Andrew Santino: Aren't gay men hilarious? But have you heard what they do in bed?

Link to the NSFW version

Today I started a review of Royal Crackers, an animated series on MAX about a family running a cracker empire.  As usual, I checked to see if any of the actors have beefcake photos or are gay.

Andrew Santino, who plays the washed-up rock star son: About a dozen beefcake photos.

Including a group rear.  Notice that the guy on the left has a cock hanging down.

And a frontal with a sock.

Gay: he's on a list of gay male celebrities, but there are also clips saying "Andrew responds to gay rumors," "I'm not gay no more," "Andrew finds out that he's gay,"  "Andrew's gay lover," "Andrew fails the gay test," "Andrew comes out."

Well, which is it?  Is he gay, ex-gay, straight, bi, pan, straight but pretending to be gay as a joke?

Who is this guy, anyway?'

He appears in Game Over, Man and Adam Devine's House Party, and later interviews Adam on the Whiskey Ginger podcast: "What was your worst review?"

Adam: "I don't really get bad reviews, but sometimes they devote three paragraphs to my dick and only two lines to my acting."

He hangs out with the Always Sunny guys. 

He has 40 credits on the IMDB, including substantial roles in:

 I'm Dying Up Here, about the L.A. comedy scene in 1973.  All fictional comedians.

This is Us, "a heartwarming and unique story of a unique set of triplets." Andrew does not play one of the triplets.

Beef, about a road rage incident that spins into a comedy of errors.

Dave, with Dave Burt playing himself as an aspiring rapper. Andrew plays his roommate and manager.

Ricky Stanicky: Three best friends, one gay, invent Ricky to blame their misdeeds on. Andrew plays the focus character, who wants to kill Ricky to get out of attending his pregnant wife's baby shower.

More Andrew after the break

Adam Devine's House Party, Episode 3.1: Hawaii gets gay marriage. With bonus nude Hawaiian dudes.

I'm not a big fan of Adam Devine's House Party, the Comedy Central series spotlighting up-and-coming stand-up comedians.  The two episodes I've reviewed were heterosexist, promoting "all boys like girls and all girls like boys" rhetoric. It's like crashing a party where you weren't invited, so everyone pretends that you're invisible. Plus Adam's persona is authoritarian, self-aggrandizing, and unpleasant.  But he takes his shirt off.

One more try: in Season 3, the party moves to Hawaii, where there's bound to be some muscle guys in Speedos.  In Episode 3.1, Adam marries a dude! No way they can do that without mentioning LGBT people. 

Link to NSFW version

Scene 1: Adam announces that for tonight's episode, he is taking over a resort in Hawaii.  Mary the Hotel Manager says no, he can't, because the space is reserved for a wedding. He'll have to do it tomorrow.  Adam claims that he's the one who reserved the space: he'll be getting married on the show tonight.  Ok, but he'd better get married, or she'll unplug the show on the spot. 

Intro: Beach babe, Adam kissing a girl, accidentally pouring ketchup on his pants. running out of the surf, a disgusting closeup of a girl's bare butt.  Guest comedians: Chris Garcia, Jacob Williams, Megan Gailey

Scene 2: Afternoon.  Darn, everyone is fully clothed except for a big-boobed girl at the drink stand.  Adam reveals to the comedians that he has to get married tonight.  Chris is married already, so it's down to Jacob and Megan.   

The two go off by themselves to discuss it: Jacob is heterosexual, so he's not attracted to guys in general, and Megan is heterosexual but not attracted to Adam at all.  But he's rich, so being his partner might be fun. They call him back: "One of us will marry you.  But you're gonna have to woo us." They act like this will be a forever marriage.  Why not just have a pretend wedding? 

Scene 3: Chris Garcia riffs on how boring soccer is, Hispanic-American culture, and comics who make fun of how their parents talk.  

Scene 4: Jacob is excited about the wedding, and the honeymoon: he has booked them the bridal suite at the hotel.  Hey, bait and switch writers: when the comedians say "you'll have to woo us," there have to be unny bits where Adam tries to woo them. Ever hear of Chekhov's Gun?

 Adam reveals that he's decided on Megan because she's a girl, and, you know, he is into girls.  

