The Lost Bus: Why did my partner choose this verkockten angst-fest for Movie Night? With McConaughey cock, ten hunks, and "Que sera, sera"

Link to the n*de photos 

This week my partner Bob chose the movie for Movie Night, while I was still in the kitchen putting artichoke hearts on my salad: The Lost Bus (2025).  I didn't even get a chance to read the description, but we almost always watch science fiction, fantasy, or horror, anything paranormal, so I figured the bus would be lost on a creepypasta highway that never ends. 

Scene 1: The horribly run-down, drought-ridden town of Paradise in northern California.   Matthew McConaughey, the hunkoid we recall from Dazed and Confused, Angels in the Outfield, and Boys on the Side, is almost unrecognizable as a grizzled, depressed school bus driver.  He drops off kids at their houses. There are only six left.  Then three.  Then none.

"Wait -- is he going to get lost on the never-ending highway by himself?"  I asked.

"This isn't a paranormal movie."

No paranormal?  Well, that's ok.  Sometimes we watch comedies -- but this is definitely not a comedy.  Or mysteries, if there's a gay character.  So Matt's character is gay, and an amateur sleuth.  

Scene 2: The extremely depressed Matt finishes his run, parks the bus at the bus yard, and asks the dispatcher for an extra shift.

Matt's backside is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends. He shows his d*ck on-screen two or three times (as in The Lincoln Lawyer, below), but it's too small to make out much.

"Sorry, but drivers with seniority get the first choice of the extra shifts, and you've only worked here for five minutes."

"But I'm desperately poor, and I have several dying relatives who need medicine!" 

"Everybody who works here is desperately poor and has dying relatives.  Next!"

Fuming with rage over the "injustice," Matt storms out, gets into his beat-up car, and zooms down the country roads.

This doesn't feel right.  I put it on pause.  "So the dispatcher is going to be murdered, with Matt the prime suspect?"

"This isn't a murder mystery," Bob said.

And Matt's character is pure redneck.  There are redneck gay men in real life, but in movies they all live in Manhattan and own twelve pairs of shoes.

Not a mystery, not a comedy, no paranormal, no gay character. WTF... 

"Tell me he's not going to kidnap the kids.  I don't do movies about kidnapped kids, crying and holding teddy bears.  I was traumatized by the kidnapped boy whose Mom was singing "Que sera, sera" I can't even hear that song without screaming.  Let's watch something else."

Left: The boy was Christopher Olsen, in The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956).  I saw the scene while my parents were watching it on tv.

"There's no crime in the movie," Bob told me.  "It's a thriller. Number #1 on Apple Plus this week."  He took it off pause.

Scene 3: Matt the Straight Redneck arrives at his run-down dirt farm.  His dog greets him weakly.  He gets a call saying that the cancer has spread, and "It's time."

"Ok, that's it!" I exclaimed.  "I definitely don't do dogs dying of cancer movies.  Turn the darn thing off, now!"

While we were watching something else,  I looked up a plot synopsis: the desperately poor, dying dog, fuming over injustice stuff is a misdirection (also the disabled mom and sick son that we hadn't gotten to yet).  Matt is going to be heroic, saving a busload of kids and The Girl (America Ferreira) from a forest fire.  

"I just read a plot synopsis," I told Bob.  "It sounds awful.  Why did you choose that movie, anyway?"

He shrugged. "It sounded good, and Matthew McConaughey is hot." 

Beefcake is a legitimate reason to watch a movie, but I checked -- Matt is so busy dealing with dying loved ones and saving terrified children that he doesn't have time to take off his shirt.

No one else does, but I'm going to look for beefcake and nude photos of the top ten hunks of this verkockten movie.

1. Matt.

2. His 18 year old son Levi, making his screen debut as Matt the Straight Redneck's estranged, sick son.

Levi is probably gay, but he has no other acting credits, so I can't look for gay characcters, and as of this writing he's only been 18 for a few weeks, so I can't look for nude photos. 

More after the break.

"I'm Not Afraid": A gay subtext romance between Miguel and the boy his parents have kidnapped. With dicks, the Nahuatl language, and a shirtless Short Guy.

Link to the n*de photos

In 2003 I saw Non ho pauro ("I'm Not Scared"), the film version of the novel by Niccolò Ammaniti: Nine-year old Michele (Giuseppe Cristiano) befriends a kidnapped boy, and discovers that everyone in his village is responsible.  

Left: Recent photo of Giuseppe.  He may not be the Non ho pauro one.

So I wasn't planning to watch the 2026 Spanish version, No tengo miedo , on Netflix.  How could they expand it into a tv series without a lot of padding?  Besides, I already know the twist ending.  So do you.

