Link to the n*de photos
He buddied up to his Gemstone costars, male gues stars, and hunky stuntmen. And a surprising number of non-actor friends (n*de photos on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).
Beefcake, gay subtexts, and queer representation in tv and other pop culture from the 1950s to the present
"My man!" Pontius exclaimed, pulling him into a hug. "We had to come out and support our skating bro!"
"So...er...how did you like the show?" he asked the cute boy.
He said "Nice" in a near whisper, and looked up at Pontius.
"You know my little brother Abraham, right?"
Now he remembered. "Oh, sure -- I've seen you around the skate park, and in French class last year?" He turned to Pontius. "This guy spends three-fourths of the class not saying a word, and then suddenly he gives a five-minute spiel on Cocteau."
"Cock Two?" Pontius repeated. "Sounds like my kind of writer."
Stacy laughed and grabbed his arm. "Be good!"
"Oh, I'm always good, Stace."
Wait -- were Pontius and Stacy dating? He knew that Stacy was gay-- but didn't Pontius like girls?
"We're...um...going out for pizza," Abraham said, looking down. "Do you want to come with us?"
"En Francais, s'il vous plait."
He grinned -- a smile that made Ash melt! "Veux-tu manger une pizza avec nous ? Et baise-moi "
And kiss me? Whoa....
Once he had about a quart of soda in him, Abraham opened up. His parents took him to Paris for his tenth birthday, and he was hooked. He wanted to major in French in college, and become a translator. He liked Heartstopper on Nickelodeon, country-Western music, mountain bikes, water-skiing, and scary movies.
Ash saw his chance: "Have you seen Sinners? It's about twin brothers fighting vampires during the Great Depression."
"Sounds cool," Abraham said, flashing that incredible smile. "Where's it playing?"
Ash checked his cell phone. "At the Terrace. I'm performing tomorrow and Sunday, but we could go on Tuesday night, if you're free."
Pontius began "Sure, we'd...", but Stacy shushed him. "I mean, sorry, we have plans. Why don't you and Abraham go together?"
Abraham looked down at his plate. "That'd be ok."
"Great. I'll pick you up..."
"No!" he said forcefully, almost angrily. "I'll pick you up..."
They all stared.
Ash's performance was better on Saturday night, and nearly perfect for the Sunday matinee, but still, the hours dragged. He couldn't stop thinking of Abraham's smile, and resisted the urge to text him every five minutes. He still texted a lot, just not every five minutes.
August 26: The movie was one of the best he'd ever seen, and the date was the best he'd ever had, cuddling against the amazingly cute Abraham Gemstone, arranging to reach for the popcorn when he did so their hands could touch. But things came crashing down when Abraham dropped Ash off at his house, and he leaned in for a kiss.
Abraham moved his head. "Hey, watch it!"
Ash's stomach churned. Wasn't this a date? Wasn't Abraham gay? "Sorry. I thought..."
He was staring straight ahead. "It's ok."
"If you don't like me in that way, we can always be friends, right?"
"Sure."
"Shake hands?" He held out his hand. Abraham took it, pressed the open palm to his face, and closed his eyes. Was he trembling?
"Are you ok?"
"No. I mean, yeah, sure, of course." He dropped Ash's hand. "Good night."
When Ash texted a "thanks for a nice evening" later, he didn't respond. And in the morning, when he texted "Are we still friends?", no response.
Michael Sayfou: Ethiopian-American model/theater major with a cat, a physique, and a lot of queer codes. Plus some Ethiopian d*cks. I'm using Michael as the model for Ash.
Gavin Munn's polar plunge. Plus Tony's cold dip, a bondage hookup, and some nude dudes in the snow
“Thank you for agreeing to the interviews,” Jimmy said.
“It’s a visit,” he corrected. “You’re our guest for the weekend. Think of yourself as family – a long lost cousin. You want anything, just ask.” Then he flashed The Look – everybody did, Jimmy should have expected it, but he was still taken aback. This was Jesse Gemstone!
Since he was about 15 years old, everybody who saw Jimmy Olsen, except for kids and the very old, fell in love with him. Man, woman, gay, straight, single, married – it made no difference. Usually they weren’t really aware of what was happening, they just knew that they liked Jimmy and wanted to do things for him – he got a free dessert almost every time he ate in a restaurant, he was bumped to first class almost every time he flew, and he had never been turned down for a date or a hookup, except by Clark Kent – but sometimes they knew exactly what they wanted, and got a little aggressive. God, he hoped that Jesse Gemstone wouldn’t get aggressive.But all Rev. Gemstone did was caress Jimmy's arm a bit and lead him into the foyer and…the library, where the Gemstone siblings crawled after they were shot by Corey Milsap, and prayed for him as he died -- they prayed for their murderer!