Wait -- Manager Mary is watching, so they have to act like they're in love. They should kiss.

Adam recoils in disgust at the idea of kissing another dude. He's always hugging guys, pressing foreheads, grabbing butts, even on this show. Here he has a group massage with Jak Knight and Brandon Wardell.  But kissing is another matter entirely.  I would never kiss a girl, no matter what the script said.

Jacob suggests that they move their faces together as if they are kissing, and grab butts.  Mary is satisfied; "They're boyfriends."

Scene 5: Jacob riffs on having sex with his girlfriend, and finishing too soon. I fast-forwarded. 

Scene 6: Manager Mary wants to know where Adam's fiance is.  He shoves Jacob out of the way and explains that they are ex-boyfriends. It's hard to get over him -- "I love cock!"  -- but Adam is with Megan now. She won't kiss him, but Manager Mary is satisfied.

Scene 7: Megan riffs on being attracted to men in boat shoes and the problem of doing female-centered humor.

Scene 8: Blake is performing the Adam-Megan wedding.  When he asks if anyone objects, Jacob comes forward: "We're both heterosexual men, but I need money."  

Adam objects that if he marries Megan, he'll get to have sex, but she is disgusted by the idea, and backs out.  So it's Jacob.  

Blake: "It's freakin' sick (good), Dude.  Love rules. I now pronounce you man and another man, they're both men, men together." 

Jacob and Adam shake hands and walk into the crowd, Adam grimacing in disgust.  At that moment, the real couple arrives.  Manager Mary says "I knew something was up," and pulls the plug.  The end.

Beefcake: Only in the opening shots.

Gay Characters: Never.

My Grade:  This episode, which aired in March 2016, is a riff on same-sex marriage, which was legalized in Hawaii in October 2013, and everywhere in the U.S. in June 2015. Everyone is completely nonchalant about it, which is a plus, but how about having some real gay people at your party, Adam?  And lay off the graphic display of bikini babe butts. C.

Nude Hawaiian dudes on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

Adam Devine's House Party Episode 2.9: Adam's orgasm, Nick Rutherford's bulge, and guys sucking....

  

Adam Devine's House Party (2013-14, 2016) is a Comedy Central series where Adam hosts a party in a gigantic mansion to showcase three up-and-coming comedians, with a brief story in between the sets. I reviewed Episode 2.9, "Flip Top Twins." because it features a lesbian comedian.

Link to the NSFW version

Scene 1: The gang is set up for the world's biggest flip-top contest (where you drain your cup and then flip it over).  Adam offers to order a pizza (for 500 people?).

Scene 2: The three comedians are hanging out when Adam appears, pretending to be his identical twin Jerome, from Germany.  He comes on to Sabrina Jalees, who is offended by his obnoxiousness, and complains about sexual harassment. 

He leaves, and returns as Adam, with his shirt off: "That's my thing.  I have the right combination of muscle and fat."  No argument there, Dude.  Adam explains that his twin is a sexual deviant who will try to mount Jalees, but she should give it a try because he is good at sex. 

Scene 3: Sabrina's set.  She saw a boy on the subway complainng because Vanessa wouldn't talk to him, and wanted to console him: "You have nothing to worry about. You're 100% gay."  She wished she knew at age 12: sleepovers would have involved titties.  She had a hard time coming out to her Dad because he's Muslim,and wants her to have 10 wives (that sounds Islamophobic).  Her wife's family are southern Republicans, but they love her. 

Scene 4:  Adam explains that he has another identical twin, but they're not triplets, they're two sets of twins.  This bit is confusing, not funny.  

Nick Rutherford's Mom (not played by his actual mother) is a big fan, and wants a photo with Adam.  While they are hugging, Adam has an orgasm.  Mom loves it.  He explains that he has a psychic connection with his twins, so when one has an orgasm, they all do.   

Scene 5; Nick riffs on why women don't slap dudes in the face anymore, and Skype sex with his girlfriend.  She looked like an angel, but he looked like an ape.  Right, women's bodies are beautiful, men's bodies are ugly, got it.

