November 22, 1963: Failed writer goes back to practically perfect 1960. Does he buddy bond, or meet The Girl? With Franco d*ck but no gl*ry holes

 

Link to the n*de dudes

I love time travel stories.  I've read all the classics: "All You Zombies," "A Sound of Thunder," "By His Bootstraps," "Mimsy were the Borogoves."   Time travel movies, not so much: they all seem to be about meeting, winning, and finding infinite happiness with The Girl. But when 9-22-63 dropped on Netflix, I saw that the disillusioned writer and his buddy work together together to prevent the Kennedy assassination.  Gay subtext -- ok, I'm in.

Scene 1:  Elderly Adult Education student Harry (Leon Ripper) reads a story about a boy whose his father murdered his mother and siblings on Halloween night, 1960.  Teacher Jake (James Franco) gives him an A+ -- right in front of the class.   What if he got an F?

Then Jake goes to the run-down diner near a horrible closed factory and orders a burger from elderly Al (Chris Cooper, backside on RG Beefcake and Bonding), who complains about his eating habits.  Not a good idea to diss the food you sell, buddy.  

The ex-wife comes in; they discuss his father's death, and then he signs the divorce papers.  This woman acts as if she is deeply -- very deeply -- in love with him, so why are they getting a divorce?  So they can reconcile later on, or just to establish that he's heterosexual?

Al goes into the kitchen for a few minutes, then returns, pale and haggard, and collapses.

Scene 2: Jake takes him home.  Big reveal: He's got cancer. "But you were fine five minutes ago."  "Come over tomorrow, and I'll explain everything"  

Back to class: A film about shock therapy in the 1930s, while students laugh and are bored.  So are we establishing that Jake is an awful teacher, or that kids today are awful?  

Scene 3: At the diner, Al says he'll explain everything  if Jake goes into the closet, looks around, and comes back.  I'd be suspicious -- there could be bodies in there, or he could lock you in and keep you a prisoner.  But Jake goes in...

And...plop!  He's outside the diner, but back in the early 1960s.  There's a billboard for Moxie Cola, and kids playing softball instead of scrolling on their phones.  So it's like the wardrobe that leads to Narnia, You can also go back in time via a secret staircase  (on Dark Shadows) or in an elevator (Time at the Top).  

It's a wonderful, joyous, absurdly idealized world.  I couldn't get a screenshot that would do it justice. Everything is very bright, with primary colors dominating. Delighted factory workers file out for their lunch break.  A milkman (Colin Doyle) drops a bottle, and exclaims "For the love of Mike!"  No profanity in 1960, har har. Three girls drive past in a pink convertible.

An old guy notices that Jake is from the future, and yells "You shouldn't be here!"   So he runs back into the diner, and ends up in the present day.

"You were just in October 21, 1960," Al explains.  The time portal always goes back to the same moment.  He doesn't know where it came from or how it works, and he hasn't told anyone about it. But now that he's dying, Jake has to take over his goal: to prevent the assassination of John F. Kennedy on November 22, 1963.  So he wants a random stranger to do the job?

Scene 4:  Jake accepts time travel instantly, but wonders why Al is interested in the JFK assassination.  "Because if JFK lived, he would have stopped U.S. involvement in Vietnam, all those boys would be alive, and the world would return to how it should be, always summer, primary colors, food that tastes good, polite kids, no divorce (hear that, Jake?), white men in charge (isn't your boss a woman, Jake buddy?), no gay people, and everyone joyful all the time."

Left: 1960s guys, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.

"Then why haven't you prevented the assassination already?"

Al tells him to go back to 1960, carve something in the tree outside, and see if it's still there today.   

Scene 5: Jake goes back -- same moment. He pushes off the "You don't belong here!" guy, carves JFK while locals glare at him, and rushes back to the present.

Left: Josh Duhamel, who plays Adult Education Student Harry's father, the one who murdered his family on Halloween, 1960.  Yeah, I thought it was fiction, too.

Yep, the carved JFK is still there. But then it fades away.

"When you return to the present, time will reset. You can stay for years, but when you get back, it resets. And no matter how long you're away, only two minutes have passed in the present." That's a lot of very precise rules for a magical gateway.

Oh, the reason he suddenly got sick: he went through for two years while Jake was signing the divorce papers.

