The Bush Dynasty: Beefcake and Homophobia

On The Simpsons episode "Two Bad Neighbors," which aired in January 1996, former President George Bush moves into the house across the street from the Simpsons, and become Mr. Wilson to Bart's Dennis the Menace. Meanwhile Homer, feuding with George, tricks him into believing that his two sons, George W.. and Jeb, are visiting.

I stay as far away from politics as possible -- at the time I had never heard of either of them.  I would hear a lot later, of course, when George W. became a viciously homophobic President, and Jeb  the viciously homophobic governor of Florida.

But still, I assumed from The Simpsons that George Herbert Walker Bush (1926-) had only two children.  

Turns out he had six.

Yesterday I went through his entire family tree, looking for someone who was gay-friendly.  And for beefcake photos, of course.

1. George W. Bush (1946-) graduated from Yale (as a legacy) and Harvard Business School, worked as an oilman and owned a baseball team before becoming governor of Texas and then President of the U.S. for a gruelling eight years (2001-2009).  He hasn't mellowed on gay marriage, or anything else gay -- he hates gay people now as much as he ever did.

Daughter: Jenna Bush Hager (1981-), a journalist.  Married to Henry Chase Hager.

Daughter: Barbara Pierce Bush (1981-), a Yale graduate, fundraiser, and activist.  Gay-friendly!  Appears in a pro-marriage equality PSA released by the Human Rights Campaign. She was dating graffiti artist Miky Fabrega (top photo), who painted in his underwear, but recently she's been linked to Franck Raharinosy

2. Robin Bush: died in childhood.

3. Jeb Bush (1953): got a degree in Latin American Affairs from the University of Texas, moved into real estate and then politics, becoming Governor of Florida, (1999-2007), and then throwing his hat in the presidential ring in 2016 but losing out in the primaries.  He hasn't mellowed, either.  He's an all around bigot.

Son: George P. Bush (1976), Texas land commissioner who apparently is into some very shady stuff.  He's strongly opposed to gay rights.

Son: Jeb Bush Jr (1983), left, budding politician.  He's had a few run-ins with the police.  Strongly opposed to...well, you get the idea.  At least he looks nothing like his father.









4. Dorothy Bush Koch (1959-): got her degree in sociology from Boston College, is a fund-raiser and philanthropist.  Her first husband, Robert Koch, was a wine distributor...and a Democrat!  Maybe she's gay-friendly.

Son: Sam LeBlond (1984-): a beer distributor (left; I don't know who the boyfriend is)

 Son: Robert Koch (1993)

5. Neil Bush (1955-): has a B.A. in economics and a M.B.A. from Tulane University.  A Texas businessman who has been indicted for many shady dealings.  No word on his attitude toward gay people.

Son: Pierce Bush (1986-): an executive officer at Big Brothers.  That's him jumping into the lake.  Big Brothers accepts gay volunteers.

6. Marvin Bush (1956-): has a degree in English from the University of Virginia.  An insurance agent. No word on his attitude toward gay people.

Son: Charles Walker Bush (1989-)

You're probably wondering about Billy Bush, the host of Access Hollywood and The Today Show, who appears on the famous video with Donald Trump bragging about sexually assaulting women.  He's the son of Jonathan Bush, George H. W. Bush's brother.  Apparently as homophobic as his cousins.

But the only Bush I could find chest shots of.  Here he poses with Chippendale dancers.