Denny Miller: Gilligan's Island, Tarzan, Quark, n*de dudes, and moments of gay promise

Link to the n*de photos

Picture it: a blustery October day sometime in the 7th or 8th grade. I am sitting in the living room after school with my brother and sister, drinking hot chocolate and watching a rerun of Gilligan's Island (1964-67), the sitcom about "seven stranded castaways" on a tropical island.  Visitors from the outside world drop by in almost every episode, and promise to help, but something always goes wrong.  This time, in the episode "Big Man on Little Stick" (February 20, 1965), the visitor is Duke Williams, a blond muscleman in bulging cut-off jeans -- he was caught in a tsunami and surfed the 250 miles from Hawaii (just go with it).  

I am overwhelmed by joy.  I have seen shirtless men in comic books, and in Tarzan movies, but never on tv, and Duke Williams is beautiful!  I can't take my eyes off him.

It gets better: Duke could surf back to Hawaii and send help, but he doesn't want to, because he likes the girls, Ginger and Mary Anne.  So the castaways have to convince him that they already have boyfriends.  The Professor has no trouble kissing Ginger, but Gilligan doesn't like girls; Mary Anne has to grab him by the ears to force a kiss.    

(Spoiler alert: when he gets back to Hawaii, Duke hits his head on a rock and forgets about the castaways, so they're still stranded.)

Wait -- my parents, teacher, Sunday school teacher, everyone tells me again and again that someday soon, I will "discover" girls, drop my same-sex pals and pictures of musclemen instantly and without hesitation, and devote the rest of my life to the pursuit of feminine curves and smiles.  It happens to every boy.  There is no escape. Yet Gilligan -- played by Bob Denver, a thirty year old man -- has escaped.  (Interestingly, Bob Denver's earlier character, Maynard G. Krebs on The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis, was also "allergic to girls").

Duke Williams, played by Denny Miller, becomes an icon of hope.

I don't remember seeing Denny Miller in anything else, but I probably did.  He has a very full biography on the IMDB: Born in Bloomington, Indiana in 1934 as Scott Miller, grew up in Silver Spring, Maryland and Baldwin, New York, and Los Angeles.  He received a full scholarship to play basketball for UCLA.  He was discovered by a talent scout during his senior year (1956), and cast in Some Came Running (1958) with Dean Martin.

Next came a modern, up-to-date beach boy Tarzan, the Ape Man (1959). It was apparently a poor knockoff that he filmed in eight weeks, with most of the jungle scenes grabbed from Johnny Weissmuller movies.  Still, he bragged that he was the sixth in the grand tradition of movie Tarzans.

Including the silent era, it's Elmo Lincoln (1918), Gene Pollar ( 1920), Dempsey Tablar (1920), James Pierce (1927), Frank Merrill (1928-29), Johnny Weissmuller (1932-1948), Lex Barker (1949-1953), and Gordon Scott (1955-1960), so Denny was #9.

At some point he changed his name to Denny Miller, and got a string of guest spots, mostly in tv Westerns:  Overland Trail, Have Gun -- Will Travel, Riverboat, Laramie, The Rifleman. He may have also made ends meet with physique photography in the burgeoning early 1960s gay subculture (n*de photos on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

More after the break.

Sergei Silney: Teen bodybuilder with a judo master dad, a cat, and some desserts, but no girls. With 5 Russian guys

  

Instagram recommended this guy, apparently a teen bodybuilder from Russia named Sergei.  Since he's a civilian, not an actor, I'll make up a last name: Silney, "Strong."

Not a lot of biographical details are available unless you can read Russian (I took a year, back in college, but it doesn't help much).  All I can tell from his posts: he's been to Paris, New York, and Vienna, and he watches both European and American football.  He likes cats.  How did he get it into that position? I can't even persuade my cat to sit on my lap.

And very nice desserts.  His mug says "I'll stop drinking now and get busy."

Sergei started his Instagram in November 2024.  Writing in English, he says that he is going to post on muscles and sports.  He believes in all nationalities and religions coming together, so he will block you for making political statements or trying to convert him to your religion.  Also no "hints about orientation": it would be "unnatural' for him to live with a wife or girlfriend. 

I imagine that the word "orientation" is not taught often in English classes in Russia, so Sergei has done a little research.  

