Alex Sampson: Canadian singer with muscles brings back classic rock memories. With Sampson, Isaak, and Adam Young d*cks

  

Link to the n*de dudes

Someone named Alex Sampson appeared on the teen idol site with a dozen flexing muscle photos.

Whoa.

I need a hero -- I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight

--"Holding Out for a Hero"

Have you ever wondered why an unpronounced p is sometimes added to Samson, the Old Testament muscleman?  The Hebrew name is Shimson, "Little Sun," but it got changed to Sampson in the Greek of the Septuagint.  It's Samson in the Vulgate and modern translations, but the p remained in the surname, or when you're describing a general muscleman. Like this Sampson (n*de photo on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends)

I'm living in the forest of my dream
I know the night is not the way it seems. I must believe in something, so I'll make myself believe that this night will never go

-- "Self Control"

So who is Alex Sampson?  His tattoo says "The True North, strong and free," so he's Canadian. 

There's nothin' left to talk about
Unless it's horizontally:

Let's get physical, physical

Let me hear your body talk.

-- "Physical"

And gay, or at least open to gay fans.  An Instagram follower says, "No shirtless gym pics!"  Alex responds, "There are people here, Dave."  

People, not women.  He's aware that gay men are looking at his muscles. 

They say they have to see his real personality
That's alright for them, but  it ain't enough for me
I need what the eyes can see: his anatomy.

I want muscles.

-- "Muscles"

We've established that you've got muscles, you're Canadian, you heart Korea, and you're gay or gay-positive.  Have you done anything else, like..acting?

Whoops, he's just a singer.  I don't usually profile singers, since I'm not into contemporary music -- it's too distracting for background noise while doing anything else, except maybe housework, and then I listen to classic rock.  But I'm halfway through the profile already, so I might as well continue.

Alex was born on January 20th, 2004, in Atikokan, northwestern Ontario, the "canoe capital of Canada."  Very isolated, 2 1/2 hours from Thunder Bay. 

People always told me, 

Be careful what you do, 

Don't go around breakin' young men's hearts.
And Mama always told me,

Be careful who you love,

Be careful who you love...
-- "Billie Jean"

He knew that he wanted to become a singer from elementary school, when he sang "Gold" by Owl City at a talent show. 

Never heard of them, but the lead singer is Adam Young (n*de photo on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).  

Maybe he sings off key, but that's alright with me.
'Cause what he does, he does so well,
Makes me wanna yell,
Let's hear it for the boy

-- "Let's Hear it for the Boy"

He began posting covers on TikTok, and released his first original song in 2019. Several others followed.  In 2023 he signed on with Warner Records, and released several singles.  He was named one of People Magazine's Emerging Artists of the year.

More after the break

Kelton Dumont's Hot Photos, Part 2: Orson Welles, James Dean, Bam-Bam Rubble, and a n*de Pontius

 

Link to the n*de photos

This is a collection of cute/cool or hot/humorous photos of actor Kelton Dumont, best known as Pontius in The Righteous Gemstones.  As far as I know, he's over 18 in all but #2.  There are also some photos of his dad James and a few friends. 

1. "Punching or licking.  Your choice."

Am I licking, or are you?

2. Boating at dusk. I like the cityscape in the background.

3. Kelton playing Orson Welles in a Halloween broadcast of War of the Worlds. Why do you need to be in costume for a radio play?

4. Pontius is interrupted in media res

4. Back to War of the Worlds. Burgers with the rest of the cast.

5. A random photo with no connection to anyone in War of the Worlds, especially not the drama major on the left.

 6. James in Red

More Kelton, and maybe more James, after the break

Is Malachi Barton gay in "Coven Academy," about teenage witches fighting vampires? With Devon's d*ck and the Saved by the Bell guy's bum

 

Link to the n*de dudes

I read online that former Disney teen Malachi Barton plays a gay character in Coven Academy, about a school for witches and warlocks.  Apparently it's intended for kids of the generation that is not familiar with Harry Potter, The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Wednesday, The Winx Saga, The Magicians, The Golden Compass, The School for Good and Evil, or American Horror Story.  But if there really is a gay character, it will be worth the overused premise.   It's a freeform series, so episodes vary in length from 10 to 20 minutes.

Episode 1, "Hex Education."

Scene 1: Three girls on Bourbon Street in New Orleans. It's past curfew, so they take a shortcut to get back to the academy, and are approached by a handsome stranger.  He turns out to be a vampire, accompanied by a whole brood, who attack, leading to a bloodstained newspaper.  Shouldn't it be a bloodstained cell phone app?

  Cut to an airplane landing, and Goth Girl Briar walking in slow motion out of the airport.   She is rude to Uber driver Ollie, who takes her across the Lake Pontchartrain Causeway -- 28 miles long  -- and through a neighborhood of old Victorians to the Crestpoint Academy for Troubled Girls.  

"What do you have to do to become a troubled girl?" he asks.  Rude reply.  She looks at a photo of her and a young child of indeterminate gender.  Update: It's actually herself as a child and her Gloriously Wonderful Mother.

The academy: a run-down mansion amid overgrown shrubbery.  "Keep the meter running -- I won't be long."

Scene 2: Headmistress Graves (har har), that girl from Saved by the Bell, explains that they like to keep a low profile in the neighborhood, so they masquerade as a haunted house.  

