Erik Hesse: Immensely hot Short Guy from Reading, PA, with bad fashion taste, a job hugging athletes, and an eight inch tripod

 Link to the n*de photos

The celebrity p*nis site posted a video,  reputedly of ice hockey player Blake E. in the locker room, shoving his stuff at his teammates (photo on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends). Very impressive, and sort of gay-adjacent. So I researched him.

No social media presence, just his stats: Born 1998 in Macomb, Michigan, 5'9", 181 lbs, a hockey player for the Royals in Reading, Pennsylvania (the one with the railroad in Monopoly).

The n*de dude looks nothing like the real Blake E.  I think he was identified as a prank.  

But who is the hunky short guy with the farmboy innocence and a 1950s haircut?  If Blake is 5'9", he must be 5'8".  

He's journalist Erik J.  I don't like to give the last names of non-actors, but it's German, for an inhabitant of Jesburg, Hesse.  So I'll call him Erik Hesse. 

Erik grew up in Lansdale, Pennsylvania, a commuter town about 25 miles from Philadelphia. In high school, he played baseball until an injury forced him off the team.  He was also a sports reporter for the Knight-Crier. 

He attended Temple University in Philadelphia, graduating a year early, in 2023,  with a BA in Media Studies and Production.

Left: Temple University Campus Recreation.  Do you choose one, or take all four, or...

While at university, Erik worked as a server at the Texas Roadhouse and an anchor for OwlSports, and apparently won two Emmies.

On RG Beefcake and Boyfriends: I couldn't find any n*de Temple students in my files, so I posted one from. 

More after the break

If It's Tuesday, This Must Be Belgium

I saw If It's Tuesday, This Must Be Belgium (1969) on tv sometime in junior high.  It was advertised as a hilarious comedy about a group of Ugly Americans on a whirlwind tour of Europe, but I recall it as heartbreaking.   In fact, I was hesitant about revisiting it, for fear that it would bring back the intense feelings of longing and loss that had me almost in  tears as a kid.

When you find something heartbreaking that the rest of the world thinks is hilarious, there must be some symbolism.

The theme song, performed by pop star Donovan, is jarringly melancholic for the introduction to a comedy:

If it's Tuesday this must be Belgium

If it's Wednesday this must be Rome

If it's Thursday this must be Montreux

I fear I never wanna go home

If this is London why ain't it raining?

The sun is shining on St. Paul's dome

If this is real then I must be dreaming

Can't wait to tell the folks back home

But after that, there's beefcake.  Lots of it.  Ian McShane, the Swinging Sixties Bachelor who herds the tourists around Europe, displays his body frequently as he falls for and loses prim librarian Suzanne Pleshette.

Luke Halpin, formerly a teenage hunk on Flipper (1964-67), wanders around Europe as a hippie in painted-on jeans as he falls for and loses apathetic teen Hilary Thompson.

Even the hunky Sandy Baron, fresh from his odd-couple sitcom Hey, Landlord (1966-67), displays a toned hairy chest as he rips his shirt off and dives into a Venetian canal to avoid a marriage-crazy relative.  (Incidentally, Sandy Baron would become famous thirty years later on Seinfeld, as the doddering oldster Jack Klompus).

But beefcake doesn't make for poignancy.

Sandy Baron's character doesn't seem to be interested in girls, but otherwise I find no significant gay content.  No male bonding, no same-sex rescues.

So why was it heartbreaking?

Maybe it was the metaphor of escape. Dozens of Boomer movies and tv programs were about people trapped in a dangerous alien world -- Gilligan's Island, My Favorite Martian, Danger Island,  H.R. Pufnstuf, Lost in Space.  They are desperate to get home, to return to their conventional lives, to their jobs and houses and husbands and wives and stark heterosexist conformity.  But If It's Tuesday has it backwards -- the alien world is a Paradise, an escape from their conventional lives to a world of light and color and infinite possibility.

At the end of the movie they all go home -- you can't stay in Oz forever.  Yo have to return to your dull factory towns, abandon your same-sex loves for the doom of job, house, wife, kids.

I wrote a poem changing the lyrics:

If this is love, then why am I crying?
These tears are falling too fast to be from joy.

If there's no hope, then why am I trying?

I wish I'd never heard of  Rome

See also: "A hot groin and a tricep": Nude photos of Peter Hinwood, the original Rocky Horror. With Ian McShane, Morgan Jackson, and Chord Overstreet.

Sandy Baron's "God Save the Queens": The First Gay-Positive Comedy Album

"Slow Horses," Season 6: Gay Lenny Rush bonds with a hunky hacker and a slow horse spy. With Oldman and King Lear c*ck

Link to the n*de photos

 I could never get into Slow Horses, on Apple Plus, but when I heard that Short Guy Lenny Rush had a starring role in Season 6 (2026), I dove in.

