Unchosen: A mysterious stranger gets with a gay fundamentalist and his wife. Plus murder, Nazarene triggers, and Asa's d*ck

Link to the n*de dudes

I grew up in the Nazarene Church, a sect so strict that when I describe it, people think it's a cult.  So The Unchosen on Netflix, about a woman who escapes from a cult, caught my eye.  Then I found two articles gushing over the star, Fra Fe, an out-and-proud gay man who is thrilled to be playing an out-and-proud gay man on a Netflix tv series. Doesn't "fra" mean Frater, as in Brother?  Is the guy a gay monk turned actor?

Scene 1: A church service, with people feeding each other communion bread, followed by a picnic.  The Preacher  tells them that they are blessed to live in this holy community, where men provide and women nurture.  Uh-oh, gender polarization.  A cute guy gazes at his girlfriend at another picnic table (no fraternization, see?).  

As she fetches more hot dogs, the boyfriend, Adam (Asa Butterfield, above and n*de photos on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) -- actually her husband -- criticizes her for being too busy.   Their child drops by, then goes to play with her cousins, while the hot Uncle Isaac asks about her hearing aid.  They allow outside medicine?

Next a lady catches their daughter reading Beano comics under the table: "You wicked girl!  You're going to hell!" We couldn't read comic books, either.  I did it anyway.

Now a thunderstorm is coming.  Everyone scurries to pack up, but the girl stands still, not sure if it is God coming to punish her, or the End of Days for everyone.

Scene 2: They rush all the stuff back to their church, the Fellowship of the Divine.  Wait, where's our daughter?  

She's not in the church or the attached school, so the men form search parties and go out into the woods. Finally they use the Wife's name -- Grace.  She can't go, but she sneaks out anyway.  She finds her daughter drowning in a pond, being rescued by a Mysterious Man.  He pulls her to safety and runs away. 

Adam and Uncle Isaac arrive.  She still needs a hospital, so Uncle Isaac pulls out a cell phone and calls 111.  

Cut to the waiting room at the hospital.  The Woman is disgusted by a man and a woman kissing, and another using bad words.  Daughter is fine, ready to go home.  She explains that she ran away because she was worried that it was the Rapture.  I was afraid of that constantly.  Anytime someone left the room unexpectedly, or if I came home at the usual time, and Mom wasn't there.

"You don't need to worry about that.  We're the Chosen Ones.  We go to heaven."  But one little sin, even something as inconsequential as reading a comic book, and you're Left Behind.

Scene 3: Back at the church, the women are cooking lamb stew, and the men are praying, thanking God for letting Adam and Isaac find the girl.  Mom knows that a mysterious man did it. 

That night in their room, Husband Adam prays that God would make their love clean and pure, and then starts doing something with his Wife's behind.  I can't tell what, but she's not happy with it.

Scene 4: Early in the morning, Grace goes out into the woods and leaves her necklace for the Mysterious Man to find.  Hey, the cross on that necklace has an image on it.  Nazarenes would be shrieking in horror. Blasphemy!  Catholic idolatry!

While Grace is making breakfast, Husband Adam confronts Uncle Isaac (Aston McAuley, left and below).  Rosie, whoever that is, saw who he was texting; but it could have been anyone.  Uncle Isaac: "It's over."  Husband Adam: "I don't want to lose you."  He smashes the cell phone.

Wait -- is Uncle Isaac having an affair with his brothe-in-law Adam, or with an outside person?  

Cut to church.  After they praise God for the return of the daughter, Adam stands up and tells them that Isaac is a sinner.  He holds up the contraband cell phone.  Hey, you promised to not say anything!

Left: The IMDB says that this is Aston McAuley, but it doesn't look anything like him.

The Preacher (former Doctor Who Christopher Eccleston) yells "An instrument of the devil!  A pipeline to filth!  You have endangered the whole community!"  They all turn their backs, and two men drag him out.  Can't he just repent?  We lost our salvation a dozen times a week, and repented to get it back.

Grace is angry with her husband for turning Isaac in.  His pregnant wife and kids are still in the community.  What will happen to them?  But he just says "Submit to your husband, as to the Lord."

More after the break

"Alice": There's a new girl in town, with a teen idol son

Used to be scared, used to be shy

Funniest thing, the saddest part is I never knew why

Kickin' myself for nothin' was

My favorite sport

I had to get out and start enjoyin'

'cause life's too short

On Alice (1976-85), a tv adaption of Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore (1974), "start enjoyin'" meant working as a waitress in a small-town diner.

When her truck driver husband dies, Alice (Linda Lavin) heads out to L.A. to jump-start her singing career.  Her car breaks down in small-town Tucson, and she's out of money, so she takes a temporary job at Mel's Diner.

It lasts for nine years, but it gives her an opportunity to form a chosen family with her boss, gruff, beefy Mel (Vic Tayback) and fellow waitresses: gutzy Flo (Polly Holliday), whose risque catchphrase "Kiss mah grits!" became a phenomenon (and led to a short-lived spin-off); and mousy Vera (Beth Howland)

Left: Vic didn't actually have a beard on the show, but this was the only semi-shirtless picture I could find.

Alice also had a cute, wisecracking son, Tommy (Philip McKeon, left). 

Three ladies, a kid, and a bear?  I wasn't impressed.  Besides, Alice ran on Sunday nights, after the oldster-favorites 60 Minutes and All in the Family, opposite Battlestar Galactica or Chips.  I didn't start watching regularly until about 1980, when it was squeezed between One Day at a Time and The Jeffersons. 

It was a pleasant surprise.  The banter between the four regulars was sharp and witty, the plotlines were not terribly heterosexist, and there was ample beefcake: cowboys and muscular truck driver patrons of the diner, the various men dating the regulars, and Tommy's school friends.  

