Blake McIver: The "musical" kid from "Full House" grows up, sings, snoots, shops, and shows us what's under Superman's cape

  

Link to the n*de photos

Full House (1987-95) was a TGIF sitcom set in an annoyingly gay-free San Francisco.  The premise: sportscaster Danny (Bob Saget) loses his wife (don't worry, it's a 1980s death, with no grief).  He can't take care of his three daughters on his own, so his friends Joey and Jesse (Dave Coulier, John Stamos) move in to help. 

I didn't watch -- in West Hollywood in the 1980s and 1990s, who was home on a Friday night?  But I recognize the iconic Full House house, 1709 Broderick Street, about two miles from the Castro, and I know that Mary-Kate and Ashley Olson, who played Danny's infant daughter Michelle, became pop culture icons, starring in a string of movies before starting their own fashion company.  

If you watched, you may have noticed Blake McIver Ewing, who played Derek, Michelle's "musical" friend and fellow thespian, during Seasons 6-8.  From the clips I watched while researching this profile, I gather that he is quite femme.  A contemporary blogger references "the blinding supernova of Derek's undeniable gayness," but on the show itself no one ever suspects.  Michelle's friend Lisa even asks him to the Big Valentine's Day Dance. 

The grown-up Blake's primary interest is music -- his IMDB biography effuses over its "wonderful power to be cohesive, moving, influential, emotive, subdued, deferential, caustic, achingly beautiful, full of character, simplistic, complex and/or virtually any other adjective one can think of."  Like overwritten?   He has 44 music credits and 15 composing credits on the IMDB, and nine songs available on Apple Music, including the gay anthems "It Gets Better" and "This is Who We Are."

He was recently cast in The Boy from Oz, a musical about the life of bisexual singer/songwriter Peter Allen.

But Blake also has 31 acting credits, beginning with the six-year old Ned, played as a grownup by Gabriel Olds, in Calendar Girl (1993) -- which everybody in West Hollywood went to because of the opportunity to gawk at the backsides of Gabriel and Jason Priestley, but not Jerry O'Connell, darn it.

Other than Derek, Blake is best known for playing Waldo Aloysius Johnston II in the Little Rascals movie (1994).  He sabotages the Big Go-Kart Race and steals the girlfriend of preteen Lothario Alfalfa (future homophobe Bug Hall).  Don't worry, she dumps him and returns to Alfalfa after discovering that he is a jerk.

More after the break

Corey Saucier: Texas model who got n*ked with Carrie Bradshaw, counseled a dying gay guy, and posted an adult video, sort of

  

Link to the n*de photos

I like guys who aren't very famous, where there's something to research.  Never heard of Corey Saucier, but there are two types of photos of him online:

1. Teen idol type

2. And sullen artistic model type.

Corey was born in 1988 in a suburb of Houston,  played basketball, football, and basketball in high school, and decided to become a model while at Texas State University.

This modeling photo is from 2008, when he was 20.  

According to his purple-prose bio at the Fort Agency, "Corey Saucier has shot with fittingly unique brands, such as Diesel and his handsome visage has posed for Gap, Tommy Hilfiger, Calvin Klein and Levis."

His handsome visage?  Come on, that sounds ridiculous. Visages don't pose.

He continues: “My style is a mixture of chic and rugged”

He has two acting roles listed on the IMDB, both, in 2022:

Shane in "Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered," Episode 1.8 of  And Just Like That, the update of S*x and the City.   I never saw the original, but I understand that it's about four ladies sitting around discussing s*x in a gay-free New York.  He isn't listed in the episode synopsis, but apparently he gets nekkid with, I think, Carey?

And Dr. Underwood in Spoiler Alert, about a gay couple (Jim Parsons, Kit Aldritch), one of whom is dying of cancer.  Why on Earth would anyone want to watch something like that?    I assume that Dr. Underwood is diagnosing him or whatever.

More after the break

Ted Prior: Man-mountain hero of the macho 1980s, Chippendale dancer, Playgirl model. Any gay content?

Link to the n*de photos

N*de photos of this guy have been sitting in my "to profile" file since March, and since I have some free time today (and my pageviews are down by about 70%)," I'll give him a try.