“I’m surprised that you want to spend time at this place, when you and your brother and sister were shot and almost died here.”
He chuckled. “So, if I stayed away from every place where someone tried to kill me, I’d never go anywhere.” Then he hesitated. “This isn’t going to be one of those smear pieces, is it? Frankly, I agreed to the visit because I like some of your articles in the Daily Planet. You’ve got heart -- not like that Lois Lane and her muckraking interviews with Superman”
“It's going to be about the Gemstone Miracle, how you survive and thrive after adversity. I get you – I grew up in the South. In an Evangelical family.”
“But you’re not Evangelical anymore?” Uh-oh, Jimmy felt soul-winning coming on.
“I’m a gay ally – my sister is trans. And I just couldn't stand the homophobia in my home church."
“Why, do you have a piece in mind?”
As Rev. Gemstone showed him the dining room, kitchen, sun room, and game room, Jimmy wrote his introduction in his head:
A cross between Elvis Presley and Conway Twitty, with the Van Buren sideburns and rings on every finger, Jesse Gemstone lives the Gemstone motto of “Do it big!” He has been kidnapped by his uncle, assaulted by a close friend, and shot by another close friend, yet he doesn’t hesitate to open his home and his heart to a complete stranger.
“My brother and sister and their spouses will be coming up for dinner, and my oldest, Gideon, will be arriving tomorrow. Right now it’s just my wife and I, our other two kids, and their boyfriends.”
Wait – boyfriends? Didn’t Jesse and Amber Gemstone have three sons? Jimmy would have to check his notes.
Mrs. Amber Gemstone: The Preacher’s Wife
Mrs. Gemstone was in the kitchen, elegantly dressed, all in white as she brought a pastry – peach cobbler? – from the oven. She wiped her hands on a towel to shake Jimmy’s hand.
“You must think I’m an old fashioned Evangelical housewife, subservient to her husband,” she said, pausing as she gave him The Look.
“No, I don’t think that at….”
She caressed his arm. “But we don’t have full time staff at the lake house. The service goes home after making lunch, so we have to either eat out or cook dinner ourselves. But coming all the way from Metropolis, I thought you’d appreciate some real Southern cooking rather than the Root Cellar or Thai Thai.”
Jimmy pulled away. “I’d appreciate that, Ma’am.”
“Open!” She popped a spoonful of cobbler into his mouth – a big spoonful, and still steaming hot! He cried out in pain.
“Oh, I’m so sorry! Jesse, get a glass of milk for our guest!”
Amber Gemstone, resplendent in white, the picture of the elegant Southern woman, is expertly hiding some insecurity. She longs to be a traditional Evangelical housewife, following St. Paul’s admonition to “be submissive to your husband,” but the three-time sharpshooting champion of Charleston doesn’t take kindly to being submissive.
“Pontius and Stacy are out on a pontoon boat,” Jesse told him. “You can meet them later. Next up is my youngest, Abraham. He just turned eighteen.”
Stacy? Ok, Jimmy must have misheard. Jesse’s middle son had a girlfriend, not a boyfriend.
He led Jimmy out to the bigger of the pools – the one behind the lake house – where two teenage boys were playing a noisy sword fight game with pool tubes. They were high school aged, athletic. When they saw Jesse and Jimmy, they jumped out of the pool and ran forward.
“Boys, this is Jimmy Olsen, the reporter who will be staying with us this weekend. My son Abraham –” he gestured at the shorter boy, who had a muscular physique and a shock of unruly brown hair. “And this is his friend Ash” – tall and thin, with brown skin and curly black hair.
“Don’t be so retro, Dad,” Abraham said, flashing the Look as he took Jimmy’s hand. “Ash is my boyfriend. I’m gay.”
“Yeah, with a boyfriend, I figured.” He dislodged himself from Abraham and shook hands with Ash, who of course flashed the Look.
"I'll leave you alone to get acquainted." Rev. Gemstone vanished into the house.
“Go ahead and publish it in The Daily Planet,” Abraham continued.
“If there’s room in my article.”
“I figured it out when I was like six, but I was afraid to come out to Dad after what happened to my brother Gideon…”
What happened to Gideon? Jimmy smelled a Gemstone story that he hadn’t read in a bio or seen on CNN.
“We’re big fans of Superman,” Ash interrupted. “Have you met him?”“Hey, want to go water-skiing before dinner?” Abraham asked. “If you brought your swimsuit.”
