Nicolas Hau and the mystery of the glowing cattle. With his d*ck tree-trunking, a n*de man in my room, and unrelenting gloom

 

Link to the n*de photos 

I started watching Half-Man (2026), starring Jamie Bell as a sort-of gay guy who has a sort-of homoerotic relationship with his violence-crazy "half brother" (Richard Gadd of Baby Reindeer),  but I had forgotten the intensity of Mr. Gadd's internalized homophobia -- until the depiction of gay desire as unrelentingly dark and destructive began.  So I dropped it. What's so horrible about liking guys?  

Next, in search of light entertainment, I checked the n*de celebrity subreddit: a morose white-haired young man sitting on his bed while tree-trunking.  In another shot, he's manipulating.  

I was fascinated.  What was the context?  How could anyone be morose while doing that?

 The caption said that he was Nicolas Hau, from the French movie  Like Cattle Towards Glow (2015).   You can't move toward "glow."  It would have to be a glowing object. 

A mystery to solve!  Was it a bad translation, or an old folk saying changed to gibberish with the passage of time?

According to his IMDB biography, written by himself,  Nicolas Hau "has collaborated with international directors and continues to develop a diverse body of work across film and artistic projects, with a strong interest in character-driven and visually distinctive storytelling."

This extremely pretentious bio is matched by two acting credits on the IMDB: the glowing cattle movie and The Aspern Papers (2018), based on the novel by Henry James: An American novelist wants to get the letters that Romantic poet Jeffrey Aspern sent to his mistress, but she has them sequestered in her decaying Venetian mansion. 

Jonathan Rhys Meyers (n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) stars. Nicolas plays the bi poet Lord Byron.

It grossed $9,700 in the U.S, and got reviews like "Awful!" "Pretentious drivel!" "Boring!"

Well, it's Henry James.  What do you expect?

Nicolas' resume also lists three theatrical credits:

Bottom in A Midsummer Night's Dream

Benjamin in The Graduate, the part originally played by Dustin Hoffman.

And Einar Wegener in Danish Girl.  In 1920s Copenhagen, Einar develops a female persona named Lili, and with the support of his wife, gradually acknowledges a female gender identity.  Lili was a pioneer in transgender history as the first person to undergo gender reassignment surgery.  In the 2015 movie, she was played by Eddie Redmayne (n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

Nowadays Nicolas is mostly a model.  His credits on Models.com include Vogue, the covers of Stylist and Beauty magazines, walking for Ferderico Curradi and Peuteray, "Bizarre Love Triangle" (behind a paywall), and whatever this is.

The samples he uploads to his Instagram mostly show him looking bored and pretentious while hugging a semi-n*de lady.  This is one of the few where he's alone, putting on a Gaucho outfit for a shoot.

The glowing cattle and the tree-trunking photo that sent me down this internet rabbit hole after the break

Ben Pajak plays the gay kids of Wolverine and Paul Blart, Harvey Milk, Max von Essen's buddy, and a gay Corey Haim. But is he...

Link to the n*de photos

The Lost Boys (1987) starred teen idol Corey Haim as Sam, a teenager trying to save his older brother (Jason Patric) from a pack of motorcycle-riding, leather jacket-wearing vampires. Sam is as gay as you could portray in the homophobic 1980s:he takes a bubble bath, has a poster of heartthrob Rob Lowe on his bedroom wall, wears a "Born to Shop" t-shirt, and sings that "I'm a lonely girl, ain't got a man."  That's not enough for most fans, of course, who proclaim loudly, "Straight guys do that!  It doesn't make him gay!"

Jason Patric n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends,

A musical version of the iconic film opened on Broadway in April 2026, with the same plotline: single Mom Lucy and her two sons move to Santa Carla, the murder capital of the West Coast, where older brother Michael (LJ Benet, left), falls in with a crowd of rock star vampires. 