Sergei's Dad Alexander won a silver medal for judo in the 2012 Olympics. He has also received gold or silver medals in four World and eight European Judo Championships.

The full profile, with n*de photos, is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends 

See also: Jordan Scott and Noah: Stunt performer, model, and Zac Efron double with a bodybuilder son and some d*ck pics

Kurt R: Catholic, dancer, bodybuilder, TikTok star with a potential boyfriend and three bodybuilder brothers

Alexi Kapishnikov: two acting roles, modeling, commercials, a polar plunge...and gay photos? In Russia?

Chi Lewis-Parry: The "28 Years Later" zombie, kickboxer, gladiator, and Gelf has gay fans and a lot of beneath-the-belt equipment

  

Link to the n*de photos

Now that 28 Years Later is streaming, we can get better screen shots of Samson, an Alpha: a bigger, stronger, more sentient, and well-nigh indestructable zombie, who strides across the ruins of Scotland with his semi-sentient pack,  tearing off survivors' heads, chasing Jamie and his son Spike (Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Alfie Williams) and being studied by Dr. Kelson (Ralph Fiennes). 

Did you notice the energy in the interactions between Samson and Dr. Kelson? A definite appreciation of the muscleman beneath the zombie.  Under other circumstances, they might have become boyfriends.

Samson caused a lot of pearl-clutching among skittish heterosexuals because he was n*dE with his gigantic Samson swinging around. Um...he pulls people's heads right out of their bodies, and you're traumatized by a willie?

The gays loved it, of course.  Even Erik (Edvin Ryding) seems impressed.  Under other circumstances, he would be giving Samson...um.... 

There are several photos on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.

Left: Edvin as Prince Wilhelm in Young Royals (2021-24).

Actor Chi Lewis-Parry notes that he used a prosthetc.  There's a British law that, when there are kids on the set, you can't show your real equipment  Besides, he's "always hugging people," and you can hardly do that "fully in the nip." 

But in real life he's "Six foot eight inches."

Funny, according to the biography on Tapology, Chi is only 6'7", not 6'8"...oh, right.  Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more. 

Chi was born in 1983 in Hitchin, Hertfordshire, and began his career as basketball player before moving on to kickboxing  and MMA (mixed martial arts).  Using the stage name Chopper,  he competed with the United Arab Emirates Warriors before signing on with the American UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship).  Here he fights the Egyptian Hulk, Mahmoud Hassen, for an eight-second knockout.

In 2015, he posted "I am tenacious, I'm unanimous, I'm infamous, I'm superb, dashing, marvelous, gargantuan, heroic, furious, greatness, fearsome, a winner! Well, that's what my mum told me growing up, so it must be true."

More after the break

Hunter Revealed: Does Fred Dryer, the epitome of 1980s macho muscle, have gay photos in his past?

Link to the n*de photos

Hunter (1984-91) starred Fred Dryer as Rick Hunter, a "renegade cop who bends the rules and takes justice into his own hands" (that's like every cop on tv).  He is partnered with the "stunning"  Sgt. McCall (Stefanie Kramer) for cases involving serial killers, gangs, drug dealers, and guys who murder their wives.  Just the thing for the the 1980s, when the rhetoric changed from "let's rehabilitate them" to "lock'em up."  

We didn't watch in West Hollywood, of course.  After Moonlighting, Remington Steele, The Scarecrow and Mrs. King, and Cheers, who wants to see yet another "will they or won't they?" straight-subtext couple? Besides, it aired on Saturday night, for old people moaning about how great life was in the old days, then on Monday opposite Murphy Brown and Designing Women.  Which would you watch?

But we knew about Fred Dryer: 6'6" (enough about the six foot, let's hear about the six inches), brawny, hirsute, with muscles that hardened on the street, not in some sissy gym.  

He grew up in Hawthorne, California, was a football star at Lawndale High and San Diego State, then played for the New York Giants and Los Angeles Rams in a career that lasted for 13 years (1969-81) and won him 104 sacks, 1 pro-bowl, and 1 all-bowl.

Ok, we didn't know all of those details -- I don't even know what a sack is.

We may have seen Dryer when he switched from football to acting, guesting as hunks on Laverne and Shirley (1980),  Lou Grant (1981), CHIPS (1982), and  Hart to Hart (1984).

