Queer Youth Night, a Chess Game, and the Ghost of Christmas Present: A Vance Simkins/Cousin Karl Romance

 

The NSFW version, with n*de photos and s*x scenes, is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

October 18, 2025. Queer Youth Game Night

“Now this piece is called a rook, or castle if you want.  It can move horizontally or vertically across the board, but it can’t go around other pieces.”

Cousin Karl nodded.  

Vance paused to wonder again what the heck was happening. What was he -- the former head of a megachurch empire based on "old fashioned Christian morality"  -- doing at a Queer Youth Game Night?  

With his arch-nemesis Jesse...ugh...Gemstone?  

Teaching his Cousin Karl to play chess while gazing at his massive biceps and wondering if he was big everywhere?

“This piece is called a bishop," he continued, trying to stop imagining Cousin Karl n*de.

“Looks like a cartoon character,” Karl said with a grin.  “See his nose and mouth?

“Well, I’ll be…now that you mentioned it, I can’t see it any other way! But it’s supposed to be bishop’s hat, like Catholic bishops, right?  He moves diagonally.”

“So the Catholic guy can’t be straight?  He must be gay.”

Vance laughed. 

March 10, 2025: The Round-Table Discussion of Candidates for the Top Christ Following Man

The question is "Should public schools teach a class in world religions?," but Kelvin interrupts to brag about his Prism ministry.  Vance seizes the opportunity to complain about a "homosexual" being nominated: "God's Word is clear on this issue." 

Kelvin gets all flustered and starts blustering about the Levitical Code.  

Vance isn't stupid.  He knows that it's not fair to latch onto one verse from the Code and ignore the others -- and that one verse wasn't even about modern homosexuals -- gays -- it was about temple stuff.  He knows that only a few Evangelicals think that God hates gays.  None of the preachers in the Cape and Pistol Society think so.  But he continues to dig at Kelvin, and when the boy wins the Top Christ Following Man award anyway, he screams about "homosexuals in our midst" on national tv.  

Game Night

"The Queen and King can move in any direction," Vance continued, "But the Queen can go as far as she wants, and the King can only move one space."

"I get it," Karl said, grinning.  "Queens are the biggest and baddest of the pieces.  I guess that makes me a Queen."

Vance. laughed.  "You're bigger than anybody I've ever seen.  But not bad.  I think you're really nice."

Karl looked down at his hands.  "Thank-ee."

November 3, 2024. The Cape and Pistol Society

As usual, Vance is trying to dig at Jesse Gemstone.  The infuriating braggart thinks he's a much better preacher, but actually he's more successful because he comes from the Baptist tradition, and Vance is Wesleyan -- God requires perfection, no sins in thought, word, or deed.  No alcohol, no movies, no dances, no eating out on the Sabbath, no rock music, no secular literature, just the Word of God.  No wonder Jesse's laissez-faire "God loves you no matter what" fills the pews at the Salvation Center, and draws millions of views on their streaming service.  

Jesse's brother-in-law BJ was injured while pole-dancing -- disgusting! -- so Vance implies that he is gay, and asks "How many homosexuals in your family?"  "Two," Jesse answers. 

Game Night

Vance wondered who Jesse meant: his brother Kelvin and...Cousin Karl?  No, he probably meant his son Pontius.  Tonight Vance dropped by Jesse's house to taunt him a bit, and heard that Pontius and his boyfriend Stacy (yes, a boyfriend) were going to Queer Youth Game Night at Kelvin's house.  They assured him that it was just board games, but he imagined all sorts of decadent, disgusting things, so Jesse offered to bring him over to observe.

It was just board games: Sorry, Clue, Uno, Apples and Apples. With Kelvin leading a gay trivia game in the parlor, a chaperone monitoring video games in the Game Room -- and in the kitchen, a massive man-mountain -- 6'7" (as Mae West used to say, "Forget the six foot; tell me about the seven inches"), bench press record 585 pounds, Top Strongman of the South three years running.  With a smile that lit up the room. 

Vance was only trying to be friendly when saw an unoccupied chess set and offered to teach Cousin Karl to play.  And when he rubbed his leg against Cousin Karl's under the table. 

"Ok, now the Knight, this horse-shaped piece, moves two squares vertical or horizontal, then one square perpendicular.  Let me show you."  He moved his Queen's Knight to C5.  "It can also jump over other pieces, like that pawn, for instance."

"Sounds complicated."