 But 40 years have passed, and his relationship with the vampire David (Ali Louis Bourzgui) can be openly homoerotic:

Wanna get you alone / Caress your collarbone / No preacher would condone / What I would do to you, baby

And now younger brother Sam (Benjamin Pajak) can be overtly, obviously, coming-out speech gay:

Maybe I can be a hero here/ And make it cool to be queer/ Maybe that's my superpower.

Wait -- Benjamin Pajak.    Wasn't he in Playdate?   Paul Blart is trying to de-gay his shirt-raiser stepson Lucas  (Ben) by teaching him football, when they run into Reacher and his sociallly awkward son CJ (Banks Pierce).  The two boys hit it off instantly, so the dads arrange a playdate.  But government agents or evil corporate clones are after CJ, and...it gets weirder and weirder, with multiple plot holes, but dang it, those boys are obviously into each other.  They do everything but kiss.  

That's one gay and one "an inch away from flying a Pride Flag" role.  I need to do a profile of this kid.

Benjamin Pajak was born in March 2011, in Westfield, New Jersey, about 20 miles from Manhattan.   The family is Jewish but not observant.  The Paper Mill Theater was across the back yard, so acting and singing were an ever-present part of life. 

He made his Broadway debut  in The Music Man (2021): con artist Harold Hill (Wolverine Hugh Jackman, left) wooes the prim-and-proper Marian the Librarian.  Her younger brother  Winthrop (Ben) rejects a date request from a girl and speaks with a gay-stereotype lisp, which he overcomes with Harold's mentorship. If I was writing a scholarly article about musicals, I'd have a lot of fun queering that text.

Three gay and gay-light roles so far.

In June 2023, Ben performed as the Young Harvey in the oratorio I am Harvey Milk, about the assassinated gay rights leader. 

Four for four, Ben Baby.

He has also performed in Oliver!, Golden Rainbow, Nine, and Ragtime.  His songs appear in four albums: Rails, Figaro, The Music Man, and Christmas Time in the City.

More after the break.

Pontius Gemstone and the Boy Named Stacy: What happened after the Gator Farm Massacre?

Link to the n*de photos and s*xual content

Note: This story takes place about a week after the Gator Farm Massacre in Righteous Gemstones Episode 4.8

July 7, 2025:

Stacy woke slowly, his eyes gradually adjusting to the hospital room. The monitors on his left side, the nightstand with cards and books on the right.  The window that looked out onto the parking lot, with maybe a little green beyond.  A countertop loaded down with "Get Well" balloons.  Two chairs -- wait, there was a figure sitting in one.  His eyes weren't focused yet -- who was it, his brother?

"You're not here to tell me how lucky I am, are you?  Another inch, and the bullet would have hit my aorta, and I would have bled out before the paramedics arrived?  God was watching over me, but not the 17 men that Cobb killed?"

"Hell, no."  Stacy recognized the voice...but...the guy slid his chair over to the bed with a loud screech.  His friend Pontius!  Well, not really a friend -- Stacy had seen him on tv and at the Salvation Center, of course, but they didn't really meet until he started going to the skate park last month, and they had only spoken a few times..   "I'm here to tell you to get well, so I can get back to watching you wipe out your *ss on the tail slides. "

"Har-har, big joke.  Dude, you know you're a wannabe mobber.  Just wait til I get back to that skatepark."  He hadn't realized how much he missed skating, and jamming about skating.

Pontius grabbed Stacy's free hand and pressed it against his own.  "I brought you some chocolate Turtles, 'cause you know, you're into reptiles, working at the Gator Farm, but they accidentally got eaten in the car on the way over."

"Jackass!" 

He laughed.  Stacy felt surprisingly happy to see him. His brash, no-nonsense attitude was the perfect remedy to a week of "God had his hand on you!"

"I wanna know what it was like to work for Jeffrey Dahmer.  Did Cobb like, give you body parts to feed to the gators?"