Not to mention  four episodes of Chips (1982-87), playing focus character Sam Malone's former teammate on the Boston Red Sox, now a flashy ladies' man sports reporter.

We may even have tuned in to Hunter on occasion, or to Land's End (1995-96), about another renegade cop with a "stunning" partner, just to catch a glimps of Dryer's stuff.

Dryer never played a gay character or expressed the tiniest feminine-coded interest, on screen or in real life.  He scowled and smirked through the world, never doubting for a moment that there were buddies to watch the game with and babes to kiss in the moonlight, that no man in human history had ever wanted to kiss a man.  

Until the n*de photo appeared on some of the protypical 1990s gay celebrity websites (and on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends)

It showed someone who looked like a young Dryer in an early 1960s haircut, showing off his physique.  Black and white, like  Physique Pictorial and other early gay-coded physique magazines, which just started publishing n*de photos in 1964. When Dryer was 18 years old.

We were entranced.  The icon of heteronormativity had a gay past.  Or a gay-for-pay past.  

Nitpickers pointed out that the guy doesn't look 18, and his hairstyle is appropriate for the 1950s, not the shaggy hippie 1960s, but tiny details couldn't get in the way of a good story: Fred Dryer was, or had been, one of us.

More after the break

"House of Guinness": Heirs to a beer empire in 1868 Ireland. With a gay brother, shirtless hunks, Irish hiphop, and a heck of a lot of d*cks

 

Link to the n*de dudes

I've been having trouble recently, beginning reviews of movies and tv shows and then not liking them, or when I like them, there's no gay representation or beefcake, so I can't review them here.   So this time I cheated by checked in advance: House of Guinness has a gay character, and lots of the actors have appeared n*de.

Episode 1 Prologue: Closeup of the beer-making process, with the ingredients, water, hops, and so on.  A sweaty bare-chested bloke adds the fire.  I like this tv series already.  Then comes family, money, and rebellion.  

Scene 1: St. James Gate, Dublin, 1868:  As Foreman Rafferty (James Norton, left) walks through the factory, a dude asks if there will be trouble today. Of course, there's always trouble with the Guinness Family. 

Outside, someone throws a beer bottle at the logo, and Prohibitionists burn an effigy of Benjamin Guinness: "A brewer of sin and debauchery!"  His funeral is today, and they are intent on preventing his procession from making it to the church.

The Temperance Movement was nearly as popular in 19th century Ireland as in the U.S., attributing almost all crime, poverty, disease, and insanity to alcohol consumption.  

Meanwhile, Fenian Leader Patrick (Seamus O'Hara) tells his followers than the Guiness heirs  are weak and divided, so this is a perfect time to free Ireland -- by attacking the funeral procession!  "Grab whatever weapons you can find, but spare the horses -- all horses are Catholic."

England occupied Ireland until 1922, forbidding the use of the Irish language, discriminating against Catholics, and promoting stereotypes that are still common today.  There were lots of revolts, rebellions, and terrorists acts, notably from the Fenian Brotherhood.

In the factory (very impressive set, lots of workers), Foreman Rafferty tells the men to arm themselves.  They have to fight to get the boss's corpse through to the church.

The battle is accompanied by the hiphop song "Get Your Brits Out," by Kneecap. Ordinarily I dislike contemporary music in a historical drama, but not when it's mostly in Irish:

Ach Stalford agus an DUP

Gach lá, taobh amuigh de mo theach

"Go back to Dublin if you want to rap"

Anois éist, I’m gonna say this once

Yous can all stay just don’t be c*nts

 

Scene 2: Iveagh House, the Guiness family home (built 1736, now the headquarters of the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade).  Femme, decadent Edward (Louis Partridge) complains that his button-down conservative brother Arthur (Anthony Boyle) has been in London so long, he's lost his Irish accent.

The third brother, Benjamin (Finn O'Shea, top photo) is asleep on the couch, still hung over from one of his benders.

They discuss the hypocrisy of everyone pretending to grieve, when the Irish hated him, and the English are happy that he is gone: now they can manipulate the children.  

Sister Anne tells them to shush their bickering; it's time for the funeral, and they have to act like a civilized Christian family: "Decadent Edward, change your shirt. Drunken Benjamin, change into some clothes you haven't slept in. Conservative Arthur, just change." 