His name is Ted Prior.  He was active primarily during the 1980s Reagan-Bush era  man-mountain craze, when Stallone, Schwarzenegger, and a dozen lesser lights -- Chuck Norris, Reb Brown, Steven Seagal, Michael Pare -- stormed into POW camps and drug lord lairs, got tortured while shirtless, single-handedly defeated entire armies, and won The Girl, thus demonstrating the 

"supremacy" of white heterosexual  America.

Born in New Jersey in 1959 and raised in Baltimore, Ted originally planned to become a professional bodybuilder -- he states that he won Teenage Mr. Maryland and "ten other awards" before he turned 19.  He moved to Los Angeles, in fact, so he could train at Gold's Gym.

But he worked in theater, too, and once he hit L.A., a walk-on as a bodybuilder in an episode of The Incredible Hulk (1981) convinced him to try his hand at acting. His first starring roles were in  Sledgehammer (1983) and Killzone (1985), written and directed by his older brother David.

Most of Ted's work for the next twenty years would come from David's production company, Action International Pictures: Operation Warzone (1988), Jungle Assault (1989), The Final Sanction (1990), Raw Justice (1994).

Ted's most famous film, Deadly Prey (1987) is a sort of The Most Dangerous Game. People are being kidnapped and taken to a secret jungle enclave, where the evil Colonel Hogan (David Campbell) has his mercenaries hunt them down.  Vietnam Vet Mike (Ted) is grabbed while taking out the garbage, brought to the enclave, stripped, greased, gawked at, and forced to run naked through the jungle.  Uh-oh, they kidnapped the wrong guy.

He is shirtless throughout: a major draw of the film, as you can see from the VHS tape cover.

In November 2024, the Lyric Hyperion Theater in Silverlake, the second gay neighborhood in Los Angeles, held a "Deadly Prey" day, and promised Ted Prior "in the flesh," har har.

More after the break

John Stamos: From a gay-free San Francisco to a steamy shower scene (or two).

Gay boys all but ignored 20-year old John Stamos when he was playing streetwise Blackie on General Hospital (1983-84).  Not many watched soap operas, and his pleasantly slender physique seemed bit too androgynous as Nautilus-toned man-mountains came into style. Besides, he had a girlfriend.

Some started to notice when John starred as aspiring rock star Gino Minnelli on Dreams (1984-85), which aired after Charles in Charge on Wednesday nights.  It offered lots of shirtless shots -- by this time John had joined a gym -- plus buddy-bonding episodes like "Friends" and "Boys are the Best."  But it only lasted for 12 episodes.

After 25 episodes of You Again? (1986-87), playing Jack Klugman's estranged teenage son -- which was switched around so often that no one saw it -- John finally found television fame in Full House (1987-95) on the TGIF ("Thank God it's Friday") block of kid-friendly Friday-night shows. 

He played Uncle Jesse, who moved in with his brother-in-law Danny (Bob Saget) and another male friend, Dave (Joey Gladstone), to help raise Danny's three daughters after his wife died.  

Alternative families are a standby on tv, but aside from the basic non-heteronormative family structure -- and John's smile -- there was little to like.

He rarely took off a shirt -- when he did, the moments were mostly cute rather than hot. Only one episode showed him in a swimsuit.

 Nor did the friendships result in much buddy-bonding.  The guys all got girlfriends, and the daughters got boyfriends, and gay people were not mentioned, ever, even though the show was set in gay mecca San Francisco.  

More after the break

Luke Benward: Fried worms, Disney movies, Christian music, gay friends, an adult video, and a n*de Cameron Monaghan.

Link to the n*de Benward and Cameron

How to Eat Fried Worms (Thomas Rockwell, 1973) is one of the classic novels of my childhood: Billy brags that he can eat anything, so when his friend Alan offers him $50 to eat a worm a day for 15 days....  He can prepare them any way he wants, but Alan will provide the worms. The parents are in on the scheme, there is no bullying involved, each of the boys has a buddy-bonding best friend, and the only girl is Billy's sister.  No one wins the Girl of His Dreams.

 Remembering the buddy-bonds and the absence of the heterosexist trajectory, I eagerly tuned in to the Disney Channel version (2006).  But now Billy (Luke Benward) is confronted by a gang of  bullies led by Joe (Adam Hicks), he joins a group of friend instead of a special buddy, and there is a Girl of His Dreams.  