"It was weird.  I liked working at the Gator Farm. Cobb was so nice to me, always asking about my classes and the Salvation Center, and and all the time he was killing people, and he kept that guy Big Dick as a slave, like five feet from where I was mopping the floor."

"Yeah, dude, if you knew, you could have splattered the mother-f*cker!"  

"Hey, do you think he was asking so many questions because he was keeping tabs on your Grandad?"  

"Probably.  Seems like every year, some guy pops up with a grudge against my Grandad, the World Famous Eli Gemstone or whatever."  He reached up and squeezed Stacy's left shoulder.  "Does this hurt?'

"No.  I was shot in my right..."

"How about this?"  He moved his hand down to Stacy's crotch and squeezed.

"Hey, knock it off!"

"Just checking to see if your junk still works. Scoot over."  Pontius slid onto the bed next to him, so their thighs and legs were touching, and grabbed the tv remote.  "You get any p*rn on this thing?" 

"I don't think you're supposed to do that." 

"So call a nurse and complain."  

Stacy had never sat pressed against someone before, except maybe his brother when they were little.  He dated a couple of girls, back before he figured out that he was gay, but they never did any hugging, just handshakes and goodnight pecks.  He had been with two guys, but they were just hookups, don't say hello in the hallway the next day.  Was this what having a boyfriend felt like? Were they cuddling?  

Wait -- wasn't Pontius straight?

Pontius was casually clicking on the remote as if the closeness didn't bother him at all. Flustered, Stacy tried to think of something simple to talk about. "Did you know that your Grandad visits me every day?  Your brother Gideon has been by, and Kelvin.."

Uh-oh, Pontius took that as an accusation.  "I would have come before, but I've been busy.  Gideon is starting a new Christian-themed skatepark.  I'm going to be the manager"  He stopped on Spongebob Squarepants, then put down the remote and took Stacy's hand.  Their fingers interlocked.

They watched in silence for a few minutes.

"This is nice," Stacy said.

Pontius started to blush, a reddening in his neck and face.  "Yeah, well, touching a dude is good for healing, or some New Age bullshit." 

He had a thin, tight frame, small hard biceps, some cool tattoos, and the most beautiful hands.  Why had Stacy never thought of asking him out?  

Reason #1: Stacy was a straight-A student at the College of Charleston, a biology major, planning to become a herpetologist. And Pontius was kind of a screw-up.  Fun to hang out with, but no goals, no future.  Wait -- managing a Christian-themed skate park?  

Reason #2: Wasn't he straight?

"I've seen this episode," Pontius complained.  Let's find some chicks, or some dudes."  He clicked until he found a soap opera with a shirtless hunk sitting on a couch. "Awright! Check out those pecs! Man, I'd love to be working on those."

"I thought you were...you know...you like girls."

The full story, with n*de photos and ex*plicit situations, is on RB Beefcake and Boyfriends

See also: "Dad Can't Know I'm Gay": An Abraham Gemstone Romance, with a special appearance from Pontius and Stacy

Jackson Tessmer: from Hebrew School to toga parties, with angst tv, Christian drama, Asa Butterfield, and n*de selfies

Pontius Gemstone, the Boy Named Stacy, and the Erotic Alphabet

Reacher, Episode 3.1: The man-mountain bonds with a gay college boy with a drug dealer dad, and there are plot twists and d*cks

Nick Vardakas: Sex toy guy, lucky f*king dude, Atari spirit, Dillon's boyfriend, IT major. A lot of d*ck pics, but is he gay?

Fabrizio Guido: The vampire hunter's gay bestie becomes a juggalo, poses n*de, joins a basketball franchise. With Drew Tarver

 

Link to the n*de dudes

Black as Night (2021) stars Asiha Cooper as a teenager girl in post-Hurricane Katrina New Orleans, who discovers that vampires are targeting the homeless population, including her own mother. She and her crew, crush Chris (Mason Beauchamp), gay bff Pedro (Fabrizio Guido), , and the local It-Girl, become vampire hunters.  