More after the break

Skyler Gisondo's Hot/H*ng Photos, Part 5: A bathtub, a glory h*le, b*ndage with Scotty, bonus Corenswet and Hoult

   

 Link to the n***de photos

This is a collection of hot or humorous photos of  Skyler Gisondo, star of The Santa Clarita Diet, The Righteous Gemstones, and Superman

1. "Another photo collection?  Haven't you seen enough of me?"

I can't help it, buddy.  You keep posting interesting pics.

2. And now that you're starring in Superman, we have interesting photos of David Corenswet to worry about, too.

3. And Nicholas Hoult

4. "Hey, I thought this was a photo collection about me."

Sorry.  How about a long-hair bathtub pic? 

5. "Have you met my girlfriend?"

Odd time to introduce her.

More after the break

Walker Bryant: Straight social influencer with...um...who cares? Just look at him. With bonus Manny d*ck

 

Link to the n*de photos

Walker Bryant is...um...he was born in Columbus, Ohio in 2006, and moved to...um

He moved to Los Angeles to pursue a career as...um...an actor.  He's into bond*ge...I mean boogie boarding...and... c*ks..

Dang it, I can't concentrate on my profile.  Put some clothes on, dude!

Didn't help.

Ok, this helps.  You have that long ratboy face that I find unappealing.  And you're hetero -- every third photo on your Instagram shows you kissing, cuddling with, and groping your girlfriend.

More after the break

Jay R. Ferguson: The "obviously gay" teen idol of the 1990s moves on to play a 1960s sleazoid and the dad of two gay sons. With Jay and Carter c*ocks

 

Link to the Jay and Carter c*ocks

In the early 1990s, I was living in West Hollywood, and completely immersed in the LGBT community.  Media from the Straight World was suspect, if not homophobic than heteronormative, presenting men and women gazing at each other as the meaning of life.  So we chose our television programs carefully. On Monday nights, it was Fresh Prince of Bel Air (Carleton, sigh!), Blossom (Joey Lawrence, sigh!), and Designing Women (drag queen inspiration Suzanne Sugarbaker).  Certainly not Evening Shade (1990-94), with Burt Reynolds as a football coach (ugh!) in a small town (ugh!) in Arkansas (ugh!).

So when this photo of a shirtless, partying young man began appearing on all of the gay celebrity websites, we had no idea who he was. 

The photos kept coming.  We discovered that he was Jay R. Ferguson, who played Taylor, son of Burt Reynolds' character Wood.  Wood?  Really?

 Generally he was swishing it up, as in this iconic photo: apparently saying "Hey, Girl!" in a classic twink outfit, a short top. a bare midriff, and jeans with a club bulge.  Obviously gay!  

In the days when television was entirely heterosexist or homophobic,when even the most flamboyant actor stayed in the closet or saw his career fade away, seeing "one of us" was amazing.  

Unfortunately, the only way to conduct research was to buy a teen magazine -- and the Different Light bookstore on Santa Monica did not stock Tiger Beat.  

The show ended, the photo stream ended, and we forgot about the obviously-gay Jay.  .

For thirty years.

Until 2025, when The Real O'Neils (2016-2018) appeared on Hulu:  a conservative Irish-Catholic family having to deal with a number of problems: Dad wants a divorce; the daughter is an atheist; the oldest son (Matthew Shively) has an eating disorder; the youngest son (Noah Galvin) is gay.  

Yeah, I don't like "gay" being portrayed as a problem, either, but I like Noah Galvin.

And the hunky dad is played by...Jay R. Ferguson!

Three questions:

1. What has he been doing in the years since Evening Shade?

2. Any n*de photos?

3. Is he really gay?

1. What has he been doing?

Jay's first project after Evening Shade was Higher Learning (1995), which is not a teen sex comedy: Omar Epps (left) stars as a student experiencing racism at Columbia University.  But Jay did show us his backside (whilewith a girl).

And an under-the-covers e*rection.

Next  Jay moved into teen horror (Campfire Tales, 1997),  sex comedy (Pink as the Day She Was Born, 1997), teen angst (Blue Ridge Falls, 1999), and dark secrets (The In Crowd, 2000), before finding his niche in television:

Glory Days (2001-02).  Oddly, it's not about soldiers, it stars Eddie Cahill as a writer who dished the dirt on residents of his home town, and is surprised when he returns to find that they don't like him.  Jay plays the sheriff.

