Iain Armitage: The young Sheldon Cooper speaks 8 languages, reviews musical theater, meets a lot of gay actors. But is he...of course he is.

 

Link to the n*de dudes

I didn't like The Big Bang Theory (2007-19), featuring Johnny Galecki as the (relatively) stable center of a group of wacky nerd scientists who can't get any  "big bangs."  The hetero-horniness was incessant, and there were so many homophobic statements that I was more amazed than offended  Wasn't Jim Parsons, who played the neurotic physics savant Sheldon Cooper, gay?  Why didn't he protest?  (Apparently he was closeted until around the fifth season.) 

But I liked Young Sheldon (2017-24), about Sheldon Cooper's childhood, growing up in East Texas in the 1990s with a conservative Baptist Mom, a macho football-coach Dad, a macho muscle-building brother, and...you get the idea.

I grew up in the Nazarene Church, which taught that Baptists were much too liberal.  I could relate. 

Plus there were lots of cute guys.  Sheldon's older brother Georgie (Montana Jordan) had musclebuilding plotlines before they switched to a "getting a girl pregnant" story arc.

If you're into chubs (and who isn't?), Dad Lance Barber had it all.

Next door neighbor Billy (Wyatt McClure) was too young to be hot, of course, but he had that puppy-dog cuteness that makes you say "Aww, how adorable!"  I figured that he would eventually come out, but instead the writers decided to give him a crush on Sheldon's sister.

And how about Rex Linn as Tom Peters, the longsuffering principal at Sheldon's high school. Wait, this is Simon Rex (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

There were no gay characters -- with or without Jim Parsons as executive producer, this was still a "family friendly" (non gay) show.  But also no casual homophobia.  Just a few references suggesting homophobia, as when someone suggests that Sheldon might be...you know, and Dad angrily yells "NO!"

And in Season 5, Sheldon tells his roommate Evan (Motoki Maxten) that he doesn't want to date girls because they are a distraction. 

"So you're into guys?" Evan asks nonchalantly.

"No, they're a distraction, too?"

Actually, he turns out to be asexual hetero-romantic, although this is never specified on The Big Bang Theory.

Roommate: "So you like guys?"

Sheldon: "No, they're a distraction, too."

The adult Sheldon is interested in heterosexual romance but not interested in s*xual activity (although he agrees to do it with his girlfriend as a birthday present).  The term for that is asexual hetero-romantic, but it is never explored on Big Bang Theory.

But I'm pretty sure that Iain Armitage (Young Sheldon) is gay.

More after the break

Bobby Hogan: From homophobic college to Parody Spiderman, with some significant d*cks in between

 

Link to the significant d*cks

"The Lake," from Season 2 of  American Horror Stories, follows the recent American Horror Story pattern of minimizing or eliminating LGBT representation.  In the first scene, three hot guys and three bikini-clad girls are on a boat, discussing how heterosexual they are.  Jake (Bobby Hogan) has a map of the village that was flooded to create their lake, so he and his sister dive down and look for souvenirs.  Suddenly a green tendril grabs him and pulls him into the muck.  He doesn't appear again, except as a corpse.  In fact, none of the cute guys appear again.  The story is all about sister Finn and her mother discovering the evil secret of the lake.

Heteronormativity or no, I wanted more than just one scene worth of Bobby Hogan's chest and abs, so I researched him on IMDB and his instagram, looking for beefcake and evidence that he is gay.

Not much biographical information.  On his Facebook, he says that he is from St. Louis and Chaminade College Preparatory School and Belmont University in Nashville.  Chaminade is Catholic, and Belmont is "Christ-centered," affiliated with the Southern Baptist Church until it broke away in 2007, and intensely homophobic. 

Bobby starred in Escape to Margaritaville, Footloose, and Johnny and the Devil's Box, and graduated with a BFA in Musical Theater in 2019.  

Wait -- 90% of musical theater guys are gay.  How does Belmont even allow a musical theater degree program?  Bobby must be gay or gay-friendly, but then why would he choose a homophobic college and listen to rants about how evil he or his fellow drama majors are?  I'm confused.

That better not be an alcoholic beverage, Buddy Boy

On WeAudition, advertising a service helping you run lines, develop a character, and so on, Bobby states that he moved to Los Angeles in the fall of 2020 to begin his film/tv career.  Unfortunately, it was the start of the COVID pandemic, so roles were scarce.  He has 10 listins on the IMDB, beginning in 2021 with The Superhero Diaries  

He plays a Parody Spiderman in 7 episodess.  I watched some clips on Youtube: a date with Harley Quinn, and serenading Wonder Woman.  Depressingly heteronormative, but he displays a nice physique and bulge.

After that, a lot of guest gigs:

Duncan in the 9-1-1 Lone Star episode "Red vs. Blue."  It's actually about a cops-firefighter baseball game, not red states vs. blue states.

 Marine Recruit #6 in the movie Manifest Evil.  The trailer shows a man interacting with two women, yawn.