"Well, anytime you do something that people aren't expecting, they're going to be confused.  They may even get angry.  But that's the place where you can be an individual, show them who you really are."  He reached over and squeezed Karl's hand. 

More after the break

"Cavendish": Brothers face paranormal peril in a quirky PEI town. With Sandiford drawers and Canadian hunks

  

Link to the n*de dudes

Amazon Prime has been releasing a lot of British "cozy mysteries." where you run down to High Street to find the village baddy murdered, have the constable tell you to "let the police handle it", but solve it yourself with the help of your cat.  They're sort of comforting in dark times. So when Cavendish appeared, I assumed that it was a cozy mystery and clicked on it without doing any research.

Surprise: It's actually about a quirky small town in Canada.  Think Schitt's Creek, Corner Gas, and Trailer Park Boys, and North by North, or if you want a quirky big city, Kim's Convenience and Running the Burbs.  I'm in.

Scene 1: Brothers Mark and Andy are a standard id-superego couple: "Let's streak through Parliament Hill"/"I can't, I have to write an article on potatoes." They cross Confederation Bridge into Prince Edward Island, Mark singing the songs to the Anne of Green Gables musical (the books are set on PEI).  Andy is tired of hearing show tunes.  Wait -- show tunes?  Mark is gay.

Back story: when they were four and eight years old, their mom and dad divorced, and they left Cavendish, PEI.  They haven't spoken to Dad since, but they're returning now because he's dying.

More back story: When he was a kid, Mark didn't realize that Andy was only four years older; he thought he was an adult, "Dad's friend who lived with us."   A gay partner?

Scene 2: Dad and his new girlfriend Ruth run The Museum of the Strange and the Fantastic out of their house. Sounds cool.  She remembers Mark from when he was a kid, and used to come to her shop, but she doesn't remember Andy, and assumes that he's Mark's boyfriend.  Andy has been mistaken for a gay partner twice, har har.  He'll turn out to be straight.

We get a tour of all the "cool crap" in the museum, like a UFO, an Egyptian sarcophagus -- and a fetus in a jar?  

Ruth's niece, the monotone-speaking Goth Brynn (think Lily from Duolingo), works at the musuem.   No doubt Mark have a crush on her, but she will keep him in the Friend Zone until the season finale, when they kiss (Like on Friends, Cheers, Family Matters, Schitz Creek...well, every sitcom ever).  

In other news, it's Beast Day, when a beast emerges from the woods in search of someone to consume, so the stores are all closed, and everyone stays home.  Brynn made a drawing, which we can't see because "he's got a lot of anatomy going on."  Goth Girl likes...um...anatomy.

Left: Mark Little and Andrew Bush are members of the Halifax-based comedy troupe Picnicface.

Scene 3: Their old room is exactly how they left it  -- sports trophies, teddy bears, a picture of a tv puppeteer and the girl Andrew had a crush on. Ten to one the grown-up version is hanging around to become Andy's Love Interest. 

After Girlfriend Ruth sets out the scraps of meat for the Beast, it's time for dinner.  Dad comes in wheezing on an oxygen machine...but it's a prank!  He's fine!  Andy is miffed: they just came because they thought Dad was dying.

Mark hugs Dad, but Andy stays in his seat, fuming.  "Andy, how's the stick up your ass," Dad asks.

"So, how about apologizing for abandoning us?"

"Sure.  I'm sorry -- that you have such an enormous stick up your ass."

"We're leaving first thing in the morning!" Andy yells.  

"Good.  Then I can go back to pretending you're dead!"  Dad storms off.

Scene 4: POV of the Beast as it snorts and growls up the steps and eats the offering of meat scraps and milk -- and attacks Dad!  

Just a dream -- but Mark's scream awakens the whole house.  In other news, Dad is missing for real!

They call Constable Gibbs. Andy thinks he went to a hotel so he wouldn't have to spend the night with them, but Mark finds his blood-stained robe in the yard.  

More after the break.

"Shrinking": A bizarre shrink, the male gaze, sentient water, and an invisible gay friend. With Segal and Tanner d*cks

 

Link to the n*de dudes

I heard that Tim Baltz, who played BJ on The Righteous Gemstones, starred in a sitcom about an inept Shrink, so when we got Apple Plus, I clicked on Shrinking, Episode 1.

Scene 1: Husband and wife, Liz, in bed.  Hey, that's not Tim Baltz.  It might be Ted McGinley, left, who I last saw on "Married..with Children."   He tells her it's her turn to handle it.  They argue, but she goes -- not to take care of a new baby, har har, but to yell at the next door neighbor.  