Judging Amy (2003-4), which is not about a judge named Amy.  A woman has problems with her mother, husband, and child.  Jay plays a doctor.

In a 2005 episode of Medium, Allison realizes that her troubled half-brother Michael (Ryan Hurst) has a "secret."   One assumes that it's being gay, but it's actually that he shares her gift of seeing the future.  Jay plays his buddy.  That's as close to a gay character as he gets.

Surface (2005-2006):  Marine biologist Lake (Lake?): her "will they or won't they?" sparring partner, insurance salesman Rich (Jay), and a teenage boy (Carter Jenkins, left, recent photo) discover a "new and dangerous" species of marine life.  This one actually looks interesting.

By the way, Carter, who went on to star in Shadow Diaries, has an adult video (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

Beefcake and Bonding in the Green Library

When I was studying French in high school,  if I ever tired of Tintin, Alix and Enak, Corentin, and Spirou and Fantasio, I could move on to the small square children's books published by the Librairie Hachette, the Bibliotheque Rose (pink) for humor and the Bibliotheque Verte (green) for action/adventure.

I preferred the green, especially Georges Bayard's Michel series, about a 15-year old and his older brother who sleuthed like the Hardy Boys (Michel a Rome, Michel en plongee, Michel et Monsieur X, etc.)  Except there were more kidnappings and last-minute rescues than the Hardy Boys faced, more stories set on boats and at the beach, and  unlike the American adventure boy series of the 1940s and 1950s  Hachette was not skimpy on the beefcake.  He was as physique-intensive as the British boys annuals.  Apparently being a teen sleuth gives you a magnificent physique.

I also liked the Italian street urchin of David Daniell's "By Jiminy" books in his French translation, Cricketto (Cricketto de Napoli, Cricketto et le petite prince, Cricketto dans la foret vierge, and so on).  He became a lean, muscular teenager, who adventured and buddy-bonded with his older friend and benefactor, Tom Trevor.  The illustrations favored black speedos for Tom and red for Cricketto.

Willis Lindquist's Haji of the Elephants is about a young Indian mahout and his Western boyfriend, in the tradition of Sabu, Jonny and Hadji, and Terry and Raji.  But in the French translation, they both became teenagers in dhotis with beautifully drawn chests and shoulders.

Rene Guillot wrote many juvenile adventure stories about massive Tarzans raised in the wilderness, such as Le Chef au masque d'or. 

And I can't even begin to count the homoerotic subtexts in Philippe Ebly's "Conquerants de l'Impossible" series, about three buffed, eternally shirtless teenagers from different time periods: Serge (modern France), Xolotl (Aztec Mexico), and Thibault (Medieval France).  They band together in a complex plot arc that decides the fate of worlds, while never so much as looking at a girl.

Ebly also wrote the "Evades du temps" series (Time Runaways), about two  teenagers, Thierry and Didier, who are hiking through a mysterious woods when they become unstuck in time, like Paul in Spellbinder.  They meet the prehistoric teenager Kouroun, who doesn't own a shirt, and band together to fight supernatural enemies and look for a way home.

They even had gay-themed novels, such as Pierre Loti's Iceland Fisherman.

I wonder if my French teacher noticed that I only borrowed the books with the beefcake covers.

In college I discovered a whole new collection, the Signe de Piste.

I go to the first Gay Rights March in the State of Iowa, with Thomas the Episcopal Priest and Mickey the Muscle

  

Link to NSFW version

June 1982, after my junior year at Augustana College.  Thomas, the former Episcopalian priest who I met with my ex-boyfriend Fred last year, calls to invite me to Des Moines for the first Gay Rights March in Iowa. 

I have never heard of such a thing.

"We march to protest police harassment, discrimination in jobs and housing, sodomy laws, that sort of thing.  They have them in cities all over the country.  It's always close to June 28th, the anniversary of the Stonewall Riots."

I have never heard of the Stonewall Riots, either.  But count me in.

June 27th, 8:00 pm: Thomas, his lover (in those days it was always "lover," not "partner"),  six other gay men, and two lesbians sit on folding chairs and on the floor in his rec room, making banners: "Stop Gay Police Harassment,"  "We Are Your Children," "Gay is Good," "Gay People are People Too."  