Living in the shadow of three generations of famous Gemstones, 18-year old Abraham has found his own way to be noticed: by being loud, by talking about what everyone else is afraid to mention: secrets, bodily functions, identities. The first thing he says to you, after “Hello,” is “I’m gay.”
The full story, with n*de photos and s*xual situations, is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends
See also: Jimmy Olsen's Secret Life, Part 2: Keefe singing, Jimmy twerking, and Gideon in his underwear
Jimmy Olsen: Superman's Boy Pal
"Superman" (2025): You'll believe a man can queerbait
I never wrote fan fiction before, but I got the urge frequently during the run of The Righteous Gemstones, to "fix" terrible plotlines, expand upon minor characters, and respond to the incessant "that doesn't make Kelvin gay" fan complaints. There are 25 on Archive of Our Own, but I've only reposted 18 here:
How do I Know If I'm G...: Pontius pressures his older brother, 16-year old Gideon, into coming to his sleepover. He invites the "juvenile delinquent" Manny, gets his first kiss, and wonders if he is g___.
Kelvin and Keefe under the Christmas tree. After the events of Season 1, everyone thinks that Kelvin and Keefe are boyfriends -- except for Kelvin.
B*ndage doesn't solve everything. There were several hints in Episodes 1-2 that Kelvin and Keefe were into tie-up games, so I wrote a story where they guys break up during a scene, then reconcile when Kelvin arranges for Keefe to get a job as manager of the Gemstone Health Club.
Kelvin's Rebound Date with Percy. Percy appears in just one scene, as an interior designer working on the church board room. In this story, Kelvin is distraught after the Episode 3.4 breakup, and his siblings suggest that he move on...with a date with Percy.
The Kiss Heard 'Round the World. The day of the Episode 3.8 Kelvin/Keefe kiss, seen through the eyes of Amber, Gideon, Eli, Judy, Keefe, and Jesse.
More after the break
The Dirt on Vance: Vance Simkins (Stephen Dorff) examines his burnt-out church and glares at the Gemstone satellite church across the street. Cut to a Simpkins Commercial with him and his siblings, Craig and Shay, saying: "Grace.. .Praise... Rejoice.. Salvation."
Craig criticizes Vance for running the church into the ground,destroying their parents' legacy. He keeps trying to open new churches when they're broke, just to compete with the Gemstones: "You can't admit you're beat, can you?"
Vance protests that he's going to win the Top Christ Following Man Award.
"You're a straight white man," Craig digs. "Your kind don't get awards anymore. Wait -- are you straight? Never had a girlfriend, sweetie-pie." Enraged by the implication, Vance slaps Craig and throws him onto the desk.
Uh-oh, a church deacon saw the attack. Vance is violent, like Uncle Peter in Season 3 and Lyle Lissons in Season 2....he's the Big Bad of the season!
Vance had some queer codes back in Season 3, when he swished around with that tiny dog. It would make sense for him to be gay and closeted.
Gogo Lomo-David is gay in real life, but there's no evidence that his character is gay.
Baby Billy and Kelvin in Decline: Baby Billy finishes his screenplay about a teenage Jesus and his friends, changes the title from "Teen Jesus" to "Teenjus," and snorts some cocaine. That's the Belly of the Beast in the Gemstone universe, buddy.Cut to Kelvin and Keefe rushing through the crowd of queer well-wishers to a party to celebrate his Top Christ Following Man nomination. Jesse, Amber, and Judy look angry; Eli, Lori, and Gideon look happy. Abraham looks intrigued; Pontius sneers. Abraham is the last of Jesse's kids to get a queer code. I wrote a fan story where he comes out.
They begin partying. Kelvin joins his siblings to gloat at the big turnout. Judy sneers: "You're their little gay avatar." Jesse: "You need to stop smelling your farts." Translation: He's getting way too conceited about this award thing.
Lori drops by. They criticize her for doing stuff with their father. She promises to lock the door next time, and asks if they can start over and be friends again. After all, she's known them all their lives. Nope, "We reject this union."
Lori: "All y'all little c*cksuckers better put on your big boy pants and get the f*uck over it." Hey, that's homophobic, and at a LGBTQ event! My estimation of Lori dropped 20 points.
She continues: "I wanted to be y'all's friend, but if you want a wicked stepmother, I can do that, too."
The siblings interpret "stepmother" to mean that Lori and Eli got married. They are disgusted.
The Nanny notes that she likes teen dramas like Pretty Little Liars and Gossip Girl. She would watch Teenjus. Baby Billy yells at her.
Left: Matthew Settle, who played the Dad on "Gossip Girl." His frontside and backside are on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.
