roman Catholics turn into Nazarenes, I predict that they will become increasingly ravenous in their anti-gay ideology.

Whose bright idea was it to turn Roman Catholics into Nazarenes, anyway?

And, in this brave new world, where do you go for quiet contemplation of the Divine?