Luxembourg-adjacent brothers Emilian and Marlon Heinrich: One has muscles, the other gay content. With Luxembourger d*cks

  

Link to the n*de dudes

Today Instagram recommended Emilian Heinrich. He and his brother Marlon do modeling and German tiktok povs like:

"When the younger brother has more rights than you"

"My brother at the beach"

 "If you love me, you'll...." 

Um...do a handstand with one hand?

I'm getting tired of internet celebrities and models.  Hopefully he's also an actor.

Score!  He's got six on-screen credits listed on his resume.  Maybe some are gay or gay-subtext.

Emilian was born in 2011 in Püttlingen, in the far west of Germany, about an hour by car from Metz, France, and ninety minutes from Luxembourg (which will give me an excuse to post some of my Luxembourg photos.)

Left: A n*de dude from Echternach on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.

1. Any gay content? 

Emilian has performed in the German Disney Christmas Show and:

Herzog Park (2020): A sick boy.

Horst Lichter - Keine Zeit für Arschlöcher (No Time for A*holes, 2022): The child version of the elderly man with a dying mother.

"Matildas Monster," an episode of Geschichten von überall (Stories from Everywhere, 2023): A soccer playing friend of the girl with a monster.

Frühling (Springtime, 2024), a soap opera about rural health care starring Jan Sosniok (n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).  A boy at a dog shelter.

Eine Person ex (An Ex Person, 2024): The child version of a crisis intervention worker who makes a fatal mistake.

Der so sich zum Tier macht (Turning You into an Animal, upcoming). The title comes from Samuel Johnson: "He who  makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being human."  Something about a soccer team.

Not much of gay interest there.

#2: Gay in real life?

One of his TikToks is about wanting a Freundin (feminine, girlfriend), so Emilian probably straight or bi.

What about his brother, Marlon (right)?  Maybe that's where the gay algorithm kicks in. 

Marlon after the break

An amazingly open gay subtext in "Below": From attempted murder to romance in three hours. Plus some n*de Somali dudes

 

 Link to the n*de dudes

I went into the Netflix series Below (2026), about a sea monster plaguing a small fishing village, expecting no more than the Newfoundland accent and maybe some shirtless fishermen.  But before I knew it, there was a major gay subtext, a crazy, undeveloped, yet touching "enemies to lovers" story!

Below is set in the Newfoundland village of Snooks Arms, where ice fisherman Calvin (Azriel Dalman as a boy, former teen idol Josh Hartnett as an adult) has several problems:

First, a prehistoric sea monster that hunts random villager, starts a plague, and has a weird cult with psychic powers.

Josh Hartnett's backside is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.

Second, the province wants everyone to relocate.  If 90% of the villagers agree to the move, they'll get a stipend of $140,000 for a family, or $60,000 for single people.  He and his lesbian sister don't want to move.

Calvin has an on-off girlfriend and three kids.  They all have plotlines of their own, plus love interests.

Wade (Charlie Heaton, Jonathan Byers on Stranger Things, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends), handles the cooking and cleaning for the family's bed-and-breakfast.  He keeps wanting to help on the ice fishing boat, but Dad refuses because he has ADHD, is taking psylociben for depression, and is a screw-up.

Love interest: He falls in love with a girl who happens to belong to the paranormal monster-worshipping cult, and wants to sacrifice him.

 Mary is visiting from Toronto with her musician boyfriend Noah (Caleb Horn).  Their plotline involves a stolen engagement ring.

Jay (Rohan Campbell) has been "working on an oil rig," he claims, and hanging out with the b'yes.  Tell me more.

His plotline:

Episode 1: While out ice fishing with his Dad, he gets a text: "You're a dead man!" .

Episode 2: It turns out that he owes $80,000 to a loan shark out west.  Two enforcers, the loose cannon Connor (Josh Cruddas, right) and the hesitant Mo (Matthew Worku, center), arrive for the payment.  Jay says that he needs another 24 hours. 

Episode 3:   In 24 hours, Jay delivers proof of residence in the town: when they relocate, he'll get a payout of $60,000. That's not good enough, so they start beating him up.  Dad Calvin intervenes.

Jay asks if they have a place to stay, and suggests a b&b (not the one his brother runs).  You're being awfully nice to the guys who were just hitting and kicking you.

More after the break.