Director Mariette Lee Go tried to break away from the gay bestie stereotype with Pedro, and give him motives and goals of his own: he has to choose between going to a prestigious college and staying home to take care of his family.  Of course, he vampirizes at the end, in a bury-your-gays cliche, but you can't have everything.

Fabrizio Guido is a Short Guy with a nice physique.  And he's playing a gay character in his first major role?  I wonder if he's gay in real life.

He weas born in Los Angeles in 1999, the son of actress Jacqueline Calderon-Guido, who put him to work almost immediately, in the shorts Juan the Brave (2004), Transa-Action (2005), The Monster (2008), and 116 Seconds (2009).  

His first movie role was in World War Z (2013) as Tomas, a young boy whose parents die in the zombie Apocalypse.  He joins Brad Pitt's family as they flee from zombie-infested Los Angeles, and ends up on the rescue ship.  He was named "best scene stealer" by the other cast members.

Then came Welcome to the Family (2013), about a Hispanic boy who marries an Anglo girl, each with bickering family members. Fabrizio played Demetrio, the boy's brother.  Ten episodes were filmed, but the series was yanked after three due to the terrible reviews.

Family (2018) is on the list of Fabrizio's "known for" roles: An "emotionally stunted aunt" tries to bond with her teenage niece, who wants to run away and become a juggalo.  I thought that juggalo was a misspelling of gigolo, a male prostitute, but it actually means a groupie of the band Insane Clown Posse. So why the generic name that tells you nothing of what the movie is about? Why not Juggalo?

Niece Maddie meets juggalo Dennis (Fabrizio), and brings him home.  He explains that the juggalos are a "supportive community of misfits," and Auntie Kate allows him to stay.  So, are they friends, or dating?  The wikipedia synopsis doesn't clarify.

Mr. Iglesias (2019-22), starring comedian Gabriel Iglesias, was a modern day Welcome Back Carter, with Fabrizio in 22 episodes as a hetero-horny student.

 Meanwhile, Fabrizio appeared in some film shorts.  I don't see a lot of gay content in them.

He wrote and directed Dog Days (2018): Brandon (Nick Alvarez) is invited to a party by a "potential love interest."  The description doesn't specify, so it could be a guy, right?  Wrong, it's a girl.

College Town (2019): The "hottest girl in town" agrees to hook up with John (Michael Shackett) if he can get some weed.

More after the break.  

Andrew Stevens: Teen idol gave us queer codes in "The Fury," took off his shirt a lot, but never played a gay guy again

Nazarenes weren't allowed to go to movie theaters, so during my senior year in high school, I began telling my parents I was heading to the library or a friend's house, and sneaking out to the Showcase Cinemas to see The Chicken Chronicles (Steve Guttenberg, sigh), Close Encounters of the Third Kind, High Anxiety, Coma, The End, Big Wednesday, and in March 1978, The Fury:  Robin (Andrew Stevens, top), who has psychic powers, is kidnapped, so his Dad, former CIA agent Peter (Kirk Douglas, bottom) enlists a girl with psychic powers to find him.  

Everyone is heterosexual, and the guys both die at the end, which would be a major red flag today, but as a high schooler a few months away from recognizing that I was gay, I found many queer codes and a lot of beefcake. 

I had some idea that Andrew became a member of the Brat Pack in the 1980s, starred in some buddy-bonding angst dramas, and was called a "f*g" by Molly Ringwald (who would go on to play a pro-gay Mom in Stranger Things).  But that turns out to be Andrew McCarthy.  I haven't seen Andrew Stevens in anything else.  Here's why.

Born in 1955 in Memphis, Andrew started his career as a cute teenager, subtly muscular, with shaggy hair and a goofy smile, for "heartwarming" roles as cute or wounded kids in tv series like Apple's Way (1974), Police Story (1975), and Shazam! (1976).  I didn't like heartwarming.

