Jul 12, 2014

I Spent a Month in Cleveland One Night

I just had the world's worst night in Cleveland.

1. We were delayed, so we arrived during rush hour.

2. At the Thai restaurant, they brought my partner's food but not mine.  Some investigation revealed that the server put my food on another table and forgot about it.

3. The club was completely deserted, on a Friday night.

4. The Flexx Spa was completely deserted, on a Friday night.

5. Except for a weird guy walking around asking people to pull his....hard!  HARDER!  HARDER!!!

6. They wouldn't let me leave.  They kept stalling and putzing around, waiting on other people first, stalling some more, until I yelled "Let me out of here!!!"

7. The only way to the highway was past railroad tracks, where a 1,000 car train was going by slowly. All of those movies you've seen where a car races a train?  Bosh!  You could easily outrace it on foot.

8.  The hotel LITERALLY changed location.  It was on a different highway from when we left.  We drove 10 miles out of the way before thinking "This isn't right" and plugging in the GPS.

It took 10 minutes to get from the hotel to downtown Cleveland, and 45 minutes to get back.

9. Let's not even talk about the hotel room....

10. No, I didn't see either of these two guys.  Not even close.

See also: a Beefcake Tour of Cleveland.