Then Yago Sandoval (who plays the kidnapped boy) posts that he and Aldo Navarro (the Michele character) have "Amistad como portal amoroso."  Portal amoroso is used to convey the transcendence, stability, and peace that comes from romantic love.  Is he referring to their own relationshp, or the characters?  There was no significant gay subtext in the 2003 movie, but just in case there is here, let's check out Episode 1.1, "Brujas" (Witches).  

Scene 1: Miguel lies amid dead leaves on the ground.  He has wet his pants.  He asks "Am I dead?"

No, his friends are calling for him.  As he walks through the ruins of an old convent, he stumbles upon a deep pit, and at the bottom a boy, chained up. 

Cut to four kids playing soccer, pretending that they're Mexico vs. Denmark in the 1986 World Cup.  A Bully hits Miguel in the crotch with the ball, then kicks it out into the jungle.  He orders  the Nerd Chuy to retrieve it, "Or I'll kill you."  

Left: The Bully is played by Mauro Guzman, who is quick to point out that he and Bruno Strauss (Chuy) are actually friends.

The Teenage Felix arrives and tells them not to go into the jungle, because a witch lives there who eats children.  Then he grabs his brother, the Bully, and drives him home.

The others ride their bicycles home, discussing why the Bully is so mean and if there really is a kid-eating witch.

Scene 2: Teenage Felix (Cosmo Elio Gonzalez) and the Bully arrive at their run-down, trash-strewn house to see Dad keeled over due to drunkenness and the debilitating disease that they can't afford medication for.  They discuss how horrible their lives are.  Dad would like to hurt himself, but he can't afford a gun, darn.  

As the Bully goes off to fetch some rotten platanos for dinner, Dad asks, "Why don't we have a mansion yet?  You said you have a deal going on that would make us the wealthiest family in the world?"

"I'm working on it!" Felix exclaims.  He must be the kidnapper!

Scene 3:  The kids arrive at Nerd Chuy's house to see his parents arguing with Pino (Luis Alberti, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).  "You can't back out now!" "But I'm scared." "Have faith!"  They're in on the kidnapping, too.

Nerd Chuy stays behind to have dinner, and the two remaining kids, Miguel and his Sister, go home with Pino, their Dad.  I thought he was a single father, but his wife is there, being depressed.  They do Sister's medical treatments, which she hates, and have rice and beans for dinner for the 3,000th time.   Dad Pino promises that soon they'll be able to afford real food, and 20 tv sets so they can watch the game from anywhere in their mansion. 

The kids retreat to their bedroom, where Sister calls him Luis.  Richster Chava appears at the window to invite Miguel/Luis to watch the game in his mansion.

"But you can't go in there without permission!" Sister exclaims.

"Richster Chava can, and his parents are asleep, so they won't know I'm there."  Can't he invite a friend over?  Or are the bourgeoisie not supposed to associate with the proletariat?

Cut to Richster Chava and Miguel/Luis watching the game and being affectionate.  I'd call it a gay-subtext buddy-bond.

Scene 4: In the morning Miguel/Luis is awakened to the poor people arguing with a rich guy.  "Something must have happened!" "We had nothing to with it!" The Nerd  Chuy and his parents have vanished, and his house has been ransacked!  

Richster Chava, Miguel/Luis, and his Sister decide to investigate.  At the house, they find that Nerd Chuy's bicycle is gone.  If he was kidnapped, it would still be there. They conclude that he went to the witch's house to fetch the soccer ball, and got eaten. Then his parents went looking for him, and the witch got them, too.

They run to the jungle to investigate.  Shouldn't you take your bikes?  It was miles away yesterday. 

More after the break

Yani Xander: Headless ghost, Speechless body double, Telugu cop, hottest guy on the planet has a boyfriend and a tree trunk-sized d*ck

  

Link to the n*de photos

When I was researching the beefcake on the British Ghosts tv series,  I found Yani Xander listed as Headless Humphrey: a Tudor nobleman who was accidentally beheaded, so as a ghost his head keeps falling off his body.  Except Humphrey's head is played by Laurence Rickard.  You never see the incredibly gorgeous Yani, because at 5'3", he is inside Humphrey's body. 

One of the hottest guys I've ever seen, and 5'3"?  Sign me up!

He was born in 1997 in Burgos, Bulgaria, a resort town on the Black Sea about 4 hours from Sofia, which gives me an excuse to dip into my photos of n*de Bulgarian guys.  