In the 1980s, hair straightened, muscles bulging, tanned, Andrew began playing  suave playboys or con artists in the tv soaps Emerald Point N.A.S , Dallas, and Hotel.

Soap operas?  No way!



















More after the break

Tristan Borders pushed up the queer codes as Young Kelvin Gemstone, but what about his other roles? With twink bottom and Cleveland c*ck

   

Link to the n*de photos

For a long time, I've been wanting to do a profile of Tristan Borders, who played the young Kelvin in the flashback episodes of The Righteous Gemstones, and gave us so many intentional and unintentional clues to Kelvin's identity -- more than Adam Devine himself, back when most fans were still yelling "He's not gay, just sensitive!"  

In the Season 2 flashback to 1993, four year old Kelvin has two dolls in his bedroom, and  a Muscle and Fitness cover taped to his wall.

In the Season 3 Interlude, a flashback to the summer of 2000, eleven-year old Kelvin complains that his sister forces him to come to the mall with her, to act as a distraction while she shoplifts.  She also criticizes him for having "a tiny little doll p*cker," starting an obsession with his size that will bedevil Kelvin through his life and, in 2023, make him reluctant to begin bedroom activities with his boyfriend Keefe.

Young Kelvin also wears a t-shirt with hibiscus flowers in the colors of the Pride Flag.

In the Season 4 Interlude, set in the summer of 2003, Young Kelvin is obviously gay, with a number of feminine mannerisms and an interest in teen idols.  He is a snob and a jerk, constantly denigrating his siblings and their friend Corey.  In a pivotal scene, he is alone in the house when Cobb breaks in to destroy things and steal the family heirloom Gold Bible.

Tristan doesn't have a social media presence, and there's no biographical information online, so all I can use for a profile are his other roles on the iMDB.

His career begins with two episodes of American Rust (2021), with a rust-belt police chief investigating the murder of flawed, troubled cop Pete Novick (Jim Frost, backside on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).  Tristan plays Pete's son.

Then two episodes of The First Lady (2022), about three first ladies: Eleanor Roosevelt, Betty Ford, and Michelle Obama. Tristan plays John Roosevelt (1916-91), young son of Franklin (queer actor Charlie Plummer) and Eleanor (gay in real life).

More after the break

Top 18 civilian bodybuilders and musclemen, from the Scharf Brothers to the "beautiful boyfriend" from Bühl

Link to the n*de photos

I usually profile actors in television and movies, but sometimes a civilian -- a non-actor -- is too hot to pass up.  They may be bodybuilders, musicians, sports figures, reality tv stars, or just muscular guys with cute faces and impressive c*cks.  If they're not celebrities, I use a pseudonym to protect their privacy.

Here are my 18 favorites to date:

1. Manny and Gavin Scharf: Gay-coded Wisconsin brothers, a wrestler and a bodybuilder, aren't into girls, until.... With some d*ck pics

2. Joe Gaydar breaks unwritten gym rules, some involving p*nises and b*ndage

3. Ilia Bolshaya: Collegiate swimmer with a 3.97 GPA and a huge sausage. With swimmers and why gay men don't major in science

5. Kobey Pinnell: Bondi Beach bodybuilder is into shoes, but is he also into dudes?

6. Helmut Riedmeier, German bodybuilder of the 1960s generation who didn't mind posing n(*e

6. Dane G.  His 365 day Lake Tahoe Challenge. With Scott Gaffney, Danish d*cks, and guys at Notre Dame

7. Jack Barlow: Real Housewives teen, Mormon missionary, hair-care guru, gay tease. With n*de photos.  Reality shows don't count, right?

8. Joe Canoli's canoli: frontal nudity and erotic promise from the groovy 1960s

More after the break.  

Gilligan's Island: Gilligan and the Skipper, a gay couple? The Professor asexual? Ginger a drag queen?