The title may be misleading: "slow horses" are British spies assigned to Slough House (pronounced "slow" in Britain) because they screwed up a mission or because the higher-ups didn't like them. 

Boss Jackson  (Gary Oldman, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) assigns them dull, repetitive tasks in the hope that they'll get bored and resign. His assistant is former hacker Roddy Ho (Christopher Chung)

He butts heads with River (Jack Lowden, left), a promising young agent who made a big mistake in a training exercise, and was banished to Slough House.  River's Dad is the evil CIA agent turned mercenary Frank Harkness (Hugo Weaving), and his grandfather is the retired legendary spy David Cartwright.  But only Evil Harkness plays a role in Lenny's plot arc.

Ben Tavassoli plays one of Evil Harkness's assistant mercenaries.

Season 6, Episode 2: Someone is murdering retired spies, including former Dog (internal affairs investigator) Aaron Nasmith.  

His son Reece (Lenny), age 16 or 29, depending on who you believe, sees the murder, and is caught on a a security cam as he runs away, so now the murderer can identify him -- and rub him out.

Misdirection: two assasins (including Kyle Solle, top photo, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) are murdering the other former spies, but Reece's Dad is unrelated.  

Episode 3: Head Slow Horse Jackson and Hacker Roddy take the sarcastic, street-smart Reece into "protective custody."  He wants to play an arcade game, so Roddy lifts him up to the console and goes off to get coins.  But Jackson finds a burner phone in Reese's backpack with one number in it: Evil Frank Harkness's!  He rushes off.   

Roddy: "I thought we were going to play a game?"  So you were lookng forward to playing with the kid?

Reece orders Roddy to help him dowm, but it looks like he's demanding a hug. If I didn't know better, I'd identify their interaction as "he's arrogant!" argumentative flirting.

We discover that Dad was blackmailing the evil Frank Harkness over a stolen spy personnel file.  So Frank killed him, and he just had his hackers identify Reece from the security cam!

More after the break

Alex Sampson: How does a 22-year old singer/bodybuilder bring back West Hollywood memories? With modern singer d*cks

  

Link to the n*de dudes

Someone named Alex Sampson appeared on the teen idol site with a dozen flexing muscle photos.

Whoa.

I need a hero -- I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be gay
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight

--"Holding Out for a Hero" (1984)

Sampson or Samson is a traditional name for a muscleman (n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

I'm living in the forest of my dream
I know the night is not the way it seems. I must believe in something, so I'll make myself believe that this night will never go

-- "Self Control" (1984)

So who is Alex Sampson?  His tattoo says "The True North, strong and free," so he's Canadian. 

There's nothin' left to talk about
Unless it's horizontally:

Let's get physical, physical

Let me hear your body talk.

-- "Physical" (1981)

And gay, or at least open to gay fans.  An Instagram follower says, "No shirtless gym pics!"  Alex responds, "There are people here, Dave."  

People, not women.  He's aware that gay men are looking at his muscles. 

They say they have to see his real personality
That's alright for them, but  it ain't enough for me
I need what the eyes can see: his anatomy.

I want muscles.

-- "Muscles" (1982)

We've established that you've got muscles, you're Canadian, you heart Korea, and you're gay or gay-positive.  Have you done anything else, like..acting?

 Whoops, he's just a singer.  I don't usually profile singers, since I don't listen to music much -- it's too distracting for background noise while doing anything else, except maybe housework and the treadmill at the gym, and then I listen to the music popular during my years in the gay mecca, West Hollywood.

But how can profiling a singer born in 2004 bring back memories of the 1980s?

Alex was born on January 20th, 2004, in Atikokan, northwestern Ontario, the "canoe capital of Canada."  Very isolated, 2 1/2 hours from Thunder Bay. 

People always told me, 

Be careful what you do, 

Don't go around breakin' young men's hearts.
And Mama always told me,

Be careful who you love,

Be careful who you love...
-- "Billie Jean" (1983)

He knew that he wanted to become a singer from elementary school, when he sang "Gold" by Owl City at a talent show. 

Never heard of them, but the lead singer is Adam Young (n*de photo on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).  

Maybe he sings off key, but that's alright with me.
'Cause what he does, he does so well,
Makes me wanna yell,
Let's hear it for the boy

-- "Let's Hear it for the Boy" (1984)

He began posting covers on TikTok, and released his first original song in 2019. Several others followed.  In 2023 he signed on with Warner Records, and released several singles.  He was named one of People Magazine's Emerging Artists of the year.

More after the break