A rather disappointing start to Luke Benward's career.  Let's see if he has redeemed himself since with some gay roles.

According to the IMDB, Luke was born in 1995 in Franklin, Tennesse.  

He first appeared on screen playing Mel Gibson's son in We Were Soldiers (2002).  

The infamous homophobe Mel Gibson?  That's even worse. 

After roles in the revamped Family Affair (2002) and Because of Winn-Dixie (2005), Luke hit Disney gold with Fried Worms (2006).  

His Disney stardom assured, he continued with Mostly Ghostly (2007): A shy boy (Sterling Beaumon) encounters a ghost boy (Luke) and his sister, who has a crush on him.  He must figure out how they died before it's too late, and win the Girl of His Dreams. 

Left: Luke and Sterling Beamon strangling Miles Heizer.  Neither has actually worked with Miles Heizer.  Maybe they're friends?

Minutemen (2008): A teen nerd (Luke), his buddy, and the Girl Next Door become time travelers, allowing him to best the obnoxious jock who is dating the Girl of His Dreams. Guess who he ends up with.

Dog Gone (2008): A boy (Luke) rescues a dog from bumbling thieves, bests the school bully (Cameron Monaghan, on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends),  and wins the Girl of His Dreams.

Things are not looking good for you, Luke Baby.

Let's skip past Girl v Monster and Zombies and Cheerleaders to Luke's first major tv role in Good Luck Charlie (2013).  Charlie is a girl, not a boy, and she doesn't bring good luck; she is merely the subject of a video diary filmed by her father.  Luke plays Beau Landry, an employee at Bob's Bugs Be Gone who meets, falls in love with, and eventually becomes the boyfriend of Teddy (another girl.  What's with this show?).

Ok, what about Ravenswood (2013-14), a teen mystery series featuring dark secrets in a small town?  Luke plays Dillon Sanders, who is dating focus character Olivia but is secretly plotting to prevent her from discovering the dark secrets.  Oh, and he kills her father.  That sort of ends the relationship.

Cloud 9 (2014): A snowboarder and her obnoxious boyfriend are trained by snowboarding great Will Cloud (Luke).  The boyfriend gets dumped, and...well you know the rest.

Measure of a Man (2018): Dude gets a girlfriend.

Life of the Party (2018): Middle-aged Deanna, dumped by her husband, returns to college, and has s*x with a fratboy (Luke), who becomes obsessed with her.  Guess what?  He's the son of the woman Deanna was dumped for. 

I'm tired of this.  Let's see what else Luke has been up to.

He's done some music, such as the theme song for Cloud 9, and he has appeared in the music videos of several other artists, including Martina McBride and Jason Aldean.  

Wait -- he's the son of Christian country-western singer Aaron Benward, shown here with his boyfriend...um, I mean singing partner Scott Reeves -- and the grandson of Christian music producer Jeoffrey Benward.  They have won Dove Awards, and Jeoffrey was inducted into Christian Music Hall of Fame.  Why didn't anyone tell me this before?  Luke Baby is too fundamentalist to play a gay character, and if he's gay in real life, he's got to be extremely closeted.

According to the Who's Dated Who website, Luke has been in relationships with several women, and is currently dating Ariel Winter (Alex Dumphy on Modern Family).  You know there were gay characters on that show, right?

Luke's Instagram is confusing: Very few photos of Ariel or any girlfriend, a lot of guy-hugging, almost as if he's trying to fool you into thinking that he's gay.  Won't work, dude. 

Plus he's buddies with the gay Miles Heizer, and that adult video (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) looks a lot like it's aimed at a guy...

See also:Shane Harper: the "Good Luck Charlie" and "God's Not Dead" guy shows his stuff surprisingly often

Miles Heizer: Gay and nearly-gay roles, a real-life girlfriend and several boyfriends, plus Guy's Bar

"Blue Ridge" Episode 1.3: A wrestling promoter is murdered at a high school in the Hills. With lots of beefy suspects and Michael O'Hearn

Riley Polanski: From Xanadu to Silverlake, with n*de photos and a bonus Michael J. Fox

Link to the n*de dudes

Riley Polanski was born in Pomona, California in 2000, and started acting when he was 10 years old: the Western 6- Guns (2010),  starring 1980s staples Barry Van Dyke and Greg Evigan; Airline Disaster (2011), starring former Family Ties cast members Meredith Baxter-Birney and Scott Valentine; Baseball, Dennis, & the French (2011). 