Gilligan's Island (1964-67), the tale of seven nitwits who set out from Honolulu for a “three hour tour” and end up stranded on a desert island,  has become iconic for its ineptness and naiveté. They pull endless supplies from nowhere, build anything they need (except a boat) from bamboo and coconuts, hear endless radio news stories about their situation, and get a steady stream of visitors who promise rescue, but betray them or forget the island's location.  Even Santa Claus dropped by to offer holiday cheer.

But  actually, it was no more inept or naive than other 1960s sitcoms. The Beverly Hillbillies lived as multi-millionaires in Beverly Hills for many years, yet continued to wear hillbilly outfits, eat possum stew, and refer to the swimming pool as a "cement pond." 

In case Gilligan's Island and its endless reruns came  before your time, the seven castaways are, according to the theme song:

Gilligan, a "mighty sailing man" (in red), and the Skipper, "brave and sure" (in blue).  Color tv was brand new, so they used bright primary colors.

They became partners during the War, presumably the Korean War,  and now ran an island tour service out of Honolulu.  

Five passengers sign on for the "fateful trip" that was supposed to last for three hours,  "lunch provided."

3-4. Mr. and Mrs. Howell, "the millionaire and his wife," who for some reason brought suitcases full of money on the tour.

5. Ginger (the redhead), a glamorous Marilyn Monroe-style "movie star," who has a huge number of acting credit in very bad movies.

"And the rest," until the rest complained and got a mention in the theme song.

6. "Mary Anne," a wholesome Kansas farmgirl.

7. "The Professor,"  who has a B.A. from USC, a B.S. from UCLA, an M.A. from SMU, and a Ph. D from TCU, and is an expert on the languages and cultures of the "savage" natives of the area, yet works as a high school science teacher.

Straight Boomer boys had endless debates about which they would prefer to date, Ginger or Mary Anne.  But there was a lot for gay boys to like:

1. Beefcake First mate Gillian (Bob Denver, below) was slim, smooth, and occasionally shirtless.

Lithe, hard bodied Denny Miller, a 1959 Tarzan (top photo, appeared twice, as a "jungle man" and as as a surfer who rode a wild wave all the way in from Honolulu.

 In February 1965, Kurt Russell appeared as a jungle boy, wearing only a loincloth (he counts as beefcake when you're five years old)

Even the Professor took off his shirt a couple of times.

2. Utter lack of heterosexual interest.

There was lots of heterosexism, of course.  When the Professor wonders why headhunters would abduct only the girls, Gilligan quips “Because they’re boys!”  

When Mrs. Howell becomes the recipient of anonymous love letters, she and her husband interrogate Gilligan, the Skipper, and the Professor.  They all claim innocence.  "But that's impossible!" she exclaims.  "We've asked everyone on the island!" Ginger and Mary Anne are omitted.

More after the break

"Tracker," Episode 3.1: Tracker tracks a probably gay teenager. With Pride flags, Greek tavernas, a Canadian wrestler, and Bryant c*ck

 

 Link to the n*de photos

 Tracker (2023-) not to be confused with Duster (2025-6) and Reacher (2022-5), is about a guy who "tracks" missing people, usually in the square red states.  I went through the first season in search of gay characters awhile back, and didn't find much (Tracker's assistants are a lesbian couple, but the missing people seem to be all hetero).  

Tonight I have nothing to do while waiting for  my partner to get back from the gym (and bring food), so I'm going through Season 3.  Episodes about "Randy's close friend vanishes" and "a hidden relationship in a lawless desert town" have been disappointing, but Episode 3.11, "an 18 year old with a secret life" looks promising.   It stars Ben Krieger, a Broadway star who is obviously gay: he goes to Pride events, performed magic in a gay bar, and spent his 21st birthday with a male companion.

Scene 1:  Queens, New York. Stepho's Greek Taverna. Ben is cleaning up his parents' restaurant after closing.  A girl invites him to a party, but he refuses.  Your first sentence is rejecting a girl?  A nice queer code. 

