Bob Paris: The World's First Out Gay Bodybuilder

 I started working for Joe Weider's Muscle and Fitness in  July 1985.   Bob Paris was on the cover.

We had a lot in common: he was one year older than me, grew up in Columbus, Indiana (near where my parents live today), attended Indiana University, and escaped to the gay haven of West Hollywood.  Originally he intended to become an actor, but he soon found his way into the world of competitive bodybuilding.

He won many competitions, including Mr. Southern California in 1981, and both Mr. America and Mr. Universe in 1983.

I met him sometime in 1986 -- we never dated, but I learned that he was gay.

He came out publicly in July 1989, in an interview in Iron Man, by mentioning his lover, fellow bodybuilder (and Playgirl model) Rod Jackson, whom he had just married in a Unitarian service.

No professional bodybuilder had ever come out before.  Actually, no professional athlete in any sport had ever come out during his career.

His friends advised him to stay closeted, but he was optimistic that, with all of the gay people working in bodybuilding and all of the gay fans, there would be no problem.

But there were lots of problems. His career didn't exactly end -- he continued to compete through 1991 -- but he lost a huge amount of business, including advertising tie-ins, and extensive homophobic harassment, including death threats.

But many fellow bodybuilders and fans applauded Bob's decision to come out.  Even the rather homophobic Joe Weider put him on the cover of Muscle and Fitness three times in 1990 -- the "Sexual Response" tag near Bob's crotch wasn't an accident.

In 1991 Bob and Rod retired from bodybuilding to concentrate on being the most famous gay couple in the world.  Eventually the stress of having to be perfect all the time put a strain on their relationship, and they broke up.

Rod has been busily acting, writing, and advocating for gay rights, especially gay marriage.   He has published several books on fitness, plus fiction, poetry, and two autobiographies: Straight from the Heart: A Love Story (with Rod) and Gorilla Suit: My Adventures in Bodybuilding.

He has appeared frequently in theatrical productions in Los Angeles and elsewhere, including the Broadway musical Jubilee.

Today Bob lives on an island near Vancouver, British Columbia, with his second spouse, Brian LeFurgey.

He continues to act, write, and inspire a new generation of bodybuilders.

See also: Joe Weider: My Bodybuilder Boss

"Muscle & Fitness": Searching for the Kelvin cover, with Weatherford butt and Lesnar dick

My Date with Michael J. Fox. Plus Marcus and the Scary Bulgarian Bodybuilder.

My Boyfriend and My Satanist Ex-Boyfriend at Thanksgiving Dinner: A Kelvin/Keefe Adventure

 "Mama!" Keefe exclaimed.  "Why on Earth did you invite my ex-boyfriend to Thanksgiving Dinner, when you knew that Kelvin was coming?"

She frowned.  "Well, why not?  Daedalus came to every Thanksgiving and Christmas for five years.  And your nephew Austin's piano recitals. Jimmy called him 'Uncle Daedus.'" He's part of the family.  Just because you broke up for some crazy reason doesn't mean we have to break up with him, too."

"I found God, Mama! Isn't that what you wanted for me?"

"All I ever wanted was for you to be happy.  And you were happy with Daedalus.  A lot happier than you seem now, when every word I say makes you uncomfortable or angry, and the wonderful Reverend Gemstone treats you like his personal servant.  Now, does this casserole get onion rings on top, or not?"

The rest of the story, with n*de photos and explicit s*x scenes, is on Righteous Gemstones Beefcake and Boyfriends

Clayton Spencer: the n*ked guy from "Bone Lake" stunts, doubles, brags about the hunky actors he's...um...met. With Clay and co-star d*cks

 

Link to the n*de photos

This morning the n*de celebrity website posted some photos and videos of Clayton Spencer: he and a woman run through the woods n*ked and are skewered by arrows. 

Ordinarily this would be too heteronrmative to research further, but I was intrigued because:

1. The shots were from Clayton's only movie. How many actors show everything in their first and only movie role?

2. He has only two acting credits and no stunt credits listed on the IMDB, but his photos display him in eight movies.  Which is it?

Searching for "Clayton Spencer" and "actor" or "stunts" yields:

A 10-year old Wiradjuli boy from Sydney, he/him and they/them pronouns, who attends the Brolga Dance Academy.  

A teenager who starred in Radium Girls at the Lakeland Performing Arts Center in Florida

Just "Clayton Spenser" revealed: 

The President of Bates College (a woman)

A CEO from Austin

A musician whose album "Roads" is about how he found God.