The first celebrity I met when I moved to Los Angeles was Michael J. Fox, who played Alex on "Family Ties."  We just had lunch, but I told my friends that it was a date. 

When he was a teenager, Riley had to put his career on hold due to "family illness." 

He still performed, in Mulan at the Claremont United Methodist Church (2015) and Xanadu at Claremont High School (2017), and he won second place at the California State Thesbian Festival.

He graduated from Claremont High in 2018 and enrolled in Pasadena City College.  During the next two years, Riley worked as a production assistant on You're the Worst, with Stephen Schneider, and did a lot of acting, primarily in student films:

Worthless Words (USC): "A world where your words are controlled."

The Cup (St. Mary's University MFA): Two aspiring actors encounter a 1920s flapper.

Paz (Chapman University MFA): A troubled girl finds strength in a spiritual connection.

Alice In/Somnia (2020): a girl in a surreal waiting room has to deal with bureacracy.

We also see a selfie, taken with a camera rather than a cell phone.

 After receiving his A.A. from Pasadena City College in 2020, Riley enrolled in Arizona State University, but after a year he dropped out and returned to Los Angeles. 

He moved to the Silverlake, a gay neighborhood for older guys (as opposed to the twinks of West Hollywood), edited a magazine about the neighborhood, and worked at the Little Pine Restaurant and Starbucks.

His last film credit is in Ashes (2022): "an unlikely human connection complicates a soldier's understanding of freedom." Riley offers Levi Bernhart (left) a cigarette.

In 2024 Riley starts a musical group which specializes in Shadow Pop. He has nine songs available on Spotify, some with 22,000 streams.  I watched two of his music videos.

The full profile, with n*de photos, is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

See also: My Date with Michael J. Fox. Plus Marcus and the Scary Bulgarian Bodybuilder.

My date with Michael J. Fox. With Marcus and the Scary Bulgarian Bodybuilder

Link to the n*de dudes.

Friday, July 5th:  Two days after I arrive in West Hollywood from my horrible year in Hell-fer-Sartain, Texas, I am sitting in the human resources department at Paramount Studios, waiting to interview for a job as an administrative assistant, when Marcus comes in to drop something off.  He's my age, African-American, with very light skin, freckles, and a hairy chest.  I get his phone number.

You're probably wondering how I got a job interview two days after arriving, when one of those days was a federal holiday.  I had been applying for jobs for weeks, using my friend Tom's address and telephone number.

Saturday, July 6th: Our date, an inside tour of Paramount Studios (yes, we see more stuff), followed by cruising at the Gold Coast and dinner at the French Quarter in West Hollywood.  He came to Los Angeles to become an actor five years ago, and has had some guest spots in tv shows and movies.

"Do you know anyone famous?" I ask with tourist zeal.

"Nobody really famous.  I mean, some guys on tv.  Robin Williams.  Tom Hulce.  I know Michael J. Fox from acting class."

I'm not impressed.  I've barely heard of Michael J. Fox -- he plays Alex P. Keaton, Reagan-loving son of liberal hippie parents on the sitcom Family Ties (1982-1989),  But I've only seen the show a few times.

Back to the Future, which will propel Michael to fame, premiered on July 3rd, but I haven't heard of it.

Marcus and I don't have any romantic sparks, so no more dating.  But we stay friends (that's how you made friends in West Hollywood).

Wednesday, July 10th: I start working at Muscle and Fitness, two days a week as a "contributing editor," aka gopher.  

Wednesday, July 17th: I meet Ivo, a stringer for the magazine, about 30 years old, a Bulgarian bodybuilder, with short brown hair, a boyish open face, massive shoulders, and slates for abs.

Saturday, July 20th: My first date with Ivo.  I'm curious about Back to the Future, the new time travel comedy starring Michael J. Fox.

"No way, man!" Ivo exclaims.  "That Mike Fox thinks he's a big deal, but he's terrible under the covers.  They should call him Princess Teeny-Tiny!"

Weird coincidence!  I think.  I've been in town less than a month, and already I've met two people who know Michael J. Fox, and one of them is his ex-boyfriend!