Left: Nick's bulge in Balls Out (2014)

Scene 6: The comedians ask Adam to stop the twin bit, but he insists that it's not a bit, so they decide to slap him in the face.  

Scene 7:  Pizza update: "We do not have it yet, but it is coming soon, just like the women in the audience, when they hear the voice of Jesus Trejo." That's way heteronormative, Adam: all women in the audience are straight?  You know that lesbians exist, right?

 Trejo tries to slap Adam in the face, then riffs on being weird and being a Mexican only child (hey, that's racist!).  Even as an only child, he still got hand-me-downs. "It's hard to pick up girls in your mom's blouses."  I fast-forwarded through this part.

Scene 8: Sabrina succeeds at slapping Adam in the face, but he refuses to drop the bit, claiming to be Jerome.  They finish the flip cup game, the third twin brings in the pizza, and everybody hugs.  The end.  

My Grade: Adam is abrasive, obnoxious, and not funny.  The fact that nobody likes him actually makes it worse.  But at least he takes his shirt off and has a (pretend) orgasm.  C+

Bonus guys sucking....on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.

"Adam Devine's House Party" Episode 1.3: A bisexual foam orgy is promised

Adam Devine's House Party (2013-2016) appeared simultaneously with Workaholics -- apparently  Comedy Central though that their viewers would watch anything with Adam Devine.  And maybe they were right.

Adam plays "himself" (with his usual goofball persona) hosting a party in a gigantic mansion.  He strikes out with girls a lot. Some of the guests play themselves, and others play fictional characters.  Comedians drop by and riff.  There are scripted plots.   You'll be reminded of the sitcom-standup mesh of The Larry Sanders Show a little bit, but it's really for fans of Adam's unique brand of self-referential comedy.   

I reviewed Episode 1.3, "Foam Party," because Adam is trying to get a foam-based orgy started, so maybe they'll be some nudity and gay subtexts. 

Scene 1: Adam charging admission.  His parties are usually free, but today he's got a foam machine, so there's going to be a redunk orgy, no one with crabs allowed. He invites the ladies to take off their panties (and dudes, if they're wearing panties).  

The full review is on Righteous Gemstones Beefcake and Boyfriends

"Difficult People": Gay and Straight Stand-Up Partners Insult Celebrities and Look for Love

 

I feel like I've reviewed Difficult People, on Hulu, before: an amoral straight woman- gay man couple (Julie Klausner, Billy Eichner) try various scams and manipulations.  It's probably just a common formula; American tv doesn't like gay men unless there's a woman on their arm to emulate heterosexual romance. But I feel an obligation to review it anyway.  I watched Season 1, Episode 3: "Pledge Week"

Scene 1: Billy has a gig as the bartender on a tv show, with Julie doing his makeup, but the star, Chelsea Handler, rejects him because he insulted her. 

Scene 2:  They go home.  Billy wonders if being mean is limiting their job prospects (apparently they're a comedy duo), but Julie says that being mean is their raison d'etre.  Meanwhile, Julie's boyfriend Arthur (James Urbaniak) is upset because it's pledge week at PBS, and his rival Chad Arrow (Robert Cuthill) is bringing in more money. I thought that the rivalry would be the B plot, but it's never mentioned again.

Scene 3:  Gay bar.  They tried to be nice in their comedy act, and bombed.  Of course, they were subbing for an insult comedian at Drag Queen Bingo Night, so perhaps the audience was expecting mean.  They meet a comedian whose act involves joking about her alcoholism while performing magic tricks.  Julie excuses herself so Billy can cruise Fred (John Benjamin Hickey), a patron at the bar.  

Fred: Can I buy you a beer?

Billy: I'm going to fuck you, yes.

Scene 4: The Cutting Room, on their date.  Fred is a dentist, so unfamiliar with Billy's world of celebrity trivia: "The greatest injustice in show business today is that Martin Short doesn't have an EGOT."  The performer asks everyone with a vagina to yell out "I love my pussy!"  To Billy's surprise, Fred yells it out.  Then she asks for a volunteer to come on stage, and Fred volunteers!