Tiffany suggests that Baby Billy retire so he will be around for their children growing up, but he refuses. He's got to seize this opportunity. "I got to provide for you. I don't know how much time I got." Another precursor of doom.
BJ's Injury. BJ tries to make it from the toilet to his wheelchair, but fails and falls into the bathtub. Judy rushes in to help. He complains that he can't even pee on his own. "I'm broken. I'm half a man."
Judy points out that the doctors say he will have a full recovery, but he won't believe it. When she tries to help him out of the bathtub, he angrily yells at her to go.
Amber arrives to see how they are doing -- they're both miserable -- and to give Judy a service monkey named Dr. Watson. She works with a charity that trains service monkeys for disabled veterans (first I'm hearing of it).
Kelvin exclaims that "it's all coming together. A project like this tree house is exactly what I needed."
Next up in the Top Christ Following Man of the Year contest is a tv roundtable discussion: "A great chance to drop some dank soundbits and establish myself as a clear fave."
The Yellow Kerchief: Jesse at the Cape & Pistol headquarters, drinking and glaring at Eli as he talks to his friends. Vance stops by to heckle him for Eli dating Lori, and to blame him for bombing the Simkins church. He threatens to "drop a yellow kerchief," challenging Jesse to a duel. Jesse smirks and pretends not to know who Vance is, angering him even more.
BJ and Watson: Judy introduces BJ to his new service monkey. She demonstrates, asking him to bring a Black Cherry White Claw (a hard seltzer beverage) -- and he does! Actually, it's Citrus Yuzu Smash, another flavor of White Claw. Close enough. Capuchin monkeys can learn up to 200 words and understand complex sentences.
The Dirt on Big D*ck: The Gemstone Leadership Team, aka Jesse's Goon Squad, has been researching Miss Lori's socials, and found lots of photos of her with different men, especially Big D*ck Mick, her ex boyfriend (although Matthew doesn't think it's very big -- you can't see the outline through his pants. This will become important later).A newspaper article reveals that Big Dick Mick went missing on May 11, 2024. Plus several of Lori's other boyfriends have gone missing, and some are just dead: drowning, car accident, suicide. Uh-oh, she's a "Black Widow."
Wait -- Lori started dating Eli last September, during the Aimee-Leight telethon. These guys are dying eight months or more after she ended the relationship. Why would she kill them? Corey must be the culprit.
The siblings need more information. Time to ask someone who knows Miss Lori well.
Teenjus Again: Baby Billy pitches his television show, Teenjus, to the siblings. They don't like the name. He promises to give them some dirt on Miss Lori, if they greenlight the project. SO they agree.
The dirt: Miss Lori begged him to let her sing at the telethon, saying that she was broke and needed the gig. Don't performers volunteer their time at those things? And she immediately starts dating Eli. Suspicious? That's it? I expected something juicier.
The Dirt on Miss Lori: The siblings wait for Eli, discussing who gets to "crush him" first with their revelation.
When he arrives -- wearing a ridiculous outfit -- they reveal that many of Lori's ex-boyfriends have ended up missing or dead. Also "she's in debt up to her eyeballs." Eli thinks they're just making stuff up, and yells at them that "Mama ain't coming back!"
"Us or her?" the siblings demand. "Pick a side."
He picks the one that lets him have s*x, of course.
Later, as they fume, Kelvin struts his stuff, bragging about his achievements. Jesse thinks that his nomination for Top Christ Following Man is a sham, just tokenism. Got to nominate the gay guy to prove that we're into diversity, but no way will he win. I remember when I was applying for jobs, I would always get interviews as a diversity token.
Kelvin counters that Jesse is a loser. Even his kids don't respect him. And Judy, married to "a pole-dancing cripple." Dang, Kelvin, you're a super jerk today. They both get hurt feelings from these savage jabs. "I hope you feel good about yourself," Jesse says.
Kelvin turns his back -- no, he doesn't feel good about himself at all.
Baby Billy cuts the action and asks Jesus for more "smolder."
And because he played a Queen. Not the gay one, but still....
And because he shows us his....
More after the break
Michael Sayfou played Ash, one of Pontius' skateboarding friends, on two episodes of The Righteous Gemstones. I don't think he had any lines, but Gideon Gemstone called him by name and hugged him, and he was standing directly behind Gideon's brother Abraham at the opening of the new Christian skate park. That was enough for me to write an Ash-Abraham romance, "My Dad Can't Know That I'm Gay"
The rock churches of Lalibella!
The Ethiopian Orthodox Church, one of the oldest in Christianity!
More after the break.