December 25th, so time for one more Christmas romcom before they vanish. I'm looking for one with a hidden gay character. Unfortunately, they all look the same: the same magazine-cover man and woman hugging, or sometimes two men gazing at the same woman, with a plot about finding love while saving something.
1. The icon of The Good Witch of Christmas, 2022, has a woman with two kids, two men who aren't gazing at her, and Santa Claus, so let's give that one a try.
Trailer first: A heterosexual couple asks a gay couple (Tom Arnold, William Baldwin) to take care of their kids while they go Christmas shopping. Whoops, the hetero couple crashes into Santa Claus, and a goofy witch knocks on the gay couple's door to teach them the meaning of Christmas. I don't see the connection.
Is there any possibility that the guys are not a gay couple, like brothers or something? I thought the actors were both homophobic.
I can't find a plot synopsis, so here goes.
Scene 1: The kids are talking about Christmas as Mom and Dad lead them into a horrible industrial building. "He lives here?" The apartment is clutted with kitchy stuff and Christmas decorations and a flag with red, orange, white, and blue stripes -- not a U.S. flag. The guys are arguing about whether they need an escape hatch and whether they should answer the door.
Frank points out that they're not thieves anymore, but Tony counters that they still need a lookout, which has been his job for 15 years.
The family comes in. Frank introduces them to Tony, and they call him "Uncle Tony." But if they've been together 15 years, surely the kids would know them by now.
They make the request. Tony offers to teach the kids how to hot-wire a car, but Frank insists that they will show them some "old fashioned Christmas cheer." He puts his arm around Tony's shoulders.
Tony starts telling a story: "One night we're in Vegas, we pick up a couple of ladies..."
They're heterosexual life partners! Next!
2. Under the Christmas Tree, 2021, shows two women hugging: Charlie is looking for a tree for the governor, see, and it happens to be in Alma's back yard. They closet Charlie, but according to the IMDB, she's a woman. I'll bet they turn into good buddies, but there may be a residual gay guy.
Scene 1: Establishing shot of snow. Charlie is inspired, while her partner just wants to go home. Meanwhile, a short-haired lady is checking on her chicken coop. She names the darn things.
Charlie and her partner follow their drone to the perfect tree: "It's calling us!" The short-haired lady notices a disturbance in the Force.
Scene 2: At some sort of Christmas shop, the short-haired lady is instructing her staff on how to gift-wrap: be joyous, but do it perfectly. It should look like Santa himself wrapped it. Doesn't he have Elves for that sort of thing?
She's holding hands with a guy who notes that a new shipment of ornaments arrived, "hand painted by a grad student in Boston." Maybe maybe he is her father.
Back story: Yep, her dad. He and Mom are retiring in January, so like in three weeks, and she'll be in charge of the store. Much call for hand-crafted Christmas tree ornaments in January?
She has to leave for a taste test with Marie. So Marie gets a name, but she doesn't.
Meanwhile, Charlie and her partner Rohan (Shawn Ahmed) discuss how perfect the tree is for the Govenor of Maine's Christmas celebration.
Shawn Ahmed is gay, and grew up in a conservative Bangladeshi Muslim immigrant family in Canada. In an article in Macleans, he relates that he was in an abusive relationship, and after he broke him with him, threatened to out him to his parents. So he came out himself. They wanted him to "pray the gay away," then marry a woman to "cure" him, and then just stay in the closet. He attempted to kill himself, but was saved by a constable who told him about his own background in a conservative Evangelical family.
He has been honoured by the Webby Awards and World Economic Forum and his work has been featured on the CBC, BBC, NPR, CNN, Mashable, Globe & Mail, and Toronto Star.
More after the break
Wait, that can't be the same guy. My Shawn Ahmed has 58 acting credits on the IMDB, beginning in 2001. He trained at the Actors' Foundry, the Royal Conservatory of Music, National Dance of Canada, and Gymnastics Ontario. He'd never have time to do all that activism.
Spoiler alert: the ladies fall in love, but Rohan doesn't get a side romance. His subplot is about standing up to his mother about wanting to be a chef, and going to work for Marie.
Left: Hazz, an actual gay Muslim actor. He's not in any Christmas romcoms, and he usually plays straight characters, but you take what you can get.
3. A Bad Moms Christmas (2017) has a dancing Santa Claus on the icon, so there's bound to be some beefcake, anyway.
According to wikipedia, the moms are all enmeshed in heterosexual romances, and there are no side gay characters, but at least there are some dancing Santas....
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Actually, we only see two, Justin Hartley and a chubby guy.
I'll be glad when the romcom season is over.
See also: Jexi: Dull romcom enlivened by Justin Hartley and Adam Devine
Christmas on Repeat: A Groundhog's Day romcom with Matthew Lawrence, Peter Pan, and some BBCs
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