He is fully clothed, wiggling his fingers in a bizarre way while two bikini babes frolick in the pool. Heterosexual male gaze, anyone? 

Liz tells him that it's 3:00 am, and he should turn the music off.  But he and the bikini babes are partying with adderall and opioids.  So why aren't you in the pool with them?

"What about Alice?"  Must be Bizarre Guy's wife.

Scene 2:  Bizarre Guy gets up, goes to his kitchen - full of booze bottles, with a painting of a bikini babe on the wall (ok, ok, you're straight, I get it), and gets yelled at by his sister or daughter. She turns up a photo of Bizarre Guy hugging two women.  

Left: I didn't realize it until I checked the IMDB, but Bizarre Guy is played by Jason Segal, and he's the focus character!  I don't know why they wanted to fool viewers into thinking that Liz and her husband were the focus.  Malicious editors?

He gets into his car, but it's out of gas, so he rides a bike -- badly.  When bikers zoom past him, he insults them with an invitation to gay s*x.  Apparently Bizarre Guy is homophobic.

He ends up at the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Center, where he has an appointment with his shrink, Tim Baltz.

Wait -- Bizarre Guy is the shrink!  But those bizarre finger movements, like he has some kind of psychotic disorder. The doctor is crazier than his patients!

Scene 3:  Bizarre Guy holds his head under the water faucet, then returns to his patients: 

"I hate my mother"

"The barista made me spell 'Dan'"

"I always go out with superficial girls."

Jason's backside and d*ck on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.

"My boyfriend made me go back to fetch my sunglasses, but they were right on my head the whole time.  Then he called me stupid, but he said I had great t__, so he loves me." Great T__ is displaying them very brazenly for the aesthetic pleasure of the heterosexual male viewer.

Bizarre Guy blows up: they've been through this again and again.  If your boyfriend calls you stupid, he doesn't love you.  Besides, he's not that great: "his muscles are too big, and his shirts are too tight. Nobody likes that!"

Forget that gay men exist,  Bizarre Guy?  Or maybe gay men don't exist in this universe, except in slurs.  But obviously Great T* likes it. 

Left: Big muscles, tight shirt.  Any questions?

"Just leave him!" Bizarre Guy yells.

"Ok."  She goes home to pack her stuff.  That was easy.

Scene 4: Sister/Daughter from Scene 2. is singing a silly song to the water she's pouring (yes, to the water) while old guy Harrison Ford rolls his eyes.  "It's too much water."  She must be volunteering in a nursing home, with Harrison Ford as the cantankerous geezer.  

No, it's the break room at the Cognitive Center.  Sister/Daughter is a fellow shrink, pouring her own water due to her "character quirk" of being health conscious. And thinking that water is sentient?

Bizarre Guy bursts in and confesses that he just told a patient what to do.  They are upset: this is against the rules of shrinking.

"We all know what they should do.  Why not just tell them?"  

"They have to figure it out for themselves."

After they criticize him some more, Bizarre Guy agrees to shrink patients "by the book" from now on.

Scene 5: Bizarre Guy is on his way out, when Sister/Daughter stops to flirt with him.  Ok, not his Sister/Daughter, his Flirtatious Coworker.  But why do the two characters look identical? 

After flirting, she gives him a referral: young soldier, just back from overseas, keeps assaulting people, and his parents are worried.  What about the victims and the police?  

Scene 6: Bizarre Guy starts the session with the Soldier (Luke Tennie) with "Why do you think you're here?"  It's cognitive-behavioral therapy, not psychoanalysis; give him some anger management strategies!

He waits for Soldier to open up, but nothing happens.  Finally Soldier walks out. I would, too.  Bizarre Guy yells "F*ck!"

Back at home, a new character named Tia is on the couch, watching wrestling.  Bizarre Guy thinks people who enjoy wrestling are insane (calling your wife/girlfriend insane will decrease your chance of being invited into her bed, dude).   He then turns into the pinching monster, and they end up smoooching.  

I thought he was single-- he invited ladies over last night, and he had the photo of his wife and sister/daughter turned over.  Maybe she's a new girlfriend?

Wait -- was this a flashback to back before his wife left him?  Geez, I hate flashbacks that aren't signaled in any way.