Scene 5: Over coffee the next day, Billy tells Julie that Fred is...ugh...a participator: "His hand shot up faster than Kevin Spacey's fly at the opening of Newsies!"  Who participates?  When they say "Everybody sing," who actually sings?  Nobody.  It's like voting.  Regulars Nate (Derrick Baskin) and Matthew (Cole Escola, left) chime in with their own stories of the horror of audience participation.

Billy plans to break up with him over this trivial flaw, but his friends suggest taking him somewhere other than a show, so participation won't be an issue.  

Scene 6: Julie's boyfriend Arthur is so stressed over the PBS drive that he hasn't done any of the cooking or cleaning.  They argue; Julie moves out, and goes to stay with her mother.

Scene 7:  Mom pressures Julie to quit show business, break up with Arthur, and find a nice Jewish boy.  Julie can't stand it.  

Scene 8: Billy and Fred at lunch.  The waiter brings cake to another table and sings "Happy birthday."  Fred joins in!  Billy confronts him on being a participator.  This is like an episode of Seinfeld.  She's a slow talker...a fast talker...she wears the same outfit every day...she talks to her food.  "I want to be ok with it, but I'm not."

Scene 9: B Plot: Julie goes to the PBS Station to mend her relationship with Arthur.  She tells the boss that they could increase pledges by being mean: "A PBS Roast!"  The boss is not impressed.  

Scene 10: Julie, Billy, and Julie's Mom watching The Big Bang Theory.  (Not a good idea to reveal the existence of tv series better than this one.)  They switch to the Pledge Drive, where Arthur is hosting a segment featuring a song from Hairspray, with composer Marc Shaiman on the piano.

"He's gonna get fired!" Julie exclaims.  They rush to the tv studio, where they run into Marc Shaiman, whom they insulted on their blog,   He leaves in a huff, so there is no act. Julie and Billy do their PBS Roast instead.  

Scene 11: They got fined by the FCC, but otherwise the Pledge Drive was a success.  Arthur took Julie back.  Billy tried to reconcile with Fred, but got no response to his emails.

Scene 12: Julie and Billy at a performance by  the magician from Scene 2.  Uh-oh, Fred comes in.  With a date (maybe Matt Talese?) When the magician asks for a volunteer, Billy raises his hand, hoping that Fred will see that he's ok with participating and take him back. His bit involves sitting in a red wagon and getting squirted on.

After the show, Fred approaches.  Seeing Billy up there embarrassing himself has turned him off to participation.  Moral: Never do the right thing.

Scene 13: They run into Martin Short at a party.  He insults them.

Beefcake: None.  The male cast is surprisingly unattractive, except for Fred's date at the magic show, who is not listed in the credits.

Heterosexism: None.  Julie has zero chemistry with her boyfriend.  He might as well be her housekeeper.

Meanness:  They don't strike me as mean -- their act just involves insulting celebrities, sort of like Kathy Griffith.  They're rather petty, though, like the Seinfeld gang. 

My Grade: C.

Joel Creasey: Gay Aussie Muscle God Comedian

Joel Creasey could probably make it big as a beefcake model, but he decided to go into stand-up comedy instead.

After winning the Best Newcomer Award at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, the "Acid-Tongued Prince" began touring all over Australia  and making dozens of tv appearances, on A League of Their Own, The Project, This Week Live, and his own tv specials.  He recently released his first DVD.

His schtick is growing up gay in a small outback town where wearing pink was an unpardonable sin and being gay was the equivalent of being a Martian.  He also riffs on pop culture icons, queering the texts of Aussie movies and tv shows, and talks about run-ins with homophobes today.

The best hate mail I ever got was on Facebook. This guy messaged me and said “I wasn’t homophobic until I saw you. But now I want to move to Uganda because you can kill gay people there.” I just sent him the link  to Webjet with the flights to Uganda and I said to have fun, but I’m not coming.

Some of his run-ins with homophobia are too shocking to become comedy material.  In 2010, he was invited to perform at an anti-discrimination event in Colac, a small town about 150 km from Melbourne.  He arrived to see 20 young men waiting for him.  Assuming they were fans, he got out his pen and prepared to sign autographs.  Instead they called him homophobic names, threatened violence, and chased back to his car.

But fighting homophobia is what Joel Creasey is all about.

 If you're not in Australia, you can see him on youtube.