Sunday, July 21st: I have brunch with Marcus at the French Quarter, and tell him about my date.

"Strange," he says.  "I'm completely out to Mike, and he's never said anything about being gay.  Sounds like Ivo is one of these celebrity name-droppers who claims to have been with everyone from Harrison Ford to Arnold Schwarzeneggar."

"But he wasn't bragging.  He got upset.  He said Michael was bad in bed and should be called Princess Teeny-Tiny."

Marcus laughs.  "Well, I don't have any information on Mike beneath the belt.  But tell you what -- he's in London right now.  When he gets back, we'll all get together, and you can ask him yourself."

Ask Michael J. Fox about his size?  I don't think so!  But it would be fun to meet him.

Left: This is Bulgarian bodybuilder Radoslav Angelov, not Ivo.

I date Ivo three or four more times, but his stories become more and more bizarre.

His father was the Bulgarian ambassador; he used to hang out at the White House.  

He has a degree in economics from Harvard, but turned down a professorship because he wanted to be a writer. When he returned to Bulgaria to help his cousin, he was arrested and imprisoned for six months. He has a book on his experiences coming out next year.  

Paramount is producing his screenplay about a college student who discovers that he is half-alien.  Scott Baio will be the star. They dated for awhile.

Saturday, August 3rd:  Marcus and I see Back to the Future.  I'm not impressed with the heteronormative plotline.  But -- Michael is back in town.  Could we schedule that lunch for next Saturday?

Monday, August 5th: Ivo has me over for dinner.  While he is chopping celery, I tell him about the lunch.  He freezes, and his face turns bright red.  "Can't you ever talk about anything but Michael J. Fox?  Day after day, hour after hour, nothing but Michael J. Fox!  And now you have a date with him!"

I try to remember when I last mentioned him. "No, no, it's just a lunch.  Marcus is coming, too."

"Bah!  If you love him so much, why don't you move in with him?"

"It's just..."

"F** Mike Fox, always stealing everybody's boyfriends!  Well, let me tell you what happened to the last guy Mike Fox stole from me!"  He stabs the air with his knife.

I am shocked -- and terrified.  Ivo is twice as strong as me, and carrying a weapon. "Fox sounds like a real jerk!" I tell him.  "I'm definitely cancelling that lunch!  Um...you know what?  I forgot to bring in the dessert -- there's a peach pie in the car.   I'll just go get it." 

 I clatter out the door and down the stairs.  

Thursday, August 8th: He comes into the editorial office at Muscle and Fitness to drop off a story, and pretends not to know me.

Saturday, August 10th: The promised lunch with Marcus and Michael.

The full story, with n*de photos and ex*plicit situations, is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

See also: Hung Harvey: I hook up with the boyfriend of Sabrina the Teenage Witch

A date with Kris (who may not be Jeremy Renner's boyfriend) leads to Christopher Atkins' dick

Riley Polanski: From "Xanadu" to "Ashes," with bonus Michael J. Fox

Gemstones Episode 4.3: Keefe does stuff with the Devil. So does Eli. With a pole dancer's d* ck and the Groundskeeper's backside

Link to the d*cks 

Previous: Gemstones Episode 4.2, Continued: Pontius' private parts, Gideon's b*utt buddy, and JR's junk.  Plus Karen from "Will and Grace" sings

Title: "To Grieve Like the Rest of Men Who Have No Hope," 1 Thessalonians 4.13.  Paul is telling his followers not to grieve "like men who have no hope," since they will see their loved ones again in heaven.

The Intruder: 2002.  During a thunderstorm, an intruder breaks into the house, smashes a photo of Eli and Aimee-Leigh and some other memorabilia, and takes the gold-plated Bible from the Civil War.  Close up of a destroyed framed magazine cover promising "Hot Gossip" and featuring Brendan Fraser.

The intruder continues into the playroom and smashes a photo of the siblings and Kelvin's army men.  There's a muscle man in skimpy underwear, denoting that Kelvin is gay.

He lifts up the bed to find a hiding 12-year old Kelvin, who screams.  Notice the enclosed space. They will appear often in the episode, giving the viewer a sense of disquiet. The family is trapped.