More after the break

Noah Beck: Shirtless Soccer Player, Too Soon Steve, and Jowsey's boyfriend's ex shows his d*ck to 33 million TikTok followers

N*de photos of Noah Beck have been sitting in my "to profile" folder for two months.  It's hard to get enthusiastic about profiling someone when you've never seen him in anything, and aren't even sure if he's an actor.  All I know is:

1. He appeared in a music video with the Zoey 101 gang, so there's a d*ck pic in the profile of Matthew Underwood.

2. He is the ex boyfriend of Harry Jowsey's boyfriend. 

That's not much to go on, but it's a really nice d*ck, so let's get started:

Instagram: Noah's taglines are  "Do what makes you happy" and "sideline the QB and me," so maybe he's a football player.  Or is dating a football player.

Posts show him boating, going to Disneyland, cooking, jumping on the bed, modeling a pink shirt, and telling us what he ate today (several times).

No pictures of men or women, at least not in the first two hundred posts.  That's usually a sign of gay identity, but we already know that he's gay from being Harry Jowsey's boyfriend's ex, so his Instagram is useful only for its beefcake images.

Wikipedia: Noah was born in 2001 in Peoria, Arizona, a suburb of Phoenix, about 13 miles from downtown. He graduate from the Real Salt Lake Academy, which trains professional soccer players (presumably you take academic subjects, too); then he attended University of Portland for a year before dropping out due to COVID isolaiton.

He is a content creator, specializing in dances and humorous skits, with 33 million TikTok followers.

He also owns a gender-neutral underwear brand called Iphis (top photo).  In Greek mythology, Iphis is born female but raised as a man so she can take the throne.  When she falls in love with a woman, she is horrified by the "monstrous" lesbian desire, and asks the gods to make her a "real man."  They do.  Transgender affirmation, or a paeon to universal heterosexual desire?

The IMDB: Eight acting roles. 

Some music videos.

A guy who dumps his girlfriend on an episode of Side Hustle (2021).

A shirtless soccer player who flirts with a girl on an episode of Doogie Kamealoha MD (2023).

A more substantial role on an episode of Doctor Odyssey (2025): Steve (Noah)  looks uncomfortable when his buddy invites three bikini babes into their hot tub.  Just when you conclude that he's gay, it turns out that he suffers from a disorder that makes him...um...finish at the slightest stimulus: a big problem on a date or even when trying to meet a girl.

I've been with thousands of men, again and again.  They promise the moon.

They're always coming and going, and going and coming,

And always too soon -- Madeleine Kahn in Blazing Saddles

 Fortunately, it's an easy fix with medication that the doctor prescribes.

The full profile, with n*de photos, is on  RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

See also: Harry Jowsey: New Zealand reality star, Boyfriend Dick Podcaster, Onlyfans n*de model, "Call me gay."

Matthew Underwood: The "Zoey 101" It-Boy Logan plays himself again and again...and again, posts d*ck pics. With bonus Noah Beck

Cody Kearsley: Metis actor with two gay roles, Moose Mason and a post-Apocalyptic zombie. Plus Cody and another Metis guy n*de

Bamm-Bamm's Muscles: Gay Promise on "The Flintstones"

Quick, name a cartoon character who came from outer space, was adopted by a human family, and has superpowers?

Right, Bamm-Bamm Rubble.

In an October 3rd, 1963 episode of The Flintstones, about "a modern prehistoric family," Betty and Barney Rubble are upset because they can't have children -- apparently Barney's sperm count is a little low.  They wish on a falling star, and the next morning a baby appears on their doorstep, asleep in a turtle shell, holding a club.

He can only say "Bamm-Bamm," so that becomes his name. He turns out to have superhuman strength, easily carrying furniture and tossing his adopted father around.

As a kid, I was intrigued by Bamm-Bamm's mysterious origin.  Could he be an alien -- a falling star could mean a UFO!  His white hair certainly looked alien.  And the superhuman strength surely meant super muscles!

I didn't see The Flintstones often, so I didn't notice that the writers failed to make much use of Bamm-Bamm's potential.  His supernatural origins were rarely mentioned, and his super-strength became little more than a comic nuisance.

No gay symbolism: in fact, he began expressing toddler heterosexual interest, mooning over toddler-next-door Pebbles, romancing her in baby-talk.  Eventually they were closing episodes by singing the treacly Sunday-school song "Open Up Your Heart (and Let the Sun Shine In)." Yuck.