Left: I'm sure you'd rather see Mark-Paul Gosselaer and Mario Lopez from Saved by the Bell instead (backside on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

And his backside.

Next Headmistress Graves (har har) checks Briar's file: "So, you were designated 'troubled' because you were snooping at a police station.  What were you doing there?"

"Something they're too lazy to do -- find my Gloriously Wonderful Mother, who is missing!"

"If you stick around, I'll help you find the truth abouot your beautiful mother." Beautiful, huh?

"Don't ever mention My Mother!"  You brought her up, girl.  "You're not worthy to talk about my wonderfully perfect Mother!" So, are you in love with her, or do you worship her as a goddess?  Or both?  

All of the glassware explodes, and she runs out.  

"It's not safe out there," Headmistress Graves warns.

Scene 3: Briar runs out anyway, and growling things appear in the bushes.  A voice comes from a storage drain.  "Now that your powers are active, you're wearing a 'Please attack' sign.  You'll be lunch in 30 seconds."  

She ignores them, but hears growling and stomping, and runs into the secret passage. 

It's Ditzy Girl (every focus girl has two friends, one ditzy and the other a fashionista). She leads Briar back into the academy and introduces her to Fashionista, who doesn't like her. Drama!

"Headmistress Graves (har har) forgot to tell you that this is a school of magic."

"Oh, like Hog..."

"Like nothing else!  No writer in history has thought of this before!"  The girls are studying general magic, plus developing their individual powers.  Fashionista can read people's emotions ("I know that you're hiding something!"), and Ditzy can turn back time a few seconds. 

Scene 4: Time for a tour.  Ditzy notes that there are boys at the school, too, like Teese (Nathaniel McIntyre).  They take different classes -- the girls' classes are strictly off limits, due to girl power and such. 

One of the boys gazes at Briar in love-at-first-sight horniness.  Hey, that's Malachi Barton.  I thought he was supposed to be gay?

Briar gets a tour of self-defense class, where the teacher destroys the practice mannikin, then gazes up at her in awe.  I guess everyone falls in love with her at first sight.

Next, the Archive, where all of the sacred objects are.  

They ask her to try on new shoes, but Briar resists: "These shoes belonged to my Wonderfully Perfect Mother!"  

Scene 5: Headmistress Graves (har har) asks Briar to stay.  She agrees to spend the night.

Whoops, she left her pink bag, which belonged to her Wonderfully Perfect Mother, in the Uber.  Could he still be waiting, after three or four hours?

Yep, he's there.  Ollie (Louis Thresher) is definitely smitten.

He hands over the bag.  In lieu of payment, he asks her out on a date -- but she has to buy the tickets, because he's broke. 

"Um...er...I don't know.  You seem nice, and I usually date bad boys.  But maybe there's one at the school, and I'll need a love triangle, so you're on."

While they're talking, Malachi gazes jealously down from an upstairs window.  You haven't even met her yet.

Fashionista comes out to snort about breaking the rules, so Briar has to go inside. 

More after the break

Oscar Chark: Lots of physique photos and guy-hugging, but has he played gay characters? Or posted d*ck pics? Or been tied up with Jason Priestley?

Link to the n*de photos

The tied-up actor site had some rather blurry photos of Jason Priestley and Oscar Chark in an episode of Private Eyes West Coast. I've already seen Jason Priestley's stuff (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends, so  I checked on Chark: an impressive physique, an unusual name, and an Instagram full of guy-hugging photos.  The dude is begging for a profile.

"Chark" sounds Charn, the dying city of the witch Jadis in The Chronicles of Narnia, but it's actually an English surname derived from the Old French charche (load) or the Old English cierre (bend in a river). 

The guys he hugs are mostly  co-stars, like Jason Fernandes, Robbie in It's a Wonderful Knife.  It looks like they have a gay or gay-subtext romance. 

Wait -- there's a gay couple in Knife, but these guys both play straight.  Robbie is the boyfriend of focus character Winnie.   Oscar is a guest at his Christmas party, who sneaks out to smooch with his girlfriend, and gets eviscerated by a candy cane ornament.  

This shot looks like Oscar and Rommel Mercado have a gay or gay-subtext romance in More Together (2024), but actually Oscar plays a guy who gets his girlfriend pregnant.  Can't get more heteronormative than that. 

You Are So Not Invited to my Bat Mitzvah (2023)?  Two girls are into the same boy, Andy (Dylan Hoffman), so they're not invited to each other's Bat Mitzvahs. Oscar's character is not mentioned in the plot synopsis, but it looks like he hooks up with one of the girls.

Tracker, Episode 1.1, "Klamath Falls" (2024)?  Tracker has to track down a kidnapped boy.  Oscar's character plays his brother: "He woke up, and said he was going to visit his Dad.  His biological Dad."

Let's take another look at Oscar's physique to remind me why I'm profiling this dude.

School Spirits (2025), Episode 3.2:  "Smug Senior"? Not mentioned in the plot synopsis.

The Love Heist (2026): A celebrity stylist and a hotel security guard (Peter Porte) team up to track down a stolen piece of couture, and fall in love.   Oscar plays Devin, his coworker, but I'll bet he's straight by default.

On RG Beefcake and Boyfriends: Peter Porte getting with Neal Patrick Harris in Uncoupled.  What guy hasn't fantasized about doing stuff Neal Patrick Harris?

More after the break