"So if everything resets, how can I prevent the JFK assassination?"

"You have to go through, and never come back."   

I guess we've established, that Jake hates his job, he has no friends, his wife has divorced him, and his father is dead, so he has nothing to stay in 2016 for -- except the internet, global travel, medical breakthroughs, gay neighborhoods, cultural diversity....but it's a trade-off: life is perfect in the 1960s.  Um...I know this is Stephen King's nostalgic memory, but still, it's a little naive. Ok, a lot naive. Life wasn't perfect in the 1960s, even for straight white men. Remember "Growing Up Absurd"?

Al has prepared a fake id for him, a lot of early 1960s money, and a notebook full of sports matches to bet on, so he can support himself.  

Jake thinks he is crazy and runs off.

Scene 6: The Adult Education Program graduation.  Everyone is bored, not-engaged, not joyous, and the principal disses Harry, so Jake says "Screw it!  I'm going back to 1960!"

Al's dead, so Jake grabs the stuff, goes to the diner, and heads through the portal.

More after the break. Caution: Explicit

Stephen Geoffreys: The quirky queer teen from "Fright Night" and "976-Evil" bulks up and becomes a gay video star

Link to the n*de dudes

If you've seen Heaven Help Us (1985), about boys in a Catholic boarding school (on HBO MAX), then you've seen Stephen Geoffreys' d*ck and backside.  For now, he's the short guy expressing hetero-mania with Kevin Dillon and Patrick Dempsey.

Stephen was born in Cincinnati in 1964, attended a performing arts high school and New York University, and made his mark as a theatrical actor.  In 1984, he was nominated for a Tony for his performance in The Human Comedy, based on the William Saroyan novel.  

Then he humped...I mean jumped into movies:

After Heaven Help Us, Fraternity Vacation (1985): Two frat brothers (Tim Robbins, Cameron Dye) take their nerdy pledge Wendell (Stephen) to Palm Springs, where they compete over a bikini babe.  It got lousy reviews, even for a teen s*x comedy.

Fright Night (1985): Evil Eddie (Stephen), sidekick to high schooler Charlie (William Ragsdale), is heavily queer-coded; as heavily as you could be in 1985.  The Vampire (Chris Sarandon) seduces him like a potential boyfriend. Then eats him.

Queer-coded guys in horror movies!  Stephen had found his niche!  

During the next few years, he played queer-coded guys in episodes of Amazing Stories and The Twilight Zone, and in 976-EVIL (1988), his second most famous movie.  

Unfortunately, in the 1980s, queer-coded usually meant evil.  He found himself playing a nasty prison inmate in The Chair (1988), a nasty drug dealer in Moon 44 (1990), where he didn't even get to kiss Brian Thompson, and a nasty rent boy in Wild Blade (1991), reviewed as "a painfully awful piece of sludge."  

But he had performed Shakespeare and William Saroyan!  At this point Stephen gave up.  

On Hollywood, that is.  

He had developed a muscular physique, so why not find his new niche in gay films? First as Larry Bert, then as Sam Ritter, Stephen appeared in 29  over the next decade.  

More after the break. 

Graham Martillo: Ritzy private school boy plays lacrosse, takes his shirt off, hugs his boyfriend, buys a Porsche. With n*de dudes from Newport .

 

Link to the n*de photos

I think Instagram recommends pages based purely on beefcake photos.  One of these guys is a civilian named Graham, RI AOF.  I don't post the real last names of non-actors, so he'll be Graham Martillo ("hammer" in Spanish).

Graham is the cute one on the right, in a pink suit with a blue tie.  The guy in the blue suit with the pink tie may be his boyfriend.  Is this a real date, or staged for fun?

Graham has a rather thorough biography available online.  Granddad was an artist, and dad is an architect in Newport, Rhode Island. He attended St. Philomena , a ritzy Catholic grammar school, and then St. George's, an even ritzier private boarding school.  He graduates in 2026 or 2027, depending on which profile you believe.

I like how they pose in front of the Church of St. George, an incredible Gothic Revival chapel, as if it's no big deal, just the background of their lives.

Graham plays football and lacrosse for the Fighting Clams, and works as a caddy at the Newport Country Club, where the super-wealthy come to play.

I assume that he's gay based on the many guy-hugging photos and absence of girls.