In 1971, a highly publicized spin-off appeared, The Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm Show (1971-72, and rerun long after).  With the characters as teenagers. 

But Bamm-Bamm dit not transform into Superboy.

He and Pebbles went to high school and belonged to a rock band, like everyone on Saturday morning in the 1970s.

No mysterous origin.  No superstrength.  He wasn't even built -- he had skinny arms and legs and a shapeless lump of a body.  

More after the break

"Best Foot Forward": Boy negotiates middle school with a prosthetic leg, a h*ng ad, a bodybuilder brother, a gay buddy, and no annoying girl-craziness

  

Link to the n*de dudes

We just dumped Peacock in favor of Apple Plus, so now we can watch Best Foot Forward (2022), based on childhood experiences of  "Paralympian, comedian, author, disability advocate, and Halloween enthusiast" Joshua Sundquist (underwear photo on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) 

Focus character Josh has been home schooled since he lost his left leg at age nine, but he finally convinces his parents to allow him to start seventh grade in public school.  He faces the standard junior high problems of friends, math tests, soccer practice, movie night, and school dances.

Josh is played by Logan Marmino, fifteen years old in 2025 and thinking about college.  Maybe Johns Hopkins?

He's an accomplished athlete, competing in Paralympics track and high school basketball and baseball.  Plus surfing and skateboarding. 

When showrunner Joshua Sundquist invited him to audition for Best Foot Forward, he had no acting experience, not even a school play.  And he doesn't really seem interested in an acting career -- he hasn't appeared in anything since. Sports and disability activism keep him busy.

While Josh is experiencing the joys and hassles of junior high, Dad and Mom (Stephen Schneider, left, Joy Suprano) have B plots of their own, like when they tried to order two pizzas, and accidentally ordered twenty. "Sometimes older people can't see the order screen very well," the delivery guy explains, to Mom's consternation.

Stephen Schneider may be best known for a five-minute long n*de fight scene in The Righteous Gemstones, but he has 37 acting credits on the IMDB, including three tv series reviewed here: You're the Worst, Broad City. and Nobody Wants This, 

Josh's younger brother Matt (Roger Dale Floyd) mostly tries to help, or feels left out when Josh gets all of the attention.

Roger Dale Floyd, 13 years old in 2025, has appeared in The Walking Dead, Doctor Sleep, Greenland, and Stranger Things.  He is a junior bodybuilder, interested in promoting fitness among teens and tweens. 

In Greenland (2020), Roger and his Mom and Dad (Gerard Butler) must flee cross-country to safety after a comet-Apocalypse.  Whoops, they forgot to bring his insulin. 

N*de Gerard Butler on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

Josh makes two friends, Kyle (Peyton Jackson, left) and Gabriella (Trinity Jo-Li Bliss).

Peyton Jackson has 14 acting credits on the IMDB, most recently Pet Investigators (2025), about three teens who crack a pet-theft ring.  The baddies are played by former teen idols Sean Astin, David Faustino, and Corin Nemec, and the hunk by Mike Markoff (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

I have bad luck with junior high and high school comedies.  They invariably present their male characters as absurdly girl crazy, their every action designed to meet, impress, or win Girls! Girls! Girls!: "Let's join chess club -- there will be girls there!  Let's buy a new skateboard -- we can use it to get girls!  Let's jump out of an airplane -- maybe a girl will see us!"

I'm reviewing the "School Dance" episode with my "heteronormative erasure!" complaints ready.

Review after the break

Gavin Munn's Cute/Cool Photos, Part 4: A boy and his bully, a boy and his stuntman, Kelton Dumont, a selfie, and Santa Claus

Link to the n*de photos

This is a collection of cute/cool photos of Gavin Munn, who plays Jonathan on Raising Dion and Abraham on The Righteous Gemstones.  He's under 18, so no n*de photos of Gavin, but I may have included some of his costars and friends.

1. A boy and his Mom.

2. In Dear Santa (2024), a dyslexic boy writes a letter to Santa Claus, but it accidentally goes to Satan (Jack Black), who appears to help him gain self-confidence, best a bully, and win the Girl.  Gavin plays the bully.  

I don't know why he needs a mannequin.  Does Satan, like, shoot him out of a cannon?

3. In case you want to see Satan and Santa Claus at the beach.  That's actually Kyle Gass, who plays a science teacher.

4. A boy and his fish.

5. A boy and his boat.

More after the break

"Blood Legacy": "Succession" in South Africa, with rich people, dark secrets, a downlow gay romance, and n*de Zulu guys

 

After the South African tease of Honest Men, I wanted some real South African tv, so I turned on Blood Legacy (2024), a Netflix series about siblings fighting for control of Daddy's empire (sounds familiar).

