A gay romance on "Barnaby Jones"? Yes, the one starring Jed Clampett and Catwoman

It's the cold,  windy Thursday night four days before Halloween, during my senior year in high school.  The family has gathered in front of the tv set, as usual: the tv is on every night from dinnertime to bedtime, a backdrop to all of our other activities.

7:00: Welcome Back, Kotter.   The high school underachievers evaluate the principal's novel, John Travolta says "Up your nose with a rubber hose," and Horshak (Ron Pallilo) explains, yet again, that his name means "The cattle are dying."  Yawn.

7:30: What's Happening!. Inner city prettyboy Dwayne (Haywood Nelson) helps his dad run for city council.  I haven't figured it out yet, but I'm still mesmerized by the guy's bulge and backside.

At 8:00, my parents want to watch Barney Miller, but I go upstairs to watch James at Fifteen on my small portable tv.  It's the second episode of the teen drama starring Lance Kerwin as a high school swimmer.  

When it's over, I turn off the tv and start doing homework.  A few minutes later, my brother Ken comes clomping up the stairs.  "You'll never guess what they're watching down there!" he exclaims.  "Barnaby Jones!"

"You're kidding -- Jed Clampett as a private eye?"  The oldster detective is played by the star of the Beverly Hillbillies.

"And Catwoman is his secretary!"  Lee Meriwether, who plays Barnaby's daughter-in-law, was Catwoman on Batman.

"Gross!  Next they'll have Scooby-Doo!"

Ken laughs.  "Don't take my word for it.  Come downstairs and watch."

"Geezer tv?  No way!"  My friends would rib me unmercifully if they found out I had watched something as lame as Barnaby Jones!

Ignoring me, he flips the tv on, and clicks the dial to CBS.

No Jed Clampett, no Catwoman.  Two cute young guys, one in a muscle shirt that displays baseball-sized biceps, the other in skin-tight jeans that reveal an enormous bulge.  They are standing so close together that they seem about to kiss.

Muscle Shirt: You're the  man for me!

Tight Jeans: Let's not get carried away..."

"Two homosexuals?"  I exclaim. "You didn't tell me there were homosexuals on this show!"

Kenny shrugs.  "They must be the bad guys."

"Well, turn it off.  Seeing those freaks makes me sick!"

In the year or so before I figured it out, I was extremely homophobic.  Even my friends commented on it: 'What is your problem with gays?"  I thought of gay men as frilly little lacy things, fluttering about at their jobs as hairdressers and interior designers, destroying everything that was hard and warm and masculine.  Yet here were two hard-bodied, masculine gay guys.  How was that possible?

The next week I pretend to be immersed in a book in order to watch Barnaby Jones with my parents.  Tight-Jeans is Mark Shera, playing Barnaby's nephew, a law school student.  But he definitely likes girls.  

Born Mark Shapiro in 1949, a 1971 graduate of Boston University, Mark Shera got some teen idol attention for S.W.A.T. (1975-76), where he played Officer Dominic Luca.  This led to his gig on Barnaby Jones (1976-80), plus episodes of the usual 1970s and 1980s series: Love Boat, Fantasy Island, Murder She Wrote, Matt Houston. 

More after the break

 Mark seems to have retired from acting in the mid-1990s.  I can't find any more recent information about him, except that he may have gone into real estate, and he's never married.  That could mean that he is gay in real life.

What about Muscle Shirt, with his baseball-sized biceps and the romantic plaint of "You're the man for me?"  He must have been a guest star.

Before the days of the internet, there was no way to track down the episode.  I waited for summer reruns, but by that time I was working at the Carousel Snack Bar in the mall on Thursday nights.  The scene of gay romance was lost forever. 

Until a few days ago, when I found a photo of the scene on ebay, which led to the entire episode on Youtube: "Gang War."

I misread the scene:  Barnaby isn't around, so gang member Duke (Muscle Shirt) kidnaps JR and forces him to solve the murder of his buddy.  The others think that a rival gang is responsible, and threaten to start a "gang war," so it's high stakes. There are some gay subtexts, but not between Duke and JR. 

 he's not in love with Mark Shera, he's about to kidnap him.

Muscle Shirt was Asher Brauner (1945-2021), who has 38 acting credits listed on the IMD.  He is best known for Switchblade Sisters (1975), about a bikini-wearing girl gang, and Treasure of the Moon Goddess (1987), about a bikini-wearing pop star being romanced by a man-mountain in the jungle

Sounds like a lot of hetero-sleaze, but he also appeared in some gay-themed movies:

Alexander: the Other Side of Dawn (1977): Teenage Alexander (Leigh McCloskey) is seduced into the sordid, disgusting world of gay hustlers and rent-boys. Asher plays Buddy, a straight guy who befriends him and helps him abandon the "gay lifestyle."  

In Making Love (1980),  Zack (Michael Ontkean) is married to Claire (Kate Jackson), but begins to realize that he is gay through a romance with a handsome writer (Harry Hamlin).  While investigating her husband's affair, Claire (Kate Jackson) meets  Ted (Asher), a brawny, working-class guy -- a first on television.  Playing a gay guy in 1980 took a lot of courage, even for an actor who usually played horny straight guys.

Asher never married, so maybe he was gay in real life.

Maybe I didn't misinterpret the scene.  Could I have noticed some real chemistry between two closeted actors on a long-ago episode of Barnaby Jones?

See also: Paul Michael Barnes: Bo Duke's country-western good ol' boy buddy likes Barbies and disco. With Locke butt, Duke dick and Kentucky cocks

Glenn Scarpelli: the star of "One Day at a Time" and "Jennifer Slept Here" grows up, comes out, and gets a husband

Lance Kerwin: The Golden Boy of the 1970s

Harry Hamlin Making Love