An attorney in Vancouver.

A professor of chemistry.

At least four college athletes.

Two guys on hookup sites.

A character on Seal Team played by Max Thieriot

I found our Clayton Spencer's Instagram after sorting through eight others: "Spencer for Hire 83," a reference to the crime drama starring Robert Urich (1985-88), and presumably his birth date.  He says that he is from North Carolina, and in the film and "aerospace structure tech industry," but there is no other biographical data.  No pictures of family and friends, nothing from his vacations and the concerts he's attended, no beefcake, just some photos of movies he's been in.

Clayton's Reddit, more of the same: we learn that he lives alone, but otherwise it's all reviews of  Peacemaker and Star Trek: Strange New Worlds, complaints about the Orange Goblin, and "side-mounted my ecoflow alternator charger for better airflow." 

Living alone at age 43?  No personal photos?  I'm beginning to think that Clay Baby is gay. 

An article in The Hollywood Reporter reveals a little more: in 2009, which would have been a few years after his college graduation, "comic book nut" Clayton was working as a teacher in Seoul, Korea.  He stopped at a Quiznos before an opening night screening of X Men: Wolverine.  And Wolverine Hugh Jackman was standing in line behind him!  They chatted briefly. 

Clayton told the story on Reddit, 20th Century Fox found out, and in 2017 flew him to New York for a Logan fan event.  Hugh Jackman remembered the "Quiznos guy" and gave him a t-shirt. Presumably the lady in the middle is Clayton's wife or girlfriend at the time.

Dude keeps his private life private.  So let's check out the movies that he claims to have been in, but the IMDB disagrees: 

More after the break

Sweethearts: Thanksgiving romcom proving that there's gay life in Kansas...um, rural Ohio.. so don't move to Oz

Link to the n*de dudes

Christmas romcoms are always about women leaving the Big City to find infinite joy and belonging in small towns.   Gay men can't relate, since they high-tailed it away from homophobic small towns to Big City gay neighborhoods.  

Sweethearts, on MAX, is a rare Thanksgiving romcom that pushes the small town.  There's gay life in Kansas.  Why move to Oz?

The premise: two life-long best friends are going to the same college but distance-dating the boy/girl back home: 

1. Ben is dating Claire, still in high school.

Ben is played by Nico Hiraga, left, a former semi-pro skateboarder. He has appeared in Booksmart, Love in Taipei, Goodrich, and The Power.

2. Jamie, a girl (Kiernan Shipka), is dating Simon (Charlie Hall, left), who is dumb as a fence post but got into Harvard on a football scholarship.  Say what? 

 The long distance relationships  aren't working out, so the two make a plan to break up with their partners when they all go home for Thanksgiving.  

Obviously they're going to get together or it wouldn't be a romcom.  I'm fast forwarding through their scenes to get to Palmer (Caleb Hearon), the flamboyantly feminine "third friend" pictured in the animated opening. He's probably the standard romcom gay best friend who facilitates the romance, but maybe he'll get a boyfriend of his own.

Correction: I'm also interested in Ben's college roommate Tyler, played by Zach Zucker , a "Bad Bi Boy Clown" -- literally. He trained for two years at the Ecole Philippe Gaulier.  

On his Facebook page, Zach notes that "Bi Visibility Day is cool because it forces all of the people who have caused you pain by denying your existence to look at your pics."  

His character is introduced smooching a girl in bed, but maybe he's bi:

He looks at Ben's fake id and comments: "I'll go out with you.  Just kidding."

Ben has his hands full, so he asks Tyler to take his cell phone from his pocket.  "Whoops, wrong phone.  Just kidding."  

He seems to be dancing with Ben in the closing party scene.

And that's just when  I paused the fast-forwarding.

Paris: "Third Friend" Parker is introduced at Minute 15, calling the duo, wearing a striped shirt and beret, sitting in front of an image of the Eiffel Tower.  He took a gap year after high school to move to Paris, and he is working at a fast-food place near Euro Disney.  Why would visitors to Euro Disney want to see fast-food workers in clichéd French costumes?  

He announces that he is no longer "vaguely pretending to be straight." Really?  Who would think you were straight after talking to you for 30 seconds? 

He'll be coming out to a select group of former classmates at a party at his house on the night before Thanksgiving.

More after the break, including a rural Ohio gay community.  Caution: explicit.