Scene 1: Establishing shot of the docks.  A man being beat up.  He won't sign the paper, so they call in a White-Haired Man, Bheki, while a Bearded Man and a Pink-Haired Woman watch. 

 But "I cannot be broken, because I come from the struggle, a struggled you and I once shared. But you left me behind." Tired of listening to the speech, Pink-Hair shoots him.

Cut to the funeral, with the White-Haired Man delivering the eulogy.  Widow and adult children, two men and a woman, hold hands. 

Scene 2: Establishing shot of Durban.  White-Haired Man in a helicopter watches an interview program with economics journalist Khanyi.   "We need transparency and accountability." 

 "But doesn't your family own Spear, the most corrupt company in Africa?"    

When the broadcast ends, Khanyi yells "Don't ever ask about my f*king family again!" and stomps off.

Scene 3: At work in Cape Town. Sean (Michael Everson) tells Khanyi that the Scene 1 murder has been linked to White Haired Man, her estranged father.  

She tells him to "F*k off!" and stomps away.

Scene 4: Akin (Anthony Oseyemi), a poor immigrant, wants to bail out his daughter, but the corrupt cops won't let him, not even when he tries to speak Xhosa.  Khanyi shows up and threatens to do a news story on how corrupt they are, and they agree to let the daughter go.  Then she tells Akin how sexy he is and kisses him.  Presumably they've met before.

Daughter trashed her teacher's classroom because he made a bigoted comment.  Dad and Khanyi tell her to not make waves.

Scene 5: White Haired Guy's wife complains that he hasn't been eating or sleeping since he was connected with that murder.  Gee, I wonder why.

Cut to Khanyi and boyfriend and daughter discussing whether she should go see White-Haired Man  She hates him, but he sounds sick over the telephone, sothis may be her last chance. "Plus you can see your brother and Njabulo," Boyfriend's Daughter points out.

Meanwhile, Older Brother Mandla (Buyile Mdladla) complains to White Haired Guy that the company is going under because of him. Their contractors are cancelling.  They can't start the Very Important Project. "Tough.  I hate you. Get out!"

Old Brother storms out and calls his daughter to make sure the private jet is ready for his flight to Cape Town.  "Nope, White-Haired Guy reserved it for your sister Khanyi. She's flying in today."

"F*k!" he yells.  He hates flying commercial, and he hates Khanyi!

Scene 6: Khanyi arrives in the private jet. Older Brother calls: "Why the heck are you here!  You hate the family, and we hate you!" 

"Dad called.  He sounded sick, so this might be the last time I can see him."

"He's fine.  Besides, you hate him."

Scene 7: Younger Brother Siya (Mike Ndlangamandla) has his hair stroked by his wife while telling his son (Unathi Mkizhe) that he forgives him for flying the drone in the house, "Just don't do it again."  And they got him a diamond status credit card.  Some punishment.  

More after the break

Ansel Pierce: "Duster" Baby Face and "Euphoria" Big D*ck, with Rar Boy, Chubby Guy, and West Hollywood digressions

Link to the n*de dudes

In Duster Episode 1.4, 1970s mob driver Jim Ellis (why not name him Duster?) and the boss's Probably Gay Son (Josh Holloway, Benjamin Charles Watson) are transporting Howard Hughes' car across the Arizona desert, when they almost crash into a car being driven by two guys who aren't named, so I'll call them Rat Boy and Baby Face (left).  

They look like  Mormon missionaries, but their bumper sticker says "Vacuums suck," so they may be salesmen. 

Jim/Duster and Probably Gay Son stop at Floyd's Gas and Go, and the guys follow.  Ulp, their trunk is filled with guns, cables, ropes, and baseball bats embedded with spikes.  They're baddies!  While Jim/Duster is occupied with an unrelated assassination attempt, the Mormon missionary-baddies beat up the mechanic and the Probably Gay Son, and steal the car!   

Jim/Duster and his assassin-turned-ally track them down and kill them, Baby Face with a knife to his head (through an open car window while they're driving side by side), and Rat Boy with a shot in the back.

We learn no more about the characters, but I wanted to research the actors, especially Baby Face.

