Krapopolis Episode 2.14: Tyrannus on "The Bachelor," some gay guys at a party, Jordan Young, and Jerry O'Connell

Krapopolis (2023-25) is a Fox animation sitcom set in ancient Greece, where the inept demigod Tyrannus (Richard Ayoade) rules over a crappy city-state.  Many gods and heroes have guest shots, including Achilles, Heracles (the Greek form, for once), Hermes, Homer  (really?), Pan, Poseidon, Odin (makes as much sense as Homer). 

I'm reviewing Episode 2.14: "Love Trap, Baby," because Tyrannus becomes a contestant in a Bachelor-like dating show.  I want to see if any of the contestants are women.

Plus 1990s mega-hunk and gay ally Jerry O'Connell appears

Jordan Young, reputedly in the running for Tyrannus before they decided on Richard Ayoade, is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

Scene 1: A messenger from the city of Messenia appears before demigod King Tyrannus to see if he wants to barter for some squid.  Not interested: The Messenians forgot Poseidon's birthday, so he is making it rain squid, and Krapopolis is downwind.

Next visitor: Angelioforos, with an invitation and a gift (is it the hunkoids carrying the fruit basket?).  Their princess Lycosa is seeking True Love, so she is inviting all of the eligible bachelors in the area to come to her palace on the Paradise Peninsula for a contest.

Tyrannus' part-fish Half-Brother is cynical: this sounds like a scam.  But the rather naive Tyrannus agrees to go.

Scene 2: Tyrannus packing for the trip, asking fashion advice from his sister Stupendous, the gigantic leader of the city-state's army: slit to the thigh, or farther?  "Farther?"

Next he tells his parents, Shlub the manticore/centaur creature (Matt Berry) and Deliria, Goddess of Destruction and Questionable Choice, that he's leaving them in charge, and could they please not destroy or "fundamentally alter the character" of his city while he's away?

Scene 3: On the road, the siblings continue to complain.  

Back in Krapopolis, the parents complain: "He thinks we can't handle his city for a few hours?"  They plan an party, but the roads are too bad to draw anyone, so Deliria repairs them, and turns some enchanted carts into a train that will go from town to town.

More after the break

Superhero Sidekicks in Bondage

The pulp magazine covers of the 1930s and 1940s often featured a woman drawn in the style collectors called GGA or Good Girl Art, tied to something and about to be murdered or violated by a drooling villain, while the hero rushes to the rescue.  But in superhero comics, the teenage sidekick was either tied next to the GGA woman, or else tied up all alone, and while GBA is not an official comic book term, his muscles were displayed quite as prominently as her breasts, providing hours of fun and excitement for gay kids of the pre-Boomer generation.

The Human Torch’s sidekick Toro, nearly-naked, muscles straining, chest heaving, is tied spread-eagle in the path of a tank , tied to the barrel of a cannon, or being lowered into a buzz-saw machine.

 3 of the first 10 covers of Detective Comics after the introduction of Robin, and nine of the first thirty, feature a surprisingly fit Boy Wonder tied up and about to stabbed, shot, drowned, or otherwise violated, while Batman rushes to the rescue.

As World War II progressed, many other superhero comics followed suit. The magazine racks of every drugstore were overflowing with images of superheroes rushing to the rescue of bound-and-threatened GBA sidekicks.

Captain America rescues Bucky in eight of the first ten covers of his comic book, and fully half of the first thirty.  Bucky is often (but not always) drawn as a muscular teenager, and his green-skinned, fairy-tale ogre captors have devised much more creative methods of execution than Robin’s.  He is strapped to an operating table next to a monster, while a leering Nazi doctor prepares an injection; mummified and threatened with an Iron Maiden.

He is hanging from his wrists and threatened by hot coals....in a cemetery, about to be buried alive....thrown overboard with a 500-pound weight around his neck...