After graduating from secondary school, Yani moved to London to study at the City Academy ((2017) and Anthony Meindl's Actors Workshop (2018).  He started getting roles in short films, like A Different League (2017), Alice and Jack (2017), and Refugee Point (2018).

Hey You (2019), only about five minutes long, has gay interest:  Two guys (Noel Samuels, Dmitri Spodobaev, top photo) are arranging a hookup. Yani plays a third guy (I'm guessing a bottom).

In 2019, Yani starred a starring role in the Telugu series Erra Gulabhila Govindu.  He plays a cop.  Wait, Telugu, the Dravidian language spoken in South India?  What's Yani doing there?    What's he doing in southern India?  And learning Telugu?

Next came three episodes of Alex Rider (2020), featuring a teenage James Bond (Otto Farant), his goofy best friend (Brennock O'Connor), and the Girl of His Dreams.  Yani plays the son of a Russian baddie. 

And two episode of Dangerous (2020), a "bland and cliched" Bollywood crime series.  So you're still in India, but learning Hindi, not Telugu

And 21 episodes of Ghosts (2019-23).

Also Yani was the stand in for J.J. Dimeo, the Speechless guy (Micah Fowler) when the gang went to London, and a body double for Joshua McGuire (left) in Cheaters.  Yes, he showed his backside (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends)

His most recent work is the British-Indian sci-fi movie IRaH (2024), a weird spelling because it's an app devoped by Hari Singh (Rohit Roy).  It falls into the wrong hands, and chaos ensues. Yani's character does not appear in the plot synopsis.

What else has he been up to?

A lot of traveling!

 Bali

Japan

Abu Dhabi

Denmark

Cambodia

Greece

Many more countries and c*ck shots after the break

Inner City Prettyboy: What's Happening!!

In 1971,  there were no network television programs with all-African American casts.  In 1976, there were six, including such hits as Good Times, Sanford and Son, and The Jeffersons.  But only What's Happening!! featured teenagers (yes, two exclamation points in the title).

It began as Cooley High,  four-episode summer series about the exploits of Shirley (Shirley Hemphill), a sassy waitress in a diner in a poor African-American neighborhood. If you complained about your hamburger, she took a bite and said "It tastes fine to me."  This was supposed to be endearing rather than cringy.

 The regular series began in 1976, in the the ABC Thursday night lineup of hip sitcoms aimed at young people: Welcome Back Kotter, Barney Miller, Three's Company.   The geezers were watching The Waltons 

The focus character was now on the bookish high schooler Raj (Ernest L. Thompson, right).  His partners in hijinks were the Kramer of the series, rotund schemer Rerun (Fred Berry); and Duane (Haywood Nelson, center), a shy younger boy who was happy that they let him hang around.  Filling out the cast was Raj's imposing, no-nonsense Mama (Mabel King) and his little sister Dee, whose catchphrase "I'm telling Mama" enjoyed a brief popularity.

What's Happening!! featured simple morality plays, such as about Mama being accused of stealing; Rerun getting a job on a dance team, unaware that they want to use him for fat jokes; and Raj having a script rejected, only to find the plot stolen.  But there immediate complaints about the simplistic plotlines and the cultural stereotypes. Weren't Raj and Rerun just a teenage Amos and Andy?  And Mama just a new version of Aunt Jemima?  Mabel King wondered why her character had to be a maid.  Why not have her go back to school, get a better job, start a business?  It wasn't happening, and at the end of the second season she left.  The show was moved to Friday nights, dead time for young people, then to Saturday, as a nonsensical lead-in to the oldster favorites Love Boat and Fantasy Island, then cancelled.

Without Mama as a moral center, the series limped along with low ratings and was finally cancelled.

But there was a lot for gay kids to like in What's Happening!!  

1. Minimal heterosexual interest.  During the first two seasons, no episodes involved Raj and Rerun liking girls or getting girlfriends (two involved Duane).

2. Homoromantic buddy bonding between Raj and Rerun.  In the third season, they even move into an apartment together.

3. Duane was shy, soft, passive, pretty -- gay-vague.  Maybe he had so many "winning the Girl" plotlines, because audiences need reassuring that he was straight.

5. No shirtless shots, but lots of bulging.  Duane looked good coming and going.

A sequel, What's Happening Now!!, aired from 1985 to 1988.  The gang was now young adults.  Raj, newly married, was a writer. Rerun sold used cars. Duane was a computer programmer with a spectacular bodybuilder's physique (but he took off his shirt in just one episode).  They also added a couple of teenage best friends (Martin Lawrence, Ken Sagoes).  The homoromantic subtexts were all but forgotten.

More after the break