Noah Centineo: The Boyfriend of your Dreams, with five butts, three bulges, two d*cks, and no gay characters.

  

Link to the N*de Dudes

I've used stills from Noah Centineo's adult video as illustrations twice, but I don't know who he is, only that he filled in when Jake T. Austin left The Fosters. So, time to do some research.

He was born in 1996, and first appeared on screen with a kids' film, The Golden Retrievers, in 2008.

He appeared in three episodes of Austin & Allie, the first Disney Channel teencom to feature a canonical gay character, but he didn't play the gay character.

More guest spots on teencoms like Marvin Marvin and Shake It Up, and then his first starring role, How to Build a Better Boy, 2014.  He plays Jaden, the jock that science nerd Mae is crushing on, so she builds a cyber boyfriend to help win him. Matt Shively, left, plays her brother.

There's some some adult pictures in SPF-18, 2017, but it's not Noah, it's Jackson White, a depressed musician.  The focus character has to choose between Jackson and Noah, who is mourning the death of his father.  It gets a 3.3 rating on Rotten Tomatoes, probably because it is advertised as a romantic comedy, but is actually a depressing angst-fest.  

After 53 episodes of The Fosters, 2015-2018, Noah starred in To All the Boys I've Loved Before, 2018, but he's not the one loving the boys.  He's the Love Interest of focus character Lana, whose letters to her secret crushes are made public, destroying her life. 

In Sierra Burgess is a Loser, 2018, loser Sierra gets the help of the school's It-Girl to win the Boy of Her Dreams, Noah.  It also stars Will Peltz, left, as Spence, the It-Girl's boyfriend who dumps her.

More after the break

What movie has the same plot as "The People We Meet on Vacations"? It's not "Much Ado About Nothing." With Heizer and Blyth d*cks

 

Link to the n*de dudes

Before watching a movie, I always conduct research to make sure there are no nasty surprises, like homophobic jokes or queerbaiting.  The People We Meet on Vacation (2026) looked promising:  star Tom Blyth has played gay characters, and he's a guest at the wedding of Miles Heizer and Tommy Do.

And both Miles and Tom have n*de photos online.

But something about the plot bugged me:

Poppy and Alex (Tom Blyth) met at Boston College nine years ago, and started going on annual vacations together.  They have a romantic connection, but every year they are dating other people, or something goes wrong and ruins their opportunity for bedroom stuff.

Lucien Laviscount, as Poppy's boyfriend, and hunky tour guide Luke Gage are among the problems en route to the bedroom.  

After five years, they give up: obviously they are not Meant to Be Together.

But Poppy has stayed friends with Alex's brother, David (Miles Heizer), so she is invited to his wedding in Barcelona.  Alex comes too, of course. And the ex-boyfriend.  With all the misunderstandings, matchmaking, lies, secrets, and gossip, will they ever realize that they were indeed Meant to Be Together?

It's a romcom.  Of course they will.

Wait -- they didn't actually meet on vacation.  They already knew each other when they started vacationing together.

I was turned off by the misleading title and the superfluous gay wedding, just there to provide a backdrop for a hetero courtship, but something else was bugging me.

This all sounded very familiar.  I was sure that I had seen this movie before, but how?  It just now popped up on my Netflix recommendations.

First I checked to see if it was a sequel to two movies with similar titles, Vacation Friends (2021) and The People We Hate at the Wedding (2022).  No.

After extensive research, I found a movie with an identical plot:  Anyone But You (2023), a romcom based on Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing.

Left: Robert Sean Leonard and Denzil Washington in the 1993 Much Ado.

Grad student Ben (Glen Powell) and financial analyst Bea (Benedict and Beatrice, get it?) have a "we talked all night!' hookup, but then they ghost each other -- until Bea's sister starts dating the sister of Ben's best buddy.  Then they have to interact, but with a "You're looking well" coolness. 

More after the break.  Caution: Explicit.

Oskar Viniar: Russian boy with two gay-positive and a homophobic project, a queer tease, a lot of "girl!" songs, two backsides, and some d*cks

  

Link to the n*de photos

Next guy in my "profiles to do" file whom I've never heard of: Oskar Vinier.  According to his Instagram, "You're here for fun! Acting! Music!"  Actually, I'm here to see if you've played any gay characters, or are gay in real life.

Oskar Vinier lives in Miami, but he's got a definite European vibe.  

Like sitting "too close" to a buddy.  In the U.S., this would be an invasion of body space, unless they are boyfriends.  But this is at a theatrical competition in Orlando, and Oskar sits this close to several other dudes.

Maybe he just likes dudes.

Like his mom or sister wearing a frilly dominatr*x outfit at the kitchen table while they play a Gummi Bear game.  A very s*x-positive family.  

According to his official website, Oskar moved to Miami from Russia in 2019.

He has ten acting roles listed on his resume:

Taylor in Pimp My Life (2020), by Benjamin Renassia. Google only finds three references to this movie, in the resumes of Oskar, communications student Oren Salman, and John Cain

A boy in The Joke (2020), an experimental short film by visual artist Alain Gr-Polanco, who uses they/them pronouns and presents as female.

Son in the documentary Dear White Parents (2020), encouraging them to have discussions about racism with their kids.

Son in the experimental horror short Let's Play (2021), about two robbers who pick the wrong house.

Then there's a gap, probably due to his singing career, but he played a background student in four 2025 projects:

The Life List: A woman can't get her inheritance until she completes the bucket list that she wrote at age 13.  With Kyle Allen (frontal parts and backside on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

More after the break

"Danger Force" Episode 1.3: Gay dads, a hot supervillain, Captain Man's muscles, and a boy in a tiara

 Danger Force (2020-24) on Nickelodeon is Henry Danger Part 2: instead of one teen apprentice, bumbling superhero Captain Man gets a whole crew.   I reviewed Episode 1.2, "Say My Name," which reputedly has gay characters.

Scene 1: KLVY Studio. Captain Man (Cooper Barnes) is doing damage control after accidentally releasing hundreds of criminals from prison, including super-villains The Toddler, Arson Boy, Dr. Minyak, and Dr. Guilty.  Ok, those guys might be dangerous, but most incarcerated persons are being punished for minor drug possession and property crimes.  He's sent his Danger Force team out into the streets of Swellville to apprehend them.  But at that moment, the team arrives with pizza and wings!

Trying to save face, Captain Man argues that they at least caught The Toddler.  But there's a real toddler in his bag.  And they don't remember where they got him.  He's pre-verbal, so he can't tell them. This is a teencom, so I'm sure the parents realize that their kid is not in danger, just misplaced.

Introduction: There are four kids in Danger Force, two girls (one who looks more like a boy, and may be nonbinary), the "dreamy" Bose (Luca Luhan, left), and a "comic relief" Miles (Terence Little Gardenhigh, below). They apparently have superpowers of their own; I thought that the original Henry Danger was a non-powered teen sidekick.

Also in the cast: Captain Man's assistant Schwoz, whom I know from research to be played by trans actor Michael D. Cohen.

Scene 2: The kids practicing boxing while Captain Man snacks.  Whoa, look at those biceps! Could I just watch Cooper Barnes flexing for 23 minutes?  He's angry because they embarrassed him on tv, ao he insults their superpowers.  They do seem to be rather rudimentary.

An alarm rings -- "Stranger approaching!"  -- so the headquarters remodels into a classroom (rather a cool transformation).  It's a delivery guy named Guy (Josh George, center), who turns out to be Assistant Swoz, checking the security system.

More after the break