The Chair Company, Episode 1.6: More queer codes at Seth's 18th birthday party. Plus Seth's selfie, a queer puppeteer, Ebenezer Scrooge, and Brock c*ck

Link to the n*de photos

The Chair Company (2025), on MAX, stars Tim Robinson as corporate schlub Ron, whose chair collapses during an important presentation.  Looking for the company that sold the defective piece of office furniture, he finds an empty warehouse, a website with an invented board of directors, and...it gets weirder and weirder, with conspiracies, hidden agendas, and threats. Or is it all a paranoid delusion?

He hires Mike (Joseph Tudisco) to help with the intel gathering.  Eventually they become close, and Mike refuses payment: "We're family."  

His young adult daughter and her girlfriend have substantial roles, and his teenage son Seth (Will Price) displays some queer codes.  Especially in Episode 1.6, "Happy Birthday: A Friend"

Scene 1: The boss (Lou Diamond Philips, top photo) is weekending in Sedona, Arizona with his buds.  He claims that his property management company is important, but they dismiss it as "making pretty boxes."  The real life, the only thing that's important, is spending time with your friends.  No women around; are these guys all gay?

Scene 2: The photos of the fake Board of Directors on the chair company website were taken by someone named Maggie S. during an acting exercise.  Ron goes to the acting studio  and asks around.  No one remembers the exercise, and they all claim not to know a Maggie S. -- except for Headphone Guy (Brendan Jennings, left), who runs off in a panic.  Ron catches up and starts punching and hitting him, yelling, "Who is Maggie S.?"  Then he realizes that everyone is watching him assault a guy, and runs away.

Scene 3: During the chair collapse, Ron accidentally saw up his coworker's dress.  Human Resources got upset, and brought in a consultant to watch their interactions and make sure he isn't stalking or harassing her.  The Consultant is not sure.

Scene 4: The Boss brought back some photos of vibrant colors and textures from Sedona.  He wants them to redo the design of the big Shopping Mall project, to make it "inspiring" and "cool." But he doesn't give them any detailed instructions, so the design team is confused.  This is not connected to the central mystery.  This show has a lot of bit pieces that are weird for their own sake.

Later, they show the Boss their plans for "bold, earthy colors," with textures like sandstone or "a harsher contrast with nickel plating."  He doesn't like it; "dig deeper." 

Scene 5: Ron walks into the house late at night and sees a long-haired chubby guy getting himself a bowl of popcorn.  He says "Hi, Honey" and "Seth, your Dad's home!" before returning to the basement.

Mom explains that he's Richard (Tyler Bunch), working on a project with Seth. 

Tyler Bunch is a member of the Jim Henson Company, appearing as a muppet on 103 episodes of Sesame Street (1998-2024).  He also voiced several characters on 400 episodes of Pokemon (2012-22), and he sings Gilbert and Sullivan.  He is gay in real life.

Ron is not happy with his not-quite-18 year old son being friends with a guy 40 years older, plus it's late: he needs to be in bed so he can play basketball tomorrow.  Seth refuses: "Nope, this is important."

In other news, Son Seth invited Toby to his birthday party.  "He's really excited to come," They haven't seen each other for years because they go to different schools, but when he was thirteen, they performed the Pee-Wee Herman Dance, and Ron joined in: one of the happiest memories Seth has of his dysfunctional Dad. 

Dad Ron doesn't think Son Seth and Toby should be friends.  This upsets Seth.  No wonder: that's two friends you disapproved of in five minutes. Sounds like you're threatened by the thought of your son having someone special in his life.  

Scene 6: Later, in his room, Son Seth drinks while looking at a photo of his junior-high basketball team, with Dad Ron hugging him.  So Dad should be threatened?  "Hi, Honey" Richard is a Dad substitute?

Possible Will selfie on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends. Don't worry, the actor is 25.

Later, Ron meets with "We're family" Mike.  They discuss some more clues about the bogus chair company.  In other news, would Seth like a decommissioned police car for his birthday?

"You're not invited to his party.  It's just for his friends and their parents."

"But I'd really like to come.  We're family, remember."

"No!" Why don't you want him there, buddy?  Afraid that you might let down your defenses and actually care about someone?

Scene 7: More weird stuff at work, and then the Boss wants to discuss changing the Mall plans -- tomorrow.

"But it's my son's birthday party."

"Great, I'll be there!"

Later, Ron looks at the photos he took of the guy he assaulted at the acting class.  A strange tattoo leads him to the chair company's parent website...but at that moment, someone calls to threaten him: "I'm thinking of finally doing something to you."

