"Son of a Thousand Men": Magic realism from Brazil with fragmented time and space, but there are gay guys and d*cks

Son of a Thousand Men (2025) popped up on the n*de celebrity website with a hung trifecta, playing N*de Men #1, #2, and #3, with Antonino. 

Link to the n*de dudes

But what is it about?  

Different reviews give us completely different plots:

1. "A lonely fisherman longing for a son is drawn into an ethereal light," and the boy appears.

2. "A gay guy enters a marriage of convenience with a foundling woman" 

3. "An older couple hires an actor to impersonate their gay son."

4. "A elderly man tells his grandson to stay away from gay men and lesbians" (VOD)

Maybe they're all correct.  I suspect that we are looking at magic realism, like 100 Years of Solitude, The House of the Spirits, and Cortazar's Hopscotch, where people merge into other people, time and space are fragmented, and the subconscious manifests in everyday objects.   

Let's try the trailer:

Scene 1:  Sometime in the 19th century, an elderly fisherman (Rodrigo Santoro) is living by himself. That's the beginning of a lot of fairy tales.

He has been driven insane by the isolation, so he makes a creepy boy doll that he pretend is  real.   So is the doll going to come to life, like Pinocchio?  

Scene 2: He puts an ad in the village grapevine, "Elderly man seeks a son."  A teenage boy looks at it, but a preteen boy shows up. I think the teen boy turned into the preteen boy, and both are going to become the Fisherman.

Scene 3: The Boy wants the Fisherman to get a girlfriend, so he won't be lonely.  This might be a problem, since they live in the wilderness, a long, arduous journey from the nearest town. Who does he sell the fish to?   

Fortunately, at that moment the Woman of his Dreams appears, wearing a flowing white robe, sitting alone on the rocks. She must be a supernatural being, maybe an eidetic invocation of the Eternal Feminine.

The Boy doesn't think that the Woman of his Dreams is an appropriate partner for the day-to-day life of a fisherman, maye he can't see her at all, so he continues: "There are plenty of girls in the village."  This to a shot of someone who is definitely not a girl. I think he's Antonino from the n*de photos (Johnny Massaro), so maybe he was hanging out on the gay beach. 

Scene 4: Mom tells Antonino that she needs a grandchild, so get busy.

Scene 5: Antonino's wedding, to a woman trapped in a fishing net. Is this standard for Brazilian weddings, or does it signify that she's a sea creature?   This must be Plot #2: he's a gay guy forced to marry "a foundling woman." 

Scene 6: They settle in for their wedding night in separate beds.

Scene 7: In the morning, she leaves, wanders on to the beach, and says "Love ruins everything," just before the Fisherman sees her and is overcome by Girl of His Dreams fervor. So she's the Net Lady.  But I thought there were no other houses -- or hotels -- around for hundreds of miles. Maybe she walked through time and space.

Scene 8: Net Lady and Fisherman bond over screaming therapy, laugh, and swim in an ocean full of people, "all children of different mothers and fathers."  Obviously.

Meanwhile Antonino (I think) has a rather painful bout of self-gratification.

Scene 9: The Boy curls into a fetal position as hair drops on him.  So he's been to the barber?

People gaze at the ocean.

Net Lady (I assume) dies as the Fisherman holds her hand.

There's a giant glowing seashell.

Fisherman: "We're never really alone."

The end.

Still confused?  Me, too.  But I found a complete, detailed plot synopsis, untangled the magic realism fragmentation, and put the events in chronological order.

Unfragmented story after the break.  

Gemstones Episode 2.5: Yep, Kelvin is gay. But there's embezzlement and murder, too, and some accountant c ocks

  

Link to the c ocks

Episode 2.5 is a flashback to Christmas 1993.  Since two of the season's big questions are "Did Eli kill Glendon Marsh?" and "Is Junior trying to kill to get revenge?" we get some Eli-Glendon back story.

Knives or nunchuks? As the family is photographed at the Gemstone Christmas tree, Judy torments 4-year old Kelvin.  Jesse says that he's going to give him a weapon for Christmas, so he can defend himself: "Knives, or nunchuks."  Eli forbids him from giving his brother weapons.  Jesse complains that he's going to grow up to be "a pussy."  He explains that a pussy is someone who doesn't like to do things and is afraid of everything.  Sounds sort of like a gay stereotype.