The Homophobic Horrors of Gym Class

The homophobic horror that is gym class began in 1855, when the state of Ohio made the ill-fated decision to require it of all students.  It took off during the 1920s, when "physical culture" was all the rage in Europe, and students were doing gymnastics in the yard.

By the time I entered junior high, the diabolical structure was in intact.

1. The "class" was actually called Physical Education or "p.e.," but only girls said that.  Boys had to say "gym," even if the teacher insisted.  

Got that?  Better not slip up, or you would be called a "fairy" or a "girl."

2. The two most gifted athletes in the class would then become team captains, and choose their team members.  "Fairies" were constantly ridiculed and degraded during the process, and left unchosen at the end, while the two team captain argued over who had to take them.  "I'm not taking the fairy -- you take him!"  "No way -- no girls on my team -- you take him!"

Then we played a sport.  No instruction in rules or strategies -- the "teacher' assumed that we already knew the rules.  If we asked, we were yelled at: "Don't be a smart-ass!  You know the rules!"

3. In junior high the sport was usually dodge ball, which involves trying to kill each other with hard round projectiles while yelling homophobic slurs: "Take this, f*g!"

4. In high school the sports were football in the fall, basketball in the winter, softball in the spring.  Same procedure: no instruction, two jocks picking teams and deriding the "fairies" while the "teacher" looked on.

Football was the worst.  "Stand here, facing this big, hulking man-mountain.  You're going to try to stop him from passing this line."

I just stepped aside and let him through.

We also got brief instructional tours, single class sessions, of golf, archery, and tennis, barely enough to learn what the equipment looked like. 

And rope-climbing.  I never understood that one.
I was very happy during my junior year, when the "teacher" gave up and just gave us free days to do whatever we wanted.  I ran around the track.  No homophobic taunts, no humiliation, and no projectiles hurled at you.

See also: My Job as an Athletic Trainer

Daniel Doheny: Alex Strange Gay, a guy chasing a d*ck, a n*de breeder. With some karaoke and an Irish Short Guy

 

Link to the n*de dudes

When not-fully-clothed photos of Daniel Doheny in Breeders appeared online, I figured that he was starring in the tv series about parents who hate their kids.  No, that series aired from 2020 to 2023, and this Breeders is from 2026.  

Since breeder is gay slang for hetero, could it be a series about a gay guy trapped in the straight world?

No, it's a horror thriller about a straight guy who is kidnapped due to his superior genetic material and told to have babies with a lot of women. He refuses to do the act because of his girlfriend back home, so they force him to submit samples instead.

A big-beneath-the-belt muscleman.  I could see how...

Wait -- this is Daniel Doheny.   Cute, but he hasn't been to the gym lately, and his dangling bits are rather on the small side.  I guess that's the point: he's an unlikely candidate.  Maybe they grabbed the wrong guy?

Further research reveals that Daniel is best known for Alex Strangelove (2018): he plays a high schooler who doesn't realize that he's gay until his girlfriend figures it out and finds him a boyfriend. 

I stayed far away from that movie, offended by the low-scale homophobia of the title.  Not as bad as "an abomination," but I still don' t like gay stuff being slurred as "strange." Why didn't they just come out and title it Alex Gay People Are Deviant? 

So Danny Boy is going into this profile with two strikes against him, to use a hetero metaphor.

Question #1: Any other strange guy roles?

Daniel Doheny (the Anglicized form of the Irish Ó Dubhchonna) was born in Vancouver in 1997, and attended Langara College, class of 2012.  His  on-screen acting career begins in 2012, with some shorts, a guest spot on Supernatural, and Adventures in Public School (2017).  He plays Liam Heap (really?), a homeschooled boy who braves a public high school and meets The Girl of His Dreams.

Looks like we get a shirtless shot of Andrew Herr, who would go on to play a "he might be strange" straight dude on Letterkenny.

Next came Alex Gay Stuff is Weird (2018) and The Package (2018): Five friends (Danny, Luke Spencer Roberts, Eduardo Franco, and two girls) go on a camping trip, when Eduardo's character accidentally gets his manitou cut off.    It gets a lot of damage in the "race against time" to the hospital, including a scene where one of the guys has to s*ck snake venom out of it. Like gay bedroom stuff, Can you believe that strange guys do that, har har?

On RG Beefcake and Boyfriends: The impressive beneath-the-belt gifts of Alexander Calvert, who played Chad. 

More after the break