Rat Boy is played by Garrett Young, who has 13 acting credits on IMDB, including Timid Pimps, Other People's Heads (where he played a head), and Chicago Justice/Med/Fire. 

As a stage actor, he has appeared in John Proctor is the Villain on Broadway, Clyde's, and The Oresteia.  

His Instagram has the "no women," "a lot of hugging guys," and "world's best uncle" gay codes until you get to the very end, where there are a lot of photos of his wife and kid.

On to Baby Face.

We've seen him before -- a lot of him.  He is Ansel Wolf Pierce, best known as Caleb, a recurring character in Euphoria Season 2, and particularly for the house party scene in Episode 2.1: Cassie is hiding in the bathtub when he comes in and sits on the toilet, revealing...omg, that thing is huge!  Noticing her, he apologizes: "You're really hot but I still gotta take a sh*t."  She doesn't mind.

I repeat: OMG,  that thing is huge!

We see his backside, too, but who was paying attention to that?

Plus Ansel has a social media presence, for a change.

A "versatile young talent making waves in the world of modeling and acting" (and d*cks), he graduated from Fossil Ridge High School in Fort Collins, Colorado, in 2018, then studied business at the University of Colorado.  

While he was in college, a photographer noticed him (and his d*ck) and invited him to L.A. for a fashion shoot.  He decided that modeling would be his career.

Today Ansel is represented by Wilhelmina Models, where he is listed as 6'2", waist 38, shoe size 12, d*ck size  -- well, we already know about that.

More after the break

Johnny Berchtold: I have good news and bad news. The good news is his d*ck

 Link to the n*de dudes

I researched Johnny Berchtold, who plays the gay-vague or maybe canonically gay college student Richard Beck on Season 3 of Reacher.   

I have good news and bad news.

The good news: He is huge.

 

The bad news: The d*ck pic is from the movie A Hard Problem (2021).  Johnny plays a guy who tries to reconnect with his sister and recruits The Girl to help him clean out his deceased mother's house. Heteronormativity all the way down.

The good news:  In addition to Reacher, Johnny has a gay-vague role in  The Passenger (2023). Violent loose-cannon Benson (Kyle Gallner) decides to "fix" beset-upon fast-food worker  Randy (Johnny), killing his bullies, helping him stand up to his overbearing mother, and so on.

The script was heteronormative, but queer director Carter Smith had the actors push up the homoeroticism until they are almost a gay couple.  (Spoiler: one dies at the end).

The bad news: I couldn't find any other gay or gay-vague roles.

In Tiny Pretty Things (2023), his character is married to Claire (Katherine Hahn of Agatha All Along).

In spite of the whimsical pun-title, Dog Gone (2023) is about a dying guy and his dog, who is also dying.  He's probably straight, but I'm not sure: the plot synopsis was so disturbing that I just skimmed through.

In Gaslight (2021), which is about Watergate, not Victorian England, Johnny plays Jay Jennings, the estranged son of Martha Mitchell (wife of Attorney General John Mitchell).  He is married to a woman.

In spite of the whimsical title,  Life as a Mermaid (2016-2018) is a live-action drama about two mermaid sisters living among humans.  Johnny plays the Barnacle King, sort of a nerdish character with disgusting barnacles attached to his face.  He has a male sidekick, but I couldn't stomach watching long enough to determine if he is gay or gay-vague.

Fun fact: Life as a Mermaid is also a documentary about transgender people in Borneo.

The good news: Johnny is way into horror.  His instagram is full of photos of him in bloody and monster makeup, and getting Chucky as a roommate.  

More after the break

"Dad Can't Know That I'm Gay": An Abraham Gemstone Adventure, with Ash, some twink d*cks, and a special appearance by Pontius and Stacy

 

Link to the n*de photos

In this story, Abraham is 16 years old, and Ash is 17.  All models in the illustrations are over 18.

August 23, 2025: The first night of The Play that Goes Wrong, and everything did go wrong!  It was supposed to be about mishaps during a performance, with forgotten lines, broken props, and so on, but Ash really did forget his lines, miss his mark, and open his eyes while dead!  It was unusual for juniors to get starring roles, even during the Lowland Summer Stock -- usually they went to seniors preparing to study drama at prestigious universities.  So this was a big opportunity -- that he flubbed.  

After the requisite standing ovation, he wanted to slink out quietly, skip the cast party, and go home, but Pontius Gemstone and Stacy, two guys from his skateboarding group, were waiting in the wings, along with the cutest boy Ash had ever seen: a round face, blue-grey eyes, a shock of unruly brown hair.  He looked familiar, but Ash couldn't place him.