Scene 8: The birthday party.  Seth is sitting at a table with the "Hi, Honey" Richard, his sister, her girlfriend, and  a boy.  So, no girls? And how does Richard rate the spot next to you? 

 Wait -- you can see under the table that he has one leg touching Seth's and the other touching or nearly touching his  bottom, symbolically controling his s*exual space. As a protector, or to discourage the competition? I guess since he's 18 now, they can date.

The other guests are almost all boys and their parents.  There are one or two teenage girls in the background, but Seth doesn't interact with them. 

More after the break

"A Merry Little Ex-Mas": Pierson Fode in his underwear, two gay dads, Kurt Russell's grandson, and Harry Potter's backside

Link to the n*de dudes

It's time for the annual flood of Christmas romcoms.  They all have about the same plot: A woman with an absurdly high-profile career in the Big City is dragged kicking and screaming to a small town, where she helps save or win something and falls in love with an absurdly hot local.  Is there a run of women moving to small towns every January?

They are usually highly heteronormative, with no gay characters or maybe an assistant back in the Big City, who keeps calling to say "Get back here!  Your big presentation is coming up, and I  can't keep watering your plants!"  But I was recommended A Merry Little Ex-Mas (2025) on Netflix because  hunk du jour Pierson Fode puts out a fire in his underwear.  

So his underwear was on fire?  When Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, was asked "Do you smoke after bedroom activity?" she responded "I don't know.  I've never checked."

I reviewed Pierson's previous movie, The Wrong Paris, but deleted the post due to low pageviews.

Lengthy Prologue: An animated Kate (former Clueless girl Alicia Silverstone) tells us that 20 years ago, she graduated from college and got a job at an amazing architectural firm in the Big City (hey, that was my dream, too, before I was sidelined by the Evangelical subculture, which said that college was only for future ministers).  

She was going to change the world!  

But then Kate met med student Everett (Oliver Hudson, left, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.  He is best known for Scream Queens and for being Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell's kid).   

So she gave up her career and followed him to the small town of Winterlight, Vermont, to become a homemaker. 

Wait --the woman usually gives up the Big City for a small town at the end of the Christmas romcom, not at the beginning. 

20 years later, the kids have grown up, and Kate and Everett have nothing to say to each other, so they have decided on an amicable divorce, one where they lead separate lives but stay friends.  

Scene 1: Kate and Everett in a coffee shop called Bread Zeppelin, har har, talking to the standard Black Friend -- the one who tells the romcom heroine, "Girl, forget your absurdly high profile job and find yourself a man!" 

 In this case she happens to be the mayor of Wintergreen (or whatever the name is), and she's advising Kate to keep her man: "Don't divorce!  You're making a big mistake!" 

The aging hippie couple who own the coffee shop agree: "True love is forever!  No one in a small town has ever gotten a divorce!"

"No problem, I'm moving away anyhow. I'm taking an absurdly high-profile job in the Big City."

"But small towns bring infinite happiness.  You'll be lost and miserable in the Big City."

Scene 2: Next Kate goes to her job -- selling something in a gigantic mansion-turned-store called the Mothership. Geez, that thing is bigger than Harrad's 

Her assistant April (former Sabrina the Teenage Witch Melissa Joan Hart) begs her to reconsider -- infinite happiness as a small town housewife, dreary depression in the Big City, and so on, and then asks about the mechanics of spending Christmas with an ex-husband.

"We're going to do all of the standard traditions as a family, as usual.  We won't tell anyone that we're separated until after Christmas, not even the kids."   

Suddenly Everett's Dads, an elderly mixed-race gay couple, appear with a sweet potato pie.

"Sorry, I already made one," Kate snarks.

They are played by Derek McGrath( Jerry O'Connell's mentor on My Secret Identity) and Geoffrey Owens (Super-hunk Elvin on The Cosby Show).  Both are apparently straight in real life.  It's nice to have some elderly gay guys on screen for a change, but this means there will be no other gay characters -- the rule is, only one, or one couple.  

Next to arrive is Kate's son Gabe, a high school senior currently writing college application essays.  He is played by Wilder Brooks Hudson, Oliver Hudson's kid in his screen debut (nepotism is real).

Wilder is 18 years old, often shirtless on his Instagram, presumably gay because he's shirtless a lot with other guys, in spite of the fawning articles about Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell's grandson "having a girlfriend!!!!" And contrary to what you may expect, he is not named after famous directors Billy Wilder and James Brooks.  

Are we meeting an awful lot of people really fast?

Wait -- all of Kate's Christmas guests are arriving, and bringing food. I think the Mothership is her house, not a palace turned into a store. Why did they talk about selling things out of it?