Night Sweats: Kelvin awakens screaming from a nightmare.   Keefe notes that his nocturnal terrors and night sweats are getting worse, and uses a towel to daub him, but Kelvin insists that it was just a nightmare, and goes back to sleep. I'm worried about the night sweats, but surely they don't mean that Kelvin is sick.  

Doing Stuff with the Devil, Part 1: Kelvin hates storms; it's like the Devil is doing his business on you.  Keefe agrees, with a amazing monologue about the Devil pouring down his TT on people, who think it's a wine cooler or kombucha, and drink it.   He looks out into the storm and says "Your hot sorcery p* can't hurt us in here. Begone, Devil"  but the Dark Lord is already inside: Keefe has a no-hands org*asm. 

More after the break

Is the gay ghost couple on Disney's "Ghost and Molly McGee" enough? With Vincent Rodriguez III

I try to review all of the Disney Channel shows for LGBTQ representation, but I skipped over The Ghost and Molly McPhee (2021, 2023, 2024) because it was reminiscent of The Ghost and Mrs. Muir (1968-70),  about a middle-aged widow who falls in love with the ghost of a sea captain.  Who wants to watch a show about a ghost-human hetero-romance?

I didn't even realize that the actual title is The Ghost and Molly McGee. 

But it turns out that the ghost and Molly are just friends.  And there's a ghost gay couple.

The premise: when 13-year old Molly McGee moves into a haunted house, grumpy ghost Scratch (Dana Snyder) is assigned to haunt her, but he accidentally binds their souls together for all eternity.  After some initial fussing, they become best friends, and Scratch rebels against the ghost mandate to make human lives miserable, causing friction with the Ghost Council.

Researching this show is difficult, since the voice actors have extremely common names.  Google lists over 20 Dana Schneiders and Snyders: the senior vice president at a realty company, the senior talent acquisition partner at a university, a jeweler, a "producer and creative with a passion for visual storytelling," a rugby coach, a wife and mom, an opthamologist. I think this is the right one.

The plotlines involve both Other Realm and standard middle-school problems.  Molly has a best friend, a Mean Girl frenemy, a bratty little brother, and a boyfriend (Alan Lee), who happens to be an anti-ghost paranormal researcher. 

Another extremely common name. Facebook lists over 50 Alan Lees, including a hospital president, a Cajun Zen Monk, a magician, the director of a choral music society, and a lot of "husband and fathers."  

More after the break. 

Josh Jones #31: "Modern Family" clerk, Pentecostal prophet, Actor for Christ, Dracula. With Jones junk and Broderick backside

We're watching Modern Family in order as a comfort show in trying times.  In Episode 4.12, "Mistery Date," (November 15, 2012), Phil rewires the house while everyone else is gone, and announces that he has been transported to the distant year 2025 (this year!).  

"Go back to 2012!" we both yell at the screen. 

Wasn't 2012 great?  The Middle (Axl in underwear -- sigh), Suburgatory, Raising Hope (Jimmy with his shirt off -- sigh).

Magic Mike, Pitch Perfect (Adam Devine, sigh), Paranorman (first gay character in a kids' movie).

I was teaching at a small private college with exquisite architecture and a view of the Susquehannah River, winning 5-k races, benching 185, going to gay parties, and publishing regularly. 

Barack Obama was elected to a second term.

Sigh.  Back to Modern Family:  Mitchell (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) goes with his gruff, macho father Jay to buy a giant crib for the upcoming baby.  When the clerk (Josh Jones) asks if he wants to have it assembled, he says no, Dad is macho, and has to do everything himself.  

What about help getting it to the car?  No, Dad is too macho for that, also.  But the Clerk glances over and sees Jay asking for a hug from the store mascot, the Hug-a-Bunny.  Okaaay

That's all, three lines.  But Josh is cute (or was, in 2012), and shorter than Jesse Tyler Ferguson at 5'10", so a member of the Short Guy Brigade. 

In the other plotline, Phil works out at his brother-in-law Cam's gym and accidentally makes a hookup date with Dave (Matthew Broderick), who just had a bad breakup.  They go home and take their shirts off (for non-hookup reasons), but Dave decides that he isn't ready, kisses the still-oblivious Phil, and leaves.  Dude, you went to a gay gym.  What did you expect?