The American Horror Stories gig.

Trevor Logan on The FBI episode "Fortunate Son." A teen shows up at headquarters with a bag of fentanyl, and wants the gang to find out who killed his father.  

A soldier on the NCIS episode "Survival of the Fittest."  He is attacked by a genetic weapon.

Cole on SWAT

Joshua in Remy & Arletta, a Christian movie about two girls who are friends (not girlfriends).  A Christian movie?   Figures.

Two episodes on Chicago PD as Noah Gorman, a teenager who leaves home after his homophobic parents denounce him for being gay. He is kidnapped, but mom and dad don't care, it's what he deserves for turning evil.  He is found, badly beaten and traumatized, but won't say who the kidnapper was.  

Hank Voight, Jason Beghe, takes him in, since he has nowhere else to go.  In the next episode, he is kidnapped again and killed -- not in a hate crime, just a regular serial killer, but still an awful "bury your gays" moment.  If you are gay, you must die.

But at least Bobby had no problem with playing a gay character. 

More after the break

Jakob Winters: Would a gay actor agree to star in family-friendly, gay-free "Mayberry Man"? Twice? With his backside and co-star c*cks

Link to the n*de photos

The Andy Griffith Show (1960-68) focused on Andy Taylor, as the sheriff of small-town Mayberry, and his mildly wacky family and friends, n a world where hippies, the Vietnam War, and the Civil Rights Movement did not exist (although gay-vague people did).  I never watched by choice: even at six and seven years old, I thought it unbearably square.  How about some science fiction, like Star Trek, or a hip parody like Laugh-In, or at least a show with cute guys?  No one in Mayberry was cute.

Andy Griffith went on to play oldster lawyer Matlock, and his tv son Ron Howard, to become a director infamous for turning gay characters straight.  Ugh.

So why does Amazon Prime think I'll "love" Mayberry Man (2021), "a family friendly film" that "will have you yearning for a simpler time?"  Those are two heteronormative gender-polarized gay-free red flags.  

The premise: A-list, snobbish, sinful Hollywood actor Chris ("husband, father, and Chris follower" Brett Varvel) is arrested for speeding in Georgia. Somehow it's legal for the judge to sentence him to a week at the annual Mayberry Festival in North Carolina, assisting the celebrity guest -- his estranged father, who had a bit part in Season 3 (for a show that old, you take whatever cast members you can find).  

He arrives all Hollywood excess, with his star-struck assistant Shane (Jakob Winters) in tow.  Both are seduced by the small-town charm and "good old-fashioned values," and meet the Girls of Their Dreams.  And God. And Chris reconciles with his Dad. 

The gay exclusion is so hot, it burns.  And there are no people of color, either.  They do have a woman mayor.  Shouldn't she be off cooking something?

I hate-watched some of the sequel tv series (2024), where they save the town from an evil developer or something.  The evangelization comes on hot and heavy:

Shane: "I hope no one steals the Baby Jesus from the Nativity scene." 

The Woman of Chris's Dreams: "Who would steal the Savior of the world?"

At least it has a swishy-straight Black character (in L.A., of course, certainly not in Mayberry), played by "Honor Thy Father and Mother" Christian comedian Christian McCartney.

And Jakob Winter or Winters (top photo) piqued my interest. For biceps like that, I can handle a little gay erasure and family-friendly fundamentalism.

I can't imagine that a gay actor would agree to appear in Mayberry Man.  But there are lots of beefcake shots available, and who knows?  Maybe he's accidentally appeared in something with a gay subtext.

He doesn't have a lot of social media presence, so I only managed to put together a few biographical details:

He's from Kenosha, Wisconsin., of German ancestry (another Jakob Winters designs violin cases in Deutschland).   

His mother has a different name. 

In high school he was in the marching band.

He was chubby and bullied until he started working out.

In 2016 Jakob enrolled at Ball State University as an acting major.

He performed at the Richmond Shakespeare Festival in 2018, playing minor characters in Macbeth and Florizel in A Winter's Tale. 

In 2020, he received a BFA in Acting, and moved to New York.

No Jakob Winter appears in any search of Ball State University or Kenosha, Wisconsin.  I wonder if he is using a stage name.

Next, his seven acting credits on the IMDB:

In 2020, an episode of What Would You Do?, a reality show where actors perform scenarios, and real-life bystanders respond.  

In a restaurant, a Bisexual Guy (Bryce Koehl, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) comes out as bisexual.  His Straight Friend (Jacob) says "Bisexuality doesn't exist!"  Bystanders rush to correct him.

In another scenario, his Gay Friend (Jakob again) tells him, "You're just gay and afraid to come out." Again, bystanders rush to correct him.

Performing in some skits that educate us about bisexual identity?  I'm shocked, Jakob. 