You have to think of the optics: Eli is planning to move the Salvation Center to a giant coliseum.  The church board complains that he can't afford it: he's already spent church money on a private zoo and amusement park.  Hey, that's embezzlement!  They also advise that "the rich pastor is not a good look."  

But Eli won't listen: "I cannot imagine a more ridiculous comment.  Big means success. People want to see something bigger than life." Well, this is during the tail-end of the Reagan-Bush "wealth is virtue" era, with "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous," "Dynasty," and "Dallas."

"But we're spending more than we have!" accountant Terry (Mike Ostroski) complains. Gulp: Eli fires him!

Get that boy some mousse: Baby Billy shows up unexpectedly, having abandoned his wife Gloria and son (he claims that they abandoned him, but Aimee-Leigh calls her and discovers the truth).  

Kelvin: "Dang, Baby Billy is thirsty."  But Billy isn't drinking anything.  Does he mean "thirst trap'?  That expression won't be common until the 2010s, but apparently it is used here to indicate that he thinks his uncle is hot.  Remember that in Season 1, the adult Kelvin and Judy comment on the attractiveness of their grown-up nephew Gideon.  

Baby Billy tells Kelvin that his estranged wife said:  "You have the most boring haircut in the world.  Get that boy some mousse."  Kelvin is upset (concerned with his appearance, a gay stereotype). Remember that the adult Kelvin uses mousse to create that upward wave.

Later, Kelvin demonstrates that he can play the harpsichord blindfolded (um..big deal?  Nobody looks down at the keys while playing).  Baby Billy calls him a prodigy and hugs and kisses him, obviously looking for a brainy replacement for his special-needs son.  The siblings scoff.  This musical talent is never referenced again.

The Return of Glendon Marsh:  As Eli walks through the office, everyone smiles and says "Good morning, Dr. Gemstone."  Everybody.  It looks creepy rather than friendly. "Be nice, or he'll turn you into a toad." 

His new accountant, Martin, starts off on the wrong foot by sitting in his chair!  

 Glendon Marsh, his boss when he was wrestling and breaking thumbs back in Memphis, shows up unexpectedly and asks Eli to take care of $3,000,000 that he doesn't want the government to know about, and he can keep $1,000,000 for his trouble.  Hey, that's money laundering!  But Eli has already been embezzling, so what's the difference?  Aimee-Leigh and Martin disapprove, and Eli finally refuses. 

More after the break

Iain Armitage: Young Sheldon grows up, hugs guys, celebrates Pride. With n*de Galecki, Fisher, and Simon Rex

Link to the n*de dudes

I didn't like The Big Bang Theory (2007-19), featuring Johnny Galecki as the (relatively) stable center of a group of wacky nerd scientists who can't get any  "big bangs."  The hetero-horniness was incessant, and there were so many homophobic statements -- mostly asserting that all gay men wear dresses and prance  --- that I was more amazed than offended  Wasn't Jim Parsons, who played the neurotic physics savant Sheldon Cooper, gay?  Why didn't he protest?  (Apparently he was closeted until around the fifth season.) 

But I liked Young Sheldon (2017-24), about Sheldon Cooper's childhood, growing up in East Texas in the 1990s with a conservative Baptist Mom, a macho football-coach Dad, a macho muscle-building brother, and...you get the idea.

I grew up in the Nazarene Church, which taught that Baptists were much too liberal.  I could relate.

Plus there were lots of cute guys.  Sheldon's older brother Georgie (Montana Jordan) had musclebuilding plotlines before they switched to a "getting a girl pregnant" story arc.

If you're into chubs (and who isn't?), Dad Lance Barber had it all.

Next door neighbor Billy (Wyatt McClure) was too young to be hot, of course, but he had that puppy-dog cuteness that makes you say "Aww, how adorable!"  I figured that he would eventually come out, but instead the writers decided to give him a crush on Sheldon's sister.

And how about Rex Linn as Tom Peters, the longsuffering principal at Sheldon's high school. Wait, this is Simon Rex (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

There were no gay characters -- with or without Jim Parsons as executive producer, this was still a "family friendly" (non gay) show.  But also no casual homophobia.  Just a few references suggesting homophobia, as when someone suggests that Sheldon might be...you know, and Dad angrily yells "NO!"

And in Season 5, Sheldon tells his roommate Evan (Motoki Maxten) that he doesn't want to date girls because they are a distraction. 