But everybody knows everything about Matthew Broderick already, and Josh Jones will present a research challenge: there are thousands of people named Josh Jones, including many actors, writers, and comedians (our Josh is #31 on the IMDB).

The IMDB: No biographical information, and only four acting roles:

The "Mistery Date" episode of Modern Family (2012).

The Ladder (2013), a short: a teenage boy "teeming with hormones" carries a ladder across town to reach The Girl's window..  Heteronormative! Yuck!  Josh plays a soccer player.

Film Permit Police (2015): I guess it's a tv series about policing people who film without a permit.  Corey Martin Craig plays a Hipster Filmmaker.  Josh plays a permit violator.

We Live Baby (2020): "Summer is faking nice on Live."  I have no idea -- are those people or is a season faking on life?   Josh plays a Stranger.

Additional research led to a few dead ends (no, our Josh is not a British comedian, a rapper, the offensive tackle for the Seattle Seahawks, a professional fisherman, or a star of Dancing on the Ice).  But I finally found of some of our Josh's social media.

Facebook: Nine photos, all headshots, and no biographical information.  Posts are about his auditions; he didn't make The Book of Mormon, but he made it into Dracula. 

And a quote from Nehemiah 9.8.  Uh-oh, fundamentalist.  But why Nehemiah?  I don't think I ever heard the minor prophet used as sermon fodder in 20 years as a Nazarene.   

Backstage:

He attended Biola University (2005-2010), a fundamentalist college about 10 miles from Anaheim, California, and got his degree in music.  While in college, he sang Second Tenor in Carmina Burana and Bach's Magnificat (figures).

In addition to his tv and films, Josh has some theater credits: Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, Dracula, Willy Wonka, The Music Man, Inside the Box, Bridge of Blood, Carmen, and The Magic Flute.

Bridge of Blood is not what you think: it's about Jim Elliott being massacred...um, martyred..when he was trying to bring God's Word to the Auca Indians of Peru in 1973.

More after the break

I Hate" "I Hate Kids": Transphobia, Camp,and an Endless Parade of Ladies

I grew up with the "wife and kids" mantra being pushed at me over and over every day.  When I moved to West Hollywood, it ended; gay men simply didn't have kids, period. Out of the question.  

Now it's back.  Most of the twinks I hook up with expect "marriage and children" in their future. I run away.

So I Hate Kids, on Amazon Prime, had an appealing title.  And the star was the Tituss Burgess, the flamboyantly out Titus from The Umbreakable Kimmie Schmidt, so there was obviously a gay presence.

Scene 1: Establishing shot of L.A., and the morning radio program. A bad psychic named the Amazing Fabular (Tituss) is conning people.  Suddenly he has a real vision and says the name "Mason."

Scene 2: The wealthy, elite Nick (Tom Everett Scott) drops his car off and enters an elite club.  A fan wants him to sign a copy of his best-selling book, I Hate Kids   Suggesting that some people might not want to have kids!  Controversial!  Genius!  But the fan has kids....

Kid-Hating Nick goes to a fancy dinner and smooches his Girlfriend, Syd.   It's a wedding reception or pre-wedding dinner or something. A heterosexual who doesn't want kids?   I figured he was gay.

Scene 3:  A nerdy teen or young adult arrives.  Mason, no doubt.  He crashes the party and announces that Kid-Hating Nick is his dad.  I saw that one coming from the blurb.

Kid-Hating Nick doesn't believe it, but the Amazing Fabular shows up to explain his psychic vision, backed up by a DNA test.

Scene 4: The rehearsal dinner is over.  Girlfriend Syd and her Friend are angry with Nick over his "prank."   Girlfriend and Kid-Hating Nick spend more time kissing than talking.  Every sentence begins and ends with a kiss.  It's nauseating.

Later, Kid-Hating Nick meets with the Amazing Fabular, who explain how they got a sample for the DNA test, in boring detail.

 Nick is upset; having a kid will ruin his brand.  Plus the Girlfriend doesn't want kids.  So?  Nerdy Mason is an adult; she won't be actually raising him.

Nerdy Mason's goal: his elderly foster mother is being moved into a nursing home, so he needs to find his biological mother to avoid being put into foster care.  Ok, Nick agrees to help.  But he's slept with 23,000 women.  It will take some research.

