Netflix started me on a tv show without my permission. I watched for five minutes before realizing that it was about friggin' horses. Movies about horses always, 100% of the time, involve the animal dying, or even worse, being put down, while its friggin' owner sobs and sobs and tries to explain to the animal why it has to die. F*ck the Sadness. I need a comedy, stat.
The only comedy in the Top Ten 10 Shows in the U.S. this week is Geek Girl. I don't even care are if it's heternormative. As long as no people, horses, or dogs have deathbed scenes, We'll start with the first episode.
Scene 1: The Geek Girl, Harriet, narrates. She is extremely famous, being photographed on a runway for "Bascar" fashions, but miserable. She never wanted to be a model. She wanted to be invisible, like everybody else, but now that's impossible.
Whoops, she flashes back to high school, where she trips and falls, and everyone laughs and takes pictures so they can make fun of her with their friends later.
Scene 2: High school Harriet explains that she is a geek, which a dictionary shot defines as "someone who is excessively interested in something." Then she beats herself up for owning a dictionary. I own several, but I haven't actually looked up a word in one for a long time.
On to soccer practice, where she is getting laughed at for her terrible playing and terrible fashion sense.
Scene 3: Harriet shows us her school -- elegant/British, where she tries to fit in but is always laughed at. We meet her best friend Nat, a girl, who has a horrible fashion sense yet wants to become a model.
Next Harriet is praised by the headmaster, which results in more bullying, of course. But don't worry "My life is about to change."
Scene 4: Morning. Harriet goes downstairs to criticize her parents for smooching.
Down in the yard, her bud Toby (Zac Looker) is practicing his routine as a time-traveling Arthurian knight. Could he be a gay best friend? No such luck -- he tries to flilrt with Harriet's friend Nat, a girl, but she rejects him -- another crush that's unrequited as she moons over some jock, but in the last scene realizes that she has been in love with him all along.
The gang. Toby on the right. Harriet on the left, dressed like a good witch, and Nat in the middle, dressed like aa gay gremlin. They're not on their way to a Renaissance Faire.
Scene 5: At the bus to take them to the big event. Toby arrives first, and gets laughed at a bully named Olives, who seems to be the boyfriend of the head Mean Girl.
Sorry, it's two bullies sharing a brain, so they're called "Olives" collectively or in British slang. The boy is Oliver, played by James Craven.
Harriet arrives late. No one will let her sit with them. She falls, and gets laughed at and photographed. Um...incessant ridicule isn't funny. Why isn't the teacher intervening? There's bullying training nowadays, you know.
But on the bright side, I guess, jerks Harriet and Nat ridicule and laugh at Toby. It's bullies all the way down.
Scene 6: They're going on a field trip to London Fashion Week, where Nat hopes to be discovered by a big modeling agent.
While Nat goes off to use the loo, Harriet is mesmerized by the Boy of Her Dreams. He is surrounded by an army of assistants, reporters, and groupies, he gazes in love-at-first-sight ardour, and keeps trying to turn back and look some more. Finally, the Girl of His Dreams!
But who is he? Maybe the model in the ten-foot tall photograph advertising the "New Gen Showcase"?
Scene 7: The Boy of Her Dreams is not listed in the episode cast on the IMDB, and wikipedia just lists the book series -- there's an entire book series!. I finally found him in the complete cast and crew list: Nick, playd by Liam Woodrum. He and his swishy friend Wilbur, the fashion scout who discovered him, head into makeup.
Wilbur wants to know why he's depressed. Well, wouldn't you be if you just saw the Girl of Your Dreams, the only person in all the world who will fill your life with ecstasy, without whom you'll be miserable forever, but she's lost in the crowd at Fashion Week, and you'll never see her again?
More after the break
Scene 8: Next Swishy Fashion Scout Wilbur and his assistant Betty head out into the audience -- other than fashion journalists, the only people who come to Fashion Week are wannabe models hoping to be discovered, so it's a perfect place to scope out the next superstars. Cut to Harriet, being overwhelmed by the lights and noise. Sounds like she's neurodivergent. Maybe modeling is not the best career choice.
The showrunners state that they have been more forthcoming about Harriet's autism, which was just hinted in the book series.
Whoops, Wilbur sees her. "That redhead is perfect! Alien superstar vibes! Let's grab her before someone else does!" But as he rushes over to introduce himself, she finds a place to hide!
Nat rushes up, hoping to be discovered, not realizing that he is looking for Harriet. He rejects her: beauty is not enough for modeling. You need a special superstar quality.
Scene 9: The fashion show starts: it's awful! A lady with tentacles like an octopus. A guy with a medusa-head.
Still trying to be invisible and not draw attention to herself, Harriet stumbles into some models' wigs, knocks over some displays, and stops the show! Everyone laughs except fashion scout Wilbur and Betty, who ask if she is ok and whisk her backstage to calm down.
Harriet thinks that she's being arrested and tries to call her parents, but they won't pick up. Wilbur tells her that she's been discovered: she's going to be a super-model! If she signs on with his agency, of course. They offer a competitive salary and benefits package, photo rights deals, wardrobe, etc., etc.
Be a model? Lights and crowds? Absolutely not!
Scene 10: Harriet runs out and has a meet-cute with Nick, the supermodel. He wants to know if she's ok from before.
Hanging out with the Boy of Her Dreams? Maybe this modeling business won't be so bad, after all. The end.
Beefcake: Not a snip.Gay Characters: The swishy scout, Wilbur. He is never shown with a boyfriend, but in Episode 7, Nick asks him for dating advice: "How did you know that Mark was the one?"
My Grade: C
Bonus: James Cravan's previous work includes a guest spot on How to Be A Person, 85 episodes of Coronation Street, and a short where he plays the gay poet Rimbaud. This is the only beefcake photo I could find, and he seems a bit young.
And James Murray, whom you know from Cucumber, appears in three episodes as Mr. Fiennes, a fashion designer who becomes one of Harriet's supporters.
See also: Cucumber: Lots of dicks on display as gay life in the Midlands goes dark
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