Since I'm not sure of Graham's age, I won't be looking for n*de photos, but I posted three other Newport n*de dudes on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends. One has a tree-trunk.

More after the break

"Crew Girl": Private school girl on the rowing team must choose between two boyfriends. With a gay character and crew stuff

 

Crew Girl is the #1 tv show on Netflix.  I'm not really into sports, but maybe it will have some beefcake and other stuff.

Link to the n*de photos.

Scene 1: Teagan Tao introduces her parents, Dad David, who owns boutique hotels, and Mom Ella, who is deeply in love with him.  During her rowing competition, Dad gets a phone call.  "I have to take this." But before he leaves, he and Mom mention how deeply in love they are, and kiss. Do they do this every time they part? "I have to go to the bathroom.  I'm deeply in love with you. Back in a minute."

She wins the competition!  But Dad isn't there.  He texts "I'm sorry." Sorry for missing the competition, or... 

Turns out that Dad defrauded his investors out of millions, and scrammed before he could be grabbed by the FBI.  Teagan and Mom, newly impoverished, have to leave L.A. to move back to her home town in Massachusetts.

Scene 2: Establishing shot of the small town of Eagles Cove, established 1791.   Mom points out the Fudge Store ("nobody actually likes fudge"), the Crab Shack where she got her first job, and finally their new house, which actuallly belonged to Nanny and Grandpa.  Her grandmother was named Nanny?

Fortunately, Dad left an education trust, so Teagan can go to the ritzyEaston Prep.  "But their team isn't even on a Top Ten list. Coaches from Stanford were scouting me.  Who's going to see me out here?"  Everywhere in Massachusetts is less than two hours from Boston, New York, and Philadelphia. 

While Mom is unpacking, Teagan grabs a bike and heads into town.  She's so busy gawking at the rubes that she hits a pickup truck and plunges into the bed.  The owner is a cute teen boy, Cam Dillinger (Kyle Clark)  I'm guessing that this is a meet-cute with her Love Interest.  After a few minutes of yelling and some Boy-of-My-Dreams gawking, he offers to fix her bike.

Scene 3: Off to school.  It's a  huge Tudor-style castle (actually filmed at Hatley Castle, a 1906 Tudor Revival mansion in Victoria, British Columbia).  "Can a school have a British accent?" Teagan asks.

The student body president and dance committee chair introduce themselves. "I'm glad the school isn't all horse girls," Teagan says.

"Um...I'm captain of the equestrian team. What school doesn't have horses?"

A long haired person wearing a tie and sportscoat draws her aside. "I've never seen anyone unalive their social status so quickly."  I turn the sound on to determine their gender. It's a girl, her "first day buddy."  

Founded in 1798, Easton Prep is the "Harvard of high schools," mostly boarders, but some townies commute by helicopter. "Looks like a Skarsgaard convention," Teagan muses. "Who's the hunk?"

The guy in the blazer is Arrogant Josh (Samuel Braun), sixth generation Easton Prep, Prom King when he was freshman.  His buddy is Ryder, who has made out with half the girls in the school.  Heterosexual identity established immediately.  

"They only started admitting girls two years ago.  Great if you're straight, less cheer if you're queer." Sounds like the androgynous girl has come out to her new friend.

Next we meet the equally arrogant Leon.  "Stay away from him.  He's arrogant!"

"I noticed, sigh." So, will it be Josh, Ryder, Leon, or the guy with the truck?

Scene 4: Mom sees a "help wanted" notice on the door of a store that sells glasses and pillows.  The manager, Heather,  recognizes her from high school, and from "that photo of you lying by the pool" in New York Magazine.  So you thought she was hot?

Now she can't admit that she wants a job, so she pretends that she came in to shop.

Cut to English class, discussion of Byron's "She Walks In Beauty." The blackboard has "rebellious," "charisma," "melancholy," but not that he was bi.   Arrogant Josh comes in late and disrespects the teacher, Mr. Wu (not in the imdb or end of episode cast list).

Mr. Wu makes Josh read it aloud, and Teagan falls in love with him.

"What do you think it means?" Mr. Wu asks.

"It means Byron was trying to smash."

Mr. Wu doesn't like this answer -- "Just because you're the famous star of the rowing team" -- but it's completely accurate. Wait -- rowing team?

More after the break