Whoa, Mason is 13! I was guessing mid-20s.  Actor Julin Feder doesn't have a birth date listed on IMDB, but he's obviously a grown-up.

Scene 5: Kid-Hating Nick tells Syd and Kelly that he got asked to lecture at a college at the last minute.  Then he meets with the guys with the list of every woman he slept with 14 years ago. Lots!  They'll of course have to take a road trip to interview each of them.  Or -- make some phone calls?

Scene 6: The first potential mom: Carla, who is eager for the opportunity to punch Kid-Hating Nick (saw that one coming).

Later, the Amazing Fabular asks Kid-Hating Nick why he's such a mess, a steaming cloud of bitterness (wild guess: no kids?).    Nick wonders what Fabular's angle is.  Why does he care so much? (wild guess: no kids, so he wants to father Nerdy Mason?)

Scene 7: Next potential mom: Janice, who has a houseful of mannikins she thinks are real.  Gulp. Isn't this the same plotline as Season 3 of Bojack Horseman?

Scene 8: A montage of several potential moms slamming doors in their faces.  Meanwhile, Girlfriend is getting fitted for a wedding gown.  Her Friend has been snooping around, and finds out that Kid-Hating Nick lied about the last-minute lecture, in order to go on a road trip involving a lot of women.

Scene 9:  Next potential mom:  Winny, who has come out as transgender, and is now named Freddy.  They're all shocked.  Transphobic?  He states that the day after he slept with Nick, he went out and had the surgery.  That's not at all the way it works, idiots.  Sex confirmation surgery comes at the end of a long process.  You have to be living as a member of your transition sex for years. 

Scene 10:  Nick, the Amazing Fabular, and Nerdy Marson are getting tired and frustrated (so am I, actually)

They are pulled over for speeding,  Nerdy Mason talks his way out of a ticket.

Meanwhile, Girlfriend snoops around, and finds out that Kid-Hating Nick is visiting his ex-girlfriends (and one-night stands and hour-long hookups). 

Scene 11: Next potential Mom -- yawn -- Christine.  How are they visiting all these people on the same day in L.A. traffic?  How are they all home?  Why do they still in L.A....

Potential Mom Christine is a fast-talking, hard-driven career woman who built an empire because she can't have kids.  You heard it here, ladies -- kids or career. Pick one.

Meanwhile, Girlfriend's Friend is going into labor.

Scene 12:  Next potential Mom: Schyler, a martial arts instructor.  He narrowed the list down to one month, right?  I don't have sex with that many people in a month, and I go to sex parties.

Turns out that Schyler knows the Amazing Fabular, and relates that his job involves "bilking old ladies out of their checking accounts."  Please tell me that the Amazing Fabular wasn't sleeping with those ladies!  His gayness is the only thing keeping me slogging through.

The Amazing Fabular confesses to Kid-Hating Nick that he is, in fact, a con artist (what a surprise!), but his vision of Nerdy Mason was a real, authentic psychic experience.  He wants to help Mason because it will give him a chance at redemption.  

Nick is not sympathetic, and tells him to get lost.

Scene 13:  They finally find Mason's biological mom:  Crass, a smoker, a drunk, with a dirty house and a  bunch of rowdy kids.  No way will Nick leave Mason with her!

Nick leaves Mason with her!

Scene 14:  Back home, Girlfriend Syd wants to call off the wedding because she decided she wants kids after all.  No problem -- Kid-Hating Nick wants kids now, too, and he knows where they can get one!  They drive out to retrieve Nerdy Nick from his horrible biological mother -- but he's run away! Wouldn't you?

Scene 15:  The Amazing Fabular is giving a speech.  Kid-Hating Nick and the Girlfriend ask him to use his psychic powers to find Mason. 

"He's right behind you."

The end.

Beefcake:  No.  An endless parade of middle-aged women, but no middle aged men.  No partners around for any of the ex-girlfriends.  Kelly is pregnant with no partner around.

Here's Johnny Visotcky from the very bottom of the cast list.

Gay characters:  Fabular is flamboyant and campy, but doesn't say or do anything indicating gay identity.  Mason doesn't express any heterosexual interests.

Transphobia:  Yes.

Moral:  Everybody should have kids.

My Grade:  I'm too bored to bother.