"My man!" Pontius exclaimed, pulling him into a hug.  "We had to come out and support our skating bro!"

"So...er...how did you like the show?" he asked the cute boy.  

He  said "Nice" in a near whisper, and looked up at Pontius.

"You know my little brother Abraham, right?"  

Now he remembered.  "Oh, sure -- I've seen you around the skate park, and in French class last year?"  He turned to Pontius.  "This guy spends three-fourths of the class not saying a word, and then suddenly he gives a five-minute spiel on Cocteau."

"Cock Two?" Pontius repeated.  "Sounds like my kind of writer."  

Stacy laughed and grabbed his arm.  "Be good!"

"Oh, I'm always good, Stace."

Wait -- were Pontius and Stacy dating?  He knew that Stacy was gay-- but didn't Pontius like girls?  

"We're...um...going out for pizza," Abraham said, looking down.  "Do you want to come with us?"

"En Francais, s'il vous plait."

He grinned -- a smile that made Ash melt!  "Veux-tu manger une pizza avec nous ? Et baise-moi "

And kiss me?  Whoa....  

Left: On "The Righteous Gemstones," Ash is played by Michael Sayfou

They stopped at Famulari's for a bacon-cheeseburger pizza.  Yep, Pontius and Stacy started dating while he was in the hospital after the Gator Farm Massacre.  Stacy didn't want to tell their parents or anyone in the skating group yet.  He didn't explain why, but Ash suspected that it was because Pontius didn't seem like the monogamous type, and why get everyone all excited for them if they were going to break up in a few weeks?  

Once he had about a quart of soda in him, Abraham opened up.  His parents took him to Paris for his tenth birthday, and he was hooked.  He wanted to major in French in college, and become a translator.  He liked Heartstopper on Nickelodeon, country-Western music, mountain bikes, water-skiing, and scary movies.

Ash saw his chance: "Have you seen Sinners?  It's about twin brothers fighting vampires during the Great Depression."

"Sounds cool," Abraham said, flashing that incredible smile.  "Where's it playing?"

Ash checked his cell phone.  "At the Terrace.  I'm performing tomorrow and Sunday, but we could go on Tuesday night, if you're free."

Pontius began "Sure, we'd...", but Stacy shushed him.  "I mean, sorry, we have plans.  Why don't you and Abraham go together?"

Abraham looked down at his plate. "That'd be ok."

"Great.  I'll pick you up..."

"No!" he said forcefully, almost angrily.  "I'll pick you up..."

They all stared.  

"See, Grandad gave me a car for my sixteenth birthday, so I like to do the driving."

Ash's performance was better on Saturday night, and nearly perfect for the Sunday matinee, but still, the hours dragged.  He couldn't stop thinking of Abraham's smile, and resisted the urge to text him every five minutes.  He still texted a lot, just not every five minutes.

August 26, 2025: The movie was one of the best he'd ever seen, and the date was the best he'd ever had, cuddling against the amazingly cute Abraham Gemstone, arranging to reach for the popcorn when he did so their hands could touch.  But things came crashing down when Abraham dropped Ash off at his house, and he leaned in for a kiss.

Abraham moved his head.  "Hey, watch it!"

Ash's stomach churned.  Wasn't this a date?  Wasn't Abraham gay? "Sorry.  I thought..."

He was staring straight ahead.  "It's ok."

"If you don't like me in that way, we can always be friends, right?"

"Sure."

"Shake hands?"  He held out his hand.  Abraham took it, pressed the open palm to his face, and closed his eyes.  Was he trembling?

"Are you ok?" 

"No.  I mean, yeah, sure, of course."  He dropped Ash's hand.  "Good night."

When Ash texted a "thanks for a nice evening" later, he didn't respond.  And in the morning, when he texted "Are we still friends?", no response.  

The full story, with n*de photos, is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

See also:

Pontius Gemstone, the Boy Named Stacy, and the E*rotic Alphabet

Gavin's Cute/Cool Photos, Part 4: A boy and his bully, a boy and his stuntman, Kelton Dumont, Santa Claus, and some n*de dudes

Gavin Munn's polar plunge. Plus Tony's cold dip, a bondage hookup, and some nude dudes in the snow

Queer Youth Night, a Chess Game, and the Ghost of Christmas Present: A Vance Simkins/Cousin Karl Romance