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Kelton Dumont in his birthday suit, plus birthday waffles, a costume party, and some backsides

 

Link to the n*de dudes

 This is a collection of photos from some of Kelton Dumont's birthdays, in backwards chronological order.  The n*de dudes are all over 18.

1. Nearing his 21st, with screen brother Gavin Munn

2. His 20th, with Dad James Dumont at  a WWE expo.

3. In case you haven't seen Kelton's backside lately.

4. 19th.  Kelton's birthday is close enough to Halloween to make costume parties feasible.

5. Not Kelton, a bud at the pool.

6. The big 18

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The Answer to the Muscleman's Question

 

Link to the n*de dudes (all over 18)

Today summer lasts for 12 weeks; I can see its beginning and end.  But when I was nine years old, lasted for months or years, or never ended: somewhere it's still that childhood summer, an endless succession of days, all bright green and dazzling.  

A week in Indiana, visiting my parents' family.

A week camping in Minnesota and Canada.  

Nazarene summer camp.  

Swimming lessons at Longview Park Pool.

 

The bookmobile every Tuesday. 

The Denkmann School Carnival.

  

Malts at Country Style. 

Vacation Bible School

Gold Key comic books at Schneider's Drug Store.

Dark Shadows.  H.R. Pufnstuf.  Tarzan Theater.

Posters of teen idols.

And the Muscleman's Question:

 All on a golden afternoon, probably a Saturday in July, in my Grandma's farmhouse in northern Indiana.  It's a big house, white frame.  The living room is pink, with flowered wall paper and thick drapes.

My brother and I are alone.  I don't remember why.  Maybe Mom and Dad have gone off somewhere, on an expedition of their own, leaving Grandma Davis to babysit, and she has stepped out.

We have just come in from something or other -- puttering around in the apple orchard, playing fetch with the dogs next door, exploring the old barn where Grandpa used to milk cows.  We kick off our shoes at the door.  

Maybe we're going to head up to our room which happens to be Dad's old room, with his pictures and schoolbooks and baseball glove), or up to the attic to sort through the bundles of old magazines in search of comic books.

I stop in front of the tv set, a big piece of furniture, wood-brown, with curved pillars on the sides.  There's an empty candy dish and a photo of my Cousin Phil on top. 

At our house the tv is almost always on, whether anyone is watchng or not, a stable, comforting background noise.  But Grandma keeps it off unless someone wants to watch a specific program.  It seems unnatural, wrong somehow.

I reach down and turn it on.

Kenny asks "What do you want to watch?"

I shrug. "I don't know.  Maybe Tarzan Theater."  On Saturday afternoons in Rock Island, when there isn't a game on, you can see old Tarzan and Bomba the Jungle Boy movies.

The black and white screen flickers, and then pops on.  A game.

I turn it to the next channel.  Some people talking.

"Find some cartoons," Kenny suggests.

There are only three channels, so only three choices.  I turn to the third.

A shirtless muscleman.

In my memory he reveals more than that, although he was probably wearing a leotard.  Definitely shirtless, though, with taut hard pecs and very thick hard biceps.

You never saw shirtless men on tv in those days, except in Tarzan movies, so I stand dumbstruck, frozen in place, realizing that I will remember this moment forever.

"What's this?" Kenny asks.

The man twirls and high-steps, bulging his calves, across a bare stage to a young blond woman.  Then, dancing a sort of tap dance, he asks "Who....are...youuuuuu?"

She starts a tap dance of her own, dances in front of him, and says "I....don't...know. Who...are...youuuuu?"

He stops dancing and glowers at her, his eyes dark, and replies.  "I am the Magic Mushroom."

At that moment, Grandma appears at the window leading to the kitchen.  "There's nothing for kids on now," she says. "Turn the tv off."

"Wait...I..."  I begin.   But Kenny obligingly turns it off.  

"Now who wants to help me bake a pie for dinner tonight?"

All in a golden afternoon.

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