Before I had a chance to give Attitude, she grabbed my hand. "I am Auntie Bopha. From Kampuchea. You say Cambodia."
I had never met anyone from Cambodia before. They speak an Austroasiatic language, similar to Thai, with a distinctive writing system. It wouldn't hurt to have a conversation. "Hi, I'm Boomer."
"You got job?"
What kind of cruise line was that? "Um..yes, I work for Muscle and Fitness, and I'm in grad school at USC, working toward my doctorate in..."
"Oh, muscle, good. And doctor, good, good! Cure AIDS, maybe?"
"No, I won't be that kind of..."
"Get AIDS test?"
"Yes, I'm HIV negative, but..."
"Like get drunk?"
"No, this is just soda, but...."
Her hand clamped onto my crotch. "Oh, big basket! Good, good, good!"
"What the heck are you doing?" I angrily pried her hand off and started to walk away.
She grabbed my arm. "Wait -- Auntie Bopha has a boy for you!" She pointed to the other side of the bar, where a slim Asian twink in a flowered shirt was staring at the floor. Black hair, golden skin, a beautiful angelic face.
The rest of the story, with uncensored photos, is on Tales of West Hollywood