Aug 1, 2017

The Joy of Summer #5: Watching Guys Mow Lawns

I hate summertime, but I have to admit, it has some beefcake benefits, like car washes; dunking booths at county fairs; and guys mowing lawns.

During the 19th century, most people in the U.S. cities lived in townhouses, houses crammed against each other with no space in between. Sculpted green lawns were for the estates of the very rich.  It wasn't until the 20th century, and especially after World War II, that even people of modest means expected to have a "castle" surrounded on all sides by green lawns.

Today practically every house has a lawn, regardless of its environmental impact: grass is a water-hog, and it doesn't give off a lot of oxygen.  In fact, it doesn't do much of anything.  You'd be better off planting a vegetable garden, or some flowers that can attract bees.

But one benefit of all those lawns is: they have to be mown.  At least once a week from sometime in April to sometime in September in the northern United States.

The hot months.

It's hot work, so people -- usually men -- often mow shirtless.

In every suburban neighborhood, Saturday afternoons are filled with the sound of electric mowers, as the parade of beefcake begins.

Once you reach middle age, you don't mow lawns anymore.  You give the job to any teenage boys in your household.  If there are no teenage boys in your household, you hire someone.

Elderly people usually solicit volunteers from among their sons and grandsons, or again, hire someone.

Gay men usually have to hire someone.

More after the break.

To hire a lawn mower, ask:
1. If he has his own equipment.
2. How much experience he has.
3. If he minds mowing the lawn with his shirt off.
4. If he will need to take a shower afterwards.

Most guys mowing lawns don't mind if you watch.  They think you are admiring their technique, not their pecs.

Watching hot guys mow lawns is one of the few joys of summer.

1 comment:

  1. I would agree with you on that, however; here in FL most lawns are done my landscape companies and in the brutal sun of the summer None of the guys go shirtless. Which is o.k. because none of them are eye candy.


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