Pierson Fode putting out a fire in his underwear after the break.

Joe Mande: The incredibly gorgeous Ben of "Modern Family" writes for tv shows that I don't like, shows his d*ck but not his chest

 Link to the n*de photos

Ben (Joe Mande) is introduced in Modern Family Episode 6.17 (2015) as the shy, beset-upon marketing manager at Pritchet's Closets and Blinds, where Jay's daughter Claire has just taken over as boss.  He returns in four episodes of Season 7, mostly to be the butt of jokes.  Lives with his mother?  Owns a cat?  What a loser!  

Claire holds the "little suck up from marketing" in utter contempt, but keeps him around because he will do anything she asks, such as performing "mom" duties so she can pretend to have the perfect work/life balance.

Jay's wife Gloria thinks so little of him that she can never remember his name, although she knows everyone else who works at the company, even the guys in the warehouse.  

 

In Episode 8.12, Ben notes that he has a crush on Claire's adult daughter, Alex.  He doesn't expect her to reciprocate, since he's a total loser, not good enough for her -- or for anyone, really.  He doesn't deserve to have friends or a romance.  But Alex is into losers, and a guy who lives with his mother, owns a cat, works in closets, is constantly ridiculed by everyone, and is over 40 ("actually, I'm 26"): "kiss me!"  

Maybe she is attracted to losers like Ben, Alec (John Karna), Teddy, Sanjay (Suraj Patel), and Arvin (Chris Geere, below) because they are so easy to control, belittle, diminish, and feel superior to.  

She spends four more episodes in Season 8 and two in Season 9 having fun ordering Ben around, making jokes at his expense, ridiculing his interests, and doing bedroom things with him in ways that ignore his needs.

Finally Ben can't take the constant ridicule, and starts seeing a woman who actually likes him.  When Alex finds out in Episode 9.5, they break up, and he is never mentioned again.

I kept thinking, what the heck is wrong with these people?  Ben is gorgeous, with that round face, expressive eyes, and scruffy beard. At 5'9", a member of the Short Guy Brigade.  And always wearing a business suit!  When he was on stage, I couldn't pay attention to anyone or anything else.

So let's try a profile.  

Question #1: Gay in real life?  No: he's married to the "beautiful, kind, funny, supportive, warm-hearted Kylie Augustine," and apparently a devotee of Hooters. 

Question #2: Any gay content in his movies and tv shows?

Joe was born in Albuquerque in 1983, went to high school in Minnesota, and received a BFA in Writing from Emerson College in 2006.  He began doing stand-up comedy in college, and moved to New York after graduation to go professional.

 His first film role is in Yeti: A Love Story (2006): five college students go camping.  Joe goes off into the woods to pee (d*ck on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends), and is skewered.  The others are killed, but not by a yeti, by a weird cult.  The male yeti is a good guy, who rescues Adam (Adam Malamut).  The two fall in love.  I can't tell if it is homophobic or not, but Malamut is straight in real life, and according to one review, "incredibly annoying."

More after the break. 

Gemstones Episode 2.3, Continued: the darkness of roller coasters, club-bulges, hookups, and apples. With n*de musclemen bonus

  

Link to the n*de dudes

We're not finished with Kelvin's descent into the Darkness, but first an interlude with Eli answers some questions about his past.  

Eli's Past: Gideon is clearing out stuff, in preparation for moving into Roy Gemstone's old house on the estate, when he comes across a suitcase full of Eli's wrestling memorabilia.  Plus some newspaper articles about Glendon Marsh, Junior's father, who gave Eli a job as a loan enforcer. He had a whole crime syndicate; he ordered the murders of some police officers who were snooping around -- like Thaniel Block!  So maybe Eli didn't just break thumbs -- maybe he and Junior were  full-fledged hit men!

Jesse concludes that Eli brought Junior to town to kill Thaniel!  He rushes to tell Judy.  

While they are talking, Judy's husband BJ comes in with even more evidence: He was out rollerblading in the amusement park on the estate, and came across Eli riding the rollercoaster by himself, over and over.  (wait -- don't you need someone to turn it and off for you?).

"Funny -- Daddy always hated that rollercoaster," Judy muses.  Maybe he's using it to work himself into a murderous frenzy, so he can kill more people!

The Amusement Park: Jesse and Judy go to the park to investigate. Suddenly Kelvin appears, having tracked them down (or BJ told him where they were)

Notice that he's trying to dilute the raw homoerotic power of his usual outfits.  He still wears a power-inducing lion t-shirt and a club-bulge (or is that his real package?), but he's hiding it with a granny sweater and a cap.  

