Feb 24, 2020

Are Muscles Sexy or Dangerous?

Do you want to kiss this guy or beat him up?

Today I was on the treadmill at the gym, flipping through the channels, when I came across Mark Wahlberg with his shirt off -- always a reason to stop and gawk.  He was talking to a male-female couple, who tell him the various problems they've had on a night out.  Now they just want to go home, and they need his help.

I think the movie was Daddy's Home (2015), with Mark Wahlberg playing the ex-husband who moves in with Sarah (Linda Cardellini) and her new husband Brad (Will Ferrell).

Brad pleads with Mark.  "You're a decent human being," he says, "But your pecs make me want to kill you."

Huh?





What is going on?  Pecs make you want to smile at him, kiss him, go down on him -- but kill him?

Is this the standard heterosexual man's response to muscles, a violent rage?

I've been around bodybuilders and gym rats for most of my life.  I worked for a bodybuilding magazine.  Muscles were, if not desired, then at least admired, regardlss of sexual orientation.

Of course, that was among fitness enthusiasts.  What about the straight man on the street?










Later I was talking to a former student online, a straight guy, and mentioned that I bench press 300 pounds.  He replied, "I can probably bench press about 150, but I generally go for the knees, groin, and face anyway."

It took me awhile to understand what he meant:

"I can't bench press as much as you, but I can still handle myself in a fight."

He completely misunderstood what I meant.  I mentioned my weight training statistics as an indicator of my ongoing physical attractiveness.  He thought I had mentioned them as an indicator of my fighting prowess.







To gay men, this guy is sexy.  To straight men, he is a threat.















I don't get it.  This guy is not the least threatening.  He's smiling, happy, open.  He looks like a cuddler.  I can understand not wanting to kiss him, sort of, but wanting to punch him?

Such a huge gap in worldview is disheartening.


7 comments:

  1. Edith Massey said it best: "The World of the Heterosexual is a sick and boring life!"

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    Replies
    1. It must be very stressful to think of every muscular guy as a potential threat

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  2. Perhaps some of our straight brothers feel insecure about their own masculinity when they see a muscle bound dude. there is the old school mentality of can I beat this guy at a fight- of course big size does not mean you are a btter fighter look at Bruce Lee

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    Replies
    1. Something like that. I mean, it all depends. The straight guys I know are more likely to say "nice arms" or similar. (This even a applies to the one body part that doesn't grow with exercise, at least where they can see it.)

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  3. But what if I really like wrestling?

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  4. In the context of the film: The present husband is afraid the ex can win back his wife with his looks. You can expect Will Ferrell to bring that in a hilarious way. In general it is possible that there is some animosity when the muscles are displaid with an air of "Look at me, I have enough time, energy and money to pump up my body" or "Look, I'm not sad and weak at all". But I consider extremely bloated muscles as less sad than tattoos (invoking the power or reputation of Maori warriors or Yakuza criminals) or big cars or weapons ("virtual penis-extensions"). Perhaps the combination of muscles and a dark skin can lead to fear in some people? But that is not the fault of the muscles, is it?

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    Replies
    1. Addition: Perhaps this is the reason: Some men (and teenagers) use anabolic steroids to grow their muscles. That stuff can cause aggression. So the prejudice becomes "all men with big muscles are aggressive".

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