Showing posts with label Lance Kerwin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lance Kerwin. Show all posts

Jul 26, 2023

Salem's Lot


Speaking of Lance Kerwin, he offers a strong same-sex romance in Salem’s Lot (1979), based on the Stephen King novel.  When failed writer Ben Mears (former Starsky and Hutch hunk David Soul) returns to his home town of Jerusalem’s Lot, Maine to exorcise his demons, he demonstrates that he is heterosexual by dating a glamorous art teacher (Bonnie Bedelia), but mostly he bonds with middle-aged men, the town doctor and his former English teacher.  Meanwhile, local teenager Mark Petrie (Lance Kerwin) finds that his love of theater, art, and his best friend Danny makes him an outcast in his small town. Go figure.



Ben immediately notices Mark and asks who he is, but he never gets the nerve to speak to him.  They stare wide-eyed at each other, but each looks away when the other turns.  Later, at an antique shop, they meet each other’s gaze, and each pauses as if waiting for the other to speak.  Ben smiles shyly: he is determined to wait for Mark to make the first move.  But the teenager quickly rushes on.

Soon the boys and young men of Salem’s Lot start disappearing, or dying of pernicious anemia, and returning with glowing eyes and fangs.  Even though the hard-bodied handiman Mike (Geoffrey Lewis) grows fangs after the English teacher invites him home for the night, most of the suspicion falls upon the elderly owner of the antique shop, and upon Ben himself, who was a child during a previous run of boy-murders.  However, the real culprit turns out to be Mr. Barlow, a blue-faced Nosferatu who likes to bite boys.

The heavy-handed association of vampirism and pedophilia, absent in the original novel, adds a cringe-factor to Ben and Mark’s erotic intensity.  One wonders why director Tobe Hopper didn’t cut the endless longing gazes and have Ben take a big-brotherly interest in Mark.  Surely in 181 minutes there's enough time for scenes with the two of them throwing a football around or going to a monster movie.

Or else cast Mark with someone much younger.  In the novel he is 11,  one of Stephen King’s stable of wounded outsider boys seeking replacements for fathers who are distant, dead, or psychotic killers.  But Lance Kerwin is 19, obviously an adult, not a child, and obviously in the market for a boyfriend, not a big brother.


And the wounded Ben, desperately seeking approval from father figures of his own, is pitiably unfit to be a big brother.  His mute, inept attempts at connecting with Mark suggest that he is fighting an attraction that he himself finds deeply distressing.

The climactic scene nicely combines staking vampires with staving off same-sex desire.  Ben goes to a standard crumbing, evil mansion outside of town to confront Barlow, and Mark, who was captured and tied up earlier, now escapes and literally bumps into him on the front porch.  They grab at each other: after three hours of staring, they are finally touching!

Horrified (but not shrinking away), Ben shouts “Run as fast as you can, and keep running!”  Ostensibly he wants to protect the boy from vampires, but Mark has just demonstrated that he can take care of himself.  Ben’s urgency seems precipitated more by the touch: perhaps it brought his hidden passion dangerously close to the surface.    

After Ben goes into the house, Mark waits on the porch for a moment, but he cannot run away: taking the initiative in their relationship, he confronts Ben in the crumbling drawing room.  “I told you to go!” Ben shouts.  “No!” Mark shouts back. He is not going anywhere.

Seething with rage and passion, they stand face to face, inches apart.  They must either fight or kiss.  Are they still thinking about vampires?

But then they are distracted by the gruesome death of the town doctor, the last of Ben’s old mentors.  It is time for Ben to grow up. The rest of the scene involves only a few words of dialogue, mostly “Mark!” and “Ben!”, as they stake Barlow, set the town on fire to “cleanse it” of the other vampires (the human residents have all fled), and head south in Ben’s land rover.

Two years later, they are living together in Guatemala (the surviving vampires are out for revenge, so they have to keep moving).  Both blond, tanned, and grungy, they could be brothers, but their unselfconscious touching of hands denote lovers.



One night the glamorous art teacher re-appears, a vampire with glowing eyes and fangs, and Ben stakes her.
We might conclude that Ben has finally exorcised the last of his heterosexual demons, that homoerotic love wins – except that the dread with which he first approached Mark has not subsided.  They have never relaxed and gotten to know each other.  In the novel, Ben wakes from an nightmare calling Mark’s name, and when he asks “Do you love me?”, Mark responds with a hug .  But here the two are still strangers, together out of necessity rather than love.