He locks the back door, sets his bag of food aside, and walks over to the dumpster to throw out the trash.  Suddenly a car zooms up with its headlights glaring.

Scene 2:  The parents call for Tracker (Justin Hartley): Ben didn't come home last night, and because he's 18, the police won't do anything.  He also failed to deposit the day's receipts, several thousand dollars. In cash?  Doesn't everyone pay by card nowadays?

Tracker suggests that maybe he took the money and vanished, but the parents dismiss that idea.  He would never just leave.  But he didn't want to work in the restaurant forever.  He was interested in social justice issues.  Like LGBTQ rights, for instance?

 They open his locker, and find a taser cartridge.  Dude needed to protect himself for some reason.

Scene 3:  Next they check the back.  Notice the Pride Flag on the building next door.  It is visible in several scenes, certainly a deliberate background choice to hint that Ben is gay.

A homeless lady is eating the food that Ben dropped off.  She saw him arguing with a guy, and then being loaded into the car.

Next they find Ben's cell phone: he must have dropped it during the scuffle.  Tracker gets his associate, the Hacker, to hack into it.

Left: Google says that the Hacker is played by Eric Graise, a gay actor best known for the new Queer as Folk.  He may be disabled: some sources say that he's a bilateral amputee, and others, that it's his character.

The IMDB says that Eric left at the end of Season 2, replaced by "Cousin Randy" (Chris Lee), who is straight in real life.  

The new, straight Hacker tells Tracker that yesterday Ben called Ellis Brawner (Alex Barima from Daniel Spellbound, straight in real life) a dozen times.

The parents know him: he used to work at the restaurant, but was fired for stealing.  Could he have gotten revenge by kidnapping Ben?

Scene 4: The B-Plot, back at headquarters. A lady is buttering up another lady, who praises her work on previous cases.

Alex Barima (right), seen here in a non-romantic scene in The Exorcist, has no n*de or beefcake photos online.

The Hacker looks up Brawner's address, and Tracker breaks in.  A lot of fake passports and drivers' licenses.  No posters of bikini babes?  A good sign. When Brawner arrives and sees Tracker, he runs, but Tracker chases him down. 

He explains that he and Ben-Ben are partners in the fake id business. Ben-Ben?  Sounds like they're boyfriends.  

Last night Ben called and told him to get to the restaurant fast.  They were yelling because Brawner was angry over being awakened in the middle of the night.  It was just after a restaurant closed, and one of the staff was heading to a party.  Do you go to bed at 7:00 pm?

He needed some ids and a car right away, and paid for it with the money he took from the restaurant.

"Was it about the fake id business?"

"No, I think it was about a girl.  I heard him talking."  Ulp, heterosexual identity established at Minute 15.  

Ben left his laptop at Brower's place.  Tracker confiscates it.

More after the break.

Gemstones Season 4 Finale: Saying goodbye. With eight gay/bi characters and countless d*cks

  

Link to the n*de dudes

In March 2023, my partner and I subscribed to the streaming service HBO/MAX to watch science fiction programs like The Last of Us and Doctor Who.  He  also wanted to watch The Righteous Gemstones, a comedy/drama about "a famous and dysfunctional family of televangelists," but "No, thanks." After a childhood of preachers screaming "God hates you!" every Wednesday night and twice on Sunday, I thought that even a critique of evangelical homophobia would be too traumatic.

Then one day I was walking through the living room on the way to a snack, and I saw the Gemstones walking in slow motion toward Jason's Steakhouse: A nuclear family husband, wife, and kids; another male-female couple and their pregnant daughter; and, taking up the rear, a gay couple!  They were holding hands!  They joined the others at the dinner table with no recriminations, no stupid questions about "which of you is the man?", no yelling about the Book of Leviticus.  I was astonished.