"Maybe not the catchiest slogans," Thomas tells me, "But idea is to get the word "gay" out there, to let the straights know that there are gay people even in Iowa."

I sit next to Mickey, the only other guy my age, a grad student in Russian at the University of Iowa: short, tan heavily muscled, very attractive, with dirty blond hair and a round boyish face.  We chat a bit, but don't exchange any personal information -- in those days you were circumspect, even among other gay people.

Thomas walks around the room, looking at each of the guys.  Finally he stops in front of me and Mickey. "I want you guys to take first place, with the banner that says ;Gay is Good.'  We want some muscle out front, to show the straights that we're not all weak little sissies."

Mickey grins.  "Up for being partners?"

Marching at the front, coming out to the whole state?  "Um...well, what if one of my professors sees me on the news?  I could get expelled."

Thomas laughs.  "Don't worry, there won't be any tv cameras, or newspaper reporters.  The media ignores us.  We might get a write-up in The Daily Planet."  Drake University's student-run alternative paper.

I am still nervous, but more gay guys than I've ever seen in one place are looking at me, so:  "Ok, I'm in."

We move to the living room for sodas and snacks, and go over the plan:  Tomorrow at 1:30, we meet at Western Gateway Park in downtown Des Moines.  Dress casually, but nothing flamboyant, no leather or drag.  At 2:00 pm we walk the 13 blocks east on Grand Avenue to City Hall.  Forty gay men and lesbians have signed up, so we will march with a banner followed by six people walking three abreast, then another banner, and so on.

We discuss what to do if someone tries to engage, if someone attacks, if we have to scatter -- and if we are arrested.  We have a parade permit, so the police should be cooperative, but you never know.

Then Mickey and the other townies go home, and the out of town visitors bed down for the night.  It's  crowded: the two bedrooms are full, and four of us get sleeping bags on the living room floor (nothing erotic happens).

June 28th, 11:00 am:  Mickey and the other townies arrive for a brunch of pancakes, scrambled eggs,and sausages.  I'm slightly disappointed; I was expecting quiche and mimoses, the sort of gay cuisine I read about in The Advocate.

Mickey is wearing one of thse mesh half t-shirts popular at the time, with his pecs and shoulders visible behind the sheer mesh stuff, and your abs were completely exposed.  They only work if you have a perfect body.  A centimeter less than perfection, and they look stupid.  He doesn't look stupid.

After some discussion, Thomas decides that, although the t-shirt is hot, it's too flamboyant, and asks him to change into an Iowa Hawkeyes t-shirt.  "It's a football team," he explains.  "Turning Mickey into a wholesome all-American jock, the kind of boy you want your son to date."  Everyone laughs.

More Mickey after the break

"Wayward": A troubled youth school in 2003 and 2025, with gay teases, annoying misdirections, delinquent muscle, and Patrick's junk

 

Link to the n*de dudes

The 2025 tv series Wayward (one of those annoying Netflix one-word titles) is set at a school for troubled youth, so there's bound to be a lot of 30-year old fitness models playing juvenile delinquents, working out in the gym, lying shirtless in their bunks, and forming gay-subtext buddy-bonds.  I'm in.

Scene 1: A teenage boy (John Daniel), with a bloody shirt, breaks through a window and runs away from the Tall Pines Academy, while spotlights, dogs, and armed guards chase him, and a brainwashing chant plays "You're on your back, crying for your mother.  Your mother's face is a door..."  

Running Boy is trapped by a lake.  He tries to hide under the water, but the brainwashing chant is too much.  He sees a door and screams.

Scene 2: Toronto, 2003.  A lesbian couple, free-spirit Leila and her responsible Girlfriend, are sitting on the roof of their school, smoking and discussing their futures after they break free.  They pledge allegiance to the Beatles, escape from the roof, and are called into the headmaster's office (Patrick J. Adams, left).  He tells Leila that she is failing her classes due to her traumatic past, and dragging the Girlfriend down with her, so she is going to be sent to Tall Pines Academy in the U.S.

Patrick's d*ck is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

Scene 3: Tall Pines, Vermont, now. A butch/femme lesbian couple, the femme extremely pregnant, head through town.  Butch Alex complains about how old-fashioned and dinky it is, and when they get to the house, complains about its retro 1950s look.  But they have no choice: Detroit turned out to be a shithole, and the Wife grew up here, so they can get a house easily.  Alex decides that she can endure it, and they start making out.

