Apr 1, 2018

Why Easter is Better than Christmas

Easter is one of my all-time favorite holidays.  I love the juxtaposition of the iconic event of Christianity, the solemn death and glorious resurrection of Jesus Christ, with the gaudy triviality of chocolate rabbits and colored eggs.

Although I hate jellybeans and marshmallow Peeps, and this hunk with the rabbit head is just creepy.

But starting over is always exciting: cleaning out the junk that accumulated all winter, ratcheting up your weight training in anticipation of swimsuit season, and buying some new jackets and short-sleeve shirts.

They used to have Easter Parades, where you marched down the street wearing your new spring frock and gaudy hat, as memorialized in the song "Easter Parade," by Irving Berlin, and the 1948 movie musical starring angst-queen Judy Garland and bisexual future Rat Packer Peter Lawford.

By the way, in Sybil (1976), the song "Easter Parade" is a trigger to Sybil's traumatic past.

Put on your Easter bonnet...sob, sob...with all the frills...upon it...sob
You'll be the grandest...sob...lady...[voice gets high and squeaky] in the Easter...parade [switch to a new multiple personality!]

What's not to like?

Besides, Easter coincides with Passover, where you commemorate the iconic event of Judaism, the liberation from Egypt under the leadership of Moses (or, in lesbian households, Miriam), with a solemn ceremony in which the youngest guy present has to lift his shirt...um, I mean has to ask Four Questions:

Why is this night different from other nights?

1. On other nights we eat leavened bread and matzah, and on this night only matzah.
2. On other nights we eat all vegetables, and on this night only bitter herbs.
3. On other nights, we don’t dip our food, and on this night we dip twice (but nobody dips)
4. On other nights we eat sitting or reclining, and on this night we only recline (no, they're all sitting)

Then you eat a big dinner in which your boyfriend's Aunt Esther asks "a bishi brisket, bubbie?" and his mother says "Ess, ess, meyn kinter!  You're all skin and bones!"

I like the matzah spread with horseradish and haroset (fruit and nut paste).

I was going to do a post on my best, worst, and most erotic Easters and Passovers, but I couldn't find enough bad and erotic ones.  They're all the best.

So here's a naked guy with a bunny mask.

See also: Easter at the Bath House.


  1. So if the hunk with the rabbit head wanted to shag you, what would you say?

    1. No head for you until you lose the rabbit head

    2. Yeah, animal mascot means furries means no.

      At least Easter doesn't have a fox mascot, though I'm sure furries have fun with the species most associated with pornography as well.

  2. P.S. The guy in the red shirt looks familiar. Where have I seen him before?

    1. I can't find the photo in my archive, so I haven't used it before. It might be a teen idol, but I don't know who.


No comments that use abusive or vulgar language or point out that a character is Not Wearing a Sign.

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