"So you're into guys?" Evan asks nonchalantly.

"No, they're a distraction, too?"

Actually, he turns out to be asexual hetero-romantic, although this is never specified on The Big Bang Theory.

Roommate: "So you like guys?"

Sheldon: "No, they're a distraction, too."

The adult Sheldon is interested in heterosexual romance but not interested in s*xual activity (although he agrees to do it with his girlfriend as a birthday present).  The term for that is asexual hetero-romantic, but it is never explored on Big Bang Theory.

But I'm pretty sure that Iain Armitage (Young Sheldon) is gay.

More after the break

Jakob Winters: Would a gay actor agree to star in family-friendly, gay-free "Mayberry Man"? Twice? With his backside and co-star c*cks

Link to the n*de photos

The Andy Griffith Show (1960-68) focused on Andy Taylor, as the sheriff of small-town Mayberry, and his mildly wacky family and friends, n a world where hippies, the Vietnam War, and the Civil Rights Movement did not exist (although gay-vague people did).  I never watched by choice: even at six and seven years old, I thought it unbearably square.  How about some science fiction, like Star Trek, or a hip parody like Laugh-In, or at least a show with cute guys?  No one in Mayberry was cute.

Andy Griffith went on to play oldster lawyer Matlock, and his tv son Ron Howard, to become a director infamous for turning gay characters straight.  Ugh.

So why does Amazon Prime think I'll "love" Mayberry Man (2021), "a family friendly film" that "will have you yearning for a simpler time?"  Those are two heteronormative gender-polarized gay-free red flags.  

The premise: A-list, snobbish, sinful Hollywood actor Chris ("husband, father, and Chris follower" Brett Varvel) is arrested for speeding in Georgia. Somehow it's legal for the judge to sentence him to a week at the annual Mayberry Festival in North Carolina, assisting the celebrity guest -- his estranged father, who had a bit part in Season 3 (for a show that old, you take whatever cast members you can find).  

He arrives all Hollywood excess, with his star-struck assistant Shane (Jakob Winters) in tow.  Both are seduced by the small-town charm and "good old-fashioned values," and meet the Girls of Their Dreams.  And God. And Chris reconciles with his Dad. 

The gay exclusion is so hot, it burns.  And there are no people of color, either.  They do have a woman mayor.  Shouldn't she be off cooking something?

I hate-watched some of the sequel tv series (2024), where they save the town from an evil developer or something.  The evangelization comes on hot and heavy:

Shane: "I hope no one steals the Baby Jesus from the Nativity scene." 

The Woman of Chris's Dreams: "Who would steal the Savior of the world?"

At least it has a swishy-straight Black character (in L.A., of course, certainly not in Mayberry), played by "Honor Thy Father and Mother" Christian comedian Christian McCartney.

And Jakob Winter or Winters (top photo) piqued my interest. For biceps like that, I can handle a little gay erasure and family-friendly fundamentalism.

I can't imagine that a gay actor would agree to appear in Mayberry Man.  But there are lots of beefcake shots available, and who knows?  Maybe he's accidentally appeared in something with a gay subtext.

He doesn't have a lot of social media presence, so I only managed to put together a few biographical details:

He's from Kenosha, Wisconsin., of German ancestry (another Jakob Winters designs violin cases in Deutschland).   

His mother has a different name. 

In high school he was in the marching band.

He was chubby and bullied until he started working out.

In 2016 Jakob enrolled at Ball State University as an acting major.

He performed at the Richmond Shakespeare Festival in 2018, playing minor characters in Macbeth and Florizel in A Winter's Tale. 

In 2020, he received a BFA in Acting, and moved to New York.

No Jakob Winter appears in any search of Ball State University or Kenosha, Wisconsin.  I wonder if he is using a stage name.

Next, his seven acting credits on the IMDB:

In 2020, an episode of What Would You Do?, a reality show where actors perform scenarios, and real-life bystanders respond.  

In a restaurant, a Bisexual Guy (Bryce Koehl, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) comes out as bisexual.  His Straight Friend (Jacob) says "Bisexuality doesn't exist!"  Bystanders rush to correct him.

In another scenario, his Gay Friend (Jakob again) tells him, "You're just gay and afraid to come out." Again, bystanders rush to correct him.

Performing in some skits that educate us about bisexual identity?  I'm shocked, Jakob. 

More after the break