Watching from the beginning, I found a show that was crass, vulgar, and often grotesque, with annoying plot holes and a complete disregard for internal consistency.  Plus it took forever for the showrunners to admit that Kelvin and Keefe were canon, resulting in endless annoying "they're really straight buddies" arguments. But once they were acknowledged, Season 4 became a masterpiece of gay inclusion, with their wedding the pivotal moment of the entire series.  

A gay wedding was the pivotal moment in a series about Evangelicals!

Plus:

 A more obvious romance between Gideon and Scotty.

Both Eli and Baby Billy have gay relationships in their past.

Queer coded characters everywhere.  Just when you think there couldn't be any more, they start dropping hints about Pontius. 

Two gay bands of brothers taken directly from Tom of Finland prints.

A near total absence of heterosexual activity, and almost no lady parts.

Nonstop beefcake.

P* enises in nearly every episode.  

 A friggin' gl*ry hole!

Gay men were not only welcome at the table, the table was designed for them. In the midst of some profound theological insights into faith and forgiveness.  There has never been anything on tv like it.

Two years have passed, with two conference presentations, a scholarly book, two blogs with over 500 posts, over 20 fan stories, and endless fan discussions. And now it's time to say goodbye.  

Fortunately, the Series Finale features a special message for those viewers who found the show, and the characters, especially meaningful:

Saying Goodbye is Never Easy: During the Kelvin-Keefe wedding reception, while Eli watches everyone dancing, we hear the letter that his deceased wife Aimee-Leigh wrote to her friend Lori years ago:

Saying goodbye is never easy -- it's not something I've ever been good at.  Sometimes it's easier to never say goodbye and just leave things where they lay.  Don't wrap it up all nice and neat.  

Hear that, fans?  We're not going to tie up every loose end.

The Grave:  Eli hugging Lori as she cries at her son Corey's grave.  

Takeaways: 

1. Corey was born in 1976, so he's six years older than Jesse, making it unusual for them to be friends.  Imagine a 10 year old and a 16 year old hanging out.

2. Season 4 begins in September 2024.  Corey dies in July 2025.  The wedding takes place several months later, I estimate in October.

3. Continuity error: the Gator Farm Massacre occurred in late June or early July 2025.  Earlier we read that Big Dick Mitch went missing in March 2024.  No way he was a prisoner for over a year.  

Don't look for closure in a goodbye.  We rarely get the closure we want. Most times we don't even get the closure we need.  Sometimes things happen and the life we knew is taken from us, just like that. It can happen fast.

I'll need a minute.

Hugging: Back at the reception. Eli grins at the people dancing and hugging.  Jesse and Amber hug.  Kelvin dances with Aunt Tiffany and his Sister Judy. Keefe hugs Uncle Baby Billy.  

Cut to Baby Billy, Tiffany, and the Nanny having a picnic. 

It's in those times you realize how precious friends are, family.  

The Gold Bible: The Siblings install the Gold Bible, the Maguffin of the season, on a pedestal at the Salvation Center, in front of a video presentation about Aimee-Leigh and Eli's ministry.

How important it is to let Jesus' love find you through them so we can lift each other up. 

Gideon Finds His Place: Performing at the opening of the new Gemstone Christian Skatepark, Gideon is able to combine his interest in stuntwork and the ministry. Banners say: Christian Skate Summit.

A shot of Jesse talking to his arch-nemesis Vance Simkins was cut. Apparently they're on friendly terms.

Jesse's sons, Pontius and Abraham, with Ash on one side and Edge on the other, gawk at the stunts.  Now there are girl skaters; previously Pontius' group has been entirely male.  I'm calling it: he's bi. 

And Abraham's pink shirt? Plus check out his room: Pictures of Holly Hobbie dolls and a ballerina nightlight.  He's gay.  Prove me wrong. 

Aimee-Leigh continues: So we can fly even higher. 

Shot of Gideon flying high.

More after the break