And what's with the wedding ring?  It's been a few days since the dressing room scene. Did he and Keefe solve the "buddies or boyfriends" dilemma by getting married?

Kelvin pocketed Eli's cell phone after "grow up" speech, so they can search it for clues.  After a bit where they try to think of the passcode -- it's Eli's birthday, but when is his birthday? --they find a text to Martin from the night of the murders: "Went out with Junior. Things went sideways. Need your help here."  Then "Thanks for cleaning up my mess." Uh-oh. proof positive!

A Symbolic Castration: The siblings confront Eli, who tells them what really happened on the night of the murders: he and Junior go bowling. Four ladies sitting beneath a "Hot Snacks" sign spread their legs,  Junior picks the one with the biggest..smile, and Eli picks the Asian.  She takes him back to her place and purrs, growls, smooches at him, takes off things -- why did she go bowling dressed in an evening gown that looks like it should be worn to the Academy Awards?

Eli is enthusiastic about hooking up, but for some reason he decides to go to the bathroom and shave off his pubic hair first. Dude, a lady is waiting with her legs spread.  Isn't that, like, a heterosexual mating signal?   He accidentally cuts himself on the testicle, starts bleeding, and calls Martin to help.  So, are you going to see her again?

In the Medieval Arthurian epics written by Chrétien de Troyes and others; the Fisher King suffers from a wound in his groin or hip, symbols for his genitals, often as punishment for s*xual infidelity.  As a result, he is impotent, and his land is infertile.  Here Eli suffers from a symbolic castration, maybe as punishment for "two-timing" Aimee-Leigh: in this universe, true love lasts forever, even behind the grave, and betraying that love is worse than murder: "Why couldn't you have just killed someone?" Kelvin yells.  

The siblings stomp out.

More after the break

The Swashbuckling Boyfriends of November

November is my favorite month.  The colors are soft and muted, the sky is not too bright, the air is cool but not cold, it's festive but not overwhelming like December, and it contains my birthday and Thanksgiving, the two holidays that provide the most pleasure and least guilt.

Besides, when I was a kid, November and December were the only months where I could read without getting yelled at.

Mom and Dad disapproved of reading -- it was a waste of time, it would strain my brain, it was antisocial -- I should be out playing sports, or at least watching tv with the family.  Science fiction and fantasy was especially suspect, likely to turn me into an atheist, or, much worse, a Catholic.  So I always hid books, or read at my friends' house, or said they were for school.

But in November,they actually were for school.  Teachers always assigned us swashbuckling adventure novels to read over Thanksgiving and Christmas vacation!

It wasn't my fault -- blame my teacher.  Sorry, no time to play basketball in the driveway, or touch football in the schoolyard -- I had to get through this book.

Four of the books we were assigned were particularly memorable.  They had gay subtexts as well as a heteronormative primary plot.

1. The Count of Monte Cristo, by Alexander Dumas (1844).  Edmond Dantes escapes from his unjust imprisonment in the Chateau d'If, and gets vengeance on the people who betrayed him.  He gets a girlfriend, but also forms several passionate male friendships, notably with Peppino, a boy who was also betrayed and becomes his...um...."servant."  Henry Cavill, left, is one of the more muscular Dantes in film.

2. The Three Musketeers, by Alexander Dumas (1844). A young man named d'Artagnan wants to become a Musketeer, one of the king's bodyguards. The three current Musketeers reject him, but then find him worthy.  He gets a girlfriend, but rejects her; his most passionate relationships come with men. (Chris O'Donnell, left, is one of many hunky d'Artagnans).

3. Treasure Island, by Robert Louis Stevenson (1883). A boy helps pirates find buried treasure, with nary a woman in sight.

4. The Prisoner of Zenda, by Anthony Hope (1894). An Englishman on holiday in Ruritania bears a striking resemblance to King Rudolph, who has disappeared, and agrees to impersonate him.  He falls in love with the King's fiancee, but has to leave her.  The king and the commoner share many a touching moment.

5. The Scarlet Pimpernel, by the Baroness Orczy (1905).  A precursor of Zorro, Batman, and all of the other superheroes with a milktoast alter ego, Sir Percy Blakeney pretended to be gay -- weak, shrill, feminine -- but he was really a hetero hero, saving French aristocrats from the guillotine during the Reign of Terror.  He has a girlfriend, whom he marries, but he also spends time rescuing male aristocrats, notably the hunky Sir Andrew.

6. Captain Blood, by Raphael Sabatini (1922).  Dr. Peter Blood, an Irish physician (who would want to go to a doctor called Blood?), is wrongly convicted of treason and sold into slavery in the Caribbean.  He and his friend Jeremy Pitt commandeer a ship and become pirates. (Ross Alexander, top photo, played Jeremy Pitt in the 1935 movie).

All of these novels have been filmed many times, usually with a hetero-romance tacked on to provide a "fade out kiss" ending.  But I didn't know that during those long, cool November afternoons.

Zakary Risinger: Family Equality, the Gay Men's Chorus, a Pride cake, a drag housewife, Ryan's backside, twink d*cks, and I'm still not sure

  

Link to the n*de photos

I'm getting some strong gay vibes from Zakary Risinger,  but I've been fooled before by straight guys pretending to be gay for a lark, so I'll be careful when conducting the research.

What does this photo mean?  Is one of the guys giving the flowers to the other, or are they both presenting them to a girl?  Or are they eating them?

Better start with the gay roles.  Zak has 28 on-screen acting credits, beginning when he was a baby. His most significant roles are:

Young George Michael on an episode of the homophobic comedy Arrested Development (2018).  Not the gay singer, George Michael Bluth (Michael Cera), a "timid" young adult with a crush on his female cousin.

Four episodes of General Hospital (2021-22) as Danny Morgan, son of mob enforcer Jason Morgan (Steve Burton, who appeared in Playgirl in 1995).  

Danny visits his Dad (in prison for a murder he didn't commit), vows to find the real murderer, watches the Thanksgiving Day Parade with his friend Rocco (Finn Carr), and learns that Jason has died for the second time (he has actually disappeared while escaping from kidnappers again).  

Two episodes of Them (2022), a tv series about an African-American family that moves to an all-white neighborhood during the 1960s, and faces racial prejudice and paranormal evil. Ryan Kwanten (left) plays "the neighborhood milkman couched in a Southern California dreamboat."  Zak's character is not mentioned in the plot synopses, but presumably is a racist student at the school.

An episode of Young Sheldon (2022): In Sunday school at the First Baptist Church of Medford (East Texas, Hell-fe-Sartain, 1990s). his character calls Sheldon's sister "white trash," so she punches him in the nose. His parents complain to the pastor.

Not much gay content there, but I'll check Zak's social media to see if he is gay in real life. 

His film, Darren Dalton, Superspy/Screenwriter, won the 2025 LACHSA Film Festival.  I don't know what that is.

Turns out it is the Los Angeles County High School for the Arts,  Way to self-aggrandize, buddy!

At LACHSA, he performed in Once on This Island, a one-act about a peasant girl who falls in love with a rich boy in the Antilles, while the French Caribbean gods look on.  Sounds heteronormative.

He also appeared in Boxing the Sun, a full-length play about New Yorkers trying to survive during "a heat wave in the urban jungle."  In a shot posted to his Instagram, he and another guy look like they're about to fight, but one of the comments says "Just kiss, already."

Zakary with his brothers on  July 4th: "today is a day of reflection in our family."  Really?  You're trying to reflect with all those fireworks and explosions?

Sounds rather family-friendly, aka heteronormative.  The top photo must be about two guys competing for a girl's affection.

More after the break. 

Little Max: A Gay Father in 1950s Comic Books

Whenever we visited my relatives in Indiana, I spent the night with my Cousin Buster in the trailer in the dark woods, and we would squeeze into his narrow twin bed, our bodies pressed together, reading Harvey Comics.  I read until long after he fell asleep, associating the tales of friendly ghosts and little devils with that warmth and affection.

Two boys together clinging, one the other never leaving....

In high school, I looked back on those moments of perfect happiness, and tried to get my hands on the Harvey Comics I read all those years ago (actually less than 10 years ago, but when you're 16, it seems like an eternity).

So I put an ad in the Rock Island Argus, and a very cute Augustana student named Clay answered with an offer of five Little Max comics from 1958-1959 for a dollar each.

I never heard of Little Max, they were from before I was born, and a dollar was four times what a hew comic cost at the Comics Cave.  But some of them had the familiar jack-in-the-box logo and tv set icons displaying the stars, so I bought them anyway.

It was a weird type of deja vu, like looking at a photo of your parents before you were born: familiar, yet bizarre, with a story going on that you are not a part of and can't possibly understand.  