More after the break

"Happiest Season": Christmas romcom with a lesbian couple, pansexual Patrick, Jake's junk, and Candy Cane Lane

Link to the n*de photos

Happiest Season, on Hulu, is advertised as "A Holiday romcom about being true to yourself and trying not to ruin Christmas."  The icon shows three heterosexual couples, an unattached woman, and what looks like a lesbian couple, but ten to one they're bickering sisters.  

But the husband on the left is Dan Levy, pansexual Patrick of Schitt's Creek, and the hunky Jake McDorman, top photo, is at the top of the cast list, so I'll give it a try.

Opening:  They're a lesbian couple!  The opening consists of watercolor-type pictures of two women, a blond and a brunette, meeting, falling in love, going to a family Christmas, celebrating Halloween and Thanksgiving, exchanging gifts, and moving in together.  They kiss twice, so it's unlikely that viewers will identify them as "just close friends."

Scene 1: A residential neighborhood decked out for Christmas, called Candy Cane Lane.  A tour guide gives its history: it was started by Herb Flack, with his nephew Otis playing Santa Claus "until he was arrested for child endangerment."  A pedophilia joke?   The ladies are taking the tour.  The brunette asks the blonde, if she hates it.  No, but she's just not a Christmas person. 

 The rich brunette is named Abby, and the poor blonde is Harper.  Somebody goofed --  Harper absolutely has to be the rich one.  It's impossible to keep their names straight, so I'll call them Rich Brunette and Blondie. 

Blondie doesn't like Christmas?  A major crime in these movies, and in real life during the month of December. Rush her to a re-education center, stat!  Girlfriend argues that it's impossible to not love Christmas -- I've heard that argument a lot -- but Abby stands firm.

Next Brunette drags her to a house that's not on the tour and up to the roof, so they can look down on the lights.  "Now you love it, right?"  Sure, trespassing makes any holiday more festive.

They complain about being separated for the holidays, kiss and...uh-oh, the homeowner hears them.  They slide off the roof, destroying an inflatable snowman, and run away.  The homeowner is a Santa Claus dominatrix and her reindeer-costume sub, har har.

Brunette has an idea: she asks Blondie to come to her parents' house for the holidays.  Wait -- the water-color intro already showed them with the parents at Christmas.   She agrees.  They kiss for like five minutes. 

What happened to Herb Flack and Otis?  You can't name characters and then have them not appear.  We don't even see Candy Cane Lane again.

Scene 2:  The ladies' elegant brick house in downtown Pittsburgh.  Blondie works as a pet sitter?  Girlfriend must be an heiress. An old-fashioned phonograph playing a new song, "Jingle Bells" by Bayli, as Blondie says "We need to talk."  Uh-oh.  

It's nothing bad.  She just wanted to say that she got a substitute pet-sitter, John, so she can go.  Um...the first rule of fiction, even in frothy gay-positive fiction: there has to be conflict.

Cut to a coffee shop, where Blondie is giving John (Dan Levy) pet-sitting instructions.  Wait -- in the intro, he's celebrating Christmas  with the ladies and the parents.  I thought he was Brunette's brother-in-law, married to the scary-looking sister.   

John is distracted because he left last night's hookup alone in the apartment, so he has to keep tracking him to make sure he leaves.  

Takeaway: he tracks all of his friends.  This will become important later.

In other news, Blondie is planning to ask Brunette to marry her.  John is against it: they're a perfect couple right now, so why spoil things with an archaic assimilationist ritual, trapping her girlfriend in "the iron box of heteronormativity"?

Also: she wants to ask Brunette's dad for his blessing first. You've been reading too many Jane Austen novels, girlfriend.

Scene 3:  Establishing shots of their trek out of the city into the deep, dark wilderness.  You know Pittsburgh is just an hour's drive from West Virginia, right?

Big reveal: When Brunette said that she was out to her parents, she was lying.  They think she is straight, and Blondie is her "roommate."  So, you're about 30, you haven't mentioned a boy in 15 years, and you're  living with a woman. Girl, they know.

And they can't come out now, because Dad is running for mayor, and he's trying to impress this important, homophobic doner.  Sounds like the plot of La Cage aux Folles.

Besides, he has made it very clear over the years that he will only love his children if they are perfect, and being gay is by definition imperfect.

When they arrive, it turns out that there are three sisters and a scheming ex-girlfriend, all with long black hair, so I can't tell them apart.  But apparently they all have imperfections that they're keeping secret so Dad won't stop loving them:

Eldest sister and her husband are separated and divorcing, but pretending to be together.  The husband is played by Burl Mosely, seen here on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, where he sings "Don't Be a Lawyer."

Brunette is an imperfect lesbian.

Youngest daughter is writing a Harry Potter-like young adult fantasy novel in secret. 

 Pop Quiz: What happens next?

1. T/F: Brunette dumps Blondie for her ex-boyfriend.

2. T/F: John agrees with Brunette's decision to stay in the closet.

3. T/F: John gets a romantic partner

4. T/F: There are several other LGBT characters.

5.T/F: When Brunette comes out, her parents are fine with it.

Answers after the break.