Michael Sayfou: Ethiopian-American model/theater major with a cat, a physique, and a lot of queer codes. Plus some Ethiopian d*cks

Link to Michael and the Ethiopian d*cks

Michael Sayfou played Ash, one of Pontius' skateboarding friends, on two episodes of The Righteous Gemstones.  I don't think he had any lines, but Gideon Gemstone called him by name and hugged him, and he was standing directly behind  Gideon's brother Abraham at the opening of the new Christian skate park.  That was enough for me to write an Ash-Abraham romance, "My Dad Can't Know That I'm Gay"  

According to his IMDB page, Michael is straight, but I'm not so sure.  He's wearing a lot of jewelry for a straight guy.  Maybe he closeted the listing because:

He is of mixed race, with one side of his family from Ethiopia.

Wow, Ethiopia!  The ancient city of Axum!  

The rock churches of Lalibella! 

The Ethiopian Orthodox Church, one of the oldest in Christianity!

The Amharic language!  The second most widely spoken Semitic language in the world, after Arabic, with its own distinctive alphabet.

Those dinners where you tear off a chunky of spongy injera bread and use it to scoop up the various dishes.

And the men!  In West Hollywood, I met an Ethiopian guy from the Tigrinya ethnic minority group.  One of the biggest ever.

But Ethiopia is extremely homophobic.  I can understand why Michael, immersed the Ethiopian immigrant subculture, might want to put "straight" on his IMDB profile,  where everybody from his priest to his Uncle Orono can read it. 

Michael was born in New Jersey in 2002, but went to high school in Mint Hill, a suburb of Charlotte, North Carolina, where he was on the swim team.  

More after the break. 

Oscar is Gay: LGBTQ Representation on the Duolingo Language App

The Duolingo language learning app gives you points for completing exercises, stories, and podcasts in your chosen language (or languages).  I've been using it for over two years, and tried out almost every language they offer.  Some are fun.

In Finnish, you learn the words for "wizard" and "shaman" right away.

In Portuguese, you learn "armadillo" before "dog."

In Swedish, you usually don't "eat" something, you "eat it up."  I wonder if English used to require that construction, too.

Remember all of those Arabian Nights stories where they say "O Vizier," "O Genie," and so on?  Turns out that in Arabic, you must begin direct address with "yah," so: "O Benjy, what time is it?"

 Sometimes I quit right away: in Welsh the speakers sound enraged, in Italian they speak in a monotone like robots, and in Latin the female speaker sounds like she's trying to seduce you: Ego...ooh...mulier sum.  How about it, baby?

Sometimes I go five or ten lessons, until things become too confusing.

Is the Arabic دوز pronounced duuz, du'iz, or duuza?  Different speakers say it differently, with no explanation.

The Korean "eo" and "o" are pronounced the same, as "i," but the lessons expect you to differentiate them.

J'ai acheté des fruits must be translated as "I bought fruits," not the correct  "fruit," and hűtőszekrény can only mean "fridge," not "refrigerator," even though we never say "fridge" in America.

The problem is, five mistakes and you are not allowed to use the app again for 2-4 hours. And you're competing with others to see who will accumulate the most points by the end of the week and stay on your achievement level, and who will be demoted.  So you can't afford to have 2-4 hours off, and you end up doing the exercises in Spanish and French, languages that you already know, so you won't make many mistakes, and ignoring your Swedish, Czech, or Finnish.

But enough complaints.  Duolingo has one quality that makes it superior to any textbook I have ever seen.

Introductory textbooks invariably teach you with dialogues about heterosexual romance.  A guy visiting the country tries to pick up a girl.   Later lessons show them ordering in a restaurant, visiting a museum, and so on.

On Duolingo, most of the exercises are not about romance at all, and when they are, about 20% of refer to women's wives and men's boyfriends.    

Some of the languages come with 50-100 stories (brief dialogues that test reading comprehension and listening skills)  Several involve gay romance: 

A man is waiting for his date, but he's sick, so his friend suggests "The perfect man for you": a doctor.

A woman is introduced to her girlfriend's family: Mom has five sons but only one daughter.  Well, now two. Welcome to the family!

An elderly male couple listens to a song, which is very bad, but they like it because they heard it on their first date.

An elderly man is depressed because his daughter is away studying in Australia, but his husband has arranged a surprise visit.

In Spanish, French, and German, most of the stories involve a group of people living in the same apartment complex.

1, Eddy, a fun-loving, rather dimwitted gym teacher and physical fitness buff.  (They have the same names in every language.)

2. His son, eight year old Junior, who is always trying to figure out ways to avoid chores and homework and spend his time playing video games.

3. Lin, who doesn't really have a job: she rides her motorcycle and goes to rock concerts.  According to Duolingo, she dates men and women, but I don't recall any stories that show her socializing with anyone but Bea (below) and her grandmother:

4. Lucy, elderly but strong, forceful, and athletic, apparently a former spy.

More after the break

David Naughton: The cutest guy of the Disco Era tells us to "Be a Pepper" and shows his d*ck

  

Is this not the cutest guy you've ever seen?  Other than Wes Stern (sigh) and Adam Devine, of course.

Link to David's d*ck

Between 1977 and 1981, the recent University of Pennsylvania graduate David Naughton could be seen in dozens of tv commercials, prancing about in a white shirt, black vest, and bulging jeans, selling Dr. Pepper.

"I'm a Pepper -- wouldn't you like to be a Pepper, too?"

I don't like the soft drink, but the spokesman was one of my first crushes.

David's fame from the commercials led to an invitation to star in Makin' It (1979), a rip-off of Saturday Night Fever with David and Greg Antonacci as disco-dancing brothers.  He also recorded the theme song:

Makin' it, oo makin' it, I'm solid gold.