Salem’s Lot fails because Mark and Ben cannot express a coherent relationship. They are of the wrong ages to be substitute parent and child, they never establish a homosocial friendship, and their wide-eyed stares of unstated attraction never give way to tenderness or intimacy.  Both of the actors were comfortable with the possibility of same-sex desire. But the director linked same-sex desire too inextricably linked to pedophilia, vampirism, and dark sinister secrets to allow the love between Mark and Ben to ever break out into the light of day.

Mar 13, 2020

More of Ike Eisenmann

Speaking of Ike Eisenmann, most Boomer boys are so fixated on his beefcake scenes in Return from Witch Mountain (1978), or maybe his superlative performance as a racist in tight jeans who has a change of heart on The Jeffersons  that they don't remember a decade of buddy-bonding and tight jeans.












1. The Amazing Cosmic Awareness of Duffy Moon (1976), an ABC Afterschool Special about the friendship between shy, retiring Duffy (Ike) and outgoing school hunk Peter (Lance Kerwin).

2. The Fantastic Journey (1977), which had nothing to do with either of the two similarly titled movies (one about shrinking scientists, and the other about a dog and cat finding their way home).  This one was a precursor of Lost, about people from various times and places trapped on an island in the Bermuda Triangle.  Ike played the teenage Scott Jordan, who hung out with the mysterious Varian (Jared Martin).  There was also a prissy gay-coded villain, played by Roddy McDowell.

3. The "High Explosive" episode of Chips (1978), with Ike as a country boy who fires a pellet gun into traffic.  He's just aching for some hand-on-shoulder big brothering from Ponch (Erik Estrada), and favors us with several shots of an amazing aptitude beneath the belt.

4. The "Phantom of the Roller Coaster" episode of Wonder Woman (1979).  Roller coaster enthusiast Randy (Ike), who again wears extremely tight jeans, buddy-bonds with David (Jared Martin again), without realizing that David's disfigured twin brother is the sinister "phantom."








5. Preston, Scotty's nephew, in Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan (1982), whom Kirk calls "a tiger," and who dies trying to save his fellow crew members.






Feb 26, 2019

Dan Byrd: Nearly Gay

For someone who is just over 30 years old, Dan Byrd has an enormous number of acting credits, including more gay, mistaken-for-gay, and nearly-gay roles than any actor in Hollywood.

Born in 1985, the Georgia boy arrived in Hollywood in at the age of 14, and was soon guest starring on tv, in Er, Camp Nowhere, State of Grace, Touched by an Angel, and The Nightmare Room.  

In his first starring big-screen role,. A Cinderella Story (2004), he played gay-vague best buddy of Cinderella Hillary Duff

Then, in Salem's Lot (2004), he reprised the homoerotic-subtext role that Lance Kerwin originated  in 1977.  Rob Lowe played his boyfriend.



 By 2005, the 20-year old had developed a pleasantly muscular physique, and, surprisingly for someone who often played victims or comic-relief sidekicks, he was not averse to showing it off with semi-nude shower or swimsuit scenes.

In Mortuary (2005), Dan played boyfriend of a girl who has a gay best buddy.

In The Hills Have Eyes (2006), a remake of the Wes Craven classic, Dan played a gay-vague teenager who is waylaid while traveling through Appalachia by a family of mutants.


In Easy A (2010), an adaption of Hawthorne's Scarlet Letter, he played a gay student who  pretends to be straight to avoid harassment, but ends up with a boyfriend -- older, and black, which has to be a first in American cinema.

 Suburgatory (2012): An undercover cop who infilitrates the school to check for steroid use, but is assumed gay due to his interest in muscles (which, as we know, Suburgatory specializes in).




On Cougar Town (2009-2013), Dan plays Travis Cox, the college-aged son of Jules (Courtney Cox), heterosexual, but often assumed gay, and fond of "fake coming out" to people.




In 2019, Dan is set to star in the Amazon series Utopia, about secret societies, conspiracies, and an underground graphic novel.  I don't know much about his character, but his costar will be Cory Michael Smith, who identifies as queer, so maybe there's a gay romance.  Or a subtext.

  Why is Dan so good at playing nearly-gay roles?  Maybe it's his deadpan wit, or his unimposing hotness.  Or maybe he's just lucky.