Hunky Denny Miller even played a gay character, the school coach: after he comes out, Alice hesitates about allowing Tommy to go on an overnight camping trip with him, but finally relents. Score one for tolerance in the homophobic 1970s.

More after the break

Jack Caroll is trollied, eaten by lions, endures soap opera angst, does stand-up comedy, shows his backside and his d*ck

Link to the n*de photos

Mobility is a BAFTA Award-winning comedy short about three boys from Huddlesfield, Yorkshire, who get on each other's nerves as they ride the mobility bus to school.  

Surly Dan (Ruben Reuter) insults everyone, mostly by references to the romantic interests of "your Mum."

Upbeat Sonny (Zak Ford-Williams) announces that "the only disability is a bad attitude," and chastises Dan: his behavior is not in keeping with the spirit of the Duke of Edinburgh award. 

Entrepreneur Mike (Jack Carroll) claims to be the future Wolf of Wakefield; he's going to make a fortune on the stock

I researched Ruben and Zak, and discovered that they are both gay in real life.  Coincidence, or a deliberate casting decision?

Time to check out the third, Jack Carroll who also co-wrote the script.  

He has the longest resume of the three: Born in 1998 in Bradford, Yorkshire, started his career at age 12. Comedian Jason Manford saw a video of Jack performing at his parents' wedding anniversary, and invited him to perform at a show at St. George's Hall.  

A film of his comedy bit aired on The One Show,leading to Britain's Got Talent, where he was runner-up, and 13 episodes of the sketch comedy show The Ministry of Curious Stuff (2012). Episodes of 4 O'Clock Club, Katy, Big School, and Ministry of Justice followed.

And the feature film Eaten by Lions (2018).  After their Gran dies, half-brothers Pete and Omar (Jack, Antonio Aakeel) go off in search of Omar's estranged dad. They find him in the tawdry, seedy tourist trap of Blackpool (for Americans, think Atlantic City).  Pete gets a girlfriend, and shows his backside.  I reviewed it several years ago.  It got a low grade for heteronormativity.

Next came 25 episodes of Trollied (2014-18), about the workers in a run-down supermarket (for Americans, a trolly is a shopping cart).  Mark Addy, who stripped down in The Full Monty (1997), played head butcher Andy, and perennial n*de dude Joel Fry played nice guy Leighton.

Jack's character, 16-year old Harry, is the brightest of the group: he received 9 A-grades in his GCSEs (tests taken during Year 11 of secondary school).  He's heterosexual.

In the short Newbie (2023), a new teacher is worried that students won't accept him because of his disability.   Weird-- the guy played a high school student that same year.  But Cole Sprouse was 30 when he finished playing high schooler Jughead on Riverdale.

 

Jack's biggest role to date is Bobby Crawford in 69 episodes of the soap Coronation Street (2023-25). 

In 2023, the teenage Bobby argues with his mum's boyfriend, and gets kicked out.  He looks up his birth dad, Rob Donovan (Marc Bayliss), who is in prison, and gets a referral to live with his Aunt Carla on....Coronation Street.

Ulp...maybe a soap opera community is not the best home.  Aunt Carla has a life-threatening illness, then disowns Bobby due to his friendship with his birth dad. He is kidnapped, becomes a hostage, is accused of murder....

His crush Lauren disappears, presumably murdered; then she reappears, is accused of murder, is blackmailed.  Am I getting this right?  It seems rather repetitive.  Finally Bobby has had enough; he runs away to Majorca to work on a fishing boat with a male friend.  

Jack explains that he had to leave the show to prepare for a national tour, but maybe he was getting tired of the angst.  He's primarily a comedian, after all.

He has performed on Britain's Got Talent, Britain's Got More Talent, Loose Ladies, Pointless Celebrities, Sunday Brunch, This Morning, The Stand Up Sketch Show, and Would I Lie to You?, as well as many live venues.  In 2026 his "Fall Guy" tours Scotland, beginning in Edinburgh. 

More after the break

The top 16 "Righteous Gemstones" frontsides, displayed on the show or off

The Righteous Gemstones was unique in its enthusiastic portrayal of men's frontsides, in nearly every episode. Plus a number of the actors who didn't get a chance to show their stuff on the show have obligingly posted pictures on the internet.  Here are my favorites, some huge, some not, but all a pleasure to watch.

Link to the uncensored list

1. Stephen Schneider (left) as Stephen had an affair with Judy Gemstone in Season 3.  Her husband BJ burst into his house, and fought him to reclaim his manhood. The actor was offered a prosthetic, but he wanted to perform with au naturel.  I can see why.

2. Blair Jackson played the boyfriend of Dot Nancy, whom Kelvin Gemstone is trying to draw away from Satan, in Season 1.  Off-camera, he has shown us his stuff.

3. Walton Goggins.  In our first view of the elderly grifter Baby Billy, he stands up in his bathtub to reveal superheroic proportions.  It re-appeared so often in Season 4 that even gay male viewers got tired of it.

4. Stephen Dorf,  who played the nasty, homophobic, and probably gay megachurch pastor Vance Simkins, goes big in a movie from 2005.. 

5. Jak Kriskowski appeared in a scene where Pontius enrolls in military school.  His scene was cut, but Jak joined the army in real life, and has given us a peek..

6, Kelton Dumont, as wild child Pontius Gemstone, was caught with girlfriend and jumped up and tried to hide it. After a lot of photo manipulation, you still can't see much, but I found a few other possibilities.

7. Adam Devine: To our disappointment, Kelvin Gemstone showed his backside quite often, but never his front. Probably because the dude is canonically small, and the actor is obviously not. We've seen it several times in his movies.

8. Cullen Moss as the security guard hot for Gideon's boyfriend Scotty.  He is on display in a 2021 movie.

More after the break.