I've got the goods

They stand when I walk through the neighborhoods

I'm makin' it

"Hit tv series" was a little premature: Makin' It was canned after nine episodes.

Next came Midnight Madness (1980), with teams of college students on an all-night scavenger hunt.  David's team, the good guys, includes his younger brother (Michael J. Fox before Family Ties).  There are also teams of jocks, spoiled rich kids, and girls.  I didn't notice any gay subtexts.

But American Werewolf in London (1981) has one.

College students David and Griffin Dunne are hiking through the Scottish highlands, when they are attacked by a werewolf.  Griffin is killed, and David turns, in scenes that emphasize his physique -- and p*nis.

He falls in love with a girl and uses a homophobic slur, and  his dead buddy Griffin keeps encouraging him to commit suicide. And -- spoiler alert -- there is no happy ending.

But the buddy-bonding subtext, the disco physique, and the d*ck (almost unheard of in mainstream movies at the time) were enough to make American Werewolf a must-see for gay men.

More after the break

Gemstones Episode 4.7: Kelvin and Pontius have their nards threatened, Gideon finds his voice, and skaters show their d*cks

  

Link to the n*de photos.

Title: "For jealousy is the rage of a man," Proverbs 6:34, KJV.  

The full verse, NIV: "For jealousy arouses a husband's fury, and he will show no mercy when he takes revenge.  Husband? I think we're going for Cobb as the Big Bad.

Left and below: Michael Sayfou, who plays Ash, Pontius' friend (and Abraham's boyfriend in my fan fiction).

The plotlines in this episode are not thematically linked, so I'll separate them by character.

Cobb's Story

We open with the gaping mouth of an alligator!  Various hooks, tools, skins, and Lori's ex-husband Cobb practicing boxing on a mannequin labeled "Feel the Pain."  

Lori drives up and yells "Nope!  We're not doing this again!"  She yells at him for trying to scare off every man she gets involved with.  She's probably referring to the brick through the her window and the car set on fire, but you never know.

He tries flirting with her - "You can't stay away.  Must be my animal magnetism."  But she says next time she's calling the cops. Next time?  I'd be calling the moment it happened.

Later, Cobb puts on a show at the Gator Farm. He rings a bell to signal "dinner time" to his favorite gator, the huge, ornery Big Gus.  "Gators are territorial.  Invade their territory, they'll bite you."  Uh-oh, Eli is in the audience!  The connection to Eli and Lori is too easy.  It must be a misdirection.

Cut to Cobb bagging up a toy alligator in the gift shop.  Shouldn't he have someone working during the show?   Eli approaches and explains that Lori is with him now, so "no more trouble." 

Cobb lays into him, noting that Lori has been with a lot of men since the divorce, and she was doing "sick, nasty stuff" up in Pigeon Forge.  He hands Eli a newspaper ad for her escort service: "Adult companionship -- wealthy men.  Call, click, connect.  First half hour free."

Ok, this has to be fake.  Prostitution is illegal in the U.S., so she couldn't advertise openly.  Escorts usually work from a standard client list.  You would neveer specify "wealthy men."  And what does "first half hour free" mean?  You charge by the act, not by the hour.

Cut to lunch. Eli asks Lori about the escort business ad. She claims that it's fake: "Cobb made up those ads to try to smear me."  There's not much call for 65-year old hookers in Pigeon Forge.

Eli also ran a credit check.  "You're broke.  You declared bankruptcy last year."

This makes Lori angry.  Accusing her of being a "who re," and then of being a gold-digger!  "Aimee-Leigh used to tell me how much you care about money.  I thought she was exaggerating."  She throws some money on the table to pay for her lunch and walks out. 

Kelvin's Story

Keefe arrives at Kelvin's treehouse, but the rope ladders and platforms have been pulled up, so he can't get in. 

Kelvin: "This is what cowards do.  They hide in their forts."  In what way was the round table debacle cowardice?  

Keefe points out that everyone at Prism is worried about him, but Kelvin doesn't believe it: "They're not concerned.  They just realized that I am a failure."

Tonight is the final event in the Top Christ Following Man promotion: the Night of Testimonies. "Nope, not going.  Now go away."

Cut to Keefe morosely turning off the lights at the Prism Prayer Room and puting a sign up: "No Prism today.  Maybe tomorrow or maybe another day or something."

The Monkey's Story 

In the kitchen, the Monkey feeds BJ pretzels, gets him some water, and kisses him on the lips -- five or six times, yuck! -- while Judy fumes.   

Later, she is in her bathroom, primping in front of the mirror, when the Monkey starts flinging its treats at her.  Then it jimps onto her vanity and throws her makeup onto the floor.  She rushes out into the dining room to tell BJ what's happening -- he's cleaning the Monkey's butt.  Gross!  

BJ says that it's not a competition.  He loves both Judy and the Monkey.

Then he brings up Kelvin's round-table debacle: "Poor guy.  Vance Simkins is a self-righteous bigot and a homophobe."  Judy is angry with Kelvin due to his insults earlier, so she refuses the Monkey's suggestion that she visit and talk to him.

Vance's Story

At the Cape and Pistol Society, Vance gloats: "Getting rid of Kelvin gives me a clear path to victory (in the Top Christian Man Contest).  He was the only real competition."  Plus, he enjoys hurting Kelvin, because it hurts Jesse. 

But Jesse counters that he hates Kelvin due to his insults from earlier, so "it doesn't hurt me at all.  It strengthens me."

Vance continues, evoking the Night of Testimonies: "I'm going to ruthlessly dismantle Kelvin tonight."  The ensuing conversation is censored.  It's on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.

More after the break