Jul 21, 2018

Lance Kerwin: The Golden Boy of the 1970s



Fall 1977.  Thursday night meant staying downstairs with the family to watch The Waltons (ugh!) or going up to the room I shared with my brother to watch the ABC lineup of hip sitcoms on our small black-and-white tv: Welcome Back Kotter, What's Happening!, Barney Miller, Carter Country.  But if my brother wasn't around, I changed over to CBS before Barney Miller to watch the opening sequence of James at 15 

James (17-year old Lance Kerwin) jumps out of bed, checks for acne, does overhead presses (shirtless), swims across the pool (displaying his bare shoulders) -- practices the flute, goes skateboarding, photographs some iconic sights of Boston, walks in the rain, walks through a crowd -- and walks through the locker room (in his swimsuit). Teenagers had never seen so much teen idol beefcake.  

I didn't actually watch the show because it was almost entirely about girls: James dates a girl who is "easy," a girl who belongs to a cult, who's taller than him, who plays basketball for a rival team; "becomes a man" with a Swedish exchange student (whereupon the series becomes James at 16), has a disease scare. But just seeing James in a swimsuit was a queer code.

Lance had already been a busy child star, with roles in Emergency, Police Story, Cannon, Gunsmoke, Wonder Woman, and lots of others.  Even as a child, he specialized in contemporary angst drama, like:

The Loneliest Runner (child abuse)

The Death of Richie (drug overdose)


Four episodes of the Roman Catholic "contemporary issues" series Insight (on alcoholism, stalking, unemployment, and hydrophobia).


Five After School Specials (on bullying, stepparents twice, being short, and being poor).

The guy staring at Lance's chest in "The Amazing Cosmic Awareness of Duffy Moon" is Ike Eisenmann, who would go on to a future of jaw-dropping physiques.



But it was James at 15, with its controversial decision to make a teenage boy active with girls, that made Lance the Golden Boy of the 1970s.  He had one memorable foray into horror, a gay-subtext buddy-bond with David Soul in the tv-version of Stephen King's Salem's Lot (1979).

But otherwise it was a lot of angst with his shirt off: buddy-bonding with alcoholic high schooler Scott Baio in The Boy Who Drank Too Much (1980)

Dealing with his parents' divorce (in Children of Divorce, 1980)

Accidentally shooting Wil Wheaton in "The Shooting" (1982)


Being threatened by his murderous Dad in A Murder in the Family (1983). 

Eric Stolz played another threatened brother (n*de photos on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends)

More after the break

May 1, 2013

Ronnie Scribner: Generation X Teen Idol

Many Boomers kids began having kids of their own during the 1970s and 1980s, resulting in a second baby boom, Generation X, and a sharp increase in the number of kid-friendly tv shows and movies.  And child actors to star in them: Shane Sinutko, Moosie Drier, Lance Kerwin, Scott Baio, Chris and Patrick Petersen -- and Ronnie Scribner, who specialized in roles as boys who form emotional bonds with teenagers or older men.

Born in 1966, Ronnie broke into the child actor biz with an Afterschool Special, A Home Run for Love (1978).  He continued in the Afterschool-Weekend-Schoolbreak Special circuit with The Contest Kid (1978) and The Contest Kid Strikes Again (1979), plus roles as boys who bond with older men on Fantasy Island, Dallas, Chips, and Code Red, another boy on The Love Boat, and a girl on Little House on the Prairie.


But Generation X kids remember him best for three movies:

1. The Castaways on Gilligan's Island (1979), in which Gilligan and company turn their island into a Fantasy Island style resort and solve people's problems.  Ronnie plays a boy who runs away from his parents due to their pressuring him to excel in sports (a problem that many children of Boomer overachievers faced), and ends up bonding with Gilligan.



2. Salem's Lot (1979), the vampire drama starring David Soul and Lance Kerwin.  As Ralphie Glick, the first preteen vampire in the movies, he floats outside the bedroom window of his brother Danny (Brad Savage), trying to lure him into "letting him in" to be bitten.  It was a new, fresh, and chilling entry into the threatening kid genre.

3. The Long Days of Summer (1980), about Danny Cooper (Ronnie), a boy in the 1930s who takes up boxing to challenge a bully (David Baron), while his parents face antisemitism after taking in a Jewish family.

All of them have same-sex plotlines and minimal heterosexual interest.

By 1980, Ronnie was a full-fledged teen idol, with semi-nude and shirtless pictures in the teen magazines and gushing articles about his dreaminess. He also showed his acting talent with "problem" roles as deaf or mute boys.  But he didn't want an acting career. After a minor role in Split Image (1982), as the brother of a young man lured into a cult, he retired, studied business in college, and works today as a financial analyst.
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