Gemstones Episode 4.3, Continued: Vance is homophobic, Jesse is sad, and Kelvin is doomed. With Ryan, Vance, and Hamlet d*cks

 

 Link to the n*de dudes

Previous: Gemstones Episode 4.3: Keefe has s*ex with the Devil.  So does Eli.  With a pole dancer's d*ick and the Groundskeeper's bottom

In the first part of the episode, Kelvin has night terrors and a feeling of impending doom as his last safe place is destroyed, the siblings worry that Eli is schtupping Aimee-Leigh's best friend, and BJ (Tim Baltz, right)  falls on his head during a pole dancing contest.

Stuntman Ryan Mooney and his little friend is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

 BJ is.....: The family gathers at the hospital.  Everyone wonders why Eli and Lori arrived at the same time, suspecting that the two are having s*x.  Maybe focus on the crisis?

A doctor appears and tells Judy "I'm very sorry."  BJ isn't dead, but he's paralyzed, and will have to use a wheelchair.  Judy cries.  "What are we going to do?"

The Quail Hunt: Eli, Jesse, and some members of the Cape and Pistol Society in ridiculous floppy-hat uniforms shooting quail.  I don't see the significance of this scene, except to contrast with the Civil War scenes in the trailer.  

How Many Gay Gemstones? Cut to the Cape and Pistol headquarters, where a minister congratulates Jesse on his brother being nominated for Top Christ Following Man of the Year.   Rival megachurch pastor Vance Simkins (Stephen Dorff), one of the Season 3 antagonists, has also been nominated, and complains: "I guess your homosexual brother is the one with the juice nowadays." 

This doesn't upset Jesse, so Vance tries again.  "I heard your brother-in-law fell out of the sky...Word on the street is that he was stripping..how many homosexuals does that make in your family now?"

"Two," Jesse answers.  "The same number of dead parents in your family."

Wait -- he can't be agreeing that BJ is gay, so who is the second "homosexual"?  Keefe?  But he and Kelvin aren't married.  

Gideon?  Remember, Aimee-Leigh admitted Scotty to the family after his death, and Gideon hasn't expressed any interest in anyone since.  Maybe he's still in mourning.

Vance tries again: "You're losing in our rivalry due to your poor character."  You're not exactly a saint yourself, Vance Baby.   His churches have turned into bathrooms, "with that filth your brother's been preaching. It's what your church is becoming known for.  Does that bother you?"

Of course Kelvin's success bothers Jesse, but not for that reason, so he counters that he is succesful too.  And the ministers start to circle.

More after the break

The Nomination:  Kelvin and Keefe with the Prism group, waiting for the tv announcement of the Christ Following Man of the Year nominees.  He instructs his followers to pretend to be surprised.

Easter Egg: Steve Little from Danny McBride's other projects is the announcer.  

Jesse is Depressed: Jesse and Martin outside the Salvation Center, watching the prayer pods from his failed evangelization idea get shipped out. Martin consoles him: "Just because your brother is doing great things, you shouldn't feel bad."  

But Jesse does feel bad.   He goes into the warehouse and tries unsuccessfully to pray.

Meanwhile, Judy takes BJ from the hospital, has trouble helping him into the van, and yells at passersby because she thinks they are making fun of him. 

The Horror Show:  Family dinner at Jason's Steak House, except now it's a round table, so no one is at the head, and there's only room for the Gemstones and Milsaps, not the dozen or so outsiders invited in earlier seasons.  Jesse's children are not present.

Eli confirms that he and Lori are dating, and everything erupts in chaos. Corey, intensely upset, yells at his mom for falling in love "with everybody," and storms off.

The siblings start crying. Keefe tries to comfort Kelvin, calling him "Sweet Prince."  That's what Horatio called Hamlet as he was dying.  Gulp!

 "This is a horror show!" Judy exclaims. They rush out and go through the restaurant kitchen into the walk-in freezer to wail some more.  In Season 2, Eli was hooking up with anonymous women and Junior, and they weren't nearly this upset.  Why does it bother them so much? I thought they liked Lori.

Eli follows and tells them that he would give anything to get Aimee-Leigh back, but he can't.  He cries; they hug.  But they're still not happy with him dating Lori.

Kelvin is Doomed: Kelvin and Keefe inspect the treehouse.  When he was a kid, whenever Judy and Jesse were mean to him, he would come here and feel safe.  But now he knows that there's no safe place.  Anything can happen at any moment, like when God killed his mother.  

Gulp.  This is more stressful than the Season 3 breakup.

O, that this too, too solid flesh would melt, thaw and resolve itself into a dew!

Adam comforts Zac Efron in happier days, on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

Turning Your Back on Family: The siblings arrive at the satellite church across from Vance Simkin's church in the mini-mall. They're treated like celebrities, which of course they are.

Jesse begins his sermon, attempting to keep the congregants from defecting by pushing commitment, which will lead us to the Kingdom of Heaven, where we will be reunited with everyone we have loved and lost (like Aimee-Leigh).  When you join a Gemstone church, you're family, and "The Gemstones never turn their back on family."

Cut to Eli at the Aimee Leigh statue in the garden.  He turns his back on her and goes to find Lori.

Cut to Lori invading the Holy of Holies, a room full of Aimee-Leigh memorabilia.  Lori sneaks in, looking sinister, and puts on Aimee-Leigh's glasses.  Uh-oh, she's going to go psycho.  There's something is rotten in the state of Denmark.

And someone throws a bottle bomb into the Simkins church. It goes up in flames.  

The world is getting darker and darker, with portents of doom everywhere.  And notice all the enclosed spaces: Young Kelvin hiding under the table, the bathroom, the circling ministers, the walk-in-freezer. The Gemstones are trapped.  Especially the young Prince.

Left: John Austin Robertson as Hamlet in an all-male, all-n*de production.  

See also: Zac Efron's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 1: N*de photos of Adam Devine's bromantic partner

Stephen Dorff: Queer characters and d*cks 

Searching for Beefcake in Shakespeare's Hamlet