What are you covering up, Max buddy?

The star, Little Max, looks like Little Audrey in drag: he is drawn in the familiar Harvey style, cherubic-cute, with a big head and gigantic eyes. He doesn't speak, and his thought balloons are full of malapropisms that suggest a learning disorder: "They're both so kindly and generosity!"

 

His mentor, chum, adopted father, or something is Joe Palooka, a tall, very muscular guy with a weird toothless grin. Max calls him "Dear Joe."

Later research revealed that Joe Palooka was a boxer in a comic strip drawn by Ham Fisher from 1930 through the 1980s.  He was so popular that he appeared in twelve movies (played by Stuart Erwin and Joe Kirkwood), a radio series, a tv series, and a lot of merchandise, including lunch boxes,  a board game, and a mountain.  "Palooka" became slang for a big, dumb guy.

Little Max was a supporting character in the Palooka comic strip, a mute shoe-shine boy who Joe befriended.  His comic book series ran for 73 issues, from 1949 to 1961.

Joe has also adopted or is mentoring an unnamed girl.  Max calls her "Dear Her."  

She may have a speech disorder, saying "Maxth" and "Mith-ter Palooka," but I think girls in the 1940s affected a lisp to appear more childlike.  

More after the break

Modern Family Episode 8.14: Alex is promoted, Cam is injured, and Phil dreams of parking lots. With a dozen gay actors, two short guys, and Nathan Fillion

  

Link to the n*de photos

We've been watching Modern Family, even without Adam Devine as Andy.  Last night's episode was 8.14, "Heavy is the Head" (2017) -- a little dated, but it had a lot of gay representation and beefcake.

The Phil/Jay Plot

Scene 1:  Phil (center) and his father-in-law Jay (right) are at the groundbreaking for his lifelong dream of building his own apartment complex, Dunphy Towers. Corporate guy Jared Cook approaches with an offer to buy the property for 20% more than they paid.  Phil says no, but Jay wants to play with him for a bit and get the offer up.

On RG Beefcake and Boyfriends: Jonathan Chase's backside in Another Gay Movie (2006)

Scene 2: Foreman Pete (Robert Baker, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) found a sewer line running through Phil/Jay's property, so they can't dig the basement of the new apartment building.  Shouldn't they have checked that first?  Plus there are pockets of methane gas everywhere, bursting into flame at random moments.  The project will have to be scrapped.

Scene 3: Phil and Jay approach Jared Cook, the corporate guy who wanted to buy the property, and accept his offer.  Nope, he heard about the structural problems, and the deal is off the table. 

Scene 4: They decide to turn the space into a parking lot.  Problem solved.  Phil announces that this was his dream all along.  Really?

The Claire/Gloria Plot

Scene 1:  Claire has to be careful around her birthday, because her stepmother Gloria (who is the same age) keeps giving her dumb gifts, then complains that she doesn't appreciate them.  This year Gloria is giving her a spa day, which is ridiculous -- she hates that girly stuff.  So she claims that she's too busy.

Scene 2: Claire is the new CEO at her father's company, Pritchet's Closets and Blinds.  Her marketing manager, Ben (the incredibly cute Joe Mande), complains that the workers are going ballistic about the budget cuts.  No overtime pay?  No bagel?

"We didn't have the Christmas sales we expected."  Do people usually put closets under the tree?

"Maybe we could fire someone, like Kenny in the warehouse."

"No, I love him. He makes fun of you."

Claire holds a staff meeting and claims that she's making sacrifices, too,  like flying coach. And she's taking off her office door to indicate that she's always available.

Ulp, when she enters her office, Gloria is there, with a huge gourmet lunch. Now the staff won't believe that she's cutting corners!

Scene 3: While Ben stands guard, Claire rushes through her caviar-and-champaign lunch.  She thinks she's done, but no, Gloria has arranged for the spa to come to the office.  And Claire can't say anything, or Gloria will get hurt feelings. 

When the swishy masseur Joshua (Artie O'Daly) appears, a worker asks who he is.  "Um..he's applying for a job as a forklift operator.  There are lots of gay forklift operators." 

Joshua:  "I'm not gay!"  

Left: Artie O'Daly is gay in real life. He is currently starring in the youtube sitcom Bad Boy, with Blase Maffia III.

Scene 4: The massage, plus a manicure. Claire is starting to unclench, but assistant Ben is having more and more trouble keeping the workers out: "Your girlfriend's office smells like truffles."

"My girlfriend is your boss, and she is not my girlfriend."

More after the break