Two lesbian couples?  Nice representation, but how about some gay men?  John Daniel is quite femme in real life.  If Riley isn't dead, maybe he'll be gay.

The 2003 and 2025 timelines are interspliced, but I'm separating them to make the plot easier to understand.

Toronto, 2003:  Leila and her girlfriend are raiding the refrigerator and discussing shrooms.  Girlfriend doesn't like Kyle (Donald Maclean, Jr): he never hangs out, and he's way old, like 26.   In other news, Eli is totally into for Girlfriend.  Wait -- these girls are straight?  But they're hanging all over each other and discussing their future together.  Sounds like queerbaiting.

Suddenly Girlfriend's Dad Brian (not listed in the IMDB) and the rest of the family appear, all irate.  After kicking Leila out, Dad complains that Girlfriend is going to fail all her classes this year to hang out with a criminal.  Back story: Everyone thinks that Leila murdered her sister.

Leila goes home to a horrible house in Toronto's ghetto, where her mom is watching a tv show about out-of-control kids that terrorize their parents.  Up to her room to get high and burn the Tall Pines Academy brochure.

The next day, the history class is watching The Thomas Crowne Affair with Pierce Brosnan?  The teacher is starting to cry; two hetero students are making out right at their desk. Girlfriend wants to know what this has to do with Canadian history -- it's not even set in Canada.  Uh-oh, Eli  (not listed in the IMDB), starts flirting and proffering pills.  He saw the exams in the staff room, so Leila and Girlfriend are going to break into the school so they can steal the answers. 

When Girlfriend gets home from school, she finds Dad entertaining Bill from Work and his wife, who criticize her outfit and interest in social justice. The parents order her to go upstairs, change clothes, and help with the entertaining, "and pretend to be our daughter."  This causes her to blow up.  Dad grounds her, but she escapes and runs away. 

The girls and Eli sneak into the school, take some shrooms, and frolick before stealing the test questions that will allow them to pass.  Then Leila dumps the Girlfriend to hang out with her boyfriend Kyle. At least she left Eli for you to do stuff with.

Later, Girlfriend tries to sneak back into the house, but the whole family is still up.  Her sister hugs her. Who died?

She goes to bed, but is awakened by men with flashlights, who tie her up, put a bag on her head -- with the parents' permission -- and drag her to a sinister white van. That's hardly a legitimate way to enroll a teen in a troubled youth academy.  

The sun is just coming up when they arrive, and are welcomed by headmaster Leanne.  Wait -- how did they get through American customs with a screaming, tied up girl?

2025 Vermont after the break. 

Willie Aames: Charles in Charge's Buddy shows his willie, becomes Bibleman and a platinum-selling author

 

Link to the n*de photos

According to his IMBD biography, Willie Aaames is an award winning, Platinum-selling writer and producer/director and a 6-star cruise ship director. How does a book go platinum? But he's best known for showing the world his d*ck

He started appearing on screen at the age of 11, with guest spots in The Courtship of Eddie's Father, The Odd Couple, Adam's Rib, Adam-12, and The Waltons.

A starring role in Swiss Family Robinson (1975-76), which adds paranormal peril to the ill-fated island.

120 episodes of the sappy drama Eight is Enough (1977-81), as Tommy Bradford, the second-to-youngest son,  whose shtick was being absurdly amorous, sneaking into the girls' locker room and so on, until he got his girlfriend pregnant and married her.

This led to the dreadful Zapped! (1982), with the nerd Barney (Scott Baio) getting telekinetic powers, and apparently using them to look up girls' skirts.  Willie played his best friend.

And Charles in Charge (1982-90), as Buddy, the bodybuilding best buddy of the college student turned male nanny.  His scene consisted of "Charles!  There's this party tonight, with GIRLS!!!  We can meet GIRLS!!!,", and Charles responding, "I can't go, I have to stay home and watch these two teenage girls, one of whom is my age, so why she needs a nanny is beyond me."

And Paradise (1982), a knockoff of Blue Lagoon, with none of the scintillating dialogue or intriguing plot (ok, I'm joking.  Blue Lagoon didn't have those things, either.)

But you did get to see